Winning the Cowboy

by Emma St Clair

  “I get it. I do. But I can’t just stand by and read those things and not do something.”

  “I don’t need your help, Elton! I. Don’t. Need. You.”

  All the fight left him, and Elton blew out a breath, rubbing one hand over his face. Okay. She didn’t need him. Her words spun around like a pinball in his mind. Everything they touched lit up. This morning had left him entirely too raw, because he didn’t think he could rationally handle these words right now.

  He started to walk from the room, heading for the stairs. Adele dropped her arms to her side, her eyes wide, as though she realized suddenly what she said.

  “Where are you going?” she whispered.

  “Upstairs. I’ve changed my mind about church.”

  “You’re not coming?”

  He couldn’t let himself be moved by the hurt in her voice. It couldn’t possibly match the ache in his own chest. “Easton’s still going with you. He’s your preferred twin, right?”

  Without waiting for a response, Elton stomped up the stairs, tugging off his shirt as he went. Maybe Adele hadn’t meant the words exactly how he had taken them. Maybe he had overstepped the bounds by arguing with all the trolls on Instagram.

  Elton was no stranger to making mistakes. Crossing lines and pushing boundaries. But this morning, it had suddenly started to feel abundantly clear to him that maybe the time had come to stop fighting. Fighting with Adele, fighting for Adele. He wasn’t sure he knew the difference anymore.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Adele

  This is what I wanted, Adele reminded herself, looking down at Easton’s thigh brushing hers. But she shouldn’t have had to remind herself. She shouldn’t be wishing that the chairs were spaced farther apart at church.

  And she definitely shouldn’t be thinking about Elton when his brother was beside her.

  Why did she have to yell at him this morning?

  Adele closed her eyes, which was fitting, because the pastor was praying. Her mind drifted, despite her attempts to follow his words. She kept seeing Elton’s face. Not the angry one, when she had first stepped into his kitchen, poking a finger into his chest.

  She was haunted by the memory of his face after she told him that she didn’t need him. He looked crushed. Why had she taken it so far? Even though he had caused trouble, she could have handled the whole thing differently. She should have been more understanding. He really was trying to be nice. Chivalrous, even.

  And then he had made the comment about her preferred twin …

  She squeezed her eyes even more tightly shut. Of course Elton thought she liked Easton. Cilla told Adele more than once that she was trying too hard, being too obvious. Now, she wished she could take it all back. Every flirtation, every look, every attempt to get Easton’s attention. It horrified her to think that Elton knew she had a crush on his brother.

  Emphasis on had. Because it was abundantly clear from the moment she and Easton pulled away from the house this morning that her feelings had shifted.

  She wanted to groan when she remembered that Easton was her date to the wedding. How awkward would it be if she backed out now? Then again, he hadn’t seemed very excited about saying yes … maybe this would all be a quick fix.

  The pastor was still going up front, which made her feel even worse, since she was totally distracted.

  Lord, I’ve made a mess. I’ve really stepped in it this time. Help me to fix this. Gracefully. Kindly. And help me to focus this morning.

  “Amen,” the pastor said.

  “Amen,” Adele muttered.

  She tried to focus. That’s one thing she loved about this church, which met in a bodybuilding gym. Usually, she came home with little pieces of the Astroturf flooring in her shoes. The church she had grown up in was more traditional. It was beautiful, with more classical music, stained glass windows, and formal dress. There was a place for that, but right now, stripping everything away and worshipping alongside people in jeans or even gym shorts felt real and honest.

  Today, though, Adele felt twitchy. Anything but honest. Especially as Easton rested his arm on the back of her chair when the sermon started. She glanced at him, blinking rapidly. He gave her a slow smile. The kind of smile she had been hoping to see for months.

  She didn’t want it today. Jerking her head back to the front of the room, she tried to stiffen her back so that his forearm barely grazed her back. The touch, instead of electrifying her or stirring up attraction, only agitated her.

  Was this some kind of joke?

  For at least a year or more, she had been pining after Easton. Heck, she even found him attractive back in high school.

  Now, she wanted Elton. The playboy. The bad boy. The guy she couldn’t seem to stop yelling at. And here, after all this time, was Easton. If she wasn’t wrong, he was suddenly making a play for her.

  Lord. Help me. This is a mess of my own doing. Will you help me undo it?

  Adele jumped out of her seat as soon as the last song finished. She had to get out of here. Easton followed her out as she practically ran to her car. She dropped the keys at least twice before Easton bent down and picked them up, palming them in his hand. She leaned her back against the car and closed her eyes.

  “Thanks.”

  “You okay, Adele?”

  His voice sounded too close. When she opened her eyes, Easton had moved in, his chest almost pressing against hers. His voice was warm against her cheek. She was trapped, unable to back up any more than she already had. He smelled of leather and cloves. It was a good smell. But it was not Elton.

  “Fine,” she managed to choke out. “I just, um …”

  She couldn’t locate the right words. The funny thing was that if it were Elton, she would have zero trouble finding her voice. And she wouldn’t have let him crowd her like this, not unless she wanted him to. In fact, she probably would have shoved him away. The thought brought a small smile to her lips.

  Adele cleared her throat and lifted her free hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. But that was a mistake. Easton was standing so close that lifting her hand meant it dragged along his chest.

  Easton must have seen this as an invitation, because his gaze dropped to her lips. And then, before Adele could react, he closed the distance between them and kissed her.

  It only took a moment for her fight-or-flight instinct to kick in, and she yanked her mouth away as she slapped his cheek with an open palm.

  Easton stumbled back, though her slap had hardly been more than a quick smack. His hand went up to his face, his eyes wide with shock.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought … you were … I mean, don’t you—”

  “No.” Adele squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head. “No, Easton. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

  “Okay. But you don’t want me kissing you? Or … you do? I’m confused.”

  “I like Elton.”

  Easton swallowed. Her words seemed to roll over him in phases. First, his brow furrowed then smoothed. His mouth dipped, then the corners lifted in a wry smile.

  “You two should probably talk,” he muttered, walking around to the passenger side of the car. “Get your stories straight.”

  Adele slid into the seat beside him. Her car felt entirely too small. “Our stories?”

  “Never mind.” Easton clicked his seatbelt and then stared straight out of the windshield.

  “Are you mad?”

  He shook his head. “Not mad. Just feeling a little foolish.”

  “I’m so sorry. That’s really my fault. I didn’t mean to make you think—”

  He held up a hand, but still did not look at her. “No need to explain. I got your message, loud and clear. It’s fine.”

  As she steered the car back toward the Boyd farm, she wondered at his words. It’s fine that she liked Elton? Or that she slapped him? Both?

  But Easton did not say another word until they arrived at the farm. He hopped out of the car before she had fully stopped.
“Thanks for taking me to church. It was refreshing. Except for that last part. Oh, and I don’t think I should be your date to the wedding. Make sure Cilla gets that.” He pointed to the velvet jewelry box he’d left in the seat. “It’s to look for something blue.”

  With that, he slammed the door.

  If Adele were a braver woman, she would have parked the car and gone inside to apologize to Elton for her earlier words.

  But she had already screwed things up with both brothers today. She didn’t trust herself right now to fix them. Instead, she drove home alone, wishing she could start the whole day—or maybe the last few weeks—again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Elton

  It took all of five minutes before Elton regretted his words to his brother. Telling him to go for Adele? No. No. No.

  They were brothers. With a deeper bond than most. But he couldn’t just give up Adele. That had been perhaps his stupidest move, to date.

  Elton watched Adele’s car head back out of the driveway, jealousy and anger and regret burning in his chest. He couldn’t walk away and just hand her over. Ultimately, it was Adele’s choice. Elton wasn’t going to make the decision for her by stepping back.

  If his brother really liked Adele, he should have been pursuing her all along. Easton didn’t deserve to suddenly, after months of acting like he didn’t care, swoop in and get the girl. Nope.

  Grabbing the car keys, he jogged to his Hummer. Climbing inside the luxury vehicle with all the upgrades he’d paid dearly for, Elton decided that one of the first orders of business would be to sell this thing.

  He needed a sensible car. One that would take him from point A to point B. And he also needed a point A to go to. Namely, a job. If he could even find one with his record.

  Shaking his head, Elton engaged the Bluetooth. “Call the Sleazy Lawyer.” He should also probably change Ben’s name in his phone to his actual name, rather than an insult.

  “Yo, Benny.”

  “My favorite convicted felon.” Ben sounded like he was just waking up.

  “It doesn’t matter that I drive myself to church, right? Just so long as I go there and back?”

  “Ah … yeah. That’s fine. The monitor doesn’t show who’s driving. I think if you get pulled over—which, please do not—you need to let the officer know. That may not be a requirement but just a good idea. What church?”

  “It’s one called Haven? Some new church that Adele goes to.”

  There was a pause. “That’s my brother’s church. He’s the pastor.”

  Elton laughed. “Your brother is a pastor?”

  “Is that so hard to believe?” Ben asked wryly.

  “Actually yes. So, do you go there?”

  “Not usually.” Elton could hear shuffling on the other end of the phone. “But I’ll meet you there.”

  The call disconnected. Okay then. Elton shook his head. Now he was going to be sitting in church with his lawyer as well as Adele and Easton. A real party.

  When Elton pulled up outside the metal building, he wondered if he was in the right place. It looked like one of those basic, old-fashioned gyms before working out became trendy. A sandwich board sign with a modern logo read HAVEN, so this must be it. He caught sight of Adele’s car down the row. Just seeing it made his stomach twist.

  Was she still mad? Was he being ridiculous, thinking he wanted to give this a chance? Easton was the better choice.

  And if she wants him, I’ll back off. I will. But not before I fight to be the kind of man she deserves.

  Ben texted, asking him to wait. But after a few minutes, people stopped filing inside. He had to be late by now. Ben could find him inside.

  He made his way toward music in the back of the building. It was quiet, only a few people working out on the basic weight sets. There were photos on the wall of powerlifters and bodybuilders. Huh. This might be the kind of place Elton could get into—after he was allowed to leave his house anyway. His home gym in the back barn was nice but basic. Lonely.

  At the back of the building, an open door revealed a smaller back room with Astroturf and various boxes for jumping and agility ladders, all pushed to the side, making room for white folding chairs.

  This was quite a different vibe from his parents’ church, the one he had grown up in. Still, he had to take a deep breath before crossing the threshold and entering the room.

  Here goes nothing, God. I don’t have much to offer, but I’m here.

  The music was just wrapping up, a few guitars and singers with a small drum set. Elton didn’t see Adele or his brother yet, and most of the rows were full.

  “Here you go.” A man in a muscle shirt and gym shorts unfolded a few more chairs, making a new back row.

  “Thanks,” Elton whispered as he took a seat.

  He scanned the room until he found Adele and Easton. Just seeing them together made his eye twitch.

  “Let’s pray,” the pastor said.

  Elton took a good look at the broad-shouldered man at the front. He was wide where Ben was tall. He had a thick beard and wore a baseball cap backwards. Dark brown hair spilled out the back. Okay, then. That this guy was related to Ben was a harder fact to swallow than the fact that his lawyer had a pastor for a brother.

  Realizing he was the only one looking around during the prayer, he bowed his head. Clearing his mind to listen to the pastor’s words felt like a battle. Sweat broke out on his forehead. His hands tightened into fists.

  Until this moment, Elton hadn’t allowed himself to realize just how angry he was with God for taking his parents.

  For years, he had numbed himself to feeling their loss. To being honest about his grief and his anger. He had felt like he should have been able to deal with their loss as a twenty-one-year-old man. He wasn’t a kid, losing his mommy. That’s what he told himself as he had shoved all the feelings down.

  Had Easton done the same?

  He and his brother really should have talked, should have worked through this together. Instead, it was like they went to their separate corners of the farm, going through the motions of life. Alone.

  Maybe he should leave. Being angry with God in church was some kind of sin, right?

  As he was about to stand, Ben sat down beside him. “Hey,” Ben whispered.

  Elton could only nod. He closed his eyes and bowed his head again. He couldn’t very well run now.

  “Amen.”

  Ben nudged him. “That’s my older brother, Nathan. Shocking, right?”

  “Clearly, he got the good looks of the family.”

  Ben snorted and a little girl a few rows up turned to stare. Elton focused on Nathan, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was Ben’s brother. He had so many questions. At least they kept his mind away from Easton and Adele. For a minute. They were harder to see, unless the tall man a few rows up shifted, and then he had a perfect view of how close they were.

  As he watched, Easton put his arm around Adele. Elton swallowed down the acid rising in his throat. When the tall man shifted again, they dropped out of sight. It didn’t do much to settle his stomach at the sight of seeing Easton and Adele. But with some effort, he steadied his breathing and focused on the front of the room.

  “Contrary to what people think,” Nathan was saying, “God doesn’t expect his church to be filled with perfect people. In fact, he’s well aware of the sins in this room.”

  There were a few chuckles around the room, but Elton shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Had Ben told his brother about him?

  “Maybe you even messed up this morning, like I did. I snapped at my wife and was short with my kids. Alisa, will you forgive me?”

  The dark-haired woman who had been singing nodded from the front row, smiling.

  Wow. This guy was honest. Elton felt a longing at the way it seemed so easy for him to ask for forgiveness. In front of the whole church, no less. But looking around, no one seemed to be judging him for it. Nathan had the whole room’s rapt attention. Eve
n Elton had to admit that he admired the man more for admitting weakness and being up front about it. Weren’t pastors supposed to be perfect? Or pretend to be?

  It was refreshing. Every word felt like it helped loosen whatever was bound up so tightly in his chest.

  “Whether you think you’ve messed up in a big way or a small way, you are welcome here. Not just because I’m saying so. God invites you to the feast. He says to come. No matter what you’re wearing, where you’ve been, or what you’ve done.”

  Elton struggled to keep his breathing even. He didn’t know if he was breaking apart or coming together.

  Nathan went on. “We aren’t dressed for a feast, but God invites us anyway. He cleans us up and dresses us. That’s how much he wants us to be with him. To be here, this morning. You aren’t here by accident today.”

  Elton didn’t plan to get up and walk out of the room. His feet moved, his body almost on autopilot until he was standing outside, blinking in the bright sunlight. He laced his fingers behind his head, pacing along the metal building.

  “You okay?” The heavy doors slammed shut behind Ben.

  His lawyer was the one coming after him. This whole morning was so messed up.

  “I’m … not sure.”

  Ben nodded, like he got it. Maybe he did.

  But Elton didn’t have time to ask or even think about it because two cop cars pulled into the parking lot, lights flashing.

  It wasn’t until the officers jumped out of the car, weapons drawn, that Elton realized that they were there for him.

  As they jerked the cuffs on and shoved him in the back of the car, Elton shot a look at Ben.

  “Little help, please?”

  Ben had a cell phone up to his ear. He covered it with his hand. “Working on it. Apparently, they didn’t register this as a church. Since it’s in a gym. Technical detail.”

  “Doesn’t feel very technical,” Elton muttered as they shut the door.

  As they drove away, Ben held up a finger, like he would have Elton out in a minute. Hopefully, he would. But maybe some time in a cell would force Elton to really think about the things that he had been confronted with today. Jail might be just what he needed.