Science No Fair!

by Nancy Krulik

  The kids all started to laugh. Except me.

  “Java, put the chair back behind the desk,” Miss Perriwinkle said sternly. “And sit on it.”

  Java did exactly as he was told.

  “Class, pull out your math workbooks,” Miss Perriwinkle told us. “Let’s try the problem on page forty-seven. How much is eight hundred seventy-nine divided by three?”

  The Silverspoon twins’ hands shot up in the air. Those two always think they’re math geniuses.

  Miss Perriwinkle pointed toward Jerry. But before she could call on him …

  “Two hundred ninety-three,” Java shouted out.

  “That’s correct, Java.” Miss Perriwinkle looked down at his workbook. There was nothing written in it. “Did you just figure that out in your head?” she asked, surprised.

  “Actually, my hard drive is in my stomach,” Java explained.

  Uh-oh.

  “He means he had a good breakfast, so he’s able to do his best work,” I said quickly.

  “Java called out the answer!” Jerry Silverspoon tattled to the teacher.

  “That’s true,” Miss Perriwinkle said. “Java, in this class, we raise our hands before we answer a question.”

  The Silverspoon twins smiled smugly.

  “Java, would you like to try another math problem?” Miss Perriwinkle asked.

  “Yes,” Java replied.

  “Okay, what is four thousand two hundred seven times four?” she asked.

  I saw the Silverspoon twins write down the problem. They were trying to solve it before Java could. But the Silverspoons do not have calculators in their bellies.

  “Sixteen thousand eight hundred twenty-eight,” Java said, before the twins could even begin to multiply.

  “That’s correct!” Miss Perriwinkle said. She looked thrilled to have a math whiz in her class.

  The Silverspoon twins glared at Java. They were not happy.

  But I was. It was nice to see someone show up those two show-offs for a change.

  The Silverspoon twins started whispering back and forth. I had a feeling they were planning something. I didn’t know what it was.

  But I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be good for Java.

  5.

  Ready for Takeoff!

  “Come on, Stanley,” I whined at recess that afternoon. “Just pick a card. One more card. That’s all I’m asking.”

  Stanley looked at my deck of magic playing cards, the one with the superheroes on the back. “But you always get that trick wrong,” he said. “I don’t want to do it again.”

  I frowned and put the cards back in my pocket.

  “That is an easy trick,” Java said. “All you have to do is …”

  I put my hand over his metallic mouth. A magician never gives away his secrets. And neither does his robot cousin.

  “Java! Come play tetherball with us!” the Silverspoon twins called from across the playground.

  Java started to walk toward them. But I jumped in front of him.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “To play tetherball with my new friends,” Java replied.

  “The Silverspoons are your friends?” I asked. “They’re not friends with anybody.”

  “Why not?” Java asked.

  I didn’t have an answer for that.

  I looked at Stanley. He didn’t have an answer either.

  So I had to let Java go.

  “You’re not going to send your cousin over to the Silverspoon twins alone are you?” Stanley asked me.

  He was right. There was no way Java should be alone with the twins. They were too dangerous. So I followed him to the tetherball pole.

  “What are you doing here?” Sherry Silverspoon asked me.

  “We only invited Java,” Jerry Silverspoon added.

  “Java and I are a team. It’s us against you guys.”

  “That’s fine,” Jerry said. “We’ll still beat you.”

  “We can win a tetherball game with our eyes closed,” Sherry bragged.

  “I can do it!” Java shouted.

  He shut his eyes tight and swung his arms wildly, searching for the ball. Java’s arms moved so hard and so fast that a wind began to blow. It felt like a hurricane.

  Whoosh! The ball whizzed around the pole.

  Sherry reached for it, but it was spinning too fast for her.

  Jerry jumped up and tried to slam it. But he couldn’t.

  Humans are no match for robots!

  The rope spun faster and faster, winding itself around and around the pole. It moved so hard and so fast it pulled the pole right out of the ground.

  The pole shot up into the sky like a helicopter! And the rope was completely wrapped around it. Which meant …

  “We win!” I exclaimed.

  “I can win with my eyes closed, too!” Java said.

  The Silverspoon twins stared at him, their mouths wide open.

  “You’re one weird kid,” Jerry said.

  “But you’re a winner,” Sherry added.

  “We like winners,” they said together.

  “You should be in our group for the science fair,” Jerry said.

  So that was their plan. They were going to trick my super-smart cousin into working on their science project with them by pretending to be his friends.

  It wasn’t fair. Java was my android. I wanted him to use his super-smart computer brain to help Stanley and me with our science project.

  We wanted to make something really cool—something that could move or light up. Not like last year’s tornado in a bottle. Four other groups had done the same thing.

  It wasn’t going to be easy to come up with a project that could win first prize. But three heads would be better than one. Especially if one of them was a super-smart robot head.

  The Silverspoon twins had to be stopped!

  6.

  Top Secret

  “You’re not going to believe what the Silverspoon twins did to me!” I called out as I ran into Mom’s lab after school.

  Mom flipped up her goggles and turned off her fiery torch.

  “What did they do now, honey?” she asked.

  “They tricked Java into helping them with their science fair project!” I answered. “It’s just like them to do something like that.”

  “How did they trick him?” Mom wondered.

  “They asked him,” I replied. “And he didn’t know he was supposed to say no.”

  “Why should he say no?” Mom asked.

  “Because he’s my android,” I whined.

  “He may be part of our family,” Mom agreed, “but he’s programmed to be his own person. He needs to act like a real kid.”

  “Real kids are not friends with the Silverspoons,” I grumbled.

  Mom looked around. “Where is Java now?”

  “In the living room with them.” I couldn’t believe Mom wasn’t taking my side. “Stanley’s in the house, too, waiting for me.”

  “Then don’t you think you should go in the house?” Mom asked.

  She was right. It wasn’t fair to leave my best friend alone with those twins.

  Of course, if it wasn’t for her robot, the Silverspoons wouldn’t even be in our house. And they wouldn’t have a super-smart robot helping them with their project.

  But I wasn’t going to let any of that stop me. In fact, I was going to make it impossible for the Silverspoons and Java to win first prize.

  I grabbed all the copper wires, a hammer, and a whole box of nails from Mom’s toolbox. That was more than Stanley and I would need for our project, but I wanted to make sure the Silverspoons couldn’t get their hands on my mom’s supplies.

  They already had our robot.

  “Wait for me,” Mom said. “I want to observe Java with his new friends.”

  I wished she’d stop calling the twins his friends.

  The first thing I saw when I came back into the house was Stanley’s butt sticking out of the pantry.

  “
What are you looking for, Stanley?” Mom asked.

  “The materials for our science fair project,” Stanley said.

  “Shhh … the project’s a secret,” I reminded him.

  Just then, the Silverspoon twins and Java walked into the kitchen. I hid the wires behind my back. Stanley closed the pantry door.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Applebaum,” Sherry said.

  “So nice to see you,” Jerry added.

  Mom smiled at the twins.

  I couldn’t believe she was falling for their nice-kid act.

  Mom went into the refrigerator and pulled out five cans of soda. “Anyone want a soft drink?”

  I wanted a soda. But I didn’t want to put the nails and wires down to open it. That might give away our secret project.

  “Hey, Stanley,” I asked. “Open one of those for me, will ya?”

  “I can do it!” Java shouted. He grabbed a can and squeezed. The can popped open in his fist. Fizzy brown cola exploded all over the kitchen.

  Boy, was he strong.

  “This canned drink is not soft,” Java told my mom. “It is hard, actually.”

  The Silverspoon twins stared at Java. Their eyes nearly popped out of their heads.

  “Java, quit kidding around.” I nudged him with my elbow.

  Java looked at me. He had no idea what I was talking about.

  “You kids should probably get to work,” Mom said as she wiped up spilled cola from the floor.

  “We’re using the kitchen,” I told Java and the Silverspoons. “You guys can work in the living room.”

  As Java and the twins walked away, Stanley started laughing. “Your cousin’s hilarious.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. A real riot.”

  Stanley went back to the pantry and pulled out a big bag of potatoes. “We’ll need one of these to make the electric battery,” he said.

  “I don’t get it. Are potatoes electric?”

  “No,” Stanley told me. “The nails and the wires work together inside the potato to make heat energy. Then the energy is forced into the clock.”

  He held up the small electric clock we were going to attach to our battery.

  “You’re sure a potato battery will be powerful enough to turn on the clock?” I asked.

  Stanley nodded. “That’s what it said in the book.”

  It was a good thing Stanley had found a science book with all the instructions for our project. I had been so busy trying to master my disappearing scarf trick, I had kind of forgotten about it.

  “The first thing we have to do is hammer a nail into the potato,” Stanley told me.

  “Okay.” I started hammering.

  Splat! The potato broke into a billion pieces that scattered all over the room.

  I pulled out another potato and started hammering.

  By the time I was on my seventh potato, I heard laughter coming from behind the kitchen door. I walked over and slammed the door shut.

  Bam! It hit Jerry right in the nose.

  “Quit spying on us!” I yelled at the twins.

  “We’re not spying!” Sherry giggled.

  But I knew they were. And I knew they had seen the potato and the wires. I shot Stanley a look.

  The Silverspoon twins were on to us.

  7.

  Splash Attack!

  “I can’t believe you’re spying on your own cousin,” Stanley said to me a little while later.

  “I’m not,” I insisted. “I’m spying on those nosy Silverspoons. Java just happens to be in the living room with them.”

  I opened the door to the living room just a crack. That’s when I heard giggling.

  “What’s the big deal, Java?” I heard Sherry ask.

  “It’s just a balloon,” Jerry added. “I had it in my pocket. I filled it with water when I went to the bathroom.”

  “But water will destroy the potato battery Logan and Stanley just made,” I overheard Java say.

  “Duh,” Jerry said.

  “That’s the point,” Sherry added.

  I hurried back to the kitchen.

  “Uh-oh, Stanley. They’re going to give our battery a bath!”

  “That will ruin everything,” Stanley said. “We have to stop them.”

  But there wasn’t time. The next thing I knew, the Silverspoon twins were in the kitchen. Jerry was holding a big, purple water balloon in his hands.

  Java ran past them. He threw himself over our potato.

  Wow! My cousin tried to protect my project.

  But the twins didn’t care.

  Jerry held up the water balloon. It looked like he was going to throw it at Java’s head!

  I couldn’t let that happen. There was no telling what water might do to Java’s electrical system.

  Jerry let the water balloon fly. I leaped up and caught it in midair!

  Splat!

  The balloon burst in my arms. Water splattered all over my face—and the kitchen counter.

  Another mess Boy, was Mom gonna be mad.

  “It wasn’t my fault,” I told Mom a little while later as she finished making dinner. “That water was going to get all over Java. I freaked out. I guess I lost my head.”

  “I can do it!” Java shouted suddenly. He reached up and unscrewed his head from his body.

  I looked over at my headless cousin. That was actually a pretty neat trick. And yet …

  “That’s cool,” I told Java. “Just don’t do it in school, okay?”

  “Sure,” Java’s head said.

  Java reached up and screwed his head back onto his neck.

  “Thanks for saving our potato project. That was a lot of hard work. I wouldn’t want to have to do it all over again,” I told him.

  “Dinner time!” Mom said. She plopped a platter of hamburgers and mashed potatoes on the table.

  I scooped up a pile of potatoes and began stuffing my face.

  “I sure do love mashed potatoes,” I said between spoonfuls. “You hardly ever make them.”

  “That’s because the potatoes take so long to boil,” Mom answered. “But I thought you deserved a reward for being so nice to Java. It can’t be easy.”

  No kidding.

  “You actually have the twins to thank for those potatoes,” Mom continued. “It was their idea.”

  I shoved another spoonful into my mouth and … pulled out a long copper wire!

  “You mashed up my science project!” I yelled.

  Mom stared at me. “I’m sorry. The potato was just sitting there on the table. The twins said that’s where they got the idea for dinner.”

  I frowned. Our project was ruined. Now Stanley and I were going to have to start all over again.

  The Silverspoon twins had done it to me again.

  8.

  No Lava for Java

  “Stanley, can you stop reading and help?” I asked as I nudged my science fair partner in the arm.

  Instead of working on setting up our display in the school gym, he was studying a book about birdcalls.

  “I don’t know why you always have your nose in a book,” I said to him.

  “I like reading,” Stanley said.

  “I can do it!” Java announced loudly. He yanked the book from Stanley’s hands and stuck his nose between the pages.

  “I do not understand how Stanley can read with his nose in a book,” Java said. “Can he see through his nostrils?”

  Stanley glared at Java and grabbed back his book.

  “Java, go set up your own project,” I insisted.

  I didn’t want my cousin doing anything else embarrassing. Especially not when Nadine and her partner, Cayla, were setting up their project right next to our Supersonic Spud Machine—otherwise known as our potato battery.

  Nadine and Cayla’s project showed how magnets could be used to move metal. They had drawn a face on a piece of cardboard. There were metal chips all around the head.

  Cayla was using a huge magnet to move the metal chips around the face. Ha! That metal mus
tache looked really funny.

  Their magnet project was pretty cool. But not as cool as our potato battery. We still had a chance to win first prize.

  I looked around the room to check out the rest of the competition. Kids were pouring candies into cola bottles as their parents waited excitedly for explosions.

  There were also about a gazillion volcanoes with fake, erupting lava. Every time one went off, a group of parents cheered.

  Those were pretty simple experiments. Not like our Supersonic Spud Machine. Ours was a much more grown-up kind of project. Stanley and I weren’t making anything explode.

  There was no lava for Java, either. He and the Silverspoons had built a beehive. With real, live buzzing bees.

  Jerry and Sherry were standing by their table, trying to get people to come admire their honeybees. They were wearing matching white beekeeper suits that made them look like space cadets.

  Java stood near them, in his school clothes, spouting bee facts to anyone who happened to pass by their table.

  “Bees live on every continent except Antarctica. There are three kinds of bees in a hive: the queen bee, the worker bees, and the drones …”

  Just then, I saw Nadine go over and pull Java by the arm.

  “Hey, Java. Come try out our magnet project,” she said as she held up a giant magnet. “It would be funny if you gave him a twisty beard.”

  I frowned. Nadine hadn’t asked me to make a twisty beard. She hadn’t asked me to make anything.

  “KO!” Java shouted.

  “Don’t you mean okay?” Nadine asked him.

  “The average person spends three years sitting on the toilet,” he replied.

  Nadine gave him a funny look. “What are you talking about?”

  “The world’s stinkiest cheese comes from France.” Java bent over and started reaching for his rear end. He spun around in a circle.

  He looked like a dog chasing his tail.