The Dark Lord Cecil

by Wade Adrian

  Even if he died of old age.

  He’d know it before but he hadn’t stopped to think about it.

  It didn’t seem to bother either of them… but he wasn’t looking forward to it, himself. He probably had ugly bones.

  “What do you propose, then?” Egerton held his chin high.

  “Rojo has no such rules about enlisting women. They are backwards enough to put anyone that can hold a weapon on the field. This could be their handiwork.”

  “You said they are far to the east.”

  “Perhaps not so far as we thought. We are not on the border, but we’re not more than a few days march from it either.”

  Cecil rocked back and forth, his knees hugged against his chest.

  Murray sat down beside him. “You okay, boss?”

  “What was dying like?”

  The skeleton blinked his red eyes a few times. “Umm… well it is convenient in that I don’t have to deal with cuticles anymore. So that’s nice.” He shrugged. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t recall much of it. Overwhelming urge to take a nap. Sore around the edges. Which were jagged edges because of the cave in, but I didn’t really understand that at the time.”

  Egerton and Lady Aldora continued bickering about the political climate. Cecil barely heard them. “I haven’t really thought about it before, you know?”

  Murray nodded. “Why would you? You’re practically a kid.”

  At any other time that jab at Cecil’s pride would have gotten a response… but not now. Murray wasn’t wrong. He’d barely lead any of his life, and it had nearly ended because of a pleasing silhouette in the dark.

  He should have know better. Lady Aldora would never act that way, she was too prim and proper. He should have stood up, raised his fists…

  Murray snapped his fingers in front of Cecil’s face. “You in there?”

  Cecil blinked a few times before shaking his head. “I guess.”

  “Cool. Believe it or not it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

  He sighed.

  “No worries, boss. We won’t let anyone get that close again. And I also took the liberty of having the kitchens and archives guarded, too.”

  “Thanks.”

  Murray shrugged. “Seemed like the thing to do.”

  Cecil tilted his head at the skeleton. “You said something about how you didn’t want the crown like the others.”

  “That is correct.”

  “You thought you could do good things with it?”

  “I don’t know if good is the right word, but proper upstanding sorts of things, yeah. Figured an army of skeletons could probably stop most wars just by getting in the way, being a nuisance, preventing others from being jerks. And that was after people got used to seeing them and stopped screaming and running away.”

  Egerton scoffed loud enough for them to hear. “Yes, that sounds like you, Muireach.”

  “Bite me.”

  “Eloquent, as ever.”

  Lady Aldora held her hands high. “Enough!” She roared. “Enough of this pointless bickering!”

  Murray’s jaw snapped shut, his eyes sweeping around.

  Egerton’s shoulders slumped a little.

  “We need solutions, not arguments. Clearly the situation is more dire than we believed. We must work together to rectify this as soon as possible. Lord Cecil, I’m afraid you’ll have to be kept under constant guard from now on. At least until we identify and deal with your enemies.”

  Egerton rolled his eyes. “Then it will be forever. There will always be enemies, great and small.”

  Murray nodded. “Girl wasn’t very big.”

  Lady Aldora gave them both a cold glare. “One step at a time. For now, my lord, get whatever rest you can. I fear the days of lighthearted country wagon rides are behind you.”

  Cecil frowned. She was probably right. It had been a pretty nice wagon ride, too.

  He really didn’t like the idea of having enemies. He’d been distraught just being bullied as a child. A full fledged enemy sounded awful.

  The thought of heading home crossed his mind more than once. Calder would know what to do. He knew everything.

  No, he couldn’t do that. As if showing up surrounded by skeletons wouldn’t be bad enough, now there were people who legitimately wanted to cause him and his people harm. Best if no one went looking for is family, since he had quite a few of them out there.

  It was late. He could tell as much by how his bones ached. They argued for hours and just went in circles.

  Nothing would change until the sun rose. No point in waiting for it. He laid his head down on the pillow. The ache in his bones didn’t lessen much… he really hoped it was just from being weary.

  A familiar and irritating bell roused Cecil from troubled dreams of talking cakes. He groaned a bit as he sat up. It wasn’t the most comfortable floor he’d ever slept on. He’d need to find a hammock or something. Or at least more pillows.

  Feet paraded across the room, back and forth. He saw Egerton run one way and Kenley another. No one bothered to speak to him, so he just sat there, rubbing at his eyes and watching.

  A few minutes later he stood up with a yawn and sat on the edge of the throne. He hadn’t been there long when Lady Aldora appeared at the door to the chamber. “There you are.”

  He glanced around, then pointed at himself. “Me? Yeah, been here all night. I think.”

  She walked over at a brisk pace. He nearly flinched when she raised her hands towards him. The night before wasn’t easy to forget. She didn’t touch him, however, her hands dropped behind him and picked up the crown, which she placed on his head. “I’m sad to report I was correct.”

  He looked up at the crown. “About?”

  “Rojo. There is a delegation on the way as we speak. No one from Greater Azul would ride with crimson banners.”

  It was early, his mind was still fuzzy. That was probably more scary than it sounded to him. “That’s bad, right?”

  She sighed. “We need to get you some tea or something. This will be much the same as our meeting with General Gomer, just with someone potentially much less reasonable.”

  “Oh, good.” He stifled another yawn and shook his head. The crown made it difficult. The thing had some heft to it.

  “Despite my… outburst, you did fine yesterday. If you wish to speak to them, so be it. Just keep your roll in mind. Quiet, disinterested, angry. Don’t give them a thing to work with.”

  “Because it went so well last time.”

  “It really did.” She nodded. “General Gomer left without learning much. He certainly didn’t feel he had a strong enough position to make demands or even stage an attack.”

  Cecil rubbed at the back of his neck. Stupid hard floor. “If that had failed, could we have paid him? We have the treasury.”

  She mulled it over for a moment but shook her head. “I wouldn’t suggest it. Gomer would have been insulted at the idea, because he had officers watching him if not for his own pride. I can’t say what someone from Rojo will do. But generally speaking, waving money around is a good way to get robbed. Why nobles like myself travel under guard. Right now there’s not much they would want here, beyond deciding if you are a threat. Word of treasure might very well change that and make you a target, threat or not.”

  “Smart.” He nodded. “Why I dragged you into this. Sorry, by the way.”

  She smiled a bit. “Don’t be. This is the chance of a lifetime. You’ll see. We just need to get these… growing pains out of the way.” She nodded and stood a little taller before turning to leave. A single step later she paused and looked back. “And I’m sorry, too.”

  “Hmm?”

  “The assassin. She got close because of me. I feel responsible.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Not your fault at all, you didn’t hire her. Just some crazy person.”

  “Perhaps.” She nodded slightly, but the frown said she wasn’t convinced.

  Murray had his silly hat on w
hen he bolted into the room. “Looking at two hundred horsemen and another two hundred on foot.”

  Cecil’s eyebrow crept up. “More than Gomer. Guess we’re scary or something.”

  “Well we do try.” Murray lifted his chin.

  Lady Aldora shook her head. “Infantry means they are moving slower than Gomer did. Frankly, we can use the time. Lets get this place in order. Chop chop.”

  Murray rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. But infantry and greater numbers also mean they might have a plan. Cavalry can run away, infantry is slow. They have to know that.”

  She pondered that before nodding. “True. We must be careful. It would seem they knows more about us than we know about them.”

  Cecil stifled a yawn so strong he had to raise a hand to keep the crown on his head. “That’s easy to believe. I’ve lived here my whole life and have barely even heard of them.”

  “All you need to know is that they’re ruthless and cruel. Prisoners speak horror stories of spending even hours in their tender care, and prisoners are exceedingly rare. It is said they delight in pain and fear nothing.”

  Cecil blinked a few times. She was right. He was going to need tea to deal with all of this. “Has anyone tested their fearlessness against skeleton armies?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “But at this point they’ve passed some, and it hasn’t seemed to slow them.”

  “Drat.”

  Egerton appeared in the doorway, skeletons at his heels dragging yards of black cloth. “Hang them about the room. We need to establish our colors. They’ll be marking us on maps, we need something striking.”

  Murray tilted his head at the black banners as they were hung. “Makes us look like pirates.”

  Cecil nodded. “All we need is a skull and cross bones.”

  “That would still be appropriate, when you think about it.”

  Egerton glared… at Murray. “Must you criticize all of my work?”

  Murray shrugged. “I guess?”

  Lady Aldora sighed.

  Cecil stood up and held his hands high. “Okay, stop it. Don’t make me use this thing.” He pointed at the crown. “We’re going to get this done, and we’re going to do it right.” He looked at Murray, then at Egerton. “Alright?”

  Egerton gave a curt nod.

  Murray rolled his eyes a bit. “Okay.”

  Peace was still the better option in Cecil’s mind, whether Egerton wanted it or Lady Aldora thought it was possible or not. But she was right, if he wanted peace he was going to need to convince everyone else war would be foolish.

  He noticed the sleeve of his brown coat. His sleep addled mind had forgotten all about changing. Hell, he’d walked downstairs without his boots. No wonder his feet hurt.

  Tea was an excellent idea. It sounded a lot better than getting slapped in the face until he was coherent and he wouldn’t put that past this crew.

  21

  “Skeletons. Weird.” Herr Redding sat upon his great black warhorse as he surveyed the field of standing dead. “Just weird.” From the hilltop he could see skeletons from here to the tower. His people were moving up the road in force while he watched. If something happened to them, that was fine. There were more where those came from. It would be a shame to lose the equipment, though. Hard to train horses, too.

  Mat nodded. “I know what you mean, sir.”

  “To be perfectly frank, Mitch, I was considering having you beaten in the center of camp for public intoxication when you came back with this story. While that would have been amusing, I’m glad I didn’t now. You were right, I admit it. Skeletons.”

  Mat frowned a bit. “It’s Mat, sir. And thank you.”

  A horse thundered toward them from the front of his line. They knew where he was, everyone did. His crimson banner and cloak floated in the wind, making no secret of his station or position. He was never close enough for archers to reach him anyway. What kind of fool would be?

  Redding watched the horse with his chin in the air. “That seems kind of odd. I specifically ordered them not to get scared and retreat. It would be a shame to make another example so early in the day. Loses its effect. Got to space them out.”

  Mat’s shoulders slumped. “Of course, sir.”

  “We’re deep into enemy territory. Morale is imperative.” He rubbed at his chin. His face was all that was exposed, the rest of him was decked out in expertly crafted obsidian armor that had a sort of chitinous design. It made people uncomfortable. Uncomfortable people were easier to… convince.

  The horse slowed only as it climb the hill. When it reached the top it turned out the horse had two riders, and neither was the one it’d had that morning. Both riders climbed down clumsily before kneeling.

  “My lord, scouts Ani and Tim reporting in.”

  Redding tilted his head a little, glancing to the side. “These yours, Mitch?”

  “Yes, sir.” Mat nodded.

  “Very good.” He waved absently to the scouts. “Report.”

  The gentleman stood up. “Sir. We surveyed the tower and the surrounding excavated buildings. There are a limited number of people inside, but…” He turned to look at the skeletons. “Those are without end. More appear by the hour, crawling out of the ground like insects. It was only their disinterest in our movements that allowed us to accomplish anything. Avoiding them is… simply not possible.”

  Redding narrowed his eyes down at the skeletons. “Disinterest, you say?”

  “Yes sir. They were never a problem. Simply pointed us to the tower.”

  “I see. And these ‘limited number of people?’ What of them?”

  Ani grumbled but Tim ignored her. “Disorganized, largely incompetent. The skeletons are a bit of an… unknown entity, but they are beholden to one man, and he isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.”

  She shook her head. “I wouldn’t say they’re incompetent. We tried to coerce this man, this Cecil. Usual setup.”

  Redding seemed slightly taken aback. “The usual setup… with you?”

  Mat almost missed the blow to Ani’s pride, but she recovered quickly enough. “Yes, sir. It didn’t work. While the skeletons out here are not openly hostile, our attempts inside the tower were met with a great deal more hostility.”

  Tim nodded. “Tossed her out of the tower.”

  Redding leaned back in his saddle. “That is fairly hostile. Who did that?”

  “Two of the skeletons within are different. They have red eyes and act like normal people. Well, like people, I guess. They’re anything but normal.”

  “I see.” Redding nodded. “Interesting. Very interesting.” He turned and whistled.

  A short man fumbled his way up the hill, climbing with his hands as much as his feet despite it being an incline a horse was perfectly capable of surmounting. He took several shallow breaths as he knelt over, hands on his knees, his colorful striped robe flapping in the breeze. “I’m here, I’m here.”

  Redding glanced back over his shoulder. “Ah, good. It sounds a great deal like these people are unknowingly corroborating your outlandish tales, scholar.”

  The chubby little man stood tall as he tried to get his breathing under control. “As I said, sir, no word of it a lie.”

  “You have to realize how crazy it all sounds.”

  The scholar shrugged. “It’s a tale I have known since I was a child, I suppose that makes it sound a bit more reasonable to me.”

  Redding narrowed his eyes at the tower as he rubbed his chin. “Very well, give them the short version of what you told me. Then they’ll tell you what they’ve learned. Lets get the most solid picture we can before we walk in there.”

  The approaching army slowed considerably. Murray waited, leaning on the railing of the balcony entrance. There was a new entrance further down uncovered, it might even be the “ground” floor, but there was no path to those doors yet.

  “Guess they lost their spines, eh?” Murray tilted his head, glancing at one of the skeletons standing beside him holdin
g a black banner.

  It didn’t reply.

  “Trust me, it was funny.”

  The skeleton lines ahead shifted and parted as a group of horsemen peeled away from the army and approached.

  Murray stood up straight. “About time.” He glanced up at the sun, nearly directly overhead. “Yeesh. I thought this was supposed to be a morning thing? My entire schedule is thrown off now. I’ll never squeeze in crying myself to sleep at this rate.”

  A man in ridiculous looking black armor rode at the front, a bright red cape flapping around like he was just waiting for someone to shoot him. Murray could no doubt have picked the man out from the top of the tower. He had a few officer looking types in tow, as well as three people in far simpler uniforms. Those three looked… filthy. The rest had some mud and dust from travel, sure, but it looked like those three had spent the morning digging up worms for a fishing trip.

  The rider at the head kept moving when the others stopped. He reined in his horse only inches from the stone railing.

  It looked like he was covered in dead bugs. To most that was probably gross, but to Murray it just looked stupid. Fear of bugs of any sort had gone away right about the time he died.

  The rider held his chin high. “Are you Egerton or Muireach?”

  “Oooh, I’m famous. Neat.”

  “Muireach, then.”

  “It seems you have me at a disadvantage, sir. Which is impressive, when you think about it. I doubt any of them talked.” He waved his bony hand at the other skeletons standing around. “Which means you got someone inside… well, more than one, since that one did a swan dive.”

  The rider smiled. “I put forth that we allow bygones to be bygones, and speak of the future.”

  “That’s not exactly a denial, is it? But it’s not my place to question you. It’s my place to show you inside, assuming you meet my requirements.”

  “Which are?”

  “No weapons, no armor, and you only get two friends. That’s the standard going rate these days. There’s no need to delay you, since you delayed yourself expertly.”