Codename: Bear: Secret Agent (Codename Universe Book 1)

by Geoffrey C Porter

  She would have gotten farther with me had she said all that in the beginning.

  Heathers leaned forward. "Go run."

  I went and ran the track.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Enigma rejoined our training efforts. The danger room was boring. Four missions under my belt, and I felt like I was ready for mission five. One day, I was headed to the martial arts bot, and Thomas was there waiting for me. He spoke first.

  "The martial arts bot's pretty easy?"

  I grunted. Then I farted. Thomas didn't laugh.

  "There is a dial," he said, "which will turn the strength of the bot up. Turn it up high enough, and you could get boxed around pretty hard."

  I stopped moving, like a wild animal caught in a bright light. "What is it set at now?"

  "Level one, and it goes up to twenty."

  "Turn it up!" I said with a bit of glee.

  "Level twenty and you could have a tooth knocked out or suffer a concussion. Broken bones are possible."

  "I didn't say turn it to twenty! What will level five do?"

  Thomas turned to the control panel and slid a metal curtain out of the way. He turned the dial five clicks. Then he typed in a password into the keyboard, and the curtain clicked.

  "Password?" I asked.

  "The dial is kept locked down. Wouldn't want somebody to turn it to twenty without authorization."

  I stepped into the bot's gymnasium. "Start!"

  The bot materialized and jumped right into the air aiming a kick at my jaw. I ducked, and my opponent flipped in midair aiming his other foot at my right shoulder. My hands twitched into a scissors move deflecting his leg at the ankle. The bot was real and solid. He landed on both feet and threw a right hook at my cheekbone. I leaned backwards and tried to grab his arm at the wrist to try and throw him. Got him, but he disintegrated into so many pixels. He threw a left jab at my nose with his other fist.

  I shouted, "Stop!"

  Thomas was watching. "Why did you stop?"

  "I had him in a legit hold. I wanted to throw him, and the machine cheated."

  "Why did you stop?"

  Damnit. "Start!"

  The bot materialized inside my guard, throwing a wicked elbow at my ribcage. I pushed him away and realized something as I parried blows: I was having more fun than ever before with the bot. The danger room was cool the first couple of times, but this, this was real. It felt real. The bot was hitting hard. I glanced out the window to see if Thomas was still there. He was.

  I said, "Stop!"

  "Now what?" Thomas asked.

  "Does the danger room have a dial like this bot?"

  "If it did, you'd die. But no, it doesn't."

  I shouted, "Start!"

  The bot attacked me again. We danced for a solid hour. I shut it down and stood in the shower. I wondered if I'd have bruises the next day. Hadn't been laid in ages. Enigma was totally healed up. Zen was an option, too, but I don't know if I could keep up with her lifestyle. I went to Enigma's room and knocked.

  "I don't see any beer in your hands, and you're at my door?" She said.

  I should have brought beer for sure, but it wasn't spring break. Bet I could get beer from Thomas. "No, I was wondering if you know any girls you could introduce me to."

  Enigma let out this little cackle. "Have you tried talking to one?"

  "Talking?"

  "Yes."

  "Just point me in the right direction," I said.

  She tucked one hand under her elbow, and the other hand reached up to her chin and pretended to stroke a beard that wasn't there.

  "Do you know Xeon?" She asked.

  "Server based microprocessor from Intel?"

  She shook her head. "She was in our last International Law class? She's single and straight as a fucking arrow, and I tried."

  "Dyed red hair? Ears pierced? Always wears way too much makeup?"

  Enigma slammed her right foot on the floor. "She doesn't wear too much. She very expertly applies it."

  "With a paint brush."

  "It's not that bad!"

  I began to think. "What room is she in?"

  "Look in the directory."

  Good idea.

  "Don't forget the beer!" Enigma said as she slammed her door in my face.

  I paged Thomas first. "I'd like to get a six pack of beer."

  Thomas laughed. "I can give you a joint."

  "That's the last thing I want."

  "How do you know?"

  That was an excellent question.

  "Can I get beer or not?" I asked.

  "Ask Nancy."

  I paged Nancy. "Can I get a six pack of beer?"

  "It's not spring break."

  "Please."

  Some clicking followed. "Go to the kitchen."

  I went to the kitchen, and an ice cold six pack of beer was waiting on me. I looked up Xeon's room number. I rang her buzzer with my hands behind my back.

  She answered her door. "Bear?"

  "Xeon, right?"

  "Yeah."

  "Can I come in?"

  She started closing her door on me.

  I pulled the beer out. "I brought beer."

  She raised one eyebrow. "So your plan was to get me drunk and have your way with me?"

  Well, it seemed like a good plan a few minutes ago. "Not with just one six pack. Now, if I'd brought a six pack of Chor'Tan Ale, then maybe."

  "Pig."

  She slammed the door in my face. I went to Enigma's room. She smiled. "You bring beer."

  "Keep it. That was a dirty trick."

  "It only worked because you're stupid. Try talking to Xeon next time. Invite her to our danger room session. Hell, invite her for a run or a swim or something."

  Could I even do that? Invite her to our danger room session? Would Thomas go for that?

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  The next morning I waited just outside the cafeteria hoping to run into Xeon. There were actually a couple of other women I could be pursuing, but I figured one at a time. She strolled down the hallway in my direction. I waved at her and said, "Hi."

  Xeon put her hands on her hips and smiled. "You were waiting on me?"

  "I was hoping to get another chance to talk to you. Last night, the beer, it was all Enigma's idea."

  "Oh," she said, "it wasn't your idea at all?"

  "Part of me thought it was a good plan, but my heart wasn't in it."

  She pushed past me. "I want breakfast."

  I followed. "Will you breakfast with me?"

  "I usually eat with my friends, if they're around."

  "We could be friends."

  She grabbed a plate of turkey sausage links. "You're just a horny little bastard."

  I puffed out my chest. "I may be horny, but I'm not little."

  "All men say that."

  "Well, I'm not saying I'm huge."

  "Uhh-huh."

  "We shouldn't even be talking about this!" I said.

  She grabbed a carton of orange juice and leaned into my ear. "I get horny, too."

  I stopped dead in my tracks.

  "Are you getting food?" She asked. "I haven't had breakfast with a male in ages."

  I quickly acquired a tray and some breakfast goodies. We sat together at a table by ourselves. Zen came through the line. She gave me a look, but she sat down across from me. I said, "This is--"

  "Xeon," Zen said.

  Archangel and DogSeven came through the lines next. They gave me the same look Zen gave me, but they sat down. I said, "This is Xeon."

  DogSeven said, "We know her."

  "Is she joining our team?" Archangel asked.

  "No, we're just having breakfast," Xeon said.

  Thomas approached. His tray had six small plates with three sausage links on each one. He sat down, and it was my turn to give him a look.

  "Munchies," he said, "I was craving sausage links."

  Nancy came through the food lines, raised one eyebrow, and stopped at our table. "My office, a
fter breakfast."

  Enigma was coming through the line next. She sat down right next to Xeon. Then, to my horror, she leaned in and kissed Xeon on the lips. My heart danced. What was going on? Enigma and Xeon were the hottest kissers I'd ever seen, and I had studied lesbian kissing pictures for years as a teenager. I pointed at Xeon, then I aimed my finger at Enigma.

  Xeon patted my hand. "Relax."

  It's hard to relax when your dick is springing to life thinking about what it would be like to get these two hot things into the same bed at the same time. Images polluted my mind. I couldn't even see straight it was so foggy in the cafeteria.

  My entire body twitched, and I was worried I was going to go into convulsions. The crew was done eating though, and we stood up. Nancy finished, too, and the lot of us went to her office. Except Xeon, she went in the other direction. I stared at her butt as she walked away. Enigma hit me on the arm.

  Nancy turned the recorders on and started a speech. "One of our teams hit a significant drug manufacturing facility in Mexico over this last weekend. They took heavy losses, but they killed over one hundred, and put a halt to a 2000Kg a day manufacturing process."

  "Which team?" Thomas asked.

  "Sphinx's people. We have a new mission planned for your group, but you will need to recruit two new members. Thomas, I sent you some personnel files."

  "I'm on it."

  "What about Pumpkin Spice?" Archangel asked.

  "He isn't talking, and I think he is proving immune to our truth medicines," Nancy said.

  "Something weird I noticed about the medical reports on him… The device attached to his cerebral cortex is actually a concentrated Pumpkin Spice delivery system. It feeds Pumpkin Spice directly to his brain."

  "Take away his Pumpkin Spice," I said.

  "That's an idea," Nancy said.

  "Then offer him Pumpkin Spice treats, if he'll talk."

  "It's worth a try."

  "Can I send the personnel reports to Bear?" Thomas asked. "I want his opinions on our potential new recruits."

  "So long as his penis doesn't get in the way," Nancy said.

  "Hey now!" I said.

  "Something else. The computers you recovered, when you raided the Mindbender lab, have been unencrypted. We think we have a recipe for Mindbender. We're analyzing it chemically, and trying to produce a chemical that can be used to wean people off. Chor'Tan resources are being invested in a cure for the addiction."

  Good news. Nancy dismissed us, and I went to class. Then I went for a run. Then the martial arts bot. Then the range. Thomas was waiting on the range for me. He said, "You've never been checked out on our submachine guns."

  Good idea. "Nope."

  He pulled one out of the weapons depot and showed me the safety plus how to clear a jammed round. He made me practice swapping magazines over and over for an hour. It fired like a dream, and the kick made me happy.

  I was reading a book in my room. My door buzzer rang. Enigma and Xeon were outside, and Enigma had her hands behind her back. I knew I fell asleep reading the book, and I was dreaming. I opened the door. Enigma pulled a six pack of Chor'Tan Ale from behind her, and both women smiled.

  I knew I was having one of those crazy dreams again. "Come in, come in."

  Enigma pinched me hard on the cheek. "So you know you're not dreaming."

  "No sex tonight," Xeon said. "We just want to get you drunk. Maybe tie you up."

  "No sex, that's great," I said. "I'm glad you guys thought of me."

  Enigma twisted the top off a bottle. "We like Archangel more, but he won't drink."

  "I think I'm better company than he is."

  "Prove it, tell us a story and dance! Dance!"

  I turned some music on and did a little thing I learned at a rave once.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  The women took little baby sips, and they encouraged me to chug my drink. After the first bottle, most everything was a blur. I remember that they encouraged me to show off my penis, and they laughed, but they refused to do anything with it or get naked. I woke to a terrible headache and a twisted stomach, with no anti-hangover pills. Called the medic. He brought me two of the pills, and I made it to the showers.

  A set of lips were drawn on my left cheek, and a heart on the right one. I rubbed at the ink, but it wasn't going anywhere. Screw it. I checked the rest of my body for ink. None showed. I made my way to breakfast. Enigma, Zen, and Xeon were sitting at a table together, so I joined them.

  "What's the shit on your face?" Zen asked.

  I took a bite of hashbrowns. "I don't even know."

  Xeon whispered, "Permanent marker." Then she and Enigma started giggling hysterically.

  Zen pointed her index finger at her chest. "You guys had a party, and I wasn't invited?"

  "It wasn't my idea," I said.

  DogSeven sat down, looked at me, and said, "What happened to your face?"

  I went back to eating my hashbrowns. Archangel approached, laughed, and said, "This is a good reason not to drink."

  Thomas walked up to our table. "I'm not even going to ask."

  I finished my meal quickly.

  "Run on the treadmill today and review the personnel files I sent you," Thomas said.

  "Affirmative," I said.

  Thomas glared at the women. "Don't paint his face. Tie him up, get him hard, then let him go slack, then repeat."

  "That's not right," Archangel said.

  DogSeven reached down and adjusted his crotch. "That's a horrible idea."

  "Why would you even give them an idea like that?" I asked.

  The three women were looking at each other and perhaps plotting. I went to a treadmill and pulled up the personnel files. Six records in total floated across my screen as I ran.

  Two of the people I knew. Jet, a young Asian fellow who was quick, both physically and mentally. I knew Omni, too, a tall, black fellow who laughed at every joke, no matter how sorry. I didn't even look at the other records. Before I finished my run, Thomas confirmed my recommendations. Nancy summoned us to her office. I got there first. The door was locked.

  Jet and Omni arrived next. Followed by our three women. DogSeven, Archangel, and Thomas joined us. Wait? Three women? Zen and Enigma sure, but Xeon at our meeting, too.

  Nancy walked down the hallway towards us. "Sorry I'm late."

  Barely room for all of us in Nancy's office. She said, "We are recording."

  I grunted. So many noobs. I hoped we would get an easy mission.

  "I told some of you that Sphinx's team took out a huge drug manufacturing plant," Nancy said. "Well, now that Pumpkin Spice is talking, we know about a similar facility in the United States. They are producing approximately 500Kg of drugs a day."

  Archangel said, "When do we hit it?"

  Nancy leaned back in her chair. "With three new members, you need at least a half dozen danger room sessions under your belt before doing anything."

  If not more. Way more.

  "I'm not sharing my weed with the new guys," Thomas said.

  "Nobody asked you to do that," Nancy said.

  Omni let out a little chuckle. "That was going to be my first request."

  Jet ran his fingers through his anime hair. "You should be willing to share, man."

  Thomas moved to leave the room. "Get your own!"

  "Your danger room sessions are scheduled every evening at six," Nancy said.

  "I'll be there." And Thomas left.

  "He doesn't really smoke weed?" Omni asked.

  Nobody else seemed to be fielding the question, so I said, "I've seen him spark up a joint right in the middle of a battle."

  Zen sighed. "Aye."

  Enigma leaned in close and whispered in my ear. "Can we tie you up?"

  I moved away from her. "After what Thomas said at breakfast? Hell no. Tie up DogSeven."

  DogSeven ran out of the room. Archangel chased after.

  Nancy said, "Dismissed."

  We all wandered to our own corners
of the headquarters. I hit the weight room. Went to a class. We had to push two tables together at dinner to let us all eat together. I guess it was important to eat together, even if I could tell there was an alliance forming among the women. DogSeven and Omni obviously knew each other. Danger room time quickly approached.

  Thomas addressed us. "The facility we're hitting is big enough we're going to be dividing everybody up into groups. I've got Omni, DogSeven, Jet, and Bear on the first team. We're rolling in with helmets, submachine guns, grenades, and sidearms."

  I took the lead into the first room.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Omni didn't follow, like he was confused. Jet and DogSeven were right behind me, on each side. The room opened up into a long hallway of sorts, easily four meters wide, with inset doors up and down its length. I kicked in the first door, and the room was empty, not even any furniture. DogSeven smashed the door at the other side of the hallway down. He fired two quick rounds. Jet moved ahead of us and tried the knob on the third door. He pushed it open, finding the room empty. DogSeven was still searching the room he'd opened up.

  Omni joined us by then and opened the door on the left, across from Jet. A pixelated explosion filled the hallway, and Omni was dead. He sat up off the ground. "Like that was fair!" Then he said, "Spawn!"

  We moved through the hallway. Men charged us from farther down, and a gun battle ensued. Our body armor mostly protected us, although Jet got shot on the neck, and he had to respawn. After we killed the last of those targets, the computer said, "Mission complete."

  Omni and DogSeven fist bumped. I about puked.

  Thomas pulled Omni off to the side. "If the explosives are on the other side of the door, there will have to be a lot of them to kill you. In today's scenario, the explosives were above the door on the outside. Had you simply looked up, you would have seen them and not died."

  "Shit!" Omni said.

  Omni, DogSeven, and Jet all left. I stayed behind, wanting to watch Archangel, Zen, Xeon, and Enigma. "They're good," Thomas said.