Mr. Darcy's Foreboding: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Glenna Mason

  “Oh, Jane, that is so unfair for you,” Elizabeth had argued.

  “Mr. Bingley is so nice that he’ll never even notice the foibles of Mama and Lydia.”

  “He’d have to be unconscious,” Elizabeth joked.

  “And, Lizzy, I know he wants me there, so all will be well.”

  “We’ll be together most of the time anyway,” Elizabeth noted.

  The one variable Jane did not know to discount in her as always pleasant view of the future was Caroline Bingley. Her brother had not wanted to frighten Jane and, thereby, discourage her from accompanying him to London. Hence he had not revealed to any of the Bennets that number one Caroline lived with him half the year (the other half with Louisa and Gilbert Hurst, much to the latter’s dismay) and that number two Caroline was an officious, malicious harridan.

  *****

  Darcy had sent a letter ahead alerting his staff of the impending arrival of guests, and so his housekeeper, Mrs. Carter, had each guest’s room arranged according to Mr. Darcy’s explicit specifications. As soon as the two Darcy carriages pulled to a halt, footman appeared, as if by magic. After assisting the ladies down, the footmen unloaded the trunks, overseen by the Mr. Allen, Darcy’s valet, and Mr. Cameron, his butler.

  Richard emerged from the library with his mother’s card in hand and directly signaled Darcy to join him. “Dinner dance, Thursday at seven, all included,” the colonel said.

  “That was quick.”

  Richard glanced the short distance down the hallway to where the Bennet sisters waited and replied,” Mother and Father wish to meet Miss Catherine.”

  “Of course.”

  Then noticing the ladies slight disquiet at being left without direction in a strange environment, Darcy stepped down the hall and said, “Miss Elizabeth, Miss Mary and Miss Catherine, this is Mrs. Carter, my housekeeper. She will escort you to your rooms. Shall we meet in the dining room for lunch at one?”

  “I will escort Mr. Bennet and his valet, Peters,” Mr. Cameron announced, bowing. “Mr. Bennet,” he said, indicating the stairs with his hand and again bowing.

  “Richard, I’m sorry to have left you almost in mid-sentence.”

  “I quite understand, old man.”

  “Your batman is here. He’s upstairs in your usual room. We both need to get out of this travel attire. Meet me in the library at twelve-thirty.”

  “I rode a horse, Darcy. My trunks are just now being unloaded from your coach.”

  “Borrow some clothes from my closet. We’re the same size.”

  “Thanks. I’d truly like a bath—now.”

  *****

  Bingley was not having such an easy time of it. He had not written Caroline about his arrival with guests. After all, why should he? It was his townhouse. She was a visitor herself.

  Caroline and Lydia clashed instantly—in the hallway as the trunks were being carried upstairs.

  “Are you that lady’s maid?” Caroline asked Lydia, pointing to the supremely beautiful stranger, conversing with her brother outside by the carriage.

  Lydia wanted to scratch her eyes out, but instead she retorted, “Who wants to know, the housekeeper or the cook?”

  Aghast, Caroline shrieked, “Get out of my house!”

  “I think not. I am Mr. Bingley’s guest. Oh, here he is now. Mr. Bingley, this housekeeper thought I was a parlor maid.”

  “I said lady’s maid,” Caroline said, with a pout.

  “Caroline, this is my guest, Miss Lydia Bennet. You will apologize to her immediately or leave the premises.”

  “Oh, well. I apologize. And who is that frumpy woman limping up the steps?”

  “Caroline, leave now!”

  “No!”

  “Simmons!”

  Simmons appeared from somewhere. “Simmons, have Pauline pack Miss Caroline’s bags. She’s leaving.”

  Caroline huffed off toward the stairs, just as Mrs. Bennet entered the hall, having missed the drama. Lydia was chuckling behind her hand.

  “Was that your sister?” Jane asked, not just a little shocked.

  “I’m afraid so. Please forgive her impertinence. My other sister is very nice. I am afraid I am going to have to impose on her this week,” Bingley said. “Oh, my. Gilbert is going to be so upset. It is my turn to house Caroline.”

  With that he started down the hall to write his note to the Hursts. He called to Simmons, who was descending the stairs, having just delivered Bingley’s message to Pauline, “Simmons, order my small carriage. Miss Caroline will be moving to the Hursts for the week.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “But, Mr. Bingley . . . ” Jane said, having followed Bingley to his study door.

  “I’m sorry you had to witness this unmitigated disaster of a dispute, Miss Bennet. You deserve better on your first visit to my home. Well, forget that . . . on any visit to my home.”

  “Please do not chase your sister out and disturb your other sister because of us. We can manage,” Jane pleaded.

  “Well . . . “

  “Please.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I will speak to Lydia.”

  “We can always move to Darcy’s.”

  “There, see. You’ve already found a solution. Do not send your sister away to the inconvenience of your other sister and her husband. That would start our new acquaintance off with a rift. I want them to like me, not resent me.”

  “Of course. I see that now. Caroline and I are total opposites. May I be frank, Miss Bennet?”

  “Certainly.”

  “I don’t like Caroline very much.”

  “Oh.”

  Bingley shouted down the hall once again, “Simmons, order the carriage for ten minutes until one.”

  “Yes, sir,” he heard from the back hall.

  “And send me Janet.”

  “Yes, sir,” was the faint, exasperated reply.

  Bingley explained to Jane, “We’re invited to lunch at Darcy House at one. If I’m lucky, by the time we return Caroline will be out herself.” Bingley grinned at the thought.

  Suddenly noticing Mrs. Bennet standing in the hallway with a bemused expression, Bingley said, as if nothing untoward had happened in the past few minutes, “Oh, here you are, Mrs. Bennet. I’ve called for Janet to escort you ladies to your rooms. Please freshen up. We are going to Darcy’s for lunch.”

  Janet shyly materialized out of nowhere. “Lydia, where are you, girl?” her mother shouted, just as Janet curtseyed to her. The maid noticeably cringed.

  Lydia had apparently been perusing the artwork because she appeared at the gallery door, a strange expression on her countenance. Unbeknownst to the others, Lydia held a lovely, delicate Limoges snuff box in her hand, hidden in the folds of her skirt.

  “Janet, after you escort the ladies to their rooms, please advise Miss Caroline that she will not be moving for the week after all.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Janet, Miss Bennet will be in the blue room. You are to act as her lady’s maid during her visit. Please advise Susan that she will be lady’s maid to Mrs. Bennet, who will reside in the rose room. Then ask Patricia to assist Miss Lydia in the green room.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “We will be leaving again at one. You three can unpack their trunks while we’re gone. Just help the ladies to refresh for now.”

  The maid curtseyed.

  “Ladies,” Bingley said, bowing, and took the steps two at a time.

  *****

  Of course Mrs. Carter had everything perfectly organized at Darcy House. When Elizabeth, Mary and Kitty arrived at the pink, yellow and blue rooms, respectively, Yvette, Amelia and Maria awaited them.

  “Bonjour, Mademoiselle. Je suis Yvette,” Yvette welcomed.

  “Merci, Yvette,” Elizabeth said, happy for a chance to improve her French accent.

  “Your bath is ready. I will now unpack—o la la—I think the lavender. Tres belle.”

  Elizabeth peeked through an open door to the left
of her room. “A bath next to my room?”

  “It is your bath, Miss Elizabeth. All yours.”

  “Excellente.”

  “Oui.”

  “I’ll just undress and step in. We’ve only got an hour. I may require extra time getting to be, as you say tres belle.”

  “Mais non, I think not,” Yvette answered.

  Elizabeth tested the water. Perfect, but of course at Mr. Darcy’s it would be. He was a man dedicated to details, nonpareil.

  Fifteen minutes later, wrapped in a luxurious robe, her hair being styled by a French maid, Elizabeth glanced at herself in the mirror, the memory of fragrant bath salts and perfume scented shampoo fresh in her mind. “Is this a dream?” she wondered. “Have I floated somehow into a realm of the fantastical, wherein one moment I am locked in a dark room and the next I am in a wonderland of sensory magnificence?”

  Elizabeth shifted abruptly, surprising Yvette. Two short weeks ago she had not even known Mr. Darcy existed. And since then he had insulted her at the Meryton assembly, rescued her and her sisters from the evil one, walked the creek with her and asked her to marry him. Now she and her family were guests in his house, which apparently had baths with every room and a galore of French maids. Yes, it had to be a dream. She pinched herself. “Ouch.”

  “Mademoiselle?”

  “I’m sorry, Yvette. I was in a daze.”

  “Shall we leave a curl or two down on your neck? That will be very pretty and, oh, so enticing.”

  “Whatever you think, Yvette. You’re the expert.”

  *****

  Darcy and the colonel poured themselves a claret and settled in the library for a private talk.

  “I love Miss Kitty, Darcy. My parents will support me in my suit, if they approve of her and her family.”

  “I see only one impediment.”

  “Mrs. Bennet?”

  “Yes.”

  “I felt the same. Mater and Pater will not mind her in a more private setting. They rather enjoy the idiosyncratic in small doses. However, at their own house with a guest list of peers, I’m not so sure.”

  “True.”

  “Could we possibly arrange for her to dine with the Gardiners that evening?”

  “Possibly, but wouldn’t it be more beneficial to your cause, if you included the Gardiners in the guest list. I understand from Mr. Bennet that they are most elegant. It might seem—well, insulting to exclude them—as if someone from Gracechurch Street was unacceptable at Derby House.”

  “You’re right, of course.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Is that a good hmm or a bad hmm?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Well, let me hear it.”

  “According to rumor among the elite, and I use that term with a wince, there’s a luxury hotel, near Buckingham Palace, which has fashioned itself after Bath, with warm pools, dancing lessons, dramatic readings.”

  “How auspicious!”

  “It seems that there might be countesses, as well as princesses from the continent, in residence at any one time,” Darcy added.

  “Perhaps we could send a carriage to Meryton and have Mrs. Phillips come to London, say Thursday and Friday, as a special treat,” Richard suggested. “Mrs. Bennet will not wish to go alone. With whom would she gossip?”

  Lydia was heard complaining through the library’s open window. “Darcy, listen to that tirade—much loud ado about nothing!—to paraphrase the Bard. Miss Lydia must go with them,” Richard said.

  “Yes, I agree that she should. Lydia is totally and boldly uncontrollable. She is an outrageous flirt. Why, she’d be trying to take some countess’s husband before the night was over.”

  “The Mater would heartily object.”

  Darcy moved to his desk and took out his formal stationery. He wrote out a letter. Then he rang for Cameron, who soon knocked on the library door.

  “Cameron, send Cliff to the Bombay Hotel, down near the palace, with this letter. Have him wait for a reply.”

  The doorbell rang. Bingley and party entered the foyer. Darcy and Richard stepped to the hall.

  “Oh, no,” Darcy remarked.

  Bingley rushed down the hall. “I’m sorry, Darcy, but Caroline promised to be on her best behavior the whole week, if I allowed her to accompany us to Darcy House for lunch.”

  “Well—“

  Bingley looked so dejected that Darcy slapped him on the back and guffawed. “One lunch it is.”

  He rang the bell for Mrs. Carter to arrange another setting at the table.

  “If the table is full, you can seat Caroline on the back stoop,” Bingley said. They both guffawed that time.

  Lunch was a moderate success, considering Lydia, Mrs. Bennet and Caroline were in attendance and considering that Darcy, Bingley and Fitzwilliam could hardly keep their attention on hosting duties, so beautiful were Elizabeth, Jane and Kitty.

  Mr. Bennet asked, “What will the rest of you do today, while I read? I glanced in your library, Darcy. I am in awe.”

  “Just wait until you get to Pemberley, sir,” Darcy answered, glancing surreptitiously at Elizabeth. Then he said, “I think we will shop today. The ladies will want a new dress or two for the week’s outings and a riding habit for sure. Tomorrow we shall begin our riding lessons in Hyde Park in the morning, and then after tea and pastry on the far side, we will hitch our horses to the post and spend the afternoon in the British Museum.”

  A footman entered the room with a missive for Darcy. “Thank you, Cliff,” he said, glancing Richard’s way. He continued, after opening it, “I suggest a play on Tuesday night and the opera Wednesday. We’ll ask the Gardiners to join us.”

  “The Theatre Royal, Mr. Darcy?” Mrs. Bennet inquired.

  “Yes, and then we shall see. I’d like to take you to the races Saturday. It’s an all day excursion, with the busy streets to and from. We don’t want to wear ourselves out, so we’ll just be at our leisure Thursday and Friday, billiards, reading and whist. I’ve promised Bennet a trip to the bookseller’s.”

  “I want to hear the ladies perform on the piano,” Richard inserted. “And don’t forget our riding lessons. We can spend a lot of Thursday and Friday in the park, practicing our trotting and cantering.”

  “Let’s invite the Gardiner children over Friday for a little game of charades,” Darcy added.

  Darcy and Fitzwilliam purposely filled Thursday and Friday with activities they knew would bore Lydia and Mrs. Bennet.

  Then Darcy announced, “Georgiana will be here any minute to spend the week with us. I’ve requested that the head mistress excuse her from her studies.”

  At that moment Georgiana entered the dining room to a burst of smiles. The gentlemen all pushed back their chairs and stood. “My sweet, come here,” Darcy invited, coming around from the head of the table to give his sister a big hug and a kiss on the top of her head.

  “Fitzwilliam, Richard,” Georgiana greeted, “And Mr. Bingley, how nice to see you.” She smiled at the others. “I’m sorry to disrupt your lunch.”

  “Disrupt. Hardly. Your place is ready at the head of the table.”

  “I’ve eaten. I’ll just await you in the parlor. I am eager to make the acquaintance of each of you. Oh, hello, Caroline. I didn’t see you.”

  “I believe that we are finished. Shall we?” Darcy said.

  Everyone followed Georgiana to the parlor for formal introductions. Those completed, Georgiana organized the shopping excursion. “I’ve been advised by my brother that we need a trip to the modiste.” Excited chatter increased in volume. “Shall we get started soon? I’ve ordered two carriages to be out front in fifteen minutes.”

  “Yes, ladies, refresh, get your reticules and parasols. We’re off to Madame DePre’s,” Darcy announced. “Oh, and Mrs. Bennet and Lydia, I have a surprise for you on our return—a special treat just for the two of you.”

  “Tell us now.”

  “Then it won’t be a surprise.”

  Elizabeth looked at D
arcy in bewilderment. “There’s a method in my madness, Miss Elizabeth. I promise,” he whispered.

  She nodded, knowing his methodical madness had an important purpose—but she was quite curious to know what it was.

  “Caroline, our carriage will take you home. You’re not going shopping.”

  “I didn’t want to go with those awful Bennets anyway,” she said, flouncing off.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The ladies ordered two day dresses and a more formal one, according to the prescription Mr. Darcy had given Madame DePre. He had instructed that all the bills be sent to him at Darcy House. In addition, Kitty, Elizabeth, Mary and Jane each purchased a riding habit, complete with hat and whip. The riding attire would arrive at Darcy House this evening, since minor alterations were all that each needed. The others would be sent by Tuesday afternoon in time for the Drury Lane excursion Tuesday night.

  Just like Cliff had brought Midnight on the Moor to town for Darcy this morning, he rode the stallion to the modiste for Darcy. The plan was for Cliff to go home on the carriage. Midnight was very special to Darcy. He eschewed tying him to the back of the carriage, but the horse was so spirited that few stable lads could handle him. Darcy didn’t want a horse with a broken leg or a lad with a broken neck. Cliff was an exception, a magician around equines. So after Darcy left the ladies happily admiring materials at Madame DePre’s establishment, Cliff handed Darcy Midnight’s reins. As the lad was climbing the back strut of the carriage, Darcy said, “You are henceforth promoted to head lad, Cliff. From now on your primary duty is the care and well-being of Midnight.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Cliff said, easily scaling the back of the carriage.

  Darcy headed back across town to White’s, where he was to meet Bingley, Fitzwilliam and Mr. Bennet, if, that is, the latter could be tempted away from the Darcy House library.

  As luck or un-luck would have it, Wickham was driving Mrs. Younge’s rig to White’s, when he saw a familiar stallion ahead of him. He’d know Midnight on the Moor anywhere.