Rock Me Slowly

by Dawn Sutherland

  “Look guys you are on in five, you think you’re going to be ready?” The roadie looks apprehensive to be interrupting Josh and Mickey, but he has to make sure the guys get on stage on time.

  “Sure we will, just having a friendly discussion here with my buddy Josh.” Both men edge away from each other and gather the last of their things for the stage. I’m thankful that their disagreement is over, but I know that they will resume this later on. By no means is this whole thing over. Mickey kisses me on the head once more as the guys all head out of the dressing room towards the stage entrance. Josh just looks at me on the passing and my heart still hurts just as much. What the hell is happening?

  Why the hell do I think that tonight may have been the start of something? It doesn’t feel good either.

  Chapter 10

  Josh

  I’m starting to feel the adrenaline rush through my body as we all get set to take the stage. Mickey is standing directly behind the stage door practising his keys. Despite our differences I have to admit that Mickey has one of the highest ranges I have ever seen on a male singer. Zack and I are well amped for tonight’s gig, our solos are going to kick mega ass. I wonder if Sophie will watch the show from the side-lines. Goddamn it Josh, stop thinking about Sophie. You have to have your mind on the game tonight.

  The crowd just sounds insane in the arena. They have been shouting non-stop for Buried Alive for the last half hour and it really gets my high working. I love writing and spending time in the studio with the guys but my heart lies with performing live. The feeling of stepping onto that stage and hearing your fans scream and shout your name, it sends goosebumps coursing through-out my body, it’s just insane. I never thought it could be possible to be loved by thousands of strangers purely out of their love of your music. I am truly blessed.

  Tanner is still off his face but he is also focussed and I know he will get through the show no problem. “You ready Tanners?” Zack asks Tanner, he obviously has noticed his erratic excitement over the last couple of hours. We are all concerned about him but we need to get through the next two nights. Once we are back on the road again we can try to get to the bottom of Tanners increased drug taking.

  One of the stage hands opens the side entrance that leads directly onto the stage.

  “You guys ready for the madness. The fans are well and truly ready for you guys now, be prepared, they are pretty manic over here.” Holy crap here we go, our first major US tour and the fans are going crazy out there for us. I’m so freaking excited for the next two nights. Let’s just hope it goes without a hitch.

  “You bet we are let the fucking madness commence.” Blaine is nearly bouncing off the walls with excitement. I slap Blaine and Zack on the back playfully as we get ready to take centre stage now that our support band, Burning Inferno have finished playing their set.

  Bring it the fuck on!!

  The support band comes bounding through the stage door drenched in sweat but they look delighted with their set. I remember us being the support band for a few major rock bands back during our early days and it was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. That’s what really got us noticed. It was a huge honour to be playing for bands that we grew up listening to. It finally seemed like a reality that we could become as huge as those guys.

  “Hey guys, they are totally warmed up for you now. You have a hard act to follow now, try not to make us look better.” The lead singer from Burning Inferno, Kurt laughs deeply. He isn’t far wrong though, they have come a long way in the last few years and given a few more they should be exactly where we are. I have faith in them.

  “Oh ha-ha Kurt boy, we are about to blow the fucking crowds mind away. They will have forgotten who the fuck you are five minutes into the show.” Mickey says sardonically.

  “Seriously though, you guys were amazing. We listened to your set out here, very impressed.” Zack has a good ear for up and coming bands with major talent, so I have no doubt that these guys will become very big.

  “Alright we will let you guys get onstage, good luck with the first leg of the tour. We are huge fans, thanks for the opportunity.” With that the guy’s head back into their dressing room and we are now left to get on that motherfucking stage and rock some ass!

  This is it, this is fucking it. The doors to the stage open and our equipment is already laid out and waiting for us to take control. My heart is thudding in my chest at an uncontrollable rate; its pumping so hard I think it may just escape out of my chest. Christ this is going to be immense.

  “Right come on fuckers let’s get our asses on that stage and rock the fuck out of this arena!” Mickey shouts above the increasing noise that is building up at the prospect of us hitting the stage.

  Mickey hangs back and Me, Blaine, Zack and Tanner head onto the stage, the crowd goes fucking nuts. The stage is still in darkness but the fans can sense our arrival. They continue their chants for Buried Alive. They start shouting for Mickey as they know he is still to grace them with his presence. Zack, Blaine and I grab our guitars and sling them over our shoulders. They are already in tune so we are all set for the off. Tanner runs up to his drum kit and becomes familiar with his best friend once again. We all flash one another a smile, we all know this is our dream coming true. Even Tanner who is stoned knows how huge this is, it’s all we have ever dreamed about.

  The crowd goes fucking insane when the stage lights up when in runs Mickey who stands on his platform at the very front of the stage. We are on fire and all the fights of the past few days have been forgotten, for now.

  “Are you fuckers all ready to be rocked here tonight?!!” Mickey screams into his microphone and is being met with deafening screams from the crowd. This is what we do best, we were born to be entertainers and it feels so damn good to be back up where we belong.

  “Alright then. First of all I just want to say how fucking amazing it is to be here in San Diego. Its our first time here so why don’t you all make us feel welcome. We want to start with one of our more well-known songs, Apocalypse. Get ready to rock!”

  That has the crowd getting to their feet and banging their heads up and down to Blaine’s insane bass beat. Tanner kicks in with an elaborate drum beat and he doesn’t miss a step, he’s on fucking top form. Zack and I kick in with our guitar parts and we are just flying over the riffs perfectly. Mickey starts screaming the first part of the song and the crowd just can’t get enough of our biggest hit to date.

  Half way through the song I take centre stage with Mickey and start to hit my trademark solo for my adoring fans. The spotlight is on me and I’m in my element. Zack joins me at my left hand side and starts playing the rhythm to my solo and we mould together perfectly. The song ends and Mickey starts his usual conversation with the crowd. It never fails to get them jumping up and down and screaming their heads off, especially the women.

  “Hey Josh look over there, there’s a chick that’s topless. I like that. Hmmmmmm.” That only makes the chick wiggle her breasts all the more for Mickey; he knows exactly how to evoke a reaction out of the crowd. As far as I can see every member of the crowd has one of our newly designed shirts. Just seeing that is truly humbling, never did I think that I would be role model worthy. These fans have us up on a pedestal and it is both a pleasurable but also a frightening role to be playing.

  We head straight into our second song of the set and really get the crowd going. Tanner needs the drugs to get high but this feeling is the most intense high I will ever experience. The song finishes and Tanner has his drum solo. This is always one of the most highly anticipated parts of our shows. The crowd love Tanner just as much as we do. His sets are always crazy, majorly fast drum fills with Tanner drinking numerous beers and smoking cigarettes in the process.

  Fucking multi-talented.

  The rest of us are standing in the wings of the stage waiting for Tanner to finish his drum interlude. I take a swig of my beer just to quench the thirst that has built up with the heat of the stage. Just as I
swallow the mouthful of beer I notice that Sophie is standing in the opposite side of the stage talking to one of the roadies. I wonder if she has been watching the show from there. She has my heart beating wildly again and it suddenly seems very important to me to outperform myself and impress her.

  I do hope she stays and watches the rest of the show.

  Sophie

  I am quietly standing in the left wing of the stage watching the show. I have to admit they are absolutely fantastic live and they captivate the crowd completely. I’m very proud to have been a part of this set up. They seem to have a very strong fan base and they all seem to be in the their element on stage. It just goes to prove that dreams can come true. I admire each and every one of them. Their talent is truly once in a lifetime and although Mickey and Josh are having their issues it doesn’t seem to get in the way of the bands success or their performance.

  The show goes without a hitch and it is a huge success. The boys gel so well together and it’s like a family out there performing. Every so often Josh will catch my eye from his corner of the stage and I can’t find it in myself to look away. Josh not only captivates the groupies in the front row of the crowd but he has my attention whole heartedly. I have tried so very hard to ignore the pull that he seems to have over me, but truth be told I can’t. There is just something about him and it’s not his superstardom, fame or the money, it’s him. Josh is broken and I so desperately want to be given the opportunity to fix him. It’s not going to be easy to get close to him again.

  I catch Josh’s eye once again and this time I’m rewarded with one of his panty dropping smiles. There we go, that’s exactly what I have been missing from him. It fills me with a deep longing to be loved by him. I know it’s nothing but a dream but it’s starting to consume me so deeply now, that I can’t think about anything else.

  The guys exit the stage and they all run past me whilst gulping down beers to celebrate their first gig. The only one who hangs back is Josh who actually looks very nervous on his approach to me.

  So he damn well should, the way he has treated me has been confusing at best.

  “So, I saw that you watched the whole show from back here. Did you… erm like what you saw?” Josh says quietly just so that only me and Josh can hear what is being said.

  “It’s the first time I have heard all of the bands big hits and I was very impressed Josh. I knew you guys were very talented but the level of that talent goes beyond the scope of anything I have ever heard before. You should be very proud.” Remaining calm telling him this is so fucking hard, I want to slam my fists against his rock hard chest and ask him why the hell he enjoys hurting me so damn much. I don’t do that, my pride won’t allow it.

  “Thanks Sophie, despite everything that means a lot to me. I just wondered if you would like to come with us to the club down the block and have a few after show drinks to celebrate. Absolutely no strings attached, just as friends?” Josh looks totally earnest in his request and I don’t have it in my heart to reject him.

  Unlike he did you Sophie?

  I tell that voice in my head to shut the hell up, it always interferes at the most inappropriate times. I really want to spend more time with Josh so my answer is a no brainer.

  “Thank you Josh I would like that very much, thanks for inviting me out with you guys.” I leave my response at that and head back down into the guy’s dressing room to collect my purse so that I can head back onto the tour bus once again. Once I’m in the dressing room, I’m faced with a bunch of butt naked men and the view makes me slightly giddy at not only the sheer nakedness but also at the tattoos on display. Before my weaknesses gets in the way of professionalism I grab my purse. I’m about to head back out the door when I’m accosted by Mickey again.

  He is completely naked and he actually has me very apprehensive about being in this confined space with him. I don’t feel an intense attraction to Mickey like I do with Josh but he is still a force to be reckoned with. His hands start to gently rub at my arms and I can clearly see that he is aroused. I’m starting to wonder if having a huge cock was a requirement of being able to join the band. These guys are fucking huge! I can’t let Mickey think that I’m interested in him, as impressive as he is.

  “Look Mickey please stop, I don’t want this. I want us to be friends. I don’t feel that way for you. I’m sorry.” Mickey backs off me and bends down onto the shelf for one of the towels that were left for the band. He wraps the towel around his middle and smiles a huge smile that reaches his eyes.

  “No sweat baby. I’m here if you want me though.” Mickey winks at me and then walks straight into the bathroom to take a shower. Surely these guys aren’t short of female attention, so then why do they keep hitting on me? I’m nothing special.

  When I’m safely back inside the bus I head straight into the bathroom and take a quick shower in anticipation for tonight. Once out the shower I wrap my favourite pink fluffy towel around my body and step back into the main area of the bus. I rummage through my suitcase to find something suitable to wear for tonight.

  I pick out my backless black dress with diamante studs along the bottom hemline. Its ultra-sexy but I think that tonight is the perfect opportunity to wear it. I find my bright pink thong that I have decided to wear with it and team the outfit with my black stilettos. I head back into the bathroom to get dressed, do my makeup and decide what exactly I’m going to do with my hair.

  Once I’m dressed and my makeup is applied, I decide to straighten my blonde locks and leave my hair down, something I don’t often do. I look damn fuckable if I do say so myself. One of the roadies told me that the guys were leaving for the club straight from the arena dressing room so I have the honour of having Trev escorting me to the club. Apparently it isn’t safe for me to head there alone now that the groupies have caught wind of me being in the guy’s company 24/7 for the foreseeable future.

  Jealous little harpies need to go and get themselves a fucking life!

  I’m interrupted by Trev who is here now to escort me and I have to admit I’m very excited about what tonight will bring.

  “You ready to go then trouble?” Ah Trev and his pet name. He’s a sweetheart really.

  “Lead the way Trev. I’m so ready to let my hair down tonight.” Trev protects me as we head out of the bus through the shouting crowd of fans that have gathered around the bus. Little do they know that the guys have already left for the club. He helps me into the Chrysler and we are now speeding towards the club. I have absolutely no idea where abouts we are headed but I love the mystery of this evening.

  We finally pull up outside a very swanky looking club called Violets. Trev gets out the car first and then comes round to my side and opens up my door. I get out and I’m met by some very forceful looking paparazzi aiming to get a few snaps of me as I get out the car. Trev blocks the majority of the snaps but I’m sure one of them got a few snaps of my face. Apparently Buried Alive are huge news here in San Diego.

  I scurry into the club as quick as my eight inch heels allow. I love the atmosphere of the club, its stunning. There is red velvet booths and black glass tables everywhere. I’m glad to see there isn’t a tacky waitress dressed in a bunny outfit anywhere, score.

  I spot the guys sitting in the V.I.P area and I make my way over there hastily. I really don’t want to be accosted by anyone. As I get closer to the booth I can feel the air whoosh straight out of my chest at the sight of Josh. If I thought he couldn’t look any more stunning than he is in his stage gear I was wrong. Josh is wearing a very neat pair of blue jeans with a black dress shirt with the top three buttons undone. I can see his tattoos peeking through. I have lost all ability to speak at this moment.

  Oh holy crap tonight is going to be so much harder than I had anticipated.

  Chapter 11

  Josh

  The sight of Sophie walking into the club in that outfit has my senses on red alert. She is beauty personified. It has to be illegal for someone to look that damn sexy. Just
the way that her dress fits and the way it accentuates her curves has me wanting to rub my hands over every inch of her. God damn, I’m going to go straight to hell for this but I’m going to have to have a taste of her tonight. The whole fucked up situation has me feeling like I’m Adam tempted to take a taste of the forbidden fruit.

  “Come up to the bar with me Sophie and I’ll get us our drinks.” I already have a buzz but I’m going to need something stronger to cope with the urge that I have for this girl. I leave the other guys at our booth and accompany Sophie to the bar. I can feel Mickey’s eyes on me but I don’t give a damn. In my mind she is still my woman and I will do anything to keep her away from him. He will end up hurting her beyond repair. Sophie is most definitely an angel amongst demons. “What would you like to drink Soph?” I stare into the depths of her enchanting eyes as if I had just asked her a deep and meaningful question.

  “Erm w..Well, I really want to get smashed tonight so make it a jagermeister.” Holy crap talk about starting heavy. She sits down on the bar stool and I do the same, it’s more comfortable than standing about like a complete douche. We sit in an uncomfortable silence whilst we wait for our drinks to arrive. God, how I wish I could take the awkwardness away and replace it with the ease that we had previously. Our drinks arrive and I take a tentative sip whilst Sophie just throws it back.

  Wow, no holds barred with this girl!

  “Woaw calm down Sophie, you have all night to get drunk let’s not get carried away with ourselves, huh?” I really hope that she isn’t getting wasted because of the situation between us.