One Size Fits All (The Classy ‘n’ Sassy Series Book 3)

by Stephanie Haefner

  “Scarlett O’Hara. Gone With the Wind? Have you ever read it?”

  Reading was definitely not something he’d done much of in his life. In school he was basically a do-what-you-have-to-do student, nothing more than what had been required. “I haven’t. But there’s a movie, right?”

  More laughter. He liked hearing it. A lot. “Yes. We’ll have to watch it someday. And speaking of movies, I’m totally craving Goonies, a pint of rocky road ice cream, and a Baby Ruth. You game?”

  They did talk about it last night, but was that really what he wanted to do for their first official date? He could do better than that. “I was thinking of something else. I know the chef at Russell’s. He was our wide receiver in high school. I might even be able to get us at his chef’s table in the kitchen.”

  “Really? That sounds so cool.”

  “It is. I did it once. With my mom. He said I can come whenever I want.”

  “And you haven’t taken anyone else?”

  The question kind of took him by surprise. Shit. Did he sound like a loser? “Uh. No. I never really had anyone to take. It’s a nice place and I guess I haven’t really dated anyone seriously.” Damn it. That was even worse. “That came out wrong. I don’t think we’re dating seriously. We just met. Officially. I meant that I never dated anyone before where I wanted to take them out on a real date.”

  He slapped his hand across his eyes, sure he was fucking this up. But amused giggles danced through his earpiece and made him think otherwise.

  “I get what you mean. I think it’s sweet you took your mom there. She must be really special to you.”

  “She was. I miss her like crazy. I can’t believe she’s been gone over a year already.” Had he really just spilled his feelings like that? But with Penny, it felt natural.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said. “That had to be awful.”

  “It was. My mom was everything. She’s the only parent I had and she was way too great of a lady to die so young. I wish I would’ve been able to take better care of her. It was always my plan, but sometimes plans change.” He shouldn’t have said that. He wasn’t going to whine to her about his fuck-ups. “So, do you want to do the chef’s table thing?”

  “Yes. How about Friday? I have the late shift on Saturday, so I don’t have to be up early.”

  “I can’t. I have practice after school, and after that I head over to The Red Brick.”

  “You’re a busy guy.”

  “Actually, all my weekends are like that. I work the bar Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, sometimes other nights, too. Then add in all my football stuff.”

  “Then you tell me. Is there a night that works for you? I’ll make it work for me. If I have the late shift at the shop, I’m sure Mia and Bryn will let me switch, especially if they know who I’m going out with.”

  “Sunday is my one complete day off.”

  “It’s a date then.”

  It was settled. His first official real date with Penny was on Sunday.

  They continued to talk and it was good. One of those conversations that just flowed. And when it hit midnight, and he knew 6 a.m. would come real fast, he still couldn’t hang up. He’d never felt so at ease with a woman. He was excited to see where things went with her.

  ---------

  PENNY LAY in her bed, lights out, after hanging up with Theo. It was almost one in the morning. It had been a long time since she’d talked with someone for hours. Had she ever even done that with Jack? She sure couldn’t remember.

  She should be tired, but she was more awake than ever. Her body hummed with excitement, and even though their conversation had never turned sexual, thinking of him now, lying in his bed just as she was . . . wow. Her body practically vibrated with sensual energy. She reached into her nightstand drawer for her favorite toy: the vibrating Oliver dildo. Sometimes she felt really bad that she often used the toy that was an exact replica of her friend’s boyfriend’s junk, but oh well.

  Penny flipped its switch and brought it under the covers. With Theo’s face behind her eyelids, it took no time at all to reach her peak. But instead of finding exhausted euphoria, like usual, she was energized. Wide-awake, get-up-and-do-stuff energized.

  So she got out of bed, turned on her stereo—the volume low—and cleaned her apartment while dancing to Top 40 pop tunes. After dusting the living room, washing some dishes, and reorganizing the cabinet where she kept her canned goods and nonperishables, it was narrowing in on three. But she still wasn’t ready to sleep.

  Noticing the mail on her kitchen table, she sat and opened it. A few advertisements, a sweepstakes entry. Typical stuff. And last, a bill. Her credit card bill. She knew that before opening it, but found something she never expected.

  “How the fuck do I owe over fifteen thousand dollars?”

  Penny’s head began to spin and she felt nauseated. Why was this happening? How? Had she really spent that much money since her last bill?

  Wait. This is the first time she’d gotten this bill. Taking a closer look, she saw the previous month’s payment listed: $150. She hadn’t paid that. Jack must’ve paid the minimum payment instead of the full balance and then changed the address on the account so she’d now get the bill. Had he been doing it for a while and just not told her he’d stopped paying it in full? Had he been planning this all along? To let her get herself in crazy debt without even knowing?

  That bastard! If he were standing there right now, she’d kick him in the balls.

  But that wouldn’t change anything. This was her debt. It was her name on the account, all by itself. It was a dirty move, but she really shouldn’t be surprised.

  Penny was already barely getting by, and the thought of a new bill made her head spin again. Maybe she should lie down. Go to sleep and forget this all happened.

  But sleep wasn’t going to happen. All she did was lie there and freak out. She tossed and turned, convinced she and Scarlett were going to be on the street with no place to live, no place for all her bills to get delivered to.

  At seven she got up. Good thing it was her day off—there’s no way she’d be able to function at the shop. But if she could see Mia today and talk to her, maybe she could help. She was good at money stuff. If she could come up with a solution, maybe Penny could finally get some sleep.

  Too anxious to wait, she called. She knew Mia would be awake.

  “Is everything okay?” she immediately asked.

  “Yes. I couldn’t sleep.”

  “Oh good. I was worried something was wrong. You never call me this early. What’s going on?”

  “I’m having a money crisis and I don’t know what to do.” She explained the situation. “Can you help? Please?”

  Mia sighed. “Unfortunately, since your name’s on the account, it’s your bill to pay.”

  “I figured as much. How do I do that?”

  “Do what the rest of us do. Cut corners until it’s paid off.”

  “Fifteen grand is not a corner, it’s a freaking city block.”

  “It won’t be easy, but look at it this way. It’ll feel good to accomplish something so huge.”

  Of course Mia had to look at it practically. “Can you give me some ideas on how to do it?”

  “Cut out little things, like ordering lunch. Make it at home and bring it instead. Stop going out to eat. Buy store brands instead of name brand. Wear drugstore makeup instead of the fancy stuff you like to buy.” She paused and let out a giggle. Penny failed to be amused by any of this. “And I’m sorry, ’cause I know this one will sting: stop buying every new vibrator we get in the shop.”

  She had to laugh at that one. “I already figured that.” And besides, if she was lucky, she might not need her collection much anymore anyway. “But the rest is going to be tough. I don’t really know how to cook. And I don’t have a clue what to pack for a lunch.”


  Mia laughed and Penny imagined her shaking her head. “That’s what YouTube is for.”

  “Okay. I can do that.”

  She could, and would. She’d watch every Rachel Ray clip she could find and figure out how to make all the fabulous food she loved on her own. But it still sucked. It was one thing to be kicked out of her home so her soon-to-be ex’s pregnant mistress could move in, but to give up every minuscule luxury was just so damn hard. And unfair. Jack was the one who fucked up, so why was she the one suffering?

  Damn him and his ironclad prenuptial agreement.

  But no matter what way she looked at it, she needed more money. Maybe she could earn more. It had been an eternity since she’d gotten a raise. Classy ’n’ Sassy had been in such financial trouble for so long that no one had gotten a raise for years. But things were looking up now. Maybe now was the time to ask for one.

  That didn’t mean it was easy.

  “So how about this,” Penny continued. “I’ll cut corners and do the best I can, but can I have a raise, too?”

  Silence.

  “Mia? Are you there?”

  “Yeah. I just . . . I don’t know. We’re finally in the clear and I can’t risk going back to where we were.”

  “But things are so much better now. Way better than they were before.” She didn’t know for sure, since she didn’t do the accounting, but the shop was a hell of a lot busier than it was a year ago. “You even hired a new employee because business is booming.”

  “I know. I just can’t make that decision without talking to Bryn and taking a good look at our finances. I’m sorry. I hope you understand.”

  She understood, all right. They’d hired a brand-new person but hadn’t even thought to give a raise to the one who’d stuck by them through all their hardships. Now she was the one in trouble and no one was helping her. This sucked.

  CHAPTER Five

  Penny stood at the counter ringing up a customer while Chanel helped a woman pick out shapewear. She was glad it was just the two of them today. The last few days at Classy ’n’ Sassy had been awkward. Well, probably just for her. After Mia had turned her down for a raise, she’d mostly kept to herself. She had no desire to be “one of the girls” this week.

  She wished her customer a good day and began sorting through the mail.

  “Hey, Penny,” Chanel said as she approached the counter. “This pair of underwear is stitched funky on one side. Can I give her a 10 percent discount or something?”

  It was standard procedure to give customers a discount on imperfect merchandise. It happened from time to time. Stuff came in and there were small defects they failed to notice before putting it on the showroom floor. It was easier to give a discount than to send it back to the company.

  “Sure,” Penny said, turning to a pile of new catalogues, but thought better of her response. “Chanel, wait.”

  What if this one time they didn’t want to give a discount? Was Penny ready to get reamed out for it?

  “You better ask Mia or Bryn.”

  “But they’re not here.”

  “Then call one of them. I don’t want to make any decisions that affect the shop.”

  “Oh . . . kay.” Chanel headed for the phone and dialed one of their bosses.

  Penny breathed deeply and shook her head. Never in the past would she have hesitated like that. Mia and Bryn had trusted her and backed her up. But now? Things just felt different. She used to love her job at Classy ’n’ Sassy. She used to be excited to go to work. But the last few days—hell, the last couple of months—it just hadn’t felt the same.

  Was this even what she wanted to do for the rest of her life? When she’d gotten the job, it was a way to fill her days until she became a stay-at-home supermom. But life happened and now she needed to work to support herself.

  She’d worked hard for her degree, and so far she’d been pretty damn good at her job. Marketing guru and jill-of-all-trades at a lingerie shop wasn’t what all her college friends were doing with their marketing degrees, but she liked the women she worked with and loved being a part of something so awesome. But the awesomeness wasn’t what it once was. Surely there were other jobs that would pay more.

  And maybe she’d be appreciated more.

  ---------

  THOR GRABBED the net bag of footballs and headed out the back of the school to the football field. The kids were still in class, waiting to be dismissed. He had a few minutes to set up cones for running drills.

  He pulled a football from the bag and tossed it in the air. As it twirled in a perfect spiral above his head, a cloud of regret flooded his brain. This wasn’t what his life was supposed to be like. Right now, he should’ve been finishing up a stellar NFL career, getting ready to retire soon. He would have secured a commentator job on ESPN, or maybe even gotten into coaching a college team. He would have bought his mom a gorgeous house in Kenville with a white picket fence, instead of making her live in the same trailer home they’d lived in his whole childhood. She wouldn’t have had to work a tiring, thankless job that kept her out at an ungodly hour. She wouldn’t have become a victim of an irresponsible drunk driver on the road that same time of night.

  He was supposed to take care of her. Like she’d taken care of him. He was supposed to do so much more with his life.

  “Hey, Coach!”

  Joey had come to him the day before and asked if he could join the team. Thor had yet to really see what the kid had, but he needed this chance.

  “Hey, O’Conner. You ready to work hard?”

  “Yep!”

  “Good to hear.”

  The other kids arrived and he lined them up. He didn’t need to do it, since most had heard it weeks ago on the first day of practice, but for Joey’s sake he gave his brief spiel about the game and the dedication it took. He tried not to gush too much about his love of the game, or he’d end up boring them. But it seemed to pump them up and he liked that.

  They counted off jumping jacks, then sit-ups. Among many grumbles, they did push-ups, too. The coaches split them up, running box and handoff drills, as well as offensive and defensive drills. After two hours, they had forty-four boys and one girl with flushed cheeks, sweaty heads, and grass-stained knees, and he couldn’t be prouder.

  “Great practice. Go get some water.”

  Thor jotted notes while the other coaches collected orange cones and various pieces of practice equipment.

  “Excuse me? Coach Rublinski?”

  He looked up from his clipboard. “Yes?”

  “I’m Karen, Joey’s mom.”

  “Hi.” He held out his hand and she reluctantly shook it. “Thanks for letting him play. He’s a great kid and I think he has some real talent.”

  “I didn’t give him my permission. That’s why I’m here.” Her friendly demeanor changed slightly. “I’m very much against this . . . game.”

  “He came to me yesterday and said he wanted to play, so I assumed you said it was okay.”

  “I told him he needed to get a part-time job after school. He insisted he could do both and stormed off before I could convince him otherwise.”

  Thor remembered being a kid and offering to give up football and get a job at a fast food place so he could help out at home. His mother refused to let him quit. “I understand your position. I was a lot like Joey when I was a kid. But I needed football. And I think it could help Joey a lot, too.”

  “I don’t need parenting advice from a gym teacher. And I sure don’t need someone filling my kid’s head with nonsense. He needs to learn how to be an adult. This stupid game isn’t going to do that.”

  “This sport is so much more than a game.” His defenses rose, but he needed to stay calm. “It’ll teach him responsibility, commitment, respect, teamwork. All key skills in life.”

  Surprisingly, she backed down, her expressio
n softening. “I guess I didn’t think of it like that.”

  “How about this? The season only lasts a few months. Can you give him a little time? Let him do this now and he can get a job when the season ends. Maybe even a better job than he can get now, because he’ll be a more responsible person then.”

  “I guess. But I don’t have any money to give you for anything.”

  “I know. I loaned him a pair of my cleats and the school provides all equipment for free.”

  “Fine. But if I see anything negative, he’s done.”

  “Deal.”

  She turned and walked off the field. He’d won the battle for Joey, for now.

  ---------

  PENNY LET out a sigh as she plopped down onto her couch. Staying in her relaxed position, she reached for the mail off the coffee table. She’d learned to open all mail with caution. She never knew when one would be a bomb that would explode in her face with demands for money, also known as bills that normal people paid on a monthly basis.

  And today was no exception. Why did it cost so damn much for electricity? She hardly even used it. It was still technically summer, so she didn’t even turn the lights on until the sun set, and it’s not like she watched TV nonstop. Deep breath. Add it to the list of things she had no clue where she’d get the money for. Never in her life had she felt this way. She wasn’t even sure how to explain it. A definite unease. And the only way to make that go away was to pay all the bills and not have them hanging over her.

  But how could she get the money she needed? The raise request was a dead end. Bryn had expressed how much she “loved and valued” Penny and that she was “so, so sorry” they couldn’t give the raise right now, but Penny still felt like shit. And then had to pretend like everything was fine and dandy.

  But she needed money now. How was she supposed to get more money if her bosses were unwilling to give her more?

  She needed to do what normal people did, and get a second job. It’s not like she had much going on in her free time anyway.

  But what kind of job could she do that wouldn’t interfere with her work at Classy ’n’ Sassy? And what was she qualified for? Obviously retail, but would that just make her want to buy more stuff? Employee discounts were a curse. The temptation surrounding her could be disastrous. The restaurant business? She’d never done that, but her college roommate had been a waitress while they were in school. She’d probably learned a thing or two. But could she carry a tray like that one-handed? Hmmm. Not sure. Maybe she could be a hostess or something. That would be easy.