Deja Vu

by Guerin Zand

  The first thing I did when I arrived at my residence was grab my cargo shorts, sandals and bathrobe from my go bag, and I made myself comfortable. The ladies went off to work on my beverage order and I hoped it wasn’t going to take to long. I probably should have specified the amount of alcohol I would require on a daily basis since I didn’t want to wait for every drink. I was going to have to concentrate a little harder when it came to making wishes with these girls. While I was waiting, I pulled up a viewer and I was having problems connecting to the Collective’s stream. There was a Little Rascals marathon coming on later that day on one of the Earth channels and I really didn’t want to miss it. I was starting to panic a bit when the Julie-bot finally entered my room with my beverage request.

  “Can we get the Collective stream on this thing or have you gals forgot to pay the cable bill?” I slammed down my whiskey, it wasn’t bad, and held out the empty glass. “You did bring the bottle, didn’t you?”

  “You need to enter your access code into the system to get access to the Collective streams. If the whiskey meets your approval, I will bring you more.”

  “Yes, the whiskey is fine. Do you by any chance know what my access codes is? I didn’t even know I had one until earlier today.”

  The Julie-bot leaned over my shoulders and accessed a page with my access code that Maria had sent earlier. It was 128 fucking alpha-numeric alien Bree bullshit characters. I changed it to “password”.

  “Is there anything else I can do for you, Guerin?”

  “Yes, Julie-bot. If you wouldn’t mind choosing one of the other gals to take care of my needs, I would appreciate that.”

  “Have I done something wrong?”

  “No. You just remind me of someone I’d rather not be reminded of. It’s nothing personal.”

  “As you wish, but my designation is not Julie-bot. It’s—” Julie-bot started to rattle off some more of that alien Bree bullshit and I had to stop her.

  “Listen. Your designation from now on is Julie-bot. I don’t use Bree designations for anything, so you better get used to it. I’ll come up with names for the other ladies as it becomes necessary.”

  “Very well,” Julie-bot responded. She turned and headed out of my new residence.

  I went back to the viewer and called up the Little Rascals marathon. I’d already missed a few episodes and it was in the middle of one. Sure, I could have just called up the other episodes, but watching the marathons live was a lot more fun. All the other viewers would interact and comment along with the live stream. The arguments over the meaning of the shows was actually more fun than watching the shows themselves.

  I spent my first few weeks on Hell just lounging back and binging on some other old Earth TV. The ladies seemed to have gotten the beverage situation in hand, and I really hadn’t had a vacation in a while. It was kind of nice not doing anything. I did struggle a bit at the beginning to name all the fembots. There were ten in total, including Julie-bot, so simply naming each one for the day of the week was out. I decided to name them all after some of my favorite female TV characters from back in the day. There were Sabrina, Kate and Jill, from Charlie’s Angels. Next there was Mary Ann and Ginger, of course. The next four I named after some that were not quite as iconic, and this included, Jennifer, Phoebe, Heather and Mia. I didn’t bother to append the -bot to their names since I didn’t think it was necessary. I only did that in Julie-bot’s case because she was the spitting image for Julie, and it just made me feel better.

  After two weeks of vegging out, I decided that my daughter and crew were obviously serious about leaving me here for a while, so I started to take a look around Hell. There were a couple of grav-shuttles in one of the hangars that could be used to survey the surrounding area. I had my favorite fembot Mia, well at least my favorite at the time, teach me how to fly the shuttles. That took a couple of days to get the hang of. It was controlled by a direct mind-link like most everything else the Collective made, but it was different than flying a Collective shuttle or Ryvius class cruiser. Those craft didn’t maneuver quickly since they were designed primarily for space travel. The Ryvius class cruisers could fly in the atmosphere, but still, the little grav-shuttles buzzed around like bumble bees or hummingbirds. You could go from forward flight to hovering and perform very precise movements. I really wanted a stick and rudder arrangement of some sort. I couldn’t help but use body English as I did some of the more delicate maneuvers. Mia would look at me in a strange way at those times and I can’t say I blamed her. It was pretty stupid to think shifting my weight would in some way affect the motion of one of these multi-ton ships. I got over that, and it was time to start exploring.

  The spaceport was large. I measured it to be over twenty square miles altogether. A very large city basically. The first thing I noticed on my tours of Hell was that the spaceport was the only construction on the entire surface of the planet, well at least the local area I was exploring. The rest of the planet was entirely untouched and actually quite beautiful. Just within a few hundred miles of the spaceport there were rivers, streams, waterfalls, valleys, and mountains. There was definitely wildlife of all sorts. I didn’t see any large predators, but I was sure there had to be some. There was definitely the type of critters that a predator would find tasty. The ecosystem would have been overrun by these vermin if there were no predators. The animal and plant life were similar to many of the planets I had visited, which were all very similar to Earth. They were all different from anything you’d see on Earth, yet they seemed to follow the same basic design when it came to form and function. There was this one little creature that reminded me a bit of a cross between a rabbit and a squirrel. They had those strong hind legs for jumping, but they had bushy tails and long slender bodies. They spent a lot of time standing on those hind legs as they’d use their smaller front paws like hands to manipulate their food. One of the more common trees in the area reminded me a bit of palm trees, except the fronds looked more like giant maple leaves. There were bushes that reminded me of a type of fern tree, but they were in the form of big round bushes. It was obvious after just a few tours that I was probably going to find more information in the local database. I just had to figure out how to access stuff.

  I asked the gals why I couldn’t find much information on the planet using the viewer in my room. It turned out that most of this information was isolated to workstations in the different labs in the complex. I guessed it must have been some sort of firewall this Master guy had set up to keep people on the outside from accessing his research. There wasn’t much on the origin of the planet. I couldn’t figure out why such a hospitable world would not have been settled on by someone in the past. From the information on the planet I did find, it was clear that the only sign of civilization on this world was the spaceport complex. According to the fembots, the Master had created this world, but when I questioned them for details on that they had no answers. They said it was before they were created. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t believe anyone actually created a planet from scratch. I let it go since it was obvious there was no answer to be found.

  Not being a Bree super-genius, a lot of the information I was finding was a bit over my head. From the little I could understand, it looked like this Bree was studying the nature of the multiple universes and the spectrum of associated realities. I suppose it was something like what Cindy’s mother Lori studied. Whatever it was all about, I didn’t find any of it that interesting. I was kind of hoping I had stumbled on a Bree weapons research facility, and I’d find plans for a decent hand blaster or something. I did find the designs for the fembots, but I didn’t really have a need for any more of them. I also found some information on the sensors and stealth system used to monitor the system and hide it from detection. This would probably be useful, and at some point. I’m sure Diane would find a way to make use of it. As I spent more time reviewing the data store, I found other interesting designs for things like the shuttles and those cargo robots. Now, the cargo robots
were something I was sure we could use. As I went through the various designs, I started bookmarking the ones I thought were of interest so I could find them again easily.

  As my first month of exile on Hell came to an end, I started to get a little bored. I’d reviewed as much of the database as I could stand, and there weren’t any good marathons playing on the stream. I stopped taking my meals in my room and began going down to the dining area in the main complex. The gals would usually join me and it helped with the boredom being able to talk to someone else, even if they weren’t real. That was actually starting to be a problem. Having only the company of fembots for a little over a month had made them seem more real. They were definitely very attractive, and at times it was hard not to have inappropriate thoughts.

  One day, during one of our meal times, I happened to mention how I was starting to miss my wives. The discussion at some point turned to sex and Mia decided she had some information that might be worth sharing. “We are capable of sexual interaction, Guerin.”

  “Yes, I’m sure you are, Mia. I’ve seen your design sheets.” Actually, I basically just looked at the pictures on the viewer and didn’t bother to read the articles. I’m not going to lie about that. What I did see led me to believe that they were, how shall I say this, fully functional?

  I was starting to wonder about this mysterious Bree they called Master. I wondered if he was still around. If he was, I could see us enjoying each others company and a few brewskies. I think we probably had a lot in common. After being married to two women for a bit, and having a majority female crew as well as two daughters on the Ryvius, I could sort of understand running off to a secluded planet with a few fembots who called you Master. The grav-shuttles definitely got points for coolness, and we both seemed to have issues with the Collective’s rulebook as well. I also felt a bit sorry for whoever it was. I mean, the planet was abandoned, so I assumed the Collective had put an end to his fun. We had that in common as well. Well actually, the Collective was still working on ending my fun. They hadn’t succeeded yet. Maybe the exile to Hell was the beginning of the end for my new hero and I was just following in his footprints. I hoped I was wrong about that.

  As I was saying, things were getting a little bit boring on this planet, so I decided to start trying to have conversations with the ladies. One day while I was eating breakfast, I started to wonder if the fembots could eat and drink.

  “Jennifer, can you ladies eat and drink? Will that make you short out or something?” This seemed to be a good place to start.

  “We don’t need to eat. Our batteries will power us for several hundred years before they require replacement under normal daily usage. If we are less active, as we have been for the last 9643 years, they will last much longer.”

  Ok, for 9643+ years old, these fembots were holding up quite well, but that wasn’t my question. “Yes, yes, I knew that.” Not really, but I didn’t want to come across as some kind of idiot. “But my question was, can you eat and drink, not do you have to.”

  “We can eat and drink. Our internal organs will convert the substances into energy that we can store for use.” Jennifer’s expression remained unchanged.

  “But you don’t normally eat and drink, right?”

  “That is correct.”

  “Can you not taste the food?”

  “We have the sense of taste as well as smell.”

  “You don’t enjoy the taste of food then?”

  Now Jennifer’s expression changed slightly. It was one of those android “does not compute” sort of looks. It was as if she was searching her code for an answer that didn’t exist. “I do not understand the question, Guerin.”

  “I guess the question is, do you have emotions? Do things make you happy or sad? Do you laugh or cry?”

  Jennifer’s head jerked a bit as if the answer she had been looking for had been found. “We are designed to respond to external stimuli. Perhaps not in the way a human might respond.”

  Ok, now we were getting to the fun stuff. “So, how is it different?”

  “We are motivated to serve our master, you, Guerin. When we serve our master’s wishes, our primary motivation is satisfied. That feeling of satisfaction, you can say, is our happiness. When we fail in a task assigned to us we feel unsatisfied, or unhappy. Protecting you, making sure your basic needs are met, that is imprinted into us as the fundamental services which brings us this satisfaction or happiness.”

  Ok, I just couldn’t help myself at this point. “So, if I asked you to come over here, bend over my knee, and let me give you a good spanking, that would make you happy?”

  “Very much so, Guerin. Would you like to do that now?”

  “No, no. It was just a question. Did your original master ask you to do that?”

  “No, but he asked us to do many other things that made us happy.”

  “Oh, I bet he did.” I couldn’t help but smile. You had to give the old master some credit here. He seemed to think of everything one would need in a good fembot design. They were happy making their master happy, and they were a cheap date to boot. “But that’s not really what I’m trying to figure out. You don’t seem to have emotions, at least you don’t express them. You don’t smile for instance. Normally, if I asked a human female if she’d like a good spanking, she might smile, or in some cases, slap me. You just seemed to not even react.”

  “I can do both. Which would you prefer?”

  “Neither. See, that’s what I’m trying to get at. You don’t seem to have your own feelings. If I wanted to abuse or hurt you, you’d still be happy if that was what I wanted to do. You’re not really alive I guess. You’re simple machines.”

  “We are not simple machines. We are very complex organisms, not much different from you. We may function differently, but we are also biological constructs just like you. We are not made of metal and wires. We live, and we can die.”

  “But you run on batteries and you don’t grow old. That’s not the same as a human.”

  “I did not say we were the same as humans, just similar. Our skeletal structure is organic in nature but very different chemically from your’s. This makes us more resilient than a human. Our minds function in a similar fashion to your’s, but the chemical composition is different resulting in us being able to process data faster and to store much more. All of this was in the design documents you reviewed, did you not understand the designs?”

  Ok, like I said, I had just been looking at the pictures. I didn’t actually read the text or study the detailed design drawings. “It’s not that I didn’t understand them. I only had time to glance over the designs, so I’m not familiar with all of the details. Still, you all seem to be lacking what I would call a personality. It seems like I’m talking to a computer when I speak with any of you. If I had asked Mia these questions instead of you, I suspect I would have gotten the exact same responses.”

  “If you wish us to have unique personalities, we can do that.”

  “Really? How would you know what personalities would please me?”

  “Aren’t personalities something one develops? Should our personalities not be based on our interactions and experiences?”

  “I guess, but you only have your experiences with your old master and me to draw on.”

  “We shall begin working on this problem, Guerin. It is a most challenging request. It will bring us much happiness when we succeed.”

  “Good. I’m glad I could help out. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll excuse myself. I feel like a walk. Just for reference, you’re all a lot more frustrating to talk to than human women, and that’s not a compliment. Human women are bad enough. While you work on your personalities, you might want to keep that in mind.”

  Well, that was pretty much a waste of time. I couldn’t so much as get a smile out of any of them. The little experiment in personalities might be interesting though, although I doubted it was going to turn out well, at least not where I was concerned. As I walked out towards one of my favorit
e swimming holes, I couldn’t help getting a little bit mad at my crew. If they were going to strand me here it would have been nice if they had let me take Alpha along. At least I’d have someone to share my walks with, and I’m sure Alpha would have enjoyed all the open space. At least Alpha had a real personality as well. I checked my 45 as I walked to make sure it was in good working condition. I still hadn’t run into any of the predators in the area, but I did know from the archives that there was a rather large wolf-bear sort of creature that existed in this area. Shit, the thought finally hit me, since I now had a planet, I guess I was going to have to start naming all this new shit. I really hated having to name everything.

  ◆◆◆

  I arrived at the swimming hole and I started to get undressed. There really wasn’t any reason to wear a bathing suit out here all by myself. The fembots never followed me out on my walks and even if they did, what difference would it make? I mean, who’s embarrassed if their coffee maker sees them naked?

  The swimming hole was a rather large pond, or perhaps a small lake, that fed off the creek that ran through the area. It was in a rocky area that seemed to form this body of water. It had a shoreline around it made of fine pebbles that were too big to be considered sand, but too small to be considered stones. It reminded me a bit of the rock quarries I used to swim in as a child, and it was almost three-quarters of a mile wide in both directions. It was possible that it was a rock quarry that was mined for the aggregate used in the construction of the spaceport. It really didn’t matter, but I was so bored I just grasped at any stupid subject I could to keep my mind busy. The temperature in the water was always around eight degrees Fahrenheit, and although I did see some fish-like creatures, I had not run into any sea monsters or man-eaters. At least not yet. Of course I did run into plenty of snakes in the area, but it wouldn’t be Hell without snakes, right?

  I finished with my swim and I decided to throw down a towel and lay back in the grass, or whatever the green stuff on the ground was there, and get a little sun. I hadn’t bothered to get dressed since I didn’t see the point. I was just thinking how I should probably get the ladies working on some folding chairs, or something to make my trips out to the swimming hole a little more comfortable, when a shadow suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I opened my eyes to see a woman I didn’t know standing over me. She was wearing what looked like a t-shirt and jeans. At first, I thought the crew had come back to get me, but I didn’t recognize this person. With one hand, I reached down to cover my nether regions, while I grabbed for my shorts with the other.