Only Her

by Allie Everhart

  “Dinner looks delicious,” I say as I take my seat.

  Jade sits across from me. “Garret made it.”

  “Charles gave me the recipe for the barbecue sauce.” Garret starts passing the food around; barbecued chicken, potatoes, and coleslaw. “Charles is going to be shocked when he sees you, Mom.”

  I serve myself some potatoes. “I can’t wait to see him again. He was always such a nice man.”

  Garret takes the seat next to Jade. “Dad, have you talked to Lilly?”

  “We talked earlier today. I’ll pick her up Monday morning.”

  “When’s Katherine leaving for France?”

  “I believe she leaves Wednesday. She said she isn’t coming back until early September.”

  “Tell Lilly she can stay with us for more than that week in July,” Jade says to Pearce. “She could come here in June if she wants.”

  “We’ll talk about it and let you know.”

  Pearce and I discussed Lilly earlier this week. He thinks it would be good for Lilly to stay with Jade and Garret for a few weeks while we get things settled, but I told him he should talk to her about it before he decides. I don’t want Lilly to feel like she’s being sent away because of me. Katherine did that with Garret by sending him to boarding school, but I would never do that to Lilly. She’s just a young girl and she needs her father.

  Dinner continues and we talk and laugh and just enjoy being together. When I first got here, it was awkward. My return was such a surprise that no one knew how to act. But within a few days, the awkwardness went away and now we’re relaxed and just one big happy family.

  After dinner, we have dessert out on the patio and remain there until it’s time to leave. As we’re standing at the door, my eyes fill with tears because in the morning, Pearce and I are flying to Connecticut.

  Garret hugs me. “Mom, this isn’t goodbye. You guys will be coming back here.”

  “I know, but I don’t know when. And after being away from you for so long, I don’t like leaving you.” I hug him tighter. “I love you, honey.”

  “I love you too.”

  I hug Jade next. “Goodbye, Jade. Get some rest. I’m sure all the excitement this week wore you out.”

  “It did, but I loved it. It was great having you here. You guys need to move here.”

  She laughs as she says it, but Pearce and I do still plan to move here. We’re just not sure when, so we don’t want to tell anyone until we know for sure.

  Pearce has already hugged Jade and Garret goodbye and is now holding Abi. She’s clinging to him because she knows he’s leaving.

  “Grandpa has to go,” he tells her. “Goodbye, honey.” He kisses her cheek.

  She shakes her head really fast. “No go.”

  “I’ll come back and see you. Give Grandpa a kiss goodbye.”

  She kisses his cheek, then hugs him. It’s so sweet.

  He hands her to me and I give her a big hug and a kiss, then we head out.

  The next morning, I almost can’t make myself get on Pearce’s private jet, knowing what happened last time I almost boarded a small plane. But I manage to get over my fear and we make it to Connecticut by the afternoon.

  Pearce’s black Mercedes is waiting at the airport. When I ask why he’s still driving the same type of car, he tells me it’s provided by the organization, but won’t tell me any more than that.

  “How are you feeling?” Pearce asks, as we’re driving to his house.

  “Sick to my stomach.” I take a breath and focus on the trees that line the road. I always loved all the woods in Connecticut. I grew up surrounded by wide open farmland so when I moved here, the woods were a welcome change of scenery.

  Pearce takes my hand, which was resting in my lap. “Relax, sweetheart. Everything will be fine.”

  “I just feel like I’m surrounded by enemies here.”

  “You’re not. Leland lives in New York and my father is dead.”

  “Have you spoken to Eleanor?”

  “Yes, but I haven’t told her about you. I wanted to wait and tell her when I got back.”

  “How do you think she’ll react?”

  “She’ll be pleased.”

  “I’m not so sure about that. She never really liked me.”

  “She liked you. She may not have come out and said it, but it was clear that she did. She’s the reason my father held his tongue around you. When he criticized you, she defended you, which I’m sure infuriated my father.”

  “I never knew that. I’m surprised she stood up for me that way.”

  “She didn’t at first. Those first couple years we were married, she felt the same way my father did. She didn’t approve of you or our marriage. But after Garret came along and she spent more time with you, she changed her mind about you. She told me several times what a wonderful mother you were to Garret, and she knew what a good wife you were to me. My mother never liked Katherine, although she pretended she did, for Lilly’s sake.”

  We enter a neighborhood full of gated mansions and Pearce slows down as we approach one of them. He stops at a large iron gate.

  “Welcome back, Mr. Kensington,” a voice says from a speaker attached to the gate.

  “Thank you.” Pearce waits for the gate to open, then drives down a long road that ends at a circular driveway in front of a very large mansion.

  “This is quite a house,” I say, eyeing the mansion. “How big is it?”

  “Eighteen thousand square feet.” He parks the car but doesn’t get out.

  “What’s wrong? Aren’t we going inside?”

  “Yes.” He gazes at the house. “I just feel odd bringing you here. I didn’t expect to feel this way, but now that we’re here…I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right.”

  “Why? I don’t understand.”

  “It’s not you and me. It doesn’t fit us. And I know you won’t feel comfortable here.”

  I undo my seatbelt and turn to him. “Pearce, I’ll feel comfortable wherever you are.”

  “I’ve never liked this house. I never wanted it. Katherine forced me to build it. And it’s full of memories I’d rather forget.”

  “Then why didn’t you move after the divorce?”

  “It was just more convenient to stay here. It’s close to Lilly’s school and close to the office.” He opens his door. “Let’s go inside.”

  Pearce does seem uncomfortable being here with me. I’m uncomfortable too, knowing that Katherine used to live here. That horrible woman stole my family, and made their lives miserable for years. I will never forgive her for that.

  When Pearce opens the door, I see touches of Katherine everywhere I look. White walls. Shiny white tile floors. White furniture. Glass tables.

  “I know,” Pearce says as we walk in the living room. “I should’ve redecorated after the divorce.”

  I hold his hand. “Pearce, stop worrying so much. The house is fine. Give me the rest of the tour.”

  He takes me over to Garret’s wing, as he calls it, which is a section of the house he built just for Garret. It has a movie room, a game room, a gym, and an indoor pool. It’s every kid’s dream, and it was nice of Pearce to build all of this for Garret, but I wish he’d been a father to him instead. That’s what Garret needed, more than a game room or an indoor basketball court.

  Next we go down a long hallway full of rooms that seem to have no purpose. They’re just rooms with couches and chairs, and some are empty. It’s strange, but I don’t comment on it because I know it’s all Katherine’s design and I’m trying not to talk about her.

  We go upstairs to the bedrooms, stopping at Garret’s room first. It’s a large room with its own bathroom.

  “Did Garret choose the color?” I smile at the navy blue walls.

  Pearce chuckles. “Yes. Katherine hated it, but I insisted Garret be allowed to choose the color.”

  We leave his room and pass by several guest rooms, then Pearce stops and takes me into a room that I’m guessing belongs to his daughter
.

  “This is Lilly’s room.” He smiles. “As you can see, she likes the color pink.”

  The room has pink walls and a white iron bed with a pink comforter. And there’s a small pink couch next to a white table that has a pink lamp on it. Two of the walls are covered in artwork, mostly charcoal sketches and watercolor paintings.

  I point to a painting of a field covered in wildflowers. “Did Lilly paint that?”

  “Yes. She did all of these.” He motions to the artwork. “The room next to this one is an art room I set up for her. That’s where she does her paintings.”

  “She’s very talented.”

  “Yes, she is.” He smiles and I can see how proud he is of her. “Well, shall we go downstairs?”

  “You didn’t show me your room.”

  “You don’t need to see it. We’re not staying in that room. We’ll stay in one of the guest rooms. You can pick whichever one want you’d like.”

  He doesn’t want us staying in the bedroom he shared with Katherine, and I agree. I don’t think I could sleep there, knowing she was there with him.

  “I’d still like to see it if you don’t mind.” Then again, maybe I don’t, but he’s already walking me down there.

  The master bedroom is huge, with a king-size bed and a sitting area off to the side. I go over to the dresser, which has photos spread all across it. There’s one of Pearce, Garret, and me at Easter, when Garret was only five. He’s wearing a dark gray suit that matches his dad’s, and a little blue tie.

  “This was always one of my favorite photos,” I say, holding it up.

  “Yes. Mine too.”

  There’s another photo that shows just Pearce and me, and then some of Garret and Lilly at different ages.

  “How old was he here?” I hold up a photo of Garret as a teenager.

  “He was 15. I have other photos of him you can go through later. They’re in a box in my office downstairs.” He takes the photo from me and sets it down. “Let’s go.” He holds my hand and leads me out of the room.

  “Should we get the luggage?”

  “I’ll get it later.”

  Pearce takes me downstairs to the kitchen. A man wearing a white chef’s coat is standing at the sink with his back to us, washing dishes.

  “Charles,” Pearce says. “I’d like you to meet someone.”

  “Pearce, I didn’t know you were home.” Charles dries his hands on a towel as he turns around. He drops the towel when he sees me. “Rachel?”

  I smile. “Yes. It’s me. It’s good to see you again, Charles.”

  He stares at my face for a moment, then hurries over to me and hugs me. “How is this possible?”

  “It’s a long story,” Pearce says. “Let’s save it for another day. Rachel and I are tired from the flight.”

  We can’t tell Charles the truth about what happened to me. He’ll be getting the same story we tell the media.

  Charles steps back, eyeing me. “This is unbelievable. Did you tell Garret yet?”

  “Yes. Pearce and I spent the past week with him and his family. We had a wonderful time. I can’t wait to go back.”

  “This is amazing. I can’t believe you’re really here.” He smiles, and it’s the same warm, friendly smile I remember. His dark hair is now mixed with gray and he carries some extra weight, but otherwise he looks the same. “Let me get you something to eat. You must be starving. What would you like?”

  “Anything’s fine. You know I always loved whatever you made.”

  “Rachel.” Pearce puts his arm around me. “The man is desperate to make you something. Please, tell him what you’d like.”

  I smile at Charles. “I always loved your grilled pizzas.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll have.” He races back around the kitchen island. “I’ll get the dough started. Dinner should be ready in an hour, if that works.”

  “That’s perfect,” Pearce says. “Thank you, Charles.”

  “Yes, thank you.” I sneak around the island and give Charles another hug and say quietly to him, “And thank you for helping take care of my son. And Pearce.” I step back and see him tearing up. I am too.

  Years ago, I thought I was just hiring Charles for some catering jobs, but he ended up helping my family in ways I never could’ve imagined. He was meant to come into our lives. I just didn’t know it until all these years later.

  Pearce brings our luggage in from the car and up to one of the guest rooms. It’s a large room with a very large bathroom. We shower and change clothes and I hang the rest of my things in the walk-in closet.

  Pearce has been quiet since we arrived. He hasn’t been very affectionate either. He hasn’t even kissed me. It’s a total contrast to how he acted in California, and it concerns me.

  “Pearce, what’s wrong?” I’m standing by the bed as Pearce puts his shirt on.

  “Nothing’s wrong.” He buttons his shirt. “Why would you ask that?”

  “You’re acting completely different than when we were in California.”

  His brows furrow. “What do you mean?”

  “You seem distant, like your mind is elsewhere. You’re being very quiet, and you haven’t kissed me since we got here.”

  He thinks for a moment. “You’re right.” He comes up to me, his arms circling my waist, and kisses me. “Is that better?”

  I kiss him back. “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry, Rachel. It’s this house. It just doesn’t feel right being here. I don’t like being here in Connecticut either. I want us to have a fresh start someplace new.”

  I smile at him. “Like in California?”

  “Yes. I’m liking that idea more and more. It will be challenging working from there, but it’s where we need to be. I want to be closer to Garret and Jade and the baby. Living out here, I only see them a few times a year, and that’s not enough.”

  “How soon do you want to move?”

  “As soon as possible. Once we get things settled here, I’m putting this house up for sale and we’re moving.”

  “Where in California should we live?”

  “Wherever you’d like.”

  “How about Santa Barbara? It’s a beautiful city and a good location. It’s close to Garret’s house but not too close. We don’t want to suffocate them.” I kiss him. “And we want our privacy as well.”

  “Then we will live in Santa Barbara. I have a real estate agent in LA that I’ve worked with in the past. She can find us something.”

  “I don’t want anything too big.”

  “Just make a list of what you’d like and she’ll find it for us.”

  “I fell in love with Grace’s house. If she could find us something like that, it would be perfect.”

  Pearce smiles. “You like Grace’s house?”

  “I love it. It’s the perfect size. I love the layout. And her gardens are amazing. It’s like my dream home.”

  “If you want it, it’s yours.”

  “Pearce, we can’t take her house. She loves that house.”

  “She’s putting it up for sale later this year.”

  “Are you serious? Did she tell you that?”

  “Yes. She was talking about it after dinner the other night. You must’ve been out of the room when she mentioned it. She said the house is a lot to maintain and she doesn’t use it much anymore now that she lives next to Garret.”

  “She really wants to sell it?” I hear how excited I sound and notice Pearce smiling.

  ”Yes. So if you would like it, I will let her know and it will be ours.”

  “I don’t want to buy it unless you like it too. It’s so much smaller than what you’re used to.”

  “Sweetheart, I told you, I never wanted a big house like this. I liked our old house. That felt like a home. This one doesn’t. It never has.”

  “But do you even like Grace’s house?”

  “I do, but I think it could use some updating. Maybe redo the kitchen and the master bath. And the back yard definitely needs a po
ol.”

  “I agree. With all of it.” I hug him. “I can’t wait to move there.”

  “You’re far too easy to please. I would’ve bought you oceanfront property and built you the house of your dreams. But instead you chose Grace’s house.”

  “Because it already is the house of my dreams. I love it.” I kiss him. “And I love you.”

  “I love you too, sweetheart.” He checks the clock. “Let’s go check on dinner.”

  We eat dinner with Charles and the pizza is even better than I remembered. He served it with a salad and wine and we ate outside by the pool. It’s warm for May, similar to the weather we left in California.

  That night, Pearce doesn’t sleep well. He tosses and turns and I think it’s because he’s worried about how Lilly will react to seeing me here. I’m worried about that too.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  30

  RACHEL

  I’m waiting inside the house, sitting in the living room, my stomach a nervous mess. Pearce just got home with Lilly and they’re in the driveway. By now, he’s told her about me. What if she doesn’t accept me? What if she hates me? What if she doesn’t want me living with them?

  “Rachel?” I hear Pearce calling for me. He’s in the foyer. “Rachel, are you down here?”

  “Yes.” I hurry to the foyer and he’s standing there next to a tall, thin girl with long blond hair, blue eyes, and a very sweet smile.

  “Hi,” she says softly. “I’m Lilly.” She holds out her hand.

  I shake her hand and smile. “I’m Rachel. It’s very nice to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too.” She glances down. She seems shy, or maybe she’s just uncomfortable around me.

  “Let’s go sit down,” Pearce says.

  We go to the living room and Pearce and Lilly sit on the couch and I take the chair at the end. Lilly looks very similar to Katherine, but she doesn’t act like her. Her demeanor seems kind and sweet, not harsh and conniving like her mother’s.

  “Did you have a good week with your mom?” I ask, not knowing what else to say.

  She shrugs. “It’s like it always is.”

  I don’t know what that means. Is it bad? Good?