The Last White Knight

by Tami Hoag

  Lynn went into his arms without a word, nestling her head against the hollow of his shoulder. “Unforgettable” drifted like smoke through the window screens. Erik held her close and they swayed together, shuffling in a lazy circle around the deck. A wonderful, silvery shiver went through her as he lowered his head and brushed his lips against the side of her neck. She snuggled into his embrace and tilted her head to the side, offering her throat for him to nibble and kiss. Then his mouth found hers and she sighed and melted against him.

  The music might have ended or it might have played on. Lynn ceased to be aware of it. All her senses focused on the man in her arms. He kissed her with deep, provocative strokes of his tongue, his big hands sliding down her back and pressing her closer. The scent of him filled her nostrils—warm, clean, male—awakening something basic and utterly feminine inside her. She wanted him. In a way she couldn’t quite remember wanting a man ever before, she wanted Erik Gunther. The idea frightened her a little. She couldn’t afford to let him get too close, couldn’t afford to need him too much. But that need was swelling and throbbing inside her, demanding to be assuaged, overtaking her other emotions and swallowing them up.

  “I need you, Lynn.” His whisper came to her through the mists of the sensual spell that was weaving itself around them. “I want you.”

  “Yes,” she murmured, her lips brushing the hard plane of his jaw. She kissed his cheek, kissed his throat. Sliding one hand up between them, she loosened the knot in his tie and undid the top button of his shirt. Slowly she pressed her mouth against the hollow at the V of his collarbone, kissing him deeply, caressing the tender flesh with the tip of her tongue and feeling his pulse race just beneath the surface. A deep moan rumbled up from the depths of his chest, and she felt it vibrate against her even before she heard the sound.

  Erik slid his hands into her hair, sending her combs clattering to the deck and setting her mane free to fall in waves over his wrists and forearms. Tilting her head back, he looked into her face, his expression taut, intense, his eyes as bright as blue flames, burning with the heat of his desire. He lowered his mouth to hers for a kiss that was hot and urgent, and Lynn responded with equal need. She clung to him, pressed herself to him, shuddered against him as he bent her back over his arm. Then he was lifting her, carrying her.

  He crossed the deck in three long strides and shouldered open the sliding glass door that led to his bedroom. The room was cast in wedges of shadow and pale moonlight, the bed a vast expanse of dark and light. Lynn took in only impressions of the room—the feel of the thick beige carpet under her stockinged feet as Erik set her down, the sense of neatness, the masculine lines of the furniture. With her attention riveted on Erik, there was no time to take in the decor or try to discern anything from it about the man who lived in this room.

  He stood at the foot of the bed, his eyes locked on hers as he yanked his tie free and lifted a hand to the buttons of his shirt. Mirroring his actions, Lynn’s hands lifted and settled on the top button of her dress, sliding the mother-of-pearl disk from its mooring and moving slowly down to the next one. When she reached the last button above her belt, Erik put his hands on her wrists.

  “Let me,” he said.

  He hooked his thumbs inside the placket of the dress and slowly slid the bodice off her shoulders. Lynn attempted to raise her arms to do the same to him, but she found herself caught. As she started to try to slide one arm free of the dress, Erik stopped her again.

  “Not yet,” he murmured. “There’s plenty of time. All night … forever …”

  He lifted his hands to cup her breasts, stroking her through her sheer, silky bra. She stood perfectly still for his examination, though her breath fluttered in and out of her lungs in shallow, stuttering gasps. He kneaded and caressed, squeezed gently, relishing the size and shape of her with his fingers. Her breasts were small but plump, filling his hands perfectly. Nipples strained against the fabric of her bra, begging for his attention.

  Erik slid his thumbs inside the cups and inched the fabric aside, baring her to his gaze. He was struck again by the word “beautiful,” and another tremor of desire rocked through his aching body as he rubbed the pads of his thumbs across the distended peaks of her nipples.

  That very same passion seared Lynn to her core. She arched into his touch and tried once more to reach for him, only to be stopped again by the silken bonds of her dress. A frustrated whimper escaped her.

  “Erik, please …”

  He dropped his mouth to hers as he helped her free herself, and groaned when her small, cool hands slid up the muscled ridges of his back. The next thing Lynn knew, the bed was beneath her and Erik was settling himself atop her, kneeing her thighs apart to fit himself intimately against her. His shirt and tie were gone, abandoned somewhere along the way. The moonlight cast him in sharp relief—silvered muscle and velvet dark shadow, light eyes and a mouth gleaming from their kisses. She stared up at him, heart racing.

  “It’s been a long time for me,” she said quietly, not sure why she felt so compelled to tell him. It would have been better to let him think she did this kind of thing on a regular basis. It would have been better not to let him know this was special. But the need to tell him was there almost as strongly as the need to take him inside her.

  Erik gazed down at her, silent for a long moment as he weighed her words and their import. “Good,” he whispered at last. “I’m glad you waited for me.”

  “I haven’t been waiting forever.”

  He smiled that wise little smile and shook his head. “This is the first time. Our first time. That’s all that counts.”

  Lynn couldn’t stop the tears that sprang up at his words. She felt so old, so battered and worn next to Erik, the white knight, the good man. And he would have her feel clean and young and pure all over again, as if the past had never happened, as if his goodness could somehow heal the sins of her youth.

  Foolishness, the cynical voice inside her sneered. He was just a man and this would be just sex. Nothing she hadn’t encountered before. But the voice couldn’t stop the wave of fear that told her this would be something special, that once they had crossed this threshold there would be no going back.

  “It’s all right,” Erik said softly. Tenderly, he kissed a stray tear from the outer corner of her eye. “It’s so right, honey.”

  Lynn closed her eyes and surrendered herself to feeling, shutting out the doubts. She stroked her hands through Erik’s hair as he kissed his way to her breast. She gasped and arched up as he took her nipple into his mouth. She concentrated on the incredible surge of sensation, the swirling, fiery rush of excitement that claimed her body. His mouth was hot and avid, drawing on her, tugging insistently, his tongue rasping gently against her sensitive point.

  Then he was trailing kisses downward, in the dip between her rib cage, over her belly. Fingers fumbling, he dispensed with her belt and worked free the remaining buttons of her dress. Her panty hose presented a challenge that had him both cursing and chuckling, drawing a few giggles from Lynn as she tried to work her legs clear of the tangle. When they finally came free, Erik slingshot the hose across the room and launched himself back up on the bed, grinning as he landed beside her.

  “That’s what I want,” he said, stroking her hair away from her cheek as he snuggled in next to her. “To see you happy.” He lowered his head and nipped at her lush lower lip, then kissed where he’d bitten. His voice dropped a husky notch as he looked her in the eyes again. “To make you happy.”

  Lynn managed a wry smile. “I think you’ll have to take your pants off for that.”

  He complied without hesitation, tossing his slacks and shorts aside and returning to her, gloriously, unself-consciously naked. He had a beautiful body—athletic, well-proportioned, well-endowed. Lynn shivered with hunger as he settled in beside her. She couldn’t stop herself from touching him. He was beautiful—sleek and male. She stroked her hands over his body, reveling in all of those aspects of him.

/>   He lay back and allowed her the freedom to explore, quivering when she touched a ticklish spot, groaning when she lingered on a sensitive area. He sucked in a breath through his teeth when her fingers closed around his erection and she began stroking him. He was hard, hot, and pulsing in her hand, the tip of him as soft as velvet as she rubbed her thumb across it. She thought of how he would feel inside her and a tremor of need shook her.

  Lynn let out a little yelp of surprise as Erik reversed their positions, tumbling her onto her back. He loomed over her, looking intense and predatory.

  “My turn,” he said, sliding one hand across her thigh to the delta of ebony curls that hid her most feminine secrets.

  Of their own volition, her hips lifted off the bed as Erik’s fingers deftly parted the swollen petals and eased into her warmth. She groaned as he tested the depth of her readiness, sliding two fingers deep while his thumb found her most sensitive flesh and brushed tantalizingly back and forth across the tiny kernel.

  Lynn struggled for control of the sensations tearing through her, wanting what Erik was giving her and fighting it at the same time. Her hips bucked against his hand, but she fought to hold back from the edge he was urging her toward.

  “Don’t fight it, Lynn,” he said in a hoarse, seductive whisper. “Let it happen.”

  “No.”

  “Come on, sweetheart, we’ve gone too far to stop now. Don’t hold back on me, Lynn.”

  “Erik, please … please …” She gasped for breath, squeezing her eyes shut as she strained against release. She felt too vulnerable, too alone, exposed in a way that had nothing to do with nakedness. She didn’t expect Erik to understand what she was feeling, didn’t really want him to know. But he seemed to sense it. He eased his hand away from her and positioned himself between her thighs, nudging her slick, hot, woman’s flesh gently as he bent his head to kiss her.

  “It’s all right, honey. I’ll be with you. We’ll go over that edge together.” He kissed her again, a slow, calming kiss that gradually slid from her mouth to her jaw to her ear. “Do I need protection, honey?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  “Hush. It’s all right.” Erik leaned over and rummaged through the drawer of the nightstand, telling himself he wasn’t disappointed. This was the nineties, after all; women weren’t inclined to go around having unprotected sex. He had always been conscientious about it himself. Still, he couldn’t seem to tamp down the raw desire to bury himself in the silken heat of Lynn’s body, with nothing to keep them apart, to prevent her from taking his seed. The sensation was nothing short of primitive, and it shook him a little as he tore open the foil package.

  It struck him again as he slid his hands beneath her hips and lifted her for his entry. He wanted to make her his in the oldest, most basic way possible. He’d never felt quite this way with a woman before, and as Lynn’s body closed tight and hot around him, he knew he’d never feel quite this way again.

  Lynn held her breath as Erik entered her in a single slow, pushing stroke. The sensation of being invaded, of being filled, was incredible. And as she looked up at him in the pale, silvery light, the sense of joining with another human being body and soul hit her with a force that sent her reeling.

  “Together,” he whispered as he lowered himself to her. Clasping hands with her, he stretched her arms above her head and began to move. “Together, Lynn.”

  They moved in unison, their bodies in perfect harmony. Erik rocked against her, reaching deep with every thrust, nearly withdrawing only to plunge into her again. Lynn arched up to meet him, taking every inch of him and feeling every stroke all the way to her heart. She felt beyond control, beyond holding back as the passion boiled inside her, building like a head of steam. She wanted him, wanted this, and for the first time in a long time she let herself go, unable to do anything but surrender herself totally. She pulled her hands free of his and wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him as the world shattered around her and desire shattered within her.

  “Erik! Oh, God, Erik!” she cried, more frightened than enraptured as wave after wave of physical ecstasy crashed over and through her.

  Erik was lost in his own sea of oblivion. He slid his arms around Lynn’s shoulders and clutched her to him as her body tightened around him in exquisite, mind-numbing spasms, sending him over the edge. He stiffened against her and cried out her name as he exploded within her.

  The fog gradually cleared from Erik’s mind as his breathing slowed. He realized belatedly that he was all but crushing Lynn in his embrace, and he gradually loosened his hold, easing her back to the mattress and sliding his arms out to brace himself above her. He tenderly brushed damp tendrils of hair back from her face as he took in her expression. She looked as stunned as he felt, taken by surprise by the all-consuming power of what had just passed between them.

  “It’s all right, sweetheart,” he whispered, his mouth curving in a gentle smile. “I love you.”

  He hadn’t thought it was possible to fall so hard so fast, but there was no doubt in his mind. He was in love with Lynn Shaw. He knew it with absolute certainty in every cell of his being. But the shadows that came into Lynn’s eyes told him she didn’t share his certainty.

  “You can’t,” she said, so softly he almost didn’t hear her.

  “I do.”

  “No.”

  Lynn wiggled out from under him and sat up, tugging the hunter-green bedspread across from the other side of the bed. She pulled it up around her and huddled against the smooth oak headboard, her knees drawn up to her chest, arms banded around them. In the wake of Erik’s admission, her heart was pounding almost as hard now as it had been at the peak of their lovemaking.

  She was caught. She had thought she would be able to get through this unscathed, untouched emotionally. She had told herself she could have this time with him because she knew better than to let her heart get involved. Who had she been kidding? She had connected with Erik the night they’d met and, despite her efforts to keep a distance, they had grown closer with each passing day and with every shared experience. Now she had joined with him physically and the heat in his eyes as he stared at her burned through her protective barriers and looked right into her soul.

  God, please don’t let him see that I love him.

  Life had an exceedingly cruel sense of irony. She’d finally found a man she could love and trust, the last white knight on earth, but she couldn’t allow herself to hang on to him because he was too good, too sterling. He had a record that was unblemished, a future that stretched bright and golden before him, while her past was tarnished and littered with trouble. She would ruin him. Just by touching him she would ruin him, just as she had ruined the lives of her family back in Indiana.

  Erik sat on the edge of the bed watching her struggle with some terrible inner demon. Despite her efforts to fight them off, tears rose up to gleam in her eyes. She pressed a hand against her mouth and turned her face away from him, averting her gaze as if she didn’t feel worthy of making that contact with him.

  “Why can’t I love you?” he asked gently, his look intent, taking in every nuance of her expression. She wasn’t rejecting him. Not in the true sense of the word. She was retreating from him. She was afraid.

  “You don’t even know me,” she said.

  “I know all I need to know to love you. I know you’re stubborn and beautiful, that you have an inner fire that lights up your eyes. I know you care about people, that you reach out to help them. You’re passionate and hot-tempered and good—”

  Lynn cut him off with a violent shake of her head. Shame rose up in her throat to choke her. She couldn’t sit there and listen to him extolling her virtues when she didn’t have any, couldn’t let him mistake penitence for goodness.

  She started to move for the other side of the bed, intending to get up. Erik caught her by the arms in a grip that was gentle but unyielding. He turned her shoulders toward him, but she still refused to look at him.

  “Why are
you afraid to have me love you, Lynn?” he asked. “Why are you afraid to let me get that close?”

  “It’s too soon,” she hedged, desperately wishing for a way out of this situation and fatalistically knowing there wasn’t one.

  “It’s not,” Erik insisted. “There’s been something between us from the night we met. Don’t try to tell me you haven’t felt it too. You wouldn’t have gone to bed with me if you didn’t.”

  “How do you know that?” Lynn snapped, falling back on her old friend, belligerence. She raised her head and glared at him, ignoring the teardrop that had run down her cheek and was clinging defiantly to her chin. “You’re a good-looking man, Senator. Don’t try to tell me you’ve never had a woman want you for your body.”

  Anger flared in Erik’s eyes. His fingers tightened on Lynn’s upper arms. “Don’t you dare try to tell me this is just sex. You’re as tight as a virgin. You haven’t been to bed with a man since there was a Democrat in the White House. You don’t sleep around, Lynn, and you didn’t single me out because of the way my jeans fit.”

  She narrowed her eyes, and another pair of tears went up and over the barrier of her lashes. “You don’t know anything.”

  “I know I love you!” he shouted.

  “How can you love me?” she shouted back. “You don’t even know my name!”

  Her words seemed to chill the very air around them. Everything went still. Erik stared at Lynn, his heart pounding, his mind momentarily befuddled by her words. Didn’t know her name? It made no sense, and yet the look of horror in her eyes suggested she’d just let slip a terrible truth.

  “What are you saying?” he asked, not altogether certain he wanted to hear the answer.

  Lynn took advantage of his shock to pull herself free of his grasp. This time she did scramble from the bed and went in search of her clothing.

  “Nothing,” she murmured. Picking her crumpled dress up from the floor, she shrugged into it and started fastening the buttons, her fingers fumbling hopelessly over the smooth mother-of-pearl disks. “Let’s just say this isn’t going to work and call it a night.”