One Size Fits All (The Classy ‘n’ Sassy Series Book 3)

by Stephanie Haefner

She did not just say that.

  The back door opened and in breezed Bryn. “Good afternoon, ladies! I brought truffles!” She stepped into Penny’s office and opened the box, a swirl of chocolate-scented air drifting into her nostrils, but it didn’t even smell good. “Let’s eat them while we talk about the party.”

  She left the room and Mia followed. Chanel arrived and the three of them chatted as they walked down the hall. The animated tone was sickening.

  “Penny! Come on! We don’t have all day. Get your cute ass out here!” Bryn yelled.

  Normally she would’ve loved the playful banter. Today, she was not amused. By the time she walked the short hallway, Chanel had her tablet open and Bryn and Mia were huddled around it. No space for Penny to even see what was going on.

  “I was so pumped when I went home that ideas just kept coming.” She swiped her finger and opened a new document. “Check this out.”

  “Oh, I like it a lot!” Bryn said.

  “That’s really cool and different,” Mia said next.

  Bryn again. “That’s definitely what we should do for the party posters and the guerrilla marketing stuff.”

  “I agree.” Mia shook her head. “I think you should go ahead and do all the promotional items so they coordinate. Get it to the printer as soon as possible.”

  “I’ll get over there by the time they close this afternoon.” Chanel beamed.

  “It’s settled then!” Bryn said, and shoved a truffle into her mouth. “This party is going to be the best one yet!”

  The three women dispersed in separate directions and Penny had yet to even get a glimpse of this amazing promotional stuff that was apparently way better than anything she’d come up with. She stood there alone, wondering what the hell had just happened.

  But there was one thing she did know: Mia and Bryn had just handed over her job responsibilities to someone else. The confusing part was that she didn’t even care anymore. Total indifference had set in.

  “Hey, Penny. Can you do us a favor?” Bryn asked as she reappeared at the front counter. “There are a ton of rehangs in the dressing room. You mind?”

  Looks like she had officially traded jobs with Chanel. Whatever.

  ---------

  THE CHILL of early October surrounded Penny as she left the shop at four. She got in her car, thankful for the shield from the windy afternoon, and headed for home. Like any other day. As if she was still just as important at work as she’d always been.

  It surprised her how little she cared. And all she wanted was to be with the one person whom she did matter to. But Theo was still at the football field. Would he mind if she showed up there? It might be fun to watch him in action. To imagine what he was like in his football heyday.

  She grabbed some sandwiches from a nearby deli then hit the road toward Kenville, her foot pressing harder on the gas pedal with each passing mile. She was so anxious to see him!

  After parking in the nearly abandoned lot at the high school, she headed toward the sound of a whistle blowing. It didn’t take long for her to find Theo and a smile to spread across her face.

  Penny took a seat on the bleachers, so far unnoticed. Kids lined up wearing mesh jerseys, pads so thick they doubled their body’s size, and big, round helmets. They squatted down in what she assumed was the proper football formation. She couldn’t be more clueless in regards to the sport. Someone shouted something she couldn’t quite understand and then one kid hopped back, arm cocked and ready. The others mashed against each other. The guy with the ball—the quarterback?—finally threw and it landed in the hands of another kid who ran it all the way to the end of the field without anyone else even coming close. Half the kids celebrated and Penny couldn’t help but clap, too.

  But her clapping must have given away her presence. Theo turned, furrowed brows relaxing as soon as he realized it was her. He smiled then turned back to his kids, blowing his whistle.

  “Water break.” He jogged over to her, his grin still present. “What’re you doing here?”

  “I thought I’d check out this football thing. Is that okay?”

  “Of course.”

  “And I brought sandwiches for dinner,” she said, holding up her bag from the deli.

  “Thanks.” He leaned and kissed her cheek.

  From behind she heard, “Ooohhh! Coach has a giiirrrlllfriend!”

  Theo stood tall and turned. “Yes I do. Are you jealous that I have one and you don’t?”

  The kid’s smile flipped and the others bombarded him with laughter and, “Oh! He got you!”

  “I better get back to these knuckleheads,” Theo said. “I need to run a few more plays before I send them home.”

  Penny sat and watched him, the way he was with the kids, showing them the proper things to do, calmly but firmly. Man, he’s going to be a great dad.

  But that would never happen if he stayed with her. She was falling for this wonderful man and if he loved her back, and wanted to spend his life with her, how could she ask him to give that up?

  She didn’t have much time to think about it. With a final “Go Knights!” the kids trotted off the field and Theo headed for her. She quickly blinked away her tears and slapped on a smile.

  “Thanks for bringing dinner,” he said as he sat down next to her. “But I have a department meeting in ten minutes. Do you care if we eat now?”

  “Like, right here?”

  He shrugged. “Why not?”

  She handed him a double roast beef sub with mayo and horseradish, priding herself on already knowing his favorites. He dug in like he hadn’t eaten in a week.

  “Oh yeah. This is the stuff.”

  Penny took a normal person’s bite of her ham on a deli roll with Dijon. She tried to enjoy it, but a question nagged at her brain.

  “So, you really like coaching, huh?” she asked.

  He finished a bite of sandwich. “I do. My coaches changed my life when I was a kid. My dad took off before I was even born, so without them, I’d never have become the person I am. I owe them so much, so I like being that for other kids.”

  She nodded. A great answer, but it wasn’t the question she needed an answer to. “What about having your own some day? A kid, I mean.”

  He froze, sandwich midway to his mouth. “I haven’t really thought about it.” He set his food down and turned to her. “I’ve never even been in an actual relationship before, so it’s never been an option. If it happens for me someday, great. If not, no big deal. Then I’ll just adopt more dogs. I’ll be the crazy dog guy with fifty mutts in my house.”

  That made her smile. “I guess that’s better than a crazy cat guy.”

  “Who knows? Maybe I’ll have both. I’m an animal lover.”

  And he was also the man who was quickly taking up every available inch of space in her heart. He leaned down and kissed her, a glowing smile as he pulled away.

  “Thor!”

  She should’ve known the moment wouldn’t last.

  One of the other coaches walked over. “I’m heading in. You comin’?”

  “In a minute.”

  He headed toward the school and Thor turned back to Penny. “Thank you for the sandwich. I’ll finish it later.” He wrapped it up then kissed her cheek before he stood. “You don’t have to hang around here. This meeting is probably going to take an hour.”

  “Okay, but I hoped I could go home with you after practice.” There were a whole lot of things she wanted to do to him, none of which were appropriate in public, on school property.

  Theo dug into his pocket and tossed something at her. She instinctively lifted her hands to catch it. His house key.

  “Make yourself at home.” He jogged toward the school, not allowing her a chance to protest.

  Theo’s house. All by herself. This might be weird. But really, really cool, too. Maybe she c
ould do something special for him. Surprise him when he got home. On his bed, waiting for him naked? Or bake some cookies in nothing but a skimpy apron. Maybe she could time it so she was leaning over the open oven when he walked in. Naked seemed to be the common theme here. A good theme, at that. She had sixty minutes to figure out the specifics.

  CHAPTER Twenty-Two

  Penny kept busy at work and found herself fighting off a goofy smile every time she thought of her evening with Theo. Who knew naked board games could be so fun? And there were still cookies. Sort of. There was a tube of cookie dough. That Theo may have eaten out of her belly button. Among other places.

  “Hello? Earth to Penny?”

  Penny snapped out of her delicious daydream, annoyed that Chanel had interrupted it.

  “What?” Penny asked.

  “I don’t know what to do with this return. The woman seriously waited till the eighty-ninth day to return it. I’ve never even seen this in the shop.” She held up the pink floral and lace baby doll nightie from the spring line. “But it still has all its tags attached.”

  “We have to put it on the clearance rack. Deduct 30 percent and round up the change to ninety-nine.”

  “I don’t know how to do that.”

  Why, again, did Mia and Bryn think the sun rose and set on Chanel’s ass? Penny grabbed a calculator and did the math. The $48 nightie was now $33.99. She used the price gun to punch out a pink clearance sticker and placed it on the garment’s tag. “There you go.”

  Chanel examined the tag. “So because this lady kept it so long, we lose fourteen bucks?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Well, that freakin’ sucks. No wonder retail is such a tough business.” She walked away to hang the item on the small round rack in the back of the store.

  Chanel really had no clue about how hard this business could be. Penny had witnessed it all, alongside Mia and Bryn. The highest highs and lowest lows. When the shop was in danger of closing, the three of them had put their heads together and made it an even bigger success than before. She longed for those days. The Three Musketeer-ettes. There was no problem that wine and laughter couldn’t fix.

  But maybe she was meant to move on. She never dreamed she’d be a waitress, but she was honestly enjoying it. Her coworkers were awesome, especially Theo, and she was having fun. Most nights it didn’t even feel like work. It was the kind of fun she used to have at Classy ’n’ Sassy. And she even sort of had a new girlfriend. Shelly was really cool.

  Penny knew getting divorced would flip her life upside down. She just never expected that to happen with her job. That was supposed to be the one constant in her life. She hated to even think it, but maybe she needed a divorce from Classy ’n’ Sassy, too.

  ---------

  THOR SAT at his post by the door, keeping an eye on the bar, willing his hard-on to stand down. He couldn’t help it. Every time Penny walked by, all he could think of was eating raw cookie dough off of her. He’d done some crazy sexual shit in his day, but that had to be one of the most erotic. Never again would he eat a chocolate chip cookie without thinking of her.

  The bar was busy but not packed. Thor scanned the place again, like he always did. He never kept his gaze in one place for too long.

  “Hey you!”

  The voice came from the doorway and Bryn leaned in to hug him.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked when she pulled back, noticing Mia with her.

  “Just needed to relax a little, have a couple drinks. Just us girls.”

  That made his defenses shoot up. He remembered when “girls night” included Penny. Maybe she wasn’t being paranoid after all. Bryn and Mia were his friends, but Penny was his girlfriend, the woman he lo— Had serious feelings for.

  “Sounds fun,” he managed, and right away wondered what this was going to do to Penny.

  They grabbed a booth—in Penny’s section, of course. He needed to warn her. He stood from his stool, but a bunch of people shuffled through the doorway. He couldn’t let them in without checking IDs. He did it as quickly as he could, but when he was done, they congregated in front of him. He weaved back and forth trying to see around the cluster to find Penny. No dice.

  When he could finally get around them he stepped toward the table. Too late. Penny had just approached, her discomfort evident all over her face. Shit.

  “Uh . . . hi,” Penny stuttered.

  “Hey! How’s it goin’?” Bryn asked, fake exuberance shining through. This was awkward for all of them.

  “Good. So . . . what can I get you?”

  “I’ll have a Seth’s Special,” Bryn said.

  “Me, too,” Mia added quickly.

  “Comin’ right up.” Penny turned, beelining it for the bar. She gripped the mahogany tight, breathing deeply like she was going to pass out.

  “Are you okay?” Thor asked, a hand to the small of her back. She was actually trembling.

  “I think so. I knew they’d eventually come in while I was working. I guess I didn’t expect it to be as weird as it is.”

  He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, where a few random blond tresses trailed from a loose ponytail.

  “Thanks,” she said. “That helps a lot.”

  “Try and relax, okay? I know it’s weird, but if it helps any, they looked just as uncomfortable as you.”

  Seth poured two bright blue martinis and set them on the bar.

  “Can you manage?” Thor asked. Martini glasses were damn near impossible to carry without spilling, even when the person carrying them wasn’t upset.

  “I got it.”

  She grabbed a small metal tray and set them on it. He stayed back and watched her deliver the drinks, three women who used to be the best of friends with fake smiles. This wasn’t right. But maybe there was a way he could fix it. Help Penny get back what she had with Bryn and Mia.

  “Hey, Seth,” he said as he leaned over the bar. “Penny’s due for a break soon, right?”

  “Yeah, but if you’re thinking of fucking in the supply closet, just make sure you pick up whatever you knock off the shelf.”

  “We weren’t the ones who knocked over the bottle of Pine-Sol and made the entire bar smell like a forest for a week.”

  Seth laughed. “Good times. Now I instantly get horny the second I smell pine.”

  “I didn’t need to know that.” He glanced back and Penny was gone. “So she can take a break then? I need three shots each of Crown, Patrón, and Fireball.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Yep.” He didn’t know much about women, but drunk women always bonded. He’d seen it a million times. And three shots each in a quick succession was a sure way to do that.

  He went in search of Penny and found her in the kitchen handing in a food order. “Come with me,” he said.

  “Where?” A sparkle glinted from the corner of her eye. “The supply closet?”

  “No. It still smells like Pine-Sol and that now makes me sick.”

  She laughed. “Okay. Somewhere else then?”

  He took her by the hand. “Sex can wait.” He grabbed the tray from Seth and walked it and her to Bryn and Mia’s table. “Hello, ladies. Penny’s on break and I thought I’d treat you all to some of my favorite shots.”

  All three protested, a jumble of voices, and he couldn’t make out what any one of them was actually saying. “I won’t take no for an answer. So bottoms up.” He deposited one of each in front of every girl and made Penny sit in the booth next to Bryn. “Fireball first.”

  “This is a bad idea,” Mia said.

  “Alcohol is never a bad idea. When was the last time you three had a chance to sit down and have some fun together?” Maybe if he played on their nostalgia, they’d remember how much fun they used to have.

  They all looked around the table. �
�It’s been awhile,” Bryn said.

  “So drink up.” Thor picked up Penny’s Fireball shot and her hand and physically put it between her fingers.

  “Okay, fine. Let’s do it!” Bryn sounded far more energetic now, for real. “We’ve never been girls who refuse free drinks.” She whipped her head toward Thor. “These are free, right?”

  Mia and Penny laughed, and that was exactly what he wanted. Music to his ears. “Of course.”

  “Then drink up!” Bryn raised her glass and Mia did the same. They clinked and down it went.

  Instantly the mood was lighter. Thor felt good. He was helping Penny. Helping his friends. The other shots went down, and the girls laughed and chatted, having fun like they used to. Thor took the tray back to the bar and turned to observe.

  “You did a good thing, my friend,” Seth said, coming up next to him. “I know she’s been pretty bummed about how it all went down.”

  “How do you know about that?”

  “Shelly. Women talk. And then she talks to me. I know a whole lot more about you than I ever cared to.”

  “Penny talks to Shelly about me? What did she say?”

  Seth pat him on the back. “All good things.”

  Thor looked back to Penny and her smile radiated, lighting up the dingy corner booth. Bryn said something and they all laughed. Penny added something, then all three turned and looked at him.

  “Oh man. They’re talking about you now.” Seth laughed and headed back behind the bar.

  Heat spread across Thor’s face but he walked toward the table anyway. “Can I get you guys anything else?”

  “Not now.” Penny stood and plastered a sloppy kiss on his lips. “But you can definitely give me something later.”

  More hooting and hollering from the booth as his cheeks got hotter.

  Penny turned back to the girls, giggling. “I have to get back to work. But I’ll be back.”

  She left and he looked to Bryn and Mia. “So things are okay?”

  “Yeah, I think so,” Bryn answered. “That was fun. Thanks.”

  “Anytime.” He headed back to his post by the door, back to observing the room, making sure everything was good. He was proud of himself. Proud he could help Penny. He liked helping her, fixing a problem for her. He gave himself a mental pat on the back.