All Fired Up

by Madelynne Ellis

  Ginny cuddled him close while their bodies continued to dance together in an age-old rhythm. She wished she understood why he was so damned insecure. Something was behind it, and she didn’t think it was just because his life was so up in the clouds most days that it was impossible to see the ground.

  ‘Squeeze me tighter,’ he insisted, while pushing her away from his body. They were both dripping with sweat, and the front of his long hair was stuck to his skin. His hands went to her breasts and played with her nipples, while she did as he asked and hugged him with her inner muscles.

  ‘Feels so good, like you’re pulling me right in.’

  It took concentration, which she didn’t have much of when he was doing her this good, but he was right, it did feel amazing. Ginny continued to flutter the muscles of her sheath around him as he pushed upwards so that she was sitting in his lap, and his hands were in her hair and his lips desperately savaging her open mouth. Her finger curled against his back, scratching the skin.

  Her climax almost sneaked up on her. She didn’t realise how close he’d brought her until her body started to convulse, and her breathing turned into one long gasp.

  ‘Hold on. Hold on,’ Ash begged, his teeth gritted as he made their bodies slap together a little hard. ‘I’m almost … Oh, God. Oh, Ginny, hold on. I’m almost there.’

  Her muscles trembled, protesting as she fought to hold off the inevitable. The moment she felt his cock pulse inside her, she let go, let the endorphin rush wash over her and make everything so goddamned right. Even the pulse of her orgasm seemed to coincide perfectly with his equally powerful release.

  ‘Yes, I love you,’ she admitted. She loved him and she loved being this close to him. She prayed the feeling would never fade or grow old.

  It wasn’t unusual for Ash to have tears in his eyes after they made love. He lost it completely when he came, was flattened by his emotions, but she’d never genuinely seen him cry like this, with tears running down his cheeks and his mewls of content transformed into sobs.

  ‘Ash?’

  He buried his face against her shoulder. ‘I don’t want to let go.’

  ‘Shh.’ She stroked his head. ‘You don’t have to. You don’t ever have to.’

  ‘But I do. I need to be on the stupid tour bus in about forty seconds.’

  ‘Forty seconds’ she took as a slight exaggeration. If the tour bus needed to depart that soon, someone would have come to get him. Still, even so. ‘Why’s that a problem? You’ve a bunk, haven’t you, that we can finish this in?’

  To her surprise, he started shaking his head. ‘No, we can’t.’ He looked up at her. His cheeks were flushed from their recent exertion, rosy across their ridges. A little of her lipstick was smeared across his jaw, but his brows were furrowed in a way that not even the long fringe of hair that half-covered his face could hide. ‘You can’t come on the bus.’

  ‘What?’ she said, as the implications of that sentence sank in. ‘Why not?’ OK, Ash had never specifically told her that she could join him on the tour, but neither had he given the impression she wasn’t invited. ‘If you’re joking, or you’re going to state some poxy rule about no one but the band being allowed on the bus, then I’m not going to be impressed. And it’s bollocks anyway. I know perfectly well that Dani’s accompanying Xane.’

  ‘That’s different,’ he mumbled, his gaze sliding away from her face to a point someway down her body.

  ‘How so? Dani’s Xane’s girlfriend, and I’m yours.’

  ‘People know about them. They don’t know about us, and that’s how I want to keep it.’

  ‘S’cuse me!’ Ginny scuttled out of his lap and stood looking down at him, hurt and confused. ‘I don’t understand. Do you mean the rest of the band aren’t aware that we’re an item?’

  He covered his face with one hand as he shook his head.

  ‘Ash, how can they not know? They’re your friends.’

  ‘Because I haven’t told them. He scraped one hand through his hair, so that he held the strands away from his face, and looked at her. ‘And I don’t intend to.’

  All she could do was gape at him, while attempting to make her vocal cords work. ‘But … but … are you embarrassed by me?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Am I OK to shag, but not good enough to be seen with in public?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then why?’

  He shook his head slowly, making his black hair swish. ‘I’m sorry.’ He rose to his feet and tried to embrace her, but Ginny shifted backwards out of his reach.

  ‘Don’t just try to kiss me, as if it’ll make everything better. You need to give me a proper explanation. Why doesn’t anyone know about us, Ash?’

  ‘Because it’s none of their damn business,’ he snapped. He wrenched up his jeans and buckled the belt. ‘What we have is between us. Nobody else needs to have anything to do with it.’

  ‘So I can’t come on tour with you, because you don’t want to admit you’re in a relationship?’ She was flabbergasted, shocked down to her toes. She knew he’d kept things quiet, and she’d thought it odd earlier when she’d been left to hang with the band’s groupies, while Dani had been given direct access to the dressing rooms. Maybe the truth was that he wasn’t quite as attached to her as she’d let herself think.

  ‘Spook, does he know?’

  ‘Yes.’

  That was something. ‘But not the rest of the band.’

  He shook his head again.

  ‘I don’t get it, Ash. I don’t understand. You’re saying I can’t come with you because they don’t know. Can’t we just tell them?’

  ‘No.’

  The threat of tears started to prick the corners of her eyes. Ginny blinked, refusing to cry. ‘Why not? Explain it to me, because things aren’t really adding up for me. We just …’ She glanced at the floor and the sofa. ‘And you said …’ She let the accusation peter out. She ought to know better than to trust anything anybody said in the throes of passion.

  ‘Ginny, I do. I do love you. And I value what we’ve got, which is why you can’t come on the tour with me. I love being with you, but I don’t want to share you with the rest of the world. I don’t want us to be a string of headlines and dodgy internet videos. That’s what’ll happen if we’re seen together. It’ll be our lives in the spotlight, every tiny detail analysed, exposed and dissected. Christ, you’ve seen what they’ve printed about Xane and Dani. Is that what you want for us? I want time for us to get to know one another on our terms.’

  ‘You mean your terms. Why would anyone pay attention to us? The only reason they paid attention to Dani and Xane is that he’d just walked off stage and split the band up. Otherwise, I doubt they’d even have made the side column of the Sunday edition.’

  ‘If you honestly think that then you’re a fool.’

  Yeah, she apparently was, a really fucking enormous fool.

  ‘Seriously, Ginny, have you ever had the press camped out on your doorstep? Have you been mobbed in the street? They’ll splash every detail of your life across the tabloids. Call up every man you’ve ever so much as kissed and have him tell his story. There’ll be no privacy, and no opportunity to just relax together and enjoy ourselves. Why do you think I didn’t draw attention to us when I came off stage?’

  His fear of all those things happening seemed real, she accepted that. And no, of course she didn’t want her past relationships to be headline news, but that didn’t take the sting out of him not wanting her around.

  ‘What am I supposed to do then, Ash? Sit at home while you shag your way around Europe. ’Cause that’s not going to happen.’

  ‘I wouldn’t expect you to. And stop making this into a fight. I’m not going to shag anyone, Ginny. The only person I want is you.’

  ‘You say that now, but once you get on the road –’

  ‘– it won’t change anything. It’s not like I can just substitute you. You know you’re the only one who makes me come.’

  That
wasn’t strictly true, but the statement did provoke a smile from her.

  ‘And I’ve told my mum about you, so it’s not as if I haven’t told anyone, just the important people.’

  Ginny paused, her mouth open, as whatever it was she’d been about to say escaped her thoughts. Ash was devoted to his family. He spent hours on the phone to them. The fact that he’d spoken to them about her was more commitment than she’d ever expected from him. It was certainly a bigger deal than him opening up to his bandmates.

  ‘You told your mum about us?’

  ‘Yeah.’ He gave her an ever so slightly goofy grin. ‘Think I made her day. She’s been praying I’d find myself a nice girl to settle down with since I was old enough to date. She wants you to come for Christmas. I said yes, as long as she swore not to mention babies.’

  ‘Christmas is six … seven months away.’

  He bit his lip. ‘I know. It’s going to be majorly awkward if things happen that mean we can’t make it.’

  ‘Babies?’

  He grimaced.

  Ginny steepled her fingers and then covered her face. ‘Could you please start making sense? How can you agree to us attending the family Christmas and have a discussion about babies, yet get weird about me coming on tour with you and the band? You do realise that people normally do things the other way round? Friends first, then the family?’

  Ash scratched his chin. ‘My family aren’t going to sell us out. And I didn’t say you couldn’t come on the tour, or that we couldn’t see one another. I just said you couldn’t ride on the bus.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Honestly, woman, how long do you think I’m going to last without seeing you, considering what you reduce me to?’ He claimed her hand and tugged her into his embrace. ‘You make me demented.’ He brushed a stray wisp of hair from her face, then kissed her brow and her lips. ‘Ginny, I’ll be lucky if I last more than a few hours without you before I’m ready to crawl up the walls. I have to share a bunk room with Xane and Dani, you know, and you can be damn sure he won’t be keeping his hands off her, or even attempting to be circumspect about it. He’s a complete shag monster. My antics are nothing next to his.’ He leaned close so that his warm breath tickled the shell of her ear. ‘I’m going to be horny as hell, and desperate for you.’

  ‘And where do you envisage me being?’ She was lost. Really astonishingly lost.

  ‘Somewhere reasonably close by. I took the liberty of making a few arrangements. We can’t be together all the time, but that doesn’t mean we have to be apart all the time either. And we’ll talk.’ He dug in his pocket and proudly showed her his new phone, with her number already set to speed dial.

  ‘And rendezvous.’

  ‘Why, when you say that, do I imagine disguises, and white carnations?’

  ‘Because it’ll be fun. We’ll dress up. I’ll wear glasses and a trilby, and we can leave each other coded messages. Doesn’t that sound more romantic than being holed up on a tour bus with a dozen sweaty men?’

  Maybe it did. She liked the idea of him in a trilby, and maybe a pinstriped suit. Then again, she wasn’t averse to the notion of being confined with several heavy rock stars, except maybe it was possible to overdose on man candy, and she had to remember she wasn’t a free agent any more.

  ‘OK, maybe it’s starting to sound interesting. So, where does our first tryst take place?’

  ‘On the Chunnel. I’m sure we can find a quiet spot. Then in Paris, after that. I’ll send you all the details.’

  Ginny nodded. She still couldn’t quite squash the disappointment over not going with him tonight, but at least she had something to look forward to. It wasn’t ideal, but it was something, and that something was better than the possibility of them not being together at all.

  She entwined her arms around his middle and breathed in deeply the smell of his skin. ‘You know, if we’re going to be apart for that long, I think I need to say goodbye to you some more before you go.’

  ‘I’m totally with you on that.’ He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. ‘Phone me every night, even if we’ve already spoken a million times that day. I want your voice to be the last thing I hear before I sleep.’

  She nipped at the faint trace of stubble lining his jaw. ‘What makes you think I’m going to let you sleep? If I’m calling you last thing at night it won’t be to sing you a lullaby.’

  ‘No?’ He wrinkled his brows as if in disappointment. ‘What will it be for?’

  ‘To torture the fuck out of you with my dirty thoughts, of course.’

  ‘You’re going to talk dirty to me?’ She heard the catch of excitement in this throat. ‘Babe,’ he purred, ‘you’re way too good to me.’

  Chapter 4

  Paris, France.

  Dinner had seemed like such a good idea when Spook had suggested it. Seriously, what wasn’t to like about the idea of decent food, in a nice restaurant, and someone else footing the bill? However, that had been before the adrenalin rush of the Paris gig had worn off, and he’d had to talk Iain down from the rafters. Ash didn’t recall Iain being quite so big a diva when they’d played together in the past. Apparently these days he didn’t take criticism at all well. He was rather peeved himself that Iain had screwed up ‘Fatal Error’, since it was normally a major crowd-pleaser, but he’d had to bite his tongue, given that the rest of the band were already seething and they couldn’t actually afford to give him the boot, or see him walk. Without a drummer, the whole tour would collapse, and none of them could afford for that to happen. This perhaps explained why they were all tolerating his motor-mouthed yapping too. Iain had hardly paused for breath in the last forty minutes and Ash was beginning to suspect he’d taken something, but he sure as hell didn’t want to suggest that at the dinner table, because it’d be an instant tour-killer.

  And, if he was being honest, he needed this tour. Touring was easy, it made life ridiculously simple: they drove about, they played gigs, he ate, slept and fucked. It wasn’t real, and it wasn’t complicated. He didn’t want to deal with real life right now. Reality was a total screw-up.

  Xane leaned towards him, his long black hair falling forward to shroud his angular face. ‘If he doesn’t shut his trap soon, I swear I’m going to throw something at him.’

  Ash caught Xane’s wrist as he reached for a bread roll. Although he was relieved it was only food missiles Xane was considering – there were steak knives on the table.

  ‘He’s nervous, is all. Iain always talks when he’s nervous.’ Not entirely true, but he needed to find some explanation for Iain’s behaviour. ‘Give him a chance to settle in. It’s only been a few days, and you did all lay into him when we came off stage tonight.’

  Actually, they’d all given him hell every night since the tour began, nearly a week ago.

  Xane withdrew his hand, but rolled his eyes at the notion that they’d given Iain a hard time. ‘What the fuck were you thinking, Ash? He’s so wrong for us, it’s depressing.’

  ‘He’s a drummer. That makes him perfect for us.’

  Xane gave him the sort of look that would have made anyone else wither. Ash refused to shrivel.

  ‘He pisses me off – deliberately.’

  ‘That’s a bit of an overstatement. He messed up one song, Xane. And I hardly think he did it deliberately. Why would he? We’re his ticket into the big league.’

  ‘Yeah, well, maybe that’s my issue. I don’t like freeloaders hanging off my coat-tails.’

  ‘So work him harder.’

  Xane smiled grimly. ‘Oh, I will. Don’t worry about that.’

  ‘Whose phone’s vibrating?’ Spook asked, his native Swedish lilt coming through, a sure indication that he was stressed. The rest of the conversation around the table had stopped.

  ‘Heck, mine.’ Ash fished the damn thing out of his pocket and swiped a finger across the dimmed screen to waken it. It was a little late in the evening for his mum to be calling; she’d be in bed with one of her be
loved mystery novels by now. There were only two other people with his number and one of them, Spook, was sitting next to him.

  You never told me what a nice guy your driver is. Ginny’s message flashed up.

  Shit! Ginny. What with one thing after another post show, the fact he was meant to meet her had completely slipped his mind. Although, hang on. He checked the time. He wasn’t due at the Arc de Triomphe until midnight. Why was she texting him now?

  Where are you? He typed and hit send.

  On your bunk. Flicking through your porn.

  Really, where are you?

  Your bunk.

  She couldn’t really be on the tour bus. Troels, their driver, wouldn’t let her on. OK, he might, depending on what Ginny had said, and if he believed he was doing Ash a favour. It wasn’t as if the band’s resident Cave Troll hadn’t sneaked a girl or two on board in the past for him.

  Why don’t you come and check if you don’t believe me? It’s all quiet here, no one’s home. It’s just me and a lot of empty beds. Whose do you think we should try out first?

  Ash shot to his feet.

  Maybe Xane’s? No. Spook’s. We can rumple all his neat edges and give his mattress springs a workout. It’ll be the only action they ever see if your assertions he’s celibate are to be believed.

  ‘Ginny, you’d better be pissing with me,’ he mumbled. What in the name of hell was she playing at? She’d seemed fine with their arrangement the last time he’d seen her. They’d had a lot of fun playing Secret Agent and Spy on the train under the English Channel.

  ‘Where the hell are you going?’ Rock Giant asked, when Ash pulled on his leather jacket.

  ‘I’m …’ He stalled, having failed to invent an adequate answer. ‘Off,’ he concluded. He turned to Spook, hoping his friend would understand why this was important. If he didn’t make the connection now, then Ash would explain it later. ‘Sorry. I’ve really got to go. Something’s come up.’

  ‘Can it not wait until dessert? At least finish your meal.’