Sven Carter & the Android Army

by Rob Vlock

  As I ascended, my spirits rose too. I felt like twenty tons of weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Shallix was gone! His android army was destroyed!

  A laugh bubbled out of my mouth. I couldn’t stop myself. “Yes!” I screamed into the smoke-streaked sky. “We did it!”

  The platform ground to a halt at the seventy-fifth floor. I vaulted over the railing and landed with a crunch on the glass-strewn floor of the office. Fallen cactus men were everywhere. Ivy and Dix were helping Will to his feet. Thor eyed me cautiously. Yuki was sitting next to a still-unconscious Mitsuo, holding his limp hand in both of hers.

  And Alicia? With a yelp of relief, she raced over and flung her arms around me. “Sven! Are you okay? When you went out that window, I thought I’d never see you again!”

  “I’m okay. A little bruised, I guess. But okay.”

  “Good!” she replied. “Because I think we . . .”

  The strength suddenly went out of her body, and she crumpled to the floor.

  “Alicia!” I cried. I grabbed her arm to check for a pulse when I froze.

  There, on the inside of her pale wrist, a little drop of blood. A pinprick.

  My stomach turned inside out as I realized what had happened. The nanobots! She must have pricked herself when she dragged the cactus man over the edge to save me! “Guys! I need help!”

  Junkman Sam rushed over, and I showed him the tiny puncture wound. “Sam, what do we do?”

  He ran a hand through his tangled hair. “I . . . I don’t know if there’s anything we can do, Sven. If the nanobots are already at work inside her; I know of no way to get them out. She’s . . . she’s dying.”

  CHAPTER 44.0:

  < value= [The Nanobot Is a Brat] >

  THE WORLD DISTORTED AROUND ME, twisting and turning like I was viewing it through some kind of kaleidoscope.

  “Can’t we get them out of her, Sam?” I pleaded. “There has to be a way!”

  He shook his head. “They’re the size of red blood cells. How would we even find them?”

  A tear traced its way down my cheek. We were going to lose her.

  Unless . . .

  “Yuki!” I shouted as a desperate plan formed in my head. “You can control machines! You can stop them!”

  The girl looked up from where she sat cradling her brother’s head. “I can’t. Without Mi . . . I could make the connection, but Mi’s the one who provides the code.”

  “You have to try!” I insisted. “You have to!”

  I raced over and grabbed her hand, leading her back to where Alicia lay.

  But Yuki shook her head. “Without someone to give the nanobots instructions, it’s pointless. I wish I could do it myself.”

  “I’ll do it, then!” I cried, my voice shaking with despair. “I’ve interfaced with Ticks before! I can do it in your brother’s place!”

  Sam squatted down next to me, stroking the wiry stubble on his chin. “A wireless interface with the nanobots inside Alicia’s body? It might work. Assuming whatever command protocols they follow are structured like the Ticks that built them. But I’m not sure it’s a good idea, Sven.”

  I blinked at him. “Why not?”

  “Because if the connection with Yuki gets broken, you . . . your mind . . . could get trapped inside a nanobot with no way out.”

  “I don’t care. I’m doing it. Yuki . . .” I put Alicia’s hand in hers. “Can you connect?”

  Yuki closed her eyes. Seconds passed, then she nodded. “I found them. There are thousands of them. Tens of thousands, maybe. They seem to be coded to follow some sort of swarm behavior. I think if you can get one to stop doing what it’s doing, the others will all follow suit. Like a school of fish all changing direction at once.”

  “Great,” I said with a grim nod. “That sounds easy enough.”

  Somehow, I knew it wouldn’t be. Will put his hand gently on my shoulder. “Dude, are you sure you want to do this? If you don’t come back out . . .”

  “I’ll come back out,” I assured him. “I promise. Yuki? Are we ready?”

  She nodded nervously. “Be careful, Sven.”

  I reached out and grabbed her other hand.

  With an intense white flash, the scene around me evaporated.

  * * *

  I found myself in a small room with no windows or doors. It was painted a warm yellow and was decorated with posters of ponies, teddy bears, and purple elephants. I froze as my gaze fell on a small bookcase that had a picture of Dr. Shallix propped on top, displayed in a colorful frame that read DADDY at the bottom.

  And there, sitting in the middle of the room, happily humming, was a little boy sitting in a small chair with his hands on a pair of control sticks. He looked to be about three years old, with strange white hair that poked straight up from his too-big head.

  He pushed and pulled the sticks in a seemingly random pattern.

  In front of him was a display that was covered in 1s and 0s—binary code that I couldn’t understand whatsoever. But at the bottom of the screen were words that I did understand. And they made my heart almost stop.

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 34%

  As I watched, the number dropped.

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 33%

  All that was left of Alicia’s brain!

  “Hey! Stop!” I shouted at the little boy. “You’re killing her!”

  When he turned to look at me, my heart nearly froze. This nanobot was a toddler version of Dr. Shallix.

  “Go away,” he snapped. “I’m playing.” He turned back to the screen.

  “No! You have to stop!” I grabbed his shoulder and tried to pull him away from the controls.

  As soon as I touched him, an electric shock sent me flying across the room. Some kind of defense measure, I guessed. I may have just been a digital representation of myself inside a machine the size of a blood cell, but it hurt like heck when I slammed into the wall behind me.

  “I said I’m playing.” He didn’t even bother looking at me.

  How could I stop him? Trying to physically remove him from the controls obviously wasn’t going to work. I had to somehow get him to reverse the damage he had done without touching him. But what could I say to a three-year-old to get him to behave?

  I cleared my throat and put on my most parental voice. “Excuse me, young man! You’ve made quite a mess of this brain! I expect you to clean it up this instant!”

  “I don’t wanna!” he countered. “I’m playing!”

  I frowned. “If you don’t clean it up this second, you’re going to be in big trouble!”

  A wail erupted from the boy. “I don’t wanna! I’m playing!”

  I scanned the room. There wasn’t much there besides the bookshelf, a little bed, and the posters on the walls.

  “Hey, I have an idea,” I told him. “Would you like to hear a story?”

  His hands stopped moving for the briefest instant. “I like stories!”

  “Great!” I grabbed a book from the bookshelf and flipped it open. My heart sank. It was written in all 1s and 0s. I let it slip from my grasp onto the floor, where it landed with a dull thud.

  The display in front of the boy now read:

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 29%

  “Where’s my story?” the boy asked angrily. His hands pulled ferociously at the controls.

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 27%

  If I didn’t do something fast, Alicia wouldn’t have a brain left at all!

  CHAPTER 45.0:

  < value= [Clean Up, Clean Up, Everybody, Everywhere] >

  “WHERE’S MY STORY?” HE SCREAMED. He yanked the sticks like he was trying to tear them out of the wall in a full-blown temper tantrum.

  “Uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . ,” I stammered.

  I was going to have to make something up.

  “Um, this one is called . . . uh, the Nanobot Who Became an Awesome Evil Scientist–bot.”

  “Ooh!” he enthused. “I like evil scientist–bots!”

  I gla
nced at the display.

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 24%

  Then I continued. “Once upon a time, there was a little nanobot named . . . What’s your name?”

  “G-T4389W4B,” he replied happily.

  “Well, G-T4389W4B happened to be this little nanobot’s name too! But one day, this little nanobot was sad.”

  The boy looked at me with concern.

  “He was sad because more than anything, he wanted to be a real live evil scientist–bot. With a whole laboratory full of all kinds of evil equipment that would help him take over the world so . . . um, he could be the happiest evil scientist–bot in the world. But no matter how hard he wished, he never turned into an evil scientist–bot.”

  “What did he do?” the boy asked.

  “Well, one night when he was getting ready for bed, a magical fairy godmother-bot came to him and said, ‘Hi, G-T4389W4B. I’m your fairy godmother–bot. And I can make you into an evil scientist–bot. But you have to do something for me first.’ ”

  The boy was on the edge of his seat. “What’d he have to do?”

  I smiled at him and went on. “The fairy godmother–bot looked at little G-T4389W4B and told him, ‘What you need to do is clean up all the messy brain cells you’ve left all over the place. Because everyone knows that the magic that changes nanobots into evil scientist–bots only works on nanobots who keep their brains nice and tidy and as good as new.’ So, you know what happened next?”

  He shrugged. “What happened next?”

  “The little nanobot did just what the fairy godmother–bot said. He took the brain cells he had left lying around and cleaned them all up, putting them back just where they belonged so the brain was nice and tidy and as good as new. And then little G-T4389W4B went to sleep. And when he woke up, he was the happiest evil scientist–bot in the whole wide world! The end.”

  For several seconds, the boy stared at me uncertainly. Then he spoke in a quiet little voice, “Is . . . is that a true story?”

  I nodded.

  He furrowed his brow. Finally, he spoke again. “I think I should probably clean up my brain.”

  He turned back to the controls and began moving them delicately back and forth. While he did, he sang quietly. “Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere. Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share.”

  I looked at the display on the wall.

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 35%

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 47%

  HUMAN BRAIN INTEGRITY: 61%

  It was working! The nanobots were putting Alicia’s brain back together again!

  “Yuki!” I cried. “I did it! I’m ready to come back now!”

  I laughed aloud as the little boy and his room disappeared in a flash of white light. I thought I could just hear his voice calling after me.

  “Bye! Thanks for the story!”

  * * *

  “Sven!” Will was hovering over me as I opened my eyes. “What happened? Are you okay?”

  I was back! I sat up with a massive grin on my face. “Everything’s great!” I told him.

  “Then why isn’t Alicia awake?” Dix said with more than a hint of concern.

  My smile faded. I turned to Alicia. Yuki was still holding her hand, but there was no sign of movement. Her pale face looked like a mask.

  Ivy leaned over Alicia, tears streaming from her eyes. “Come on! Please get up! Please be okay!”

  Mitsuo yawned loudly and stretched. “What’s up, guys? I had the weirdest dream. We were surrounded by . . .” He trailed off as he noticed that he was sitting in a ruined office strewn with the motionless bodies of dudes with cactus hands. “Oh . . . right. Hey, what’s wrong with Alicia?”

  “Mitsuo!” I cried, seeing he was awake. “Come here! I think her brain is scrambled. Maybe you can help her!”

  He shook his head. “Dude, I’m a coder. I don’t do wetware. You have a problem in the meatspace, you need a doctor.”

  Thor trotted over and whimpered quietly, nuzzling my hand.

  I looked up at Sam. I knew there was no point in asking if he could help. She was gone.

  I buried my face in my hands.

  And then I heard a voice. Alicia’s voice.

  “What’s . . . what’s happening?”

  “Alicia! You’re okay! You are okay, right?”

  She scrunched up her eyebrows at me. “Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Because your brain was soup,” Ivy informed her. “Which might have been an improvement, actually. But I’m still glad to have you back!” She threw her arms around Alicia and gave her a tight squeeze.

  I helped Alicia to her feet.

  “Sven . . . ,” she whispered with a warm smile that melted the vise that had clamped down on my heart. “Thanks.”

  Until Will raised his hand as if he were in class. “Um . . . sorry to interrupt. But I have a question. Can we go home now?”

  We all laughed in assent.

  Except for Alicia. She turned her head, fixed Will with an unblinking stare, and said, “Indeed. It will be quite a relief to get back home to Schenectady, yes?”

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  OPENING THEME SONG

  Oooh, can you feel the acknowledgments in the air?

  Join us for a laugh and some emotional fare.

  You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wet your bed.

  If you don’t, well, you must be dead.

  It’s the Acknowledgments Show! Oooooh!

  FADE IN

  INT. BING COLLECTIVE FLESH SAC–DAY

  ROB VLOCK, author of Sven Carter & the Android Army, is rummaging around the nasal passages of the flesh sac, looking under couch cushions, inside drawers, among the nose hairs that line the walls and ceiling.

  ROB: Where is it? Ugh! This is so frustrating!

  Bing 808 enters from the bathroom, holding a roll of toilet paper in one of his many arms.

  (Cue applause)

  808: Dude, you put the toilet paper on backward again! If I knew you were one of those weirdos who prefers an underhand TP orientation, I never would have invited you to be my roommate.

  808 notices Rob reaching under the couch.

  808: What’re you doing?

  ROB: I lost my acknowledgments! I know I put them here somewhere!

  808: Maybe you put them the same place you put your hair.

  (Cue laughter)

  ROB: This is important! Those acknowledgments are due to my publisher today! They thank my friends who helped me make this book.

  808: Friends, huh? No wonder you can’t find it. Must be a pretty small piece of paper.

  (Cue laughter)

  ROB (OFFENDED): Hey! I have friends!

  808: Imaginary ones don’t count.

  (Cue laughter)

  ROB: There’s nothing imaginary about them!

  808: Really?

  ROB: Yes! There are my editors, Amy Cloud and Tricia Lin at Aladdin. They’re amazing! Without them, this book wouldn’t even exist.

  808: Amy Cloud? Sure sounds like an imaginary friend to me.

  ROB: Well, she’s not! And neither is Steve Scott. He did the gorgeous illustration that’s on the front of this book. And Karin Paprocki, who designed the cover. There’s Janet Robbins Rosenberg and Crystal Velasquez and Rebecca Vitkus and Sara Berko—they were part of the team too. I definitely have to thank them! And I could never forget my superstar agent, John Rudolph! He rocks!

  808: Blubber!

  (Cue laughter)

  ROB: What?

  808: (holds up newspaper) Oh, sorry. I was just doing the crossword. Seven-letter word for whale fat. “Blubber.”

  (Cue laughter)

  808: Now, were you saying something?

  ROB: Yes! I was telling you about all the people I need to thank for helping me make this book! Like my critique partner, the super-talented Erin Cashman. And the members of my writing group: Diana Renn, Ted Rooney, Deborah Vlock, Julie Wu, Greg Lewis, Pat Gabridge—I’m so lucky to have them as readers
. And speaking of readers, I really want to thank all the kids who have read the Sven Carter books. And the teachers and librarians out there who are teaching their students to love reading! And . . .

  Rob notices 808 is gone.

  ROB: 808? Hey, 808? Where’d you go?

  808 walks in from the other room, wearing a tight twelve-legged pair of jeans.

  808: Do these pants make my posterior body segments look big?

  (Cue laughter)

  ROB: Well, let’s just say they make your anterior segments look small in comparison.

  Rob waits for the laugh track. There’s nothing but silence.

  808: Dude, leave the comedy to me.

  (Cue laughter)

  808: See?

  ROB: Whatever. Are you going to help me find those acknowledgments or not?

  808: I still don’t see what’s so important about your silly acknowledgments.

  ROB: Are you kidding? The acknowledgments are my opportunity to thank my parents for all their love and support and for feeding me and stuff.

  808: Well, you definitely don’t need to thank them for your hairline.

  (Cue laughter)

  ROB (TEARILY): And . . . and . . . if I don’t find those acknowledgments, I’ll never be able to tell my wife, Joey, how much I love her. And my kids, Max and Immy . . . I . . . I wanted to tell them how proud I am of them. How they’re the whole reason I even bother writing books at all. If I don’t find my acknowledgments, I’ll just be heartbroken!

  (Cue laughter)

  ROB: Hey! That wasn’t supposed to be funny!

  808: Jeez, Rob. If they mean so much to you, sure, I’ll help you find them. Because . . . I love you, man.

  (Cue “aww,” then applause)

  808: Hey, what’s this?

  808 reaches over and pulls a scrap of paper from Rob’s back pocket.

  ROB: That’s them! You found them!

  Rob snatches the paper from 808. He looks at his watch.

  ROB: Oh, my gosh! I just have enough time to drive these over to my publisher! I’ve gotta get out of here!

  Rob pats his pockets, desperately looking for his car keys.

  ROB (FRANTICALLY): Oh, no! Have you seen my keys?

  (Cue laughter)

  FADE OUT