Ready-Made Bride

by Janelle Denison

  No, it couldn’t be. Her stomach rolled. Hands trembling, she forced herself to reach for the paper and smooth out the folds. She held in her hands the note she’d written for Kane three days ago, the same one he’d denied seeing. She moaned, the wounded sound distant to her own ears. But the pain of his betrayal sliced straight to her heart.

  Questions flooded her mind faster than she could catalogue them. Why would Kane ignore her note? And why would he lie about finding it? She desperately sought answers, thinking over the past couple of weeks and linking Kane’s behavior to each situation that had distanced him more and more. Like a recorded video on fast forward, scenes tumbled through her mind. The panic in his gaze when she’d given him that grocery list, his never having a checking account and paying everything with cash, his insistence on a tutor for Andrew, his insecurities about his woodwork, those unopened letters from his sister…

  Like threads in an intricate weaving, every occurrence pulled the interlacing tighter, presenting her with only one logical conclusion.

  The truth rippled through her like an electrical shock, and the note slipped from her hand and fluttered to the floor.

  “Oh, my God,” she breathed.

  Kane knew something was wrong the moment he stepped through the back door into the kitchen and saw Megan sitting so calmly at the kitchen table.

  The sight of her red-rimmed eyes, pink nose and pale complexion tipped him off that she’d been crying. Worry gripped him until something crinkled in her hands. His eyes dropped to her lap. Very slowly, very deliberately, she placed a wrinkled piece of paper on the table for him to see.

  His gaze shot to hers. She didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to. Gut instinct told him she knew. His body tensed, his barriers going up automatically. He put his lunch box on the counter and retrieved a beer from the refrigerator, taking his time while he waited for accusations to fly.

  It had been a mistake to take the note and stuff it in his pocket when he’d found it, but he’d been so frustrated and angry it had been a reflex action. One he regretted. It had been a bigger mistake that he’d forgotten about the note, but guilt had consumed his mind and blocked out all coherent thoughts.

  And now he’d pay the price for his stupidity. He wondered if it would cost him his marriage-for the second time. The thought of losing Megan wrenched at his heart. What if she didn’t want him after this confrontation was over? And he knew it was coming. Like a brewing storm he could feel the tension, knew it was a matter of time before the fury hit and wiped out everything in its wake. His stomach twisted, and he washed down the bitterness rising in his throat with a long swallow of beer.

  He leaned against the counter and looked at her. “Where’s Andrew?” he asked, his voice as rough and bristly as he felt.

  “Cleaning his room.” Her soft voice belied the ruthless intent in her gaze. “I want to know why you lied to me about the note.”

  A lie sprang to his lips, a natural, involuntary action he’d honed over the years. More lies to cover up an endless string of lies that would never end, just get more difficult to cover up.

  He let out a long, hissing breath. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” But causing her pain was all he’d ever done. He hated himself for that.

  “It hurts me that you think you have to hide the truth from me.”

  Denial was strong and even harder to dismiss when he’d spent a lifetime dodging the truth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Finishing his beer, he tossed the bottle into the container under the sink and headed for the back door.

  She came out of her seat and cut him off, her eyes blazing with a fierce and furious light. “Yes, you do, and you’re not walking away until this is settled.”

  He glared at her even as he fought the urge to haul her into his arms, crush her to his chest and never let her go. He was scared, he realized, scared of what the truth would mean to her. Terrified of rejection, and of disappointing the woman who’d come to mean more to him than he had ever dreamed possible.

  “What do you want from me?” he asked, his throat clogged with a multitude of emotions.

  “I want your trust” I want your love, her eyes said. She cupped her hand over his cheek, her gentle touch unraveling something deep within him. “I want to hear the truth, the real truth that’s tearing us apart, from your lips.”

  She knew. No matter how he denied the inevitable, it wouldn’t go away. And he was so damned tired of bluffing, deceptions and lies. The turmoil of the past months boiled to the surface.

  “You want the truth, Megan?” he asked, using anger as a defense. Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her hand away before she could snatch it back when he confessed his darkest secret. “The truth is, I can’t read.” He steeled himself, waiting for the horrified expression he’d dreaded seeing since the day they married.

  Instead, compassion softened her features. “Oh, Kane, why didn’t you tell me?”

  He dropped her hand and moved away, clawing his fingers through his hair. “What am I supposed to say? Oh, by the way, I can’t read, and sorry, honey, I’ll never amount to much of anything-”

  “Stop it, Kane,” she said vehemently.

  But he was on a course straight to self-destruction and couldn’t stop himself. The frustration and bitterness of a lifetime came rushing forward, and he was helpless to stop any of it. “It’s true! I never finished school. Hell, I think the last grade I attended was second, and after my mother died I had to raise my baby sister while my dad worked to support us.” The whole story spilled out, how his father insisted his son learn to earn a living, and how grateful Kane had been for his father’s misdirected guidance, because he was able to support himself and his sister when his dad died. The sacrifices he’d made had been necessary to survive but had cost him an education.

  When it was over, he sank into a chair and hung his head in his hands so he wouldn’t have to look at Megan. Christ, what had he done? If he was lucky, she’d just leave him alone in his misery.

  Megan wasn’t one to give up.

  Her warmth and unique feminine scent surrounded him, then her hand touched his back. His muscles jumped and pulled tight. She rubbed lightly, but he wouldn’t let go of the tension. It was the only thing holding him together.

  “You can learn to read,” she said.

  His head snapped up, and he scowled at her. “God, Megan, don’t you think I’ve tried that?”

  “On your own?” she guessed.

  “Yes, and it’s nothing but a frustrating, degrading experience.”

  She sat in the chair next to him, so close their knees nearly touched. “Why haven’t you asked anyone for help?”

  His laughter lacked humor. “Because I’m not about to risk the entire town learning I’m illiterate and humiliate myself that way again.”

  She frowned. “Again?”

  He nodded jerkily. “I only told one person about my illiteracy, and I experienced enough humiliation to last me a lifetime.”

  “Cathy?”

  “Yeah. Not being able to read cost me a job in her daddy’s bank, my marriage, and made my wife miserable enough to want a divorce.”

  Megan gasped, her gaze widening in astonishment and understanding. “Oh, my God, that’s why you refused the job Harold offered you.”

  A bitter smile twisted his lips. “You can’t exactly bluff your way through correspondence, reports and contracts.”

  She shook her head, confused. “But Harold doesn’t know you’re illiterate.”

  “That’s because his daughter was too embarrassed and ashamed to let everyone know she married someone stupid,” he said harshly. “Thankfully, she took my secret to her grave.”

  Anger flashed across Megan’s features. “You’re not stupid.”

  Restless energy burned through his veins. He bolted out of his seat and across the kitchen, then whirled to face her, hands clenched at his sides. “I sure as hell feel like it when I can’t even read a goddamn note that you leave for me!”


  She stood and crossed to him, tears shimmering in her eyes. Eyes that wanted to understand him, help him, love him. If only he’d let her.

  Standing in front of him, lip trembling and a single tear escaping, she whispered achingly, “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

  His jaw hardened. “Dammit, Megan, I don’t want your pity!”

  “I’m not crying because I pity you, you big lug,” she said, grabbing a handful of his shirt and giving him a furious shake. “I hurt for you.”

  He didn’t touch her, but lord, he wanted to. He wanted to sink his fingers into her silky hair, kiss her lips and wake from this horrible nightmare with her arms around him. But this was living reality, and he wasn’t worth those tears welling in her eyes and trickling over her lashes.

  He looked away, anywhere but in those velvet blue eyes that reached into his heart and soul and tugged like nothing he’d ever experienced. He couldn’t respond for the lump in his throat.

  “I came into this marriage with very few expectations, Kane,” she said, her voice soft with regret. “I wanted to be a mother for Andrew and I wanted to be your wife. Along the way, I hoped we could come to mean something special to one another. I’d hoped we could share secrets, hopes and fears. I love you, Kane. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

  It meant everything to him. Everything he’d ever hoped for and dreamed of but thought he was destined to live his life without. Hadn’t he learned that love wasn’t always enough?

  “This doesn’t have to be the end, Kane,” she implored. “If you let it, it can be a new beginning.”

  “This is the way it is.” His tone was as gravelly as sandpaper, his heart and mind confused.

  “Fine.”

  With sickening dread and a withering feeling, Kane watched Megan slip the ring from her left hand and place the gold wedding band on the wrinkled note still on the table. The note he couldn’t read.

  She held her head determinedly, but her chin trembled. “When you’re ready to face your illiteracy, and you’re ready to trust me, then we can have a real marriage and be a real family.”

  This time, it was Megan who walked away.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “DAD, what does illiterate mean?”

  Kane lowered the forkful of scrambled eggs midway to his mouth, grateful that Megan was taking a shower. A slow burning sensation crept from the collar of his work shirt and over his face.

  “Why do you want to know?” He winced. Damn, he hadn’t meant to sound so gruff.

  Frowning, Andrew pushed his eggs around on his plate. “‘Cause I heard you and Mom fighting because you’re…” He scrunched up his nose, concentrating. “Illiterate.”

  Kane squirmed in his seat, chagrined and uneasy that his son had overheard their argument and that he was about to learn his father couldn’t read. He wasn’t about to lie to Andrew. There had already been too many deceptions that had torn this household apart.

  “I don’t like it when you guys fight, Dad,” Andrew said before Kane could answer his first question, giving him a brief reprieve.

  “I don’t like it, either.” Having Megan emotionally shut him out for the past three days bothered him more than he cared to admit. The irony of their situation struck him, because now he knew exactly how he’d made her feel all those times he’d pushed her away. Isolated. Lonely. Empty. After he had experienced how warm, open and giving his wife could be, her withdrawal was killing him.

  He carried her wedding band in his pocket, and there wasn’t an hour that ticked by that he didn’t think about what she’d said or recall how devastated he’d felt when she’d removed the ring. Except he feared he lacked the finesse to patch things up. He feared it was too late for apologies.

  He briefly squeezed his eyes shut to ward off the throbbing in his temples. Somehow, he knew an apology wasn’t what Megan was looking for.

  “I think Mom feels bad.” Andrew picked at the crumbs on his piece of toast, giving the task more attention than it warranted. “She doesn’t smile half as much anymore, and she always looks like she’s been crying.”

  Kane swallowed a gulp of hot coffee, trying to save himself from responding to that observation. What was he supposed to say? “Yeah, son, I’m the one making Megan miserable. I’m the one with more pride than sense.” He inwardly groaned at the truth of that statement.

  Even though Megan had pried his deepest, darkest secret from him, not once did she ridicule him, nor had she rejected him, even when he wanted her to so he wouldn’t have to face his own failures, his own shame. The woman was incredible, unwavering in her support even as she walked away from him. When you’re ready to face your illiteracy, and you’re ready to trust me, then we can have a real marriage and be a real family.

  She’d put the ball in his court, and he was floundering, grappling to find just the perfect backhand to return the serve. He was scared of screwing up, but most of all, he feared losing Megan.

  “So what does that big word mean, Dad?”

  They were back to his illiteracy. Drawing a deep breath, he said, “It means I can’t read.” He held what little breath was left in his lungs, waiting for his son to burst out laughing, tease him or slink away in embarrassment

  Andrew looked at his father thoughtfully. “Oh,” he said, then brightened marginally. “I could teach you to read.”

  His son’s unconditional acceptance relieved him. “I’ll think about that”

  Andrew’s support, combined with Megan’s, should have given him enough self-confidence to tackle the world. Yet he couldn’t stop the doubts and the memories of another woman’s rejection.

  Megan was nothing like his first wife, his conscience argued. From the moment he’d met her she’d been nothing but giving and understanding, believing in him even though he gave her no reason to.

  “I hope you guys make up real soon,” Andrew said, bringing Kane back to their conversation. “I want to see her smile and laugh again. And you, too, Dad.” Tears filled his eyes. “I don’t want you and Megan to be like how it is between you and Grandpa and Grandma Linden.”

  Aw, hell. Lately, it seemed he’d caused the people in his life nothing but heartache and tears. Megan was right. He was selfish, thinking only of himself and not the needs of his family. He’d used his illiteracy as an excuse not to confront his past, he realized. He’d kept the rift between him and the Lindens fueled by keeping the truth buried beneath layers of resentment.

  The school bus horn blared, and Andrew slid out of his seat, mumbled a goodbye to Kane and pushed out the back door. Kane let him go, unwilling to make his son promises he didn’t know if he could keep.

  Sighing deeply, he cleared their dishes from the table, thinking about the woman who’d become his wife. A woman who’d wanted to be his wife. He hadn’t realized how empty and lonely he’d been until he met Megan, hadn’t known a woman’s love could be so good.

  He loved her. There was no sense denying the warm, fuzzy emotion wrapped around his heart. And if he loved her, didn’t he owe it to her to do whatever it took to make their marriage work? To shelve his pride for her and give her the trust she’d worked so hard to earn?

  His first marriage had ended tragically, and he couldn’t change that. But he had the ability to try to make amends with the Lindens and start fresh, not only for Andrew’s sake, but for the sake of his new marriage.

  Because, ultimately, he wasn’t willing to risk losing the best thing that had ever happened to him and his son.

  He’d been acting strange all morning.

  Megan stole a sideways glance at Kane as they pulled out of Jeff and Karen’s driveway after dropping Andrew off to spend the night. She’d learned from Karen that Kane had made arrangements to pick Andrew up tomorrow, after they attended church services.

  That left her alone with Kane for a good twenty-four hours.

  Under normal circumstances she would have thoroughly enjoyed a day and night with her husband all to herself. But it wasn’t as if they w
ere experiencing wedded bliss at the moment, the kind where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other and you spent every waking hour thinking of ways to be with the one you loved. No, their marriage had become one of convenience, and she hated it.

  He hadn’t said two words to her since this morning, when he’d told her they were going out that afternoon. She had no idea where out was, and by the look of concentration on Kane’s face and his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel as he drove through town, it wasn’t somewhere fun, exciting or romantic.

  “Do you plan on telling me where we’re going?” she asked.

  He never took his gaze off the road. “You’ll see when we get there.”

  She sat back in her seat, stared out the passenger window and waited until Kane finally braked to a stop in front of the Lindens’ house.

  She glanced from the two-story structure to Kane, feeling curious as well as cautious. He turned off the ignition, removed the key and took a deep breath that did nothing to ease the tight lines around his mouth and eyes.

  “What are we doing here?” she asked quietly.

  He met her gaze, and the vulnerability in the depths touched a tender chord in her. “I think it’s past time we all had a dignified conversation, don’t you?”

  Hope swelled in her heart. “You already know how I feel about that.”

  A crooked smile claimed his lips. “I guess I’m taking you up on your advice. Ready?”

  She glanced at the house, wondering how the Lindens were going to react to this impromptu visit. “Are you sure you want me to go with you?”

  Sincerity darkened his eyes. “I can’t do this without you by my side. You give me an incredible amount of courage.” He opened his door, but before he could slide out, she grabbed his arm. He looked at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.” She dampened her bottom lip with her tongue. “I think what you’re about to do is important, for so many reasons, but…”