“Hey.” Catching sight of me, a tiny smile spread across his face, but his eyes didn’t match the sentiment. They seemed to be weighted down with the same sadness that laced his voice earlier.
It was peculiar seeing him struggle with maintaining a happy persona. Every time I’d been around him, he was always upbeat, greeting me with his boyish, grin that I’d grown to love. With the whole ordeal being over, I expected him to be in a better mood. Clearly that wasn’t the case. Brushing the worry aside, I offered to let him come inside, but he made no attempt to move. Somewhat puzzled by his aloofness, I noticed his car running in the driveway.
“Did you want to go somewhere?” I asked and then remembered he did say he’d pick me up. But he was so quiet; I’d ask anything to try getting him to communicate. What on earth was wrong with him?
With a shrug, he finally spoke. “I’d thought we could go to the park and talk.” Glancing toward Mr. Barton’s house, his eyes slanted into an evil glare. “I just need to get out of here.”
“Okay, let me grab my phone,” I said in a cheerful tone, trying to mask my concern.
As I went over to pick it up, I genuinely felt sorry for Barry. Still coming off my high from bringing Ryan home safely, and knowing that Johnny’s finally free, I’d neglected Barry’s feelings. I wanted to kick myself for being too insensitive. It had to be difficult for him every time he glanced at that house. Especially after learning that the entire time they searched for Johnny, he was in the house next door.
As I turned back toward him, I smiled tentatively as we walked toward his car.
~19~
Realizations
With the drive to the park short, our conversation was light. In fact, we hardly said anything at all. The only person talking was me, and all I asked was if the park was very big. With a nod, he replied, “It’s decent.” Without contributing anything else, worry began to set in.
When we pulled into the parking lot, Barry killed the engine. Sitting there for a second, he sucked in a breath, and let it out slowly. What the heck is going through his mind? The way he acted, I couldn’t tell what kind of mood he was in. He seemed…depressed. Hopefully, he’d open up to me soon because the silence was beginning to wear on me.
After I let myself out of the car, I walked around to where he was standing, waiting for me. When I rounded the quarter panel, he took off walking without me. I had to quicken my step in order to catch up with him.
That wasn’t like Barry. He’d always been considerate to me. Today, he was cold and distant, making me wonder if he wanted to break–up. One problem with that, though, we weren’t actually going together. In fact, we still haven’t been on an official date.
Maybe with all that happened, it was finally too much for him, and he wanted to disassociate himself from me. That had been a concern of mine from the very beginning. And who could blame him? I certainly couldn’t. Hanging around me wasn’t fun, there are too many issues. I admit, I wasn’t the easiest person to be around.
A lump formed in my throat at the possibility he brought me here to tell me good–bye.
As we continued walking along, my stomach knotted at the growing suspicion. Not only was the silence stifling, but his lack of physical contact also contributed to my worry. His hands were deep seated in his pockets, making no attempt to hold mine. Since my very first encounter with him, he’d always found some excuse to touch me. His absence of touch only heightened my nerves.
My joyful mood from earlier quickly faded away as suspicion and doubt crept in the further we walked beside each other. Tears threatened to surface, but I blinked them away. The last thing I would do was cry in front of him.
When we came across a perforated metal bench nestled under a maple tree, Barry went over and sat down. Before I joined him, I paused, examining his features. Staring straight ahead, his eyes were still a turmoil of thought. Unable to make out those thoughts, anger began to surface at his continued silence. If he wanted to end our friendship, he needed to get it over with.
Humoring him for now, I settled beside him. Refusing to be the first person to talk, I panned the area noticing for the first time how nice the park actually was. It was decent sized, offering plenty open areas for people to play, or whatever. The area we walked passed was the baseball fields, which were kept in decent shape. The playground was off to our left. There was a section dedicated for smaller children, but the equipment was older. Regardless, there were kids running around playing. Straight ahead were pavilions for family gatherings with trees spread across offering shade. This was a beautiful park. One I could’ve enjoyed more, if I wasn’t worrying about Barry.
Suppressing a sigh, I waited patiently for him to speak. My anger dissipated some, but nothing could tone down that rising anxiety. He’d speak when he was ready. I just needed to give him more time. The birds chirped in the background, along with the laughter from children playing. I tried utilizing those sounds to ease my apprehension, but nothing helped. The knot in my stomach kept growing as each second ticked by. Five grueling minutes passed before he finally spoke.
“Heather,” he said. “There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t know where to begin.”
“Why don’t you start by telling me what’s bothering you.” Afraid the answer was going to be me, I held my breath, waiting for him to speak.
His mouth slightly turned up. “That obvious, huh?”
“Something’s got you down. I just don’t know what, exactly,” I whispered, trying not to sound pathetic.
As he turned to look at me, his eyes softened. His hand reached over, grabbing a hold of mine. While intertwining our fingers together, there was no denying the sensation flowing between us. I couldn’t be the only one feeling it. I bit my lower lip in preparation for what he was going to say next.
The seriousness expressed across his face made my heart break. I wanted so badly to erase his pain. He continued focusing on me as he said, “You will never know how much I appreciate what you did. When Johnny disappeared, my “perfect” world was ripped apart. I learned at a very young age how vulnerable we all are, and I think it changed me.” With a drop of his head, he released my hand during the process. As he brought both his hands to his head, he groaned, “Tough lesson to learn, but an effective one.”
“Barry, I’m sorry this happened to you.”
As he shook his head in disgust, his voice raised saying, “I don’t want any sympathy…I’m not the one who suffered.”
He quickly closed his eyes, but not before I caught the sparkle of tears starting to well up.
I leaned toward him, placing my hand on his back. Gently rubbing him, I said, “Barry, don’t do this. You can’t blame yourself for being the one who survived.” I’d heard of survivor’s guilt before and wondered briefly if he was experiencing it.
Upon opening his eyes, he glanced at me before turning his head. I almost didn’t recognize him because his eyes were fiery. His pupils had dilated to fill his eyes with blackness, making me internally cringe. It killed me, seeing him hurt like that. “You know what makes me sick?” he growled. “That creep talked to me, telling me not to worry when he knew exactly where Johnny was the entire time.”
His left hand slammed into the bench as he yelled, “God! He was only six hundred feet away, stuck in some pit of a room.”
I moved my hand, placing it on his arm without saying a single word. Apparently, he needed to get that off his chest. All I could offer was my support.
After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again. “I really wish they’d killed him when they shot him.”
“Yeah…Me too,” I stated.
Turning back towards me, his voice cracked when he asked, “So, they have solid evidence against him with Ryan, right?”
“Yes, and I’m confident they’ll find something concrete to convict him for Johnny and maybe Christoper as well.”
“I sure hope so,” he whispered as he leaned closer to me. My pulse automatically quickened at
his proximity. My emotions were scattered by that point.
“Me too,” I whispered back.
He brought both of his hands up toward my face. As his lips touched mine, my body became inflamed. There was something different about that kiss. It wasn’t as gentle and passionate as the others, instead it seemed more demanding. As his lips were crushing onto mine, they moved fervently, wanting more from me. I felt his need through his lips, leaving no doubt in my mind that he still wanted to be with me. His hands slid across my shoulders, down my arms, sending an electrical jolt through my entire body. That desire I felt toward him was overwhelming.
He broke away, panting heavily. While resting his forehead on mine, he whispered, “Thanks.”
As I tried to control my own breathing, I mumbled a welcome even though I didn’t know exactly what he was thanking me for. It didn’t matter at that point, either. I was in the arms of the most wonderful guy I’d ever met and didn’t want that feeling to end.
He drew me close to him one last time, squeezing me. Placing a kiss on top of my head, he sighed before asking, “What happened after you left us last night?”
Proceeding to tell every detail that went on, I thought he was going to have another emotional outburst when I told him what Ryan’s father had said to me. It was apparent how upset he was, but I kept talking, letting him digest his anger on his own. When I got to the part about bringing Ryan home, it was hard explaining my emotions.
“Barry,” I said. “The expression on that little boy’s face when he saw his mother was the most endearing thing I’ve ever witnessed. When they embraced, I swear you could feel the love between them. It was exhilarating.”
“That would’ve been pretty awesome to see,” he said. Finally, a smile spread across his beautiful face. After sharing that story, his mood seemed to lift.
“Then, last night, I thought maybe I wouldn’t have any more dreams about Johnny, but I was wrong.”
His face scrunched together as if questioning my sanity. I was sure he wondered why I’d be excited to have another dream about Johnny. The words began flying out of my mouth so fast, it was hard slowing them down, but I knew once he heard the reasoning he’d feel better.
“Last night’s dream was totally different. Johnny appeared in front of me, but he seemed different this time. Like…he was in present form, not from the past. He had a certain glow about him too, which made it seem like he was happy.” Pausing for a second, I smiled at the thought before continuing. “He looked at me and smiled. Then he said ‘Thanks’ before he sort of drifted away.” Pausing again to reflect on the memory, the previous excitement I had felt came rushing back. “Barry, I really believe his soul is finally at rest.”
Barry smiled and turned away. He took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly before saying, “Thanks, I think I needed to hear that.”
I leaned over, giving him a quick hug. After a few minutes, we got up and started walking, holding each other’s hand. This was the way it should be, and I felt more confident walking beside him.
As we passed by the playground, I glanced again at their equipment. There were a couple of outdated slides that had been painted metallic silver, but the rust scabs still shone through the bottom. They were nothing spectacular, just a straight shot down, not offering any curves or bends. The swing set seemed all right, but there really wasn’t much more to offer the kids. Most parks by now have updated their equipment, but this town seemed to be lagging. Back in my hometown, the city park housed a newer playground complex. It was nice, made from colored steel and plastic. A thought occurred to me—I could use the reward to purchase new playground equipment! The more I thought about it, the better the idea sounded.
“Barry, I forgot to tell you.” I turned toward him as I stopped walking and then glanced back at the equipment. “Detective Tanner called my mom this morning and told her Johnny’s family had a reward for any information that led to finding their son, and they have offered it to me.”
His eyebrows raised in surprise. “How much is it for?” he asked.
“Fifteen thousand.”
“Fifteen thousand? Really? Wow, that’s a lot of money.”
“Yeah, I was thinking about donating it. See that equipment?” I said as I motioned my hands toward it. “It needs to be updated, and it’s something that kids will play on for a very long time.”
As I turned back at Barry, his face softened. Appreciation flitted across his features as he stared at me intently. I suddenly felt conscientious.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing, I just think you’re about the most selfless person I know. I admire that about you.”
I couldn’t hide the smile that broke out, as the heat began to rise in my cheeks, forcing me to turn away.
“It’s the right thing to do…That’s all,” I managed to mutter.
With a squeeze of my hand, he said, “That’s a very honorable thing to do.” With a glance back toward the playground, he added, “Maybe they can have some sort of plaque or something with Johnny’s name on it.”
“That’s a great idea.” I didn’t tell him I already thought about having a memorial for Johnny. Instead, I decided to let him think he came up with the idea. As I stood next to Barry, I pictured children playing on the new equipment. Goosebumps covered my arms at the thought, and I couldn’t wait to be able to get the process moving.
Turning back to me, he drew me in closer to him. “Now, Miss Heather Reiner, I do believe I still owe you a date,” he teased as he leaned down to give me a quick but gentle kiss.
“Yes, sir…I believe you’re right.” I said, still smiling up at him. Ready to leave, I started to walk away giving a slight tug to his hand. As we walked to his car, I knew things would be different from this point on. I didn’t want to dwell too much on it because I wanted to enjoy the moment for once. And besides, it felt nice walking beside him as the cool breeze hung in the air, hinting that the season would soon be changing.
~20~
Pep Talk
“So, where are you going?” Nicole asked.
“I’m not sure. He wants it to be a…surprise. I do know he’s taking me out to eat and then maybe to a movie. I just don’t know what restaurant we’re going too,” I answered as I rummaged through my closet for something to wear. Finally deciding on a light knit shirt that clung to my body, I pulled it from the hanger. While matching it with a pair of black pants, I decided there wasn’t anything wrong with wanting to show off my curves. Once dressed, I grabbed the multi–chained necklace that Nicole let me borrow a few days ago. “Nicole, wait a second,” I said, placing the phone down. I shimmied into the top and then hooked the necklace in place. With a glance at my ensemble, I mentally nodded in agreement.
Nicole had called while I was in the middle of getting ready for my date with Barry, but I was glad for the interruption. I was beginning to get anxious about our first real date, and she was helping to calm my nerves. After the past week, we’d became extremely close. She’d stuck by me through everything, and I was beginning to learn what a true friendship meant. Never having a friend like this before made me somewhat nervous, hoping I wouldn’t mess it up.
“I’m kind of excited, though,” I continued, replacing the phone back to my ear.
I was, too. After what seemed like an extremely long week at school, I was in for a much needed break. Although, going back to school wasn’t as hard as I originally thought it would be. I knew the first day back everyone would treat me differently, that was a given, but what surprised me was the differences in people’s reactions. Half expecting everyone to shy away from me—like what happened in Clayton—there were a few, but that was all.
Some people viewed me as some famous celebrity, which in truth made me feel the most uncomfortable. Never one to vie for attention, I certainly wasn’t used to receiving that kind of admiration. It was extremely difficult to deal with. But the people, who remembered Johnny the most, were the kindest. I w
as a little slow to realize I brought closure for them. Once it clicked, then I started to feel better, learning to take it in stride. It was just different, that’s all.
Most people were just plain curious. These were the easiest ones to deal with. Once they seemed satisfied with the answers to their questions, they went about their business. That group I liked best, for they left me alone.
It was a select few, though, who kept me humble. Those were the ones who made sure I would remember how I was treated back in my hometown. With cold, penetrating stares, they made it known I wasn’t welcomed. It was almost comical, but in a sad sort of way. Sort of like a drama in a theater setting which made me think of the two theater masks…one happy…one sad.
Then, there were the ones who wouldn’t look directly at me. It was an odd feeling accidently making eye contact with someone from across the room and watch them jerk their head away as if in fear. Like…if they stared at me for any length of time, they’d turn into stone or something.
I felt like Medusa…
“I don’t blame you. You guys deserve to have some fun for a change,” she said, snapping me back to the present.
“Boy isn’t that the truth.” I half–way laughed.
“I know. The understatement of the year considering everything you’ve been through, but I mean it. Just push everything else aside and enjoy your evening.”
“Thanks Nicole. I’ll try to do that.”
She laughed. “You better. Well, I better let you go so you can finish putting the masterpiece together.”
With a chuckle, I replied, “Okay, I’ll try. I’ll talk with you tomorrow then?”
“You bet. Remember…Have fun!”
After hanging up the phone, I sat there for a minute and thought about the word fun. A humorless laugh escaped my mouth at the thought. Fun! What does that even mean? Have I ever had fun? I’d spent my entire life being so disconnected from everyone that I’d never had fun. When I was younger and people came over to play at my house, it still wasn’t fun. There wasn’t any fun in witnessing a vision about them and then having to worry about them finding out. Heck, even my time spent here had been filled with such turmoil; I certainly wouldn’t classify it as fun. I wondered if I even knew how to have it. Was I even capable of having fun?
Visions: The Mystical Encounter Series (The Mystical Encounter Series Book 1) Page 14
