Before Hadley

by J. Nathan

  I lifted my shoulders. “Some may say brilliant.”

  He shook his head. “You haven’t agreed to go out with me. Your brilliance must be slipping.”

  “Or spot on.”

  He didn’t laugh like I thought he would. He pulled off his sunglasses and hooked them to the top of his ball cap, revealing those deep dark eyes. “So, what do you say?”

  “About what?”

  His lips pulled up in both corners, his damn dimple dipping into his right cheek. “You heard me.” He dropped his bag and climbed the metal bleachers. “I may have an accent, but I speak English.” He sat down beside me, his left leg brushing mine.

  I ignored the quick tremor surging through me. “Yes, but in the states, the question takes on many different meanings.”

  “Then let me make it clear.” He inched closer, making sure I could read his lips. Hell, I could almost touch his lips. “It’s when two people who seem to like each other spend time together outside the confines of the school. Like we did Friday night. Which, by the way, was the highlight of my weekend.”

  His nearness and the crisp rugged scent rolling off him threatened to blast much of my sanity to shreds.

  “So what do you say?”

  I inched back, pretending to readjust the way I sat, but needing to put some space between us. “I’ve seen the girls you hang out with.”

  He arched a brow. “Hang out with?”

  I nodded. “They all have a lot in common.” I’d seen Shannon digging her claws into him that morning. She had the same curves in all the right places that Monica and Katie had.

  Caynan laughed. “So, let me get this straight. You’ve been watching me?”

  “It’s not like you try to hide it.”

  His nose wrinkled. “So, you think I’m sleeping with all the girls you’ve seen—I mean, you’ve been watching me with?”

  I couldn’t decide if I was angry at the way he had me pegged or amused by our banter. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t go out with players.”

  “Scared?”

  “Of getting herpes from just sitting near you? Yes.”

  He threw back his head and laughed, low and deep. When he laughed like that, his accent was non-existent. And as much as I wanted to deny it, I liked his laugh. It crept into every little crevice, every little girly part of me. And apparently, there were many.

  Bastard.

  He looked out at the freshly-cut field, with its emerald grass, newly raked dirt, and crisp white lines. “You here for the game?”

  I shook my head, caught off guard by the subject change. “I’m driving Cass home. She had to make up a test, so I came out here for some peace and quiet.”

  He nodded, his eyes trained on the empty field. “Well, you should stick around.”

  “Why? So I can see you mash the ball?”

  His eyes cut back to mine. “Mash the ball?”

  I shrugged. “I’ve dated a few baseball players.”

  “So, I’ve got competition?”

  “To have competition, you’ve actually gotta have a chance.”

  He snorted as some of his teammates walked onto the field, snatching his attention. “Well, regardless of my chances, I hope you stay.”

  I cocked my head. “And why’s that?”

  His eyes slid back to mine. “So I can see you whenever I want to.”

  Ripples rolled through my belly like a tidal wave on a shore, fast, forceful, and completely unexpected.

  Caynan grinned as he stood and made his way down the bleachers. Once he reached the grass, he turned to face me. “Think about it.”

  I grabbed my bag from beside my feet and stood. “Good luck.” I made my way down the bleachers and took off toward the parking lot, needing a quick escape before I did something stupid. Like agree to go out with him.

  Caynan

  Why did that damn girl make me act all stupid? I had plenty of girls throwing themselves at me. Plenty willing to sleep with me with no strings attached, or at least that’s what they claimed. So why, beyond all reason, was the one who was put off by me, the one I wanted to provoke? Make smile? Be around?

  The truth was I hated that she didn’t like me. No. She didn’t trust me. What told her I wasn’t one of the good ones? What told her I wasn’t worth her time? What told her I wasn’t worth the trouble? The girl saw through me, without even knowing my secrets. And that didn’t sit well with me. I needed to do something to fix it. I had no idea why I needed to fix it. I just knew this girl was different. Different from other girls. Different from me. And if I didn’t fix it, I’d always wonder what she really saw when she looked at me.

  I entered my trailer feeling on edge. I’d seen my father’s car out front, so I knew I’d have to deal with him and his shit sooner rather than later.

  “How’d it go?” his gruff voice asked before I even closed the door behind me.

  “We won.” I dropped my bag onto the floor, glancing to him sitting at our kitchen table.

  He placed his pen down on a messy stack of papers and slipped off his glasses. “You hit any out?”

  I nodded, searching for the tiniest bit of excitement in his eyes. There wasn’t any. “Three RBIs.”

  He nodded once, then slipped his glasses back on and picked up his pen, indicating the end of our conversation. It always played out that way. As a father, he wanted to be happy for me, wanted to know his son kicked some serious ass out there. But he knew—as did I—my skills on the field were short lived. I’d never play college ball. I’d never know if I had what it took to make it to the majors. To see my name on the backs of T-shirts. To fill stadiums. To hit my true potential.

  The here and now was the extent of my baseball career. So why bother talking about how well I played. It meant nothing.

  Absolutely nothing.

  Deep down, I wanted to believe my father was a good guy. Because if I allowed myself to believe otherwise, if I saw him for what he really was, I had no one else in this world I could rely on. Then I would’ve truly been alone. He wanted me to finish high school, even if it had to be under a bogus identity. He just got us wrapped up in the wrong business. He knew, as well as I, that we couldn’t just up and quit. We relied on the income. And at times, we relied on bigger jobs from the kinds of people who didn’t just let you quit working for them.

  At one time, I believed my dad could do it on his own. But once his eyes starting failing him, and I was faster with a safe, he became expendable and I became essential.

  Yup. Life sucked.

  And while I could’ve bitched about how I never signed up for it, how I never asked to be involved with the shit we did, how I’d never been given a choice, what good would it have done me? It was my future. And my father had made it perfectly clear on more than one occasion that if I took off, I was on my own. And even if he wasn’t the ideal father, he was all I had. Take care of your father…You’re all each other have.

  Those words would be the fucking death of me.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Hadley

  “Go out with me.”

  Cass stopped midsentence and we both looked up at Caynan, staring down at us from the aisle in English class.

  “Cass has a man,” I explained. “I don’t think he’d take too kindly to you asking her out.”

  Caynan smirked. “You know I wasn’t asking out your friend.”

  “How would I know that? My guess is you’ve already made it through all the single seniors. Why wouldn’t you move on to the taken ones?”

  He laughed as he slid into his seat. “Why wouldn’t I just try the juniors?”

  I rolled my eyes, not wanting to admit he had a point.

  He leaned out into the aisle, trying to get closer to me. “I’m serious. I want you to go out with me.”

  My forehead scrunched. “What’s the point?”

  “The point is…you’re beautiful. And I’m hot.”

  I scoffed. Was he for real?

  That just made his smile grow. “And ha
ven’t you noticed how we just can’t seem to stay away from each other?”

  I crossed my arms. “Oh, I can stay away from you. You just keep showing up everywhere I am.”

  “It’s gotta mean something.”

  “You’re a stalker?”

  His mouth opened, then snapped shut. “I think we should give it a go.”

  I leveled him with my best ‘don’t mess with me’ glare. “When hell freezes over.”

  His head shot back, though his smile never wavered. “Seriously? Because with global warming screwing everything up, I hear anything’s possible.”

  * * *

  All week Caynan continued his quest to get me to go out with him. On Wednesday he slipped a package of licorice on my desk with a post-it note on it: We have more than candy in common. On Thursday he held up a small sign when I walked into class with a guinea pig on it with the words: Go Out With Him! To both I’d rolled my eyes and proceeded like they’d never happened.

  I did have to give him props for remembering what I’d told him on the playground. Most guys wouldn’t have.

  Don’t get me wrong. He was a good looking guy and amusing to be around. But I wasn’t someone who wanted to be used. And that’s exactly what would’ve happened if I gave in to him. We’d have fun together. I’d develop feelings for him. And then he’d move on. Why put myself through that? And while it would’ve appeared as though he’d made it his mission in life to pursue me relentlessly, I’d seen him with plenty of other girls. In the cafeteria. In the halls. Even after school before his games.

  On Friday, the only day he hadn’t asked me out, I hurried out of school, eager to get home. I had lots to do over the weekend and needed a power nap like no one’s business.

  “Feisty?”

  I cringed at the British accent that beckoned me. I stopped in the middle of the busy parking lot and turned around.

  Caynan jogged toward me. “Where you heading?”

  My brows furrowed. “Home?”

  He stopped once he reached me, burying his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Was that a question?”

  “I don’t know. Why are you asking?”

  “Are you always so paranoid about people or is it just me?”

  “It’s just you.” I didn’t crack a smile, though I wanted to.

  Caynan’s shoulders shook with laughter. “Good to know.”

  “Well, have a good weekend.” I turned toward my car, attempting a quick escape.

  “Wait.”

  I exhaled a long breath before turning back to him.

  “There’s somewhere I want to take you.”

  My face scrunched in confusion. “I thought I made it clear—”

  “Yeah, I got it. No date. But this isn’t a date. I just want you to go somewhere with me.”

  My eyes narrowed. “What’s the difference?”

  He lifted his face to the cloudless sky. I wondered if he was praying for strength to deal with me. Good luck with that. “I don’t really know.” He met my gaze. “I guess I won’t try to hold your hand or kiss you at the end of it.”

  Slightly amused, I grabbed onto my backpack’s straps, needing something to do with my hands. “Where?”

  His eyes rounded. “Does that mean you’re in?”

  “Tell me where first.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”

  “Surprise?” I considered it for a minute. I liked surprises. But could I really trust him? Player or not, he definitely worked the whole charming British thing. And forget his body. It wasn’t terrible to look at. “Have you taken other girls to this place?”

  Bewilderment lined his features. “Other girls? No.”

  “Because they turned you down or because they knew your true intentions?”

  He looked down at the pavement as he shook his head. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re challenging?”

  I shrugged as Cass’ words bombarded my mind. No one said you have to date him…Just go out with him and have a little fun. You’re entitled you know.

  Damn her. I pulled my phone from my pocket and typed out a quick text.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Texting Cass.”

  “In the middle of our conversation?”

  I nodded, though my eyes remained on my phone. “I’m letting her know I’m with you in case I go missing.”

  He howled with laughter. “That’s fucking hilarious.”

  “Well? Do you blame me?” I sent the text and lifted my gaze.

  “Does this mean you’re in?”

  I stared into his hopeful eyes. What harm could come from seeing where he wanted to take me? It wasn’t like I’d fall for his ways. I was too smart for that.

  Caynan

  I liked having Feisty in my Jeep. Even with the top off and the wind whipping her hair all around her head, she still smelled flowery and sweet. Most girls would’ve pulled their hair back in a ponytail or asked me to put on the top. But not her. She didn’t even push her hair away from her face. I liked that about her. She didn’t give a damn.

  And while I liked having her next to me in such close quarters, I couldn’t wait to get to our destination. I wasn’t sure if she’d been there before or if she’d even like it. I’d made the appointment, hoping I could get her to go. That deep need for her to like me remained present, eating away at me with each passing day.

  Once we crossed the county line, her eyes shot around, taking in the surrounding buildings. “Give me a clue.”

  “No.”

  Her head whirled my way. “What if I hate it?”

  My eyes jumped between the road and her. “Then you hate it.”

  “You’re not worried?”

  “Why would I be worried? Even if you hate it, I get to spend time with you.”

  I watched as she suppressed a grin.

  Oh, I’m definitely wearing on her.

  The GPS announced our destination five hundred feet ahead on our right. Hadley’s head whipped to the right, her eyes searching the storefronts lining the street. I pulled along the sidewalk, parallel parking a couple blocks away. No way I’d let her in on the surprise without being able to see her reaction.

  “Wow. For someone who’s used to driving on the opposite side of the road, nice parking job.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled as I switched off the engine. Why the hell did her references to England make me so damn uneasy? Oh, that’s right. Because I was a fucking liar.

  I jumped out of my Jeep and hurried to her side. She’d already pushed open her door, but I offered my hand. She smiled down at it, but ignored it and hopped out on her own. Damn independent girl.

  Her eyes moved around, taking in the people strolling by us in different directions. “Glad to see there are witnesses.”

  I laughed, loving the way her sarcasm came so easily. “You really think I’d commit the crime in broad daylight?” My thumb hitched to the right. “I’d take you down one of these alleys where there’d be no witnesses.”

  She smiled, and I actually felt her enjoying our banter.

  Instead of reaching for her hand—like a player would have, I reached for her door and closed it, heading down the sidewalk with her by my side. I spotted the sign a few shops down, loving that she still had no idea where we were headed.

  “So, why is it you think I’ll like this place?” she asked.

  “Well, I stumbled across some very interesting information about you.” I stopped in front of the shop.

  Her eyes expanded when she spotted Claire’s Art Studio written in graffiti in the shop window.

  “I’ve seen your art, Hadley.” I couldn’t disguise the awe in my voice. “It’s amazing.”

  Her gaze shifted. “If we’re at an art studio, I’d think you’re telling me I need practice.”

  I laughed as I walked over to the door and held it open for her. “Come on.”

  Claire, an older woman in a paint-splattered apron, greeted us as we stepped inside. “You mu
st be Caynan and Hadley.” She held out her paint-covered hand. Hadley didn’t seem to mind, shaking it right away. “I hear you’re quite the artist.”

  Hadley’s cheeks pinked. “I dabble a little.”

  “She’s going to college to major in art.”

  Hadley’s entire body whirled toward me. “How do you know that?”

  I looked her dead in the eyes. “When I’m interested in something, I make it my mission to find out everything there is to know about it.”

  She raised her brows in question. “Those stalker tendencies rearing their ugly heads again?”

  “Apparently when it comes to you, they can’t control themselves.”

  She suppressed a smile. I wished she wouldn’t. She had such a pretty smile.

  Claire interrupted our exchange. “So, I’ll admit, Caynan’s plan for the two of you didn’t seem like something an art major would be interested in.” Her eyes moved between us. “But now meeting you…I can tell you’ll have some fun with it.” She pointed to a door at the back of her studio. “Everything’s set up for you. Be sure to grab aprons on your way in so you don’t ruin your clothes.”

  “Ready?” I asked Hadley.

  A huge smile spread across her lips. “Oh, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve arranged.”

  Her enthusiasm intensified my excitement. “Come see.” I grabbed two aprons and handed one to Hadley. I threw the other over my head and opened the door. Hadley walked inside, tying her apron behind her. She eyed the huge sheets of white paper rolled out across the cement floor. Beside them were vats of red, blue, green, and yellow paints waiting to be used. “We’re finger painting?”

  “I figured, if you were gonna give me a lesson, I needed to start small.”

  Her eyes cut to mine. Was she angry? Amused? Excited? “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “I know.”

  She paused for such a long time I wondered if I’d insulted her. “This is awesome.”

  My smile spread. “Really?”