A Different Kind of Love

by Jean Saunders

  Once there, it was as impossible to sleep as it had been when she was a child. She didn’t close her curtains, since she had always loved to watch the sky through the small square of windowglass.

  When she had been as young as Maura and Aileen, she had always hoped desperately that when she woke on Christmas morning, the window ledges would be thick with snow, then she and Donal would hurl snowballs at each other and build a snowman, with bits of coal for his eyes, and a carrot for his nose.

  Her thoughts now were far from childish. All she could think about, as she gazed through the window, was Luke. And the feelings that flooded into her were ones she recognised all too well. She wanted him to hold her in his arms, kiss every part of her, sweep her off her feet, and overcome all her remaining inhibitions. She wanted him so badly to make love to her, wildly and passionately…

  She was breathing very fast, and her heartbeats were so erratic they were almost painful. She wanted him, in the biblical sense of the word – and in the earthiest way imaginable. Her entire body throbbed with her need for him, and the feeling was all centred in the hot, moist part of her that needed him most. She felt the exquisite pulsing inside her, and squeezed herself together, trying to push the feeling away. She knew instantly why she was rejecting these indescribable sensations. It was because she was alone, and making love was something wonderful to be shared. It was being a part of someone you loved, and not something to experience in the loneliness of a solitary bedroom.

  A small sob welled up in her throat, knowing she had so much love to give, and wondering if she would ever know the happiness of it again? Unless Luke could take her as she was, then she never would. And she had no idea how she could ever tell him.

  Kate was thankful her two small sisters were up early the next morning and bouncing on her bed the minute they awoke. It helped to alleviate any questions about the look on Kate’s face that betrayed a sleepless night. She forced herself to be bright and cheerful, because nobody should be sad on Christmas Day.

  She imagined Luke waking up and looking through his window at the cold London streets, and dressing in a leisurely way before going to spend the day at Mrs Wood’s. She felt the most enormous sense of jealousy, because Mrs Wood and Doris and Faye, and even the impossible Thomas Lord Tannersley, would be sharing the day with him, and not her. Kate told herself she must be going slightly mad, but then, people in love always were. Everybody knew that.

  She defiantly wore the new green frock she was so fond of, despite her mother’s distaste for the colour, but she was obliged to cover it with one of Alice’s voluminous overalls while she helped with the final dinner preparations. By two o’clock in the afternoon the meal was ready, and as she dispensed with the overall at last, Donal gave a low whistle.

  “We’ve got a real film star at the table today, and no mistake,” he said, and as Kate saw her mother’s frown, she wished he hadn’t said anything of the sort.

  “Don’t be daft. It’s only me inside, whatever the clobber,” she said quickly. “And you wait and see how Maura and Aileen will look with what I’ve brought for them.”

  It was the nearest she would say about their surprise gifts, but it turned the conversation from her own appearance.

  And in the end, the day was as noisy and cheerful as any other Christmas Day. The girls paraded in their new frocks, and her mother was clearly pleased with her warm winter scarf and stockings, and the box of sweetmeats from a posh West End store, and the menfolk appreciated their gloves. Kate had been given little trinkets from them all, that she told them she would always treasure.

  There had been only one moment of disquiet, and that was when she had opened all her gifts from her London folk. Most of them were modest enough – a box of hankies from Doris and Faye; a carton of chocolates from Thomas, and a small glass paperweight from Mrs Wood. And then there was Luke’s gift.

  She had opened the small box carefully, aware that they were all watching intently. It was so obviously a jeweller’s box, and men didn’t give women jewellers’ boxes unless their intentions were honourable. She could read their thoughts so well at that moment.

  “Open it, our Kate. Is it a ring or summat?” Aileen shouted excitedly.

  “If it is, he’ll have to marry her. Ivy Phillips said so,” Maura informed her.

  “Be quiet, child,” Alice said. “It means nothing of the sort, and I shall have words with Ivy Phillips’ mother if that’s the kind of nonsense she’s telling you.”

  Kate found herself praying that it wouldn’t be a ring. But of course it wouldn’t. Not unless Luke had decided to choose this way of giving her back the opal ring she had worn on their second Bournemouth holiday. Whatever her mother said to Maura she knew how badly it would look to them all.

  She opened the box carefully, and gave a sigh of relief as she saw the delicate filigree brooch inside in the shape of a little bird poised for flight. She knew the significance of it. He had often likened her to exactly that.

  “It’s very pretty,” Alice said, obviously disapproving. Jewellery of any kind between unmarried people was suspect in her eyes, and Kate told her airily it was all the rage in London now for professional people to give small trinkets of this kind to their staff.

  By the time the week at home was over, it was something of a relief to hear Father Mulheeney’s old car chugging up to the cottage, and to be able to say goodbye to them all. Kate knew it was sad that she should feel that way, when they were her family, but people moved on. Coming back here for the holidays had only proved to her how true that was.

  Once she was safely on the return train journey to London, her heart grew lighter with every mile it covered. As the train steamed into the station Kate saw Luke at once, before he saw her. It was always easier to pick someone out on the platform, than for them to find someone in the crowded, swaying carriages, with everyone opening the doors, eager to get out. She felt a searing pain of disappointment that he wasn’t alone, Doris and Faye were hanging onto each arm.

  She told herself not to be stupid. It was sweet of them to want to meet her and welcome her back, especially as they hadn’t had the chance of going home themselves. But she couldn’t help feeling less than charitable towards them. Surely they might have guessed that she wanted Luke all to herself, she thought belligerently. But then, why should they? After all, he didn’t belong to her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  It was late afternoon when the train arrived at Paddington, and they all felt the usual strangeness people did after a week apart. But the feeling was quickly dispelled, and she realised that the main object of Doris and Faye’s wish to meet her had been for the ride in Luke’s Bentley. However, they were relegated to the back seat, while Kate sat in the front with Luke, and they breathed down her neck all the way back to Jubilee Terrace.

  “So did you have a nice Christmas among all the hayseeds, Kate?” Doris asked, giggling.

  “Very nice, thank you,” she said, not rising to the bait. “And I daresay you did too.”

  “I’ll say we did! We got Luke under the mistletoe so many times, it’s a wonder his mouth’s not permanently swollen,” Faye squealed.

  “Shut up, you two, or Kate will wonder what on earth went on at Mrs Wood’s” Luke said with a grin. “It was all very proper, I assure you, Kate, and they’re just having you on.”

  “I’m sure it doesn’t matter to me,” she said, wishing their banter didn’t make her feel as old as Methuselah.

  They were both so bright and breezy, and Luke seemed to be egging them on, despite what he said. She was desperately tired after a train journey with so many stops and starts that she wondered if they would ever reach their destination. All she wanted now was sleep, and that was no way for a twenty-one-year-old to feel.

  “Have you done any work since I went away, Luke?” she asked, wanting to bring herself into his world.

  “Some,” he nodded, keeping his eyes on the traffic ahead. “If you feel up to it when you’ve had a meal this eve
ning, I’d like to show you the new material I’ve been working on.”

  “Oh, let me and Faye come as well!” Doris said eagerly. “You never let us into that studio of yours, Luke.”

  “That’s because Kate and I go there to work, not to idle the days away. If you want to pay for a portrait sitting, that would be a different matter, of course.”

  “At your prices? We’re not made of money. Not unless you’re offering us a discount, that is,” she added hopefully.

  “Sorry, no can do,” he said, and Kate breathed more easily. It was bad enough they were here, filling the Bentley with their cloyingly cheap scent; the last place she wanted them was at the studio, which she felt as proprietary over as Luke himself.

  She didn’t answer Luke about going there that evening. She knew what the new material was, and she was dying to see the new portfolio which he was going to show to one of the major postcard printers in the city.

  Once they were all back at Jubilee Terrace the girls disappeared, and Mrs Wood insisted on Kate eating a huge plate of meat and potatoes. After she had protested at the amount, and eaten what she could, Mrs Wood wanted to know every detail of how people celebrated Christmas in the country.

  “Pretty much the same as you did here, I daresay,” Kate said with a laugh. “We ate too much food, and the men drank too much ale, and we told ghost stories on Christmas Eve, and went to midnight mass.”

  She paused, because what swept into her mind then was gazing up at the night sky and the moment she had known for certain how much she loved Luke Halliday. And if she dared to look at him now, she was afraid he might see the truth of it mirrored in her eyes.

  “It sounds as if you’ve got a lovely family,” Mrs Wood said approvingly. “But I already know that, from the way your Pa and brother came to see that you were all right.”

  “And you all had a good time over Christmas here, from what Doris and Faye were saying.”

  “Those two!” Mrs Wood said disapprovingly. “Chasing Lukey all around the place with their bits of mistletoe!”

  “And catching him, I’ll bet,” Kate forced herself to say.

  “Only when he wanted to be caught,” Mrs Wood said slyly, “and that wasn’t very often.”

  “If you two have quite finished discussing my amorous encounters, Kate and I want to go to the studio to look over some work,” Luke put in.

  “But the girl’s only just got back. Give her a breathing space, for pity’s sake.”

  “Oh, don’t bother about that, Mrs Wood,” Kate said quickly. “I love Christmas, but once it’s over I’m always glad to be back to normal again. But before we go, I have to give you some carrots and Brussels that my father promised you.”

  “So he remembered!” the landlady said, pink with delight. “It’ll be fresh veggies tomorrow then.”

  They left her admiring the size and colour of the Somerset produce, and drove off to the studio. Luke glanced at Kate as she snuggled into her coat beside him.

  “Did you mean what you said about wanting to get back to normal again, or was it just an excuse to get away from the inmates of Jubilee Terrace?”

  Kate laughed. If there was any excuse in her mind at all, it was to be with Luke, but she wasn’t telling him that!

  “If you mean am I always glad when Christmas is over, in a way I am. I love being with the family, but there’s still an enforced jolliness about it all. It probably makes me sound a grouch, but I think I prefer everyday normality.”

  “You could never be called a grouch, sweetheart, but I’m not so sure about preferring normality. If all our plans come to fruition, I’d say life could get very exciting.”

  “But that’s different. That’s a normality we’re both involved in.”

  She could hear the smile in his voice as he answered.

  “Hearing you link us together like that is just about the best Christmas present anybody ever gave me, Katie.”

  “It doesn’t take very much to please you, then,” she laughed uneasily.

  “I wouldn’t say that, but it’ll do for now,” Luke said.

  They pulled up outside the darkened interior of the studio, and Luke told her to stay where he was until he opened the door for her, since the roads were quite icy now. He gave her his arm, and they went inside the studio together.

  The blinds were drawn down, but before he even turned on any gaslights, Luke pulled her into his arms.

  “God, but I’ve missed you,” he said simply. “This past week has seemed like years, Kate. And I’ll agree with you in one thing. If you can’t spend Christmas with the one you want to be with the most, it’s just not Christmas.”

  “I don’t remember saying that,” she murmured.

  “But I did.”

  Luke kissed her with unrestrained passion, and she kissed him back.

  When they broke apart she spoke shakily, not trusting the depth of her own feelings. “I thought we were here to look over some work.”

  “Is that what you want to do?” he said, demanding.

  “Whether I want to or not, I think it’s what we should do,” Kate said. “I shouldn’t stay out too long, either, Luke. I really am tired from the journey, and I need a good night’s sleep before starting work properly tomorrow.”

  She listened to herself, sounding more like an old woman who couldn’t cope with a train journey than a young and nubile woman alone with her lover – she flinched at the word. Luke wasn’t her lover, not yet, and maybe not ever.

  He sensed her mental withdrawal, and gave a small sigh.

  “You win. But we’re not starting tomorrow. It’ll be New Year’s Eve, for God’s sake, and then it’ll be the start of the weekend. If a man with a successful business can’t give himself and his assistant some time off when it pleases him, what’s the point of working at all? We’ll start again in earnest on Monday, Kate. But come through to the back room and take a look at the portfolio. I’ve set up a couple of special appointments for next week, by the way.”

  “So soon!”

  “Of course. We don’t want other photographers to hit on the same idea, do we, and get in before us?”

  It hadn’t occurred to Kate that they might, and she knew it would be a real body blow to Luke if that happened. She followed him through to the back room, and saw the large portfolio on the desk. Her interest quickened, knowing he would want to display some of the best of her poses. She was eager to see them and she sat beside him as he opened the folder.

  “I hadn’t expected you to do this!” she exclaimed.

  “It seemed the obvious way, in order to get my point across. I’ve had some new thoughts since last week, Kate,” he said, and she could hear the underlying excitement in his voice. She could sense that there was more to come.

  The photos he’d already taken of her were already reduced to postcard size instead of the usual portrait-sized ones the clients paid for. It didn’t detract anything from the poses, and even Kate could see the attraction for folk who wanted to send something different from the usual seaside or country scenes. Though why anyone would want pictures of an unknown girl…

  “Do you think it will work?” she said at last, struck by doubts again, and trying not to let Luke see it.

  “This will be no more than a novelty,” Luke agreed, to her surprise. “I wrote to my old buddy a while ago to ask him to send me any more postcards of a similar type, and the package arrived this week. It was a real eye-opener, Kate. What sells is not only glamour, but advertising.”

  “Advertising?”

  “It’s becoming big business in America, and it’s the way of the future. Here, take a look at these.”

  He pulled out a large envelope from one of the desk drawers, and spilled the contents out in front of her. There were several dozen postcards inside, some portraying a new face cream that was supposed to transform the skin into satin, but the majority of them depicted new makes of cars or motorcycles with a few lines of basic statistics printed on the reverse side of the cards.


  “Do you see? Such postcards are printed in their thousands, Kate. Now, here’s my idea. Imagine the same cards with a woman’s face included. For instance, try to see Kate Sullivan lounging against the bonnet of a new Rover, or Kate Sullivan’s smiling face above a bar of soap, or any other commodity!”

  She wasn’t slow to grasp what he was saying, but when she didn’t speak he went on enthusiastically.

  “What we have to do first of all is sell the idea, and provide the photos for the original cards, like the ones in the portfolio. Once we’ve got a printer interested, we can contact motor manufacturers and other companies, and present them with the idea of increasing their advertising potential.”

  The magnitude of the idea took Kate’s breath away and she couldn’t think sensibly for a moment. She stared at the various postcards.

  “Have you had any kind of Christmas break at all?” she said at last. “Or have you spent the entire week dreaming up all this?”

  “I’ve spent a lot of time dreaming,” he said, “and not just about work, Katie. But you’re right. I’ve also been preparing the way, and this is the result.”

  He turned to the back of the portfolio, where there were half a dozen different postcard samples. Somehow Luke had superimposed her poses onto the advertising cards. Just as he had suggested, there were several of her with a new bar of soap, but far more of her in full-length poses standing beside the newest motor cars. It certainly enhanced the glamour of it all, she thought, if glamour was what people wanted.

  “How on earth did you produce these?”

  “With a lot of headaches and re-photographing and sleepless nights,” he said. “But these are only suggestions of course. We’d need to get backing from the commercial firms concerned otherwise the question of copyright would come into it, and I’ve no wish to have a law suit on my hands. But these cards would appeal to a vast range of people, including collectors, and with the manufacturers to commission us, we could make a fortune.”