One Size Fits All (The Classy ‘n’ Sassy Series Book 3)

by Stephanie Haefner

  “Great. When she came in she practically shoved her boobs in Theo’s face. Did they . . . ? Have you ever seen him . . . ?”

  Shelly’s lips curved downward. “Yeah. They used to hook up pretty frequently. I’m sorry.” She rested her hand on top of Penny’s. “But he loves you. And he’s a great guy. He’d never screw up what you have. So don’t spend one more second worrying about that slut. She’s so not worth the wrinkles.”

  A faint smile formed on Penny’s lips. “Thanks.”

  It was the dog park all over again, but this time way worse. Penny knew Shelly was right, but it sucked. Theo had a promiscuous past, and if she loved him and wanted it to work, she needed to get over it. Easier said than done.

  She went about her evening, waiting on tables, delivering plates of wings, chicken fingers, french fries, and every kind of drink the bartenders could create. She took a break with Theo and shared a plate of panko-crusted, deep-friend cauliflower—Seth’s newest creation. As he kissed her cheek and wiped away a spot of Parmesan dipping sauce from her lip, the horrible thoughts of that woman faded away. It was just her and Theo and the fabulous future that lay ahead of them.

  “You guys almost done?” Seth asked, peeking his head into the back room. “We just got a rush of new bodies.”

  “Yep,” Theo said, and popped the last morsel into his mouth. “And you definitely need to add these to the menu.”

  “Will do. Now get in here.”

  Penny followed Theo and retied her apron around her waist. After another quick kiss, he said, “Couple more hours and then it’ll be just us.”

  “Can’t wait.”

  Penny grabbed her order pad and checked to see if her section had new customers. A table of men decked out in football paraphernalia, eyes glued to the screen above the bar, had taken over her section. The rest were the people she’d already waited on. But then she noticed the corner booth, full of boobs.

  “I’ll take that table if you want,” Shelly said into Penny’s ear.

  “I got it,” she said, a wave of confidence rushing over her. She was a big girl and could handle it. She strolled over and flashed her brightest smile. “Good evening, ladies. Can I get you something from the bar or off the menu?”

  “Five shots of tequila,” the black-haired one demanded. “And make sure the limes are fresh. I don’t want the ones sitting behind the bar.”

  Penny scribbled it on her pad, then looked around the table. “Anything else?”

  “Nope. So run along and fetch our liquor.”

  Penny forced a grin. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Her smile flipped the second she turned her back.

  “Let me guess,” Shelly said as she met her at the bar. “Fresh lime slices?”

  “I suppose this is a frequent request?”

  Shelly rolled her eyes. “More like a frequent pain in my ass. I’ll have Seth pour the shots, you get the lime.”

  Penny grabbed one from the kitchen with a pairing knife and cutting board. She cut it in half, then in quarter-inch slices. Seth set the filled glasses on her tray and she added a small bowl of lime wedges, giving them some extra just in case. And of course, the salt shaker. She headed back to the corner table.

  “Here you go, ladies.” She set the glasses in front of the girls.

  “You spilled some of mine,” the one with the black hair said.

  “I’m sorry. I’ll get a towel and clean it up.”

  “Bring the bottle while you’re at it and replace what spilled out.”

  Penny looked at the glass and it hardly looked different from the others. The “spill” was a dime-sized splotch. Was she for real?

  “Oh my God! Are these seriously the limes you’re giving us?”

  Penny faced the woman again. “Is there something wrong? I cut a fresh lime, just like you asked.”

  “Could they be any thinner?” She held one up to the light, tossed it on the table, and reached for another. “We’ll hardly get any juice out of these.”

  “I’m sorry. That’s how we always cut them.”

  “Well, obviously you’re new here, and you don’t know anything. Bring us new limes and make them at least double the thickness.”

  Ridiculous. This slutty chick had already shoved her giant fake breasts in her boyfriend’s face, and now she was being a total bitch about fucking limes.

  “Is there a problem here?” Theo asked, sidling up to Penny, his hand curling around her waist.

  The black-haired she-devil looked to Theo, to his hand, then back to his face. “When you said you were taken, I thought it’d at least be with a hot girl.” She laughed, her gaggle of tramps laughing along with her.

  “You’re out of line,” Theo said.

  That’s it? That’s all he was going to say after this bitch called Penny ugly?

  “I can’t help it if you don’t like the truth.”

  “I think you should leave.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, making her tits pop out even more, something Penny didn’t think was possible. “I’m not leaving. If the truth hurts, too damn bad. It’s not a reason to throw me out. Go away so I can get trashed with my girls and find some other hot guy to fuck tonight.”

  Theo stepped back and grabbed Penny’s hand. “Let’s get back to work.”

  Seriously? That was it? He was just going to slink away?

  “I’m sorry,” he said when he got her away from the table. “I would’ve thrown them out, but I know how much money they spend in here. I can’t let Seth lose out on that.”

  Anger surged through her, but as pissed off as she was, she understood. She’d have Shelly take care of them the rest of the night and it would be fine.

  “I’m going to get some air,” she said, and set her tray on the bar. “Just for a minute.”

  “Okay.” He bent and kissed her, his gaze fixed on hers as he said, “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Penny headed out to the patio. It was empty now, aside from a lone smoker off to the side. She breathed deeply, not about to let some trampy girl ruin her night. She had Theo. He loved her. A rude bitch wasn’t about to change that.

  She headed back inside, ready to finish her night and get out of there, into Theo’s arms and bed, a place that slut would never be again. But when she grabbed her tray and headed toward her row of tables, she saw them. The bitch had her arms around him, six-inch stilettos making her almost as tall as him. She was laughing, and he didn’t appear to be doing anything to get her off of him.

  I’m outta here.

  CHAPTER Twenty-Six

  Thor peeled Monique’s arms from around his neck, but she put them right back. “Stop.”

  “I don’t want to. And you don’t want me to, either.”

  “My girlfriend is here and she doesn’t need to see you all over me.”

  “Then let’s go somewhere private, like we used to. You remember how roomy my backseat is, right?”

  He removed her arms again, this time holding her wrists in his hands. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Come on,” she said, and rubbed her chest against him. “You know you want to. I’m so much hotter than that homely thing you claim to date. And I’m sure I can suck your dick way better than she can.”

  “That’s enough.” He let go of one of her hands and dragged her toward her table and her posse. “Get your things and go.”

  She laughed and yanked her hand free from him. “It’s so cute how you think you can order me around. You know I only like that in the bedroom.” She batted her long fake eyelashes.

  “Thor?” Shelly was at his side. “We need to talk.”

  “In a minute. I have to take care of this first.”

  Monique sat and crossed one spray-tanned leg over the other. “You might as well go see what she wants, ’caus
e I’m not leaving.”

  He grabbed her by the arm and yanked her back up. “Oh yes you are.”

  “Penny’s gone,” Shelly blurted.

  “She just went out for some fresh air. Check the patio.”

  “I did. Her apron is on the kitchen counter and her purse is gone.”

  He faced her. “What?”

  “Good,” Monique said, taking advantage of Thor’s distraction, and pulled out of his grip once again. She slipped her hand around and grabbed his ass. “Then we can continue what we started earlier.”

  “There was nothing started.” He turned from Monique to Shelly. “I swear.”

  “I know,” Shelly said. “Go. Seth told me to tell you it’s okay.”

  “Thanks,” he said, and headed for the door. He’d thank Seth later.

  Monique was at his heels, somehow managing to keep up in those stupidly high shoes. “She’ll never be able to fuck you like I can.”

  He stopped and turned. “Good. I’m done with meaningless fucking. I love her, so back off.” He didn’t give her the chance to say anything more. He pulled the door open and ran all the way to Penny’s apartment.

  ---------

  THOR KNOCKED on Penny’s door and her little dog barked like there was a serial killer trying to get in. But he knew Penny was there. The light was on and he could see her through the curtained window.

  “Go away,” she said.

  He rested his forehead against her door. “Please let me in.”

  The kitchen light flicked off.

  “Penny! Come on. I need to talk to you.” The night couldn’t end like this. He knocked again. More barking, but nothing else. Anger surged through his body and he wanted to punch out the window, kick down the door. Anything so he could get to her. “Please let me in.”

  Still nothing. So he took a calmer approach and tried the knob. The door clicked open. She shouldn’t leave it unlocked at one in the morning, in case there actually was a serial killer at her door, but he’d address that with her later. Right now, he needed to hold her.

  Thor stepped into her dark living room. “Penny?” Nothing but the growl of a tiny beast at his feet. He headed for her bedroom. The door was slightly ajar so he pushed on it, the creak piercing the night like a ref’s whistle in his ear. She lay on the bed, curled in a ball, the moonlight illuminating her body and the sobs that shook it.

  She was crying because of him. The sight of it hurt more than the pain in his leg that last football game he’d played. The one that ended it all. This couldn’t be the end of him and Penny.

  He sat on the edge of her bed, hesitant at first, but put a hand to her arm, rubbing up and down. “Hey.”

  “I told . . . you to . . . go . . . away,” she said through hiccupped sobs.

  “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  “Go. Now!” Her voice held more conviction, the hiccupped sobs gone. “Go back to the bar and that piece of trash.”

  “I’m sorry for what happened. And for what she said to you. But don’t believe one word out of her filthy mouth.” He had to make this better. Let Penny know that Monique was a stupid, petty woman he wanted nothing to do with. He only wanted her. “You’re the hottest woman I’ve ever seen.”

  She rolled to face him. “You seriously think I’m mad because she insulted my looks?”

  He did until now. Fuck. “Uh . . . what then?”

  Even with the moonlight to her back, he saw the narrowing of her eyes. “I saw you with her. Her dirty little hands all over you. And you didn’t look like you were in too much of a hurry for her to stop.”

  Oh. “It’s not what it looked like. She kept touching me but I was trying to get her off.”

  “I’m sure getting off was exactly what she had in mind.”

  “You know what I mean. Monique and I have history, but I told her I’m with you. That I love you. That she needs to leave me alone.”

  “Well, Monique didn’t seem to care.” Penny rolled away, her back to him once again.

  This was not going well. How was he supposed to assure her that what she saw was nothing? That every woman from his past was nothing but a tiny blip? She meant everything to him. “I love you. No other woman matters.”

  “I thought Jack loved me, and look what happened.”

  Fuck. Now it made sense. He hadn’t even realized. What was happening right now didn’t even have all that much to do with him. It had to do with the shit her ex put her through.

  “I’m not Jack.”

  “How do I know that?”

  He didn’t know what to say. How could he convince the person he loved that he’d never hurt her, after she’d been so badly hurt in the past? How could he make her trust him?

  “I wish I knew what to say to prove it to you. All I can do is be here and show you how much I care for you.” He took a huge risk by leaning over and kissing her shoulder. “I love you more than anything and I promise to spend every day showing you how much I mean it.”

  He hoped his words would help, but they didn’t. Her shoulders began to shake again, more sobs that were all his fault. He should just go. He didn’t want to cause her more pain. Standing up from the bed, he turned toward the door and stepped toward it.

  “Please don’t leave me.” Her words were soft, almost hidden behind her emotion.

  He crossed the room in two steps, joining her on the bed. “I’m here. And I’m never leaving.”

  She turned in his arms, her face buried in his chest. He held her tight as she cried, caressing her, whispering the words he thought she needed to hear. The words he’d repeat until the day he died. And not because she needed to hear them, but because he needed to say them. He needed her to know he meant them.

  They lay there like that for a while, until her breathing slowed, her cries calmed. His tee was soaked through with her tears but he didn’t care.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head.

  “I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I know you’re nothing like Jack.”

  “I don’t blame you for how you felt. He did a really shitty thing and I want to make you forget it.”

  “I want that, too.”

  As he held her, promising to make everything better, he knew the scene tonight could happen again. He couldn’t stop it. He’d never regretted his sexual past until now. Until it could interfere with his future and the only woman he’d ever loved. He’d have to find a way to make sure he never hurt Penny like this again.

  ---------

  PENNY OPENED her eyes, sunlight streaming through her window. She was still in her jeans and Red Brick tee, Theo the same. Scarlett was snuggled between them, still in doggie dreamland. She looked at Theo, his slow even breaths, so gorgeous. Such an amazing man.

  When she’d left The Red Brick Inn, she’d assumed the worst. That she’d been replaced—again—by a slutty woman. She couldn’t help that her brain had jumped to the worst conclusion. But when she’d seen them, the crazy had completely taken over. It couldn’t happen again, or she really would lose him.

  She gazed at his face—his nose, his lips, the stubble dotting his chin and cheeks. She wanted to touch him, pull him close, cover him with kisses, but she didn’t want to wake him. Instead she slipped out of bed to the kitchen. Breakfast in bed, served by her, in nothing but a little apron. Her fantasy from the other day could totally still happen.

  She whipped up some pancakes and sliced some strawberries and melon. She then nuked a few frozen breakfast sausage links. It wasn’t gourmet, but it was Penny style. At least until she could learn to make better breakfasts.

  After setting it all on a tray, she shed her Red Brick uniform and tied on a little apron. She remembered the impulse purchase from
awhile back, when she’d been excited to get pregnant and learn to be the perfect mom and wife for Jack. Had to have the proper attire! That silly dream was gone, but she could still get some use out of the apron. And this was going to be far more fun.

  When she walked back into her bedroom, Theo was flat on his back with Scarlett curled up on his chest. One hand scratched her between the ears. The sight made her heart swell. It was probably the closest she’d ever come to having a family, and she was starting to be fine with that.

  “Good morning!”

  He turned to her, his eyes bugging out when he realized what she was presenting. And she was pretty sure it wasn’t the pancakes.

  “Well, good morning to you, too.”

  “Hungry?” She stepped closer.

  “Hell yeah.” He sat up and Scarlett jumped off the bed, looking perturbed. “You look delicious.”

  She set the tray across his lap. “Bon appétit.”

  “I can’t eat with you standing there like that.”

  “No? I can leave.” She turned, showing off her bare backside.

  “Don’t you dare take another step,” he demanded, desire in his voice. He lifted the tray as he stood and set it on the vanity, then stepped to her, his hands reaching around for her ass, fingers pressing into her flesh, and he lifted her up. “First I’m going to devour you. Then we’ll have food after.”

  He tossed her onto the bed and stripped down to nothing, leaving not one square inch of skin unkissed. The misery of the night before melted away with each lick, each nip. Every “I love you” he whispered blew away another ex from his list. None of them mattered. Only the two of them mattered and the future they planned to build . . . together.

  CHAPTER Twenty-Seven

  Penny headed into Classy ’n’ Sassy for the afternoon shift. Until she could find something new, she’d keep her head down, do her job, and earn the money she so desperately needed. She’d started browsing the want ads in the paper and online. A few things interested her, but she’d yet to make any calls.

  “Good afternoon!” Mia greeted her.

  “Uh . . . hello.”