Falling for Mr Wrong

by Joanne Dannon

  “I think it’s a good idea.” He leaned towards her.

  “Stop.” Raising her hand, she gestured a stop signal. “We need to slow down.”

  “Okay,” he said. “How about this?” He held out his hand, “I’m Nate from London and you are?”

  She took his hand and shook it. “Tilly from Australia, nice to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you too.” He yanked her towards him and gave her a brief kiss.

  “You’re cheating.” She pretended to pout even though she enjoyed the press of his lips against hers.

  “Sorry, but I just couldn’t resist.”

  She lowered her voice. “I’m scared that if we kiss and make love, we won’t work out the issues between us.”

  “You’re right, but think how much better it would be than arguing?”

  “We have too much to resolve. You want me in London but I can’t go.” She expelled a long breath. “It’s not going to work and I don’t want you to change my mind.” She leaned back crossing her arms. “Please,” her voice quivered with regret, “I never want to go back to London. I can’t do it.” She shook her head. “What should’ve been a fun working holiday turned to dust and now I’ve found something I like here in Israel. I’m going to study to be a tour guide. I can study in English and learn Hebrew at the same time. I’ll earn money babysitting and Aunty Maude has promised to support me.”

  “But what about me?”

  Those four small words made her heart sink; their lives were heading in such different directions. How could she compromise when they both wanted the opposite to each other? There was not a half way point to start with. Forcing a smile she said, “We’ll always have Jerusalem.” She paused. “You’re a political reporter working in London and your work and life is based there. I get that. I just can’t fit in. I’m being practical. Even if we were in love or we fall in love; even if one of us has to give up for the other, we’ll be miserable. It’s better now than later when we’ve invested more into us.”

  Rubbing the middle of his forehead with his palm, he said, “You don’t want to compromise, you won’t even try.” He stared at the darkened body of water, his voice low.

  “Nate, I’m being realistic. Tell me, if I move to London, what would I do?”

  He turned to look at her, his eyes glassy, his lips pressed together in a grimace. “I don’t know, what would you do?”

  “And that’s the problem,” she whispered in return. “I’ve finally found somewhere I belong, a career that’s interesting and meaningful and where I don’t have to wipe pooey bottoms and deal with tantrums.”

  He blinked rapidly. “You’ve cared for everyone except yourself for years and I understand why you want to be here, but it’s a rash decision. I mean, you need to learn the language. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “I’ve thought about it a lot. If I return to Australia and live in my hometown, I’ll be looking after my parents and my nieces and nephews. If I move to Sydney, I’ll have to make friends all over again. If I go to London, I’ll be stuck in an apartment. But here,” she sighed before taking in a deep breath of warm, humid air, “here, no one knows me and I can start fresh, plus there’s the opportunity of working with my aunty.”

  “What about your family, your friends?”

  “Have you heard of this new device called a telephone and the internet? It’s a new way to communicate instead of homing pigeons.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice. Seriously, she was not moving to the moon and could fly home to Australia to see her family.

  “Point taken.” His nose crinkled.

  “Nate.” She touched his shoulder. “You know how to talk and have a way with words. I wouldn’t be surprised if you talked me into returning to London. But be realistic and think about it. It won’t work. Thank you for not lying to me about being in love and persuading me to follow. You’re a good man. A girl would be lucky to have you.”

  “But not you?” his voice croaked.

  She shrugged indifference, pretending there was not hurt and remorse spearing through her chest. “Maybe if we’d met under different circumstances.”

  “I had all these plans. We’d travel, go and see all the places you’ve longed, Europe, America and even Jaffa.”

  Her throat grew thick and her mouth parched. “I would’ve loved that.”

  “So do it, say yes and let’s start afresh. Now. Let’s do it.” He leapt from his seat and held his hand out to her.

  Standing next to him, her fingers reached out and traced the square cut of his unshaven chin. “I can’t do this,” her voice cracked. “I need to go. Goodbye Nate.” Standing on her toes, she brushed her lips against his and whispered, “God bless.” On unsteady feet she walked to her room, her heart aching at all the ‘could’ve beens’. Right guy, wrong time.

  Nate collapsed on the seat, staring at the sea, unable to believe that he had lost her. He had offered her his heart, but she wanted him to give up everything. There was not a mid-point from where she would negotiate from. It had been all or nothing.

  Plus, he promised Aunt Maude that if she sent him away, he would leave. He had to honour his commitment especially after she had directed him to Galilee. His lungs burned at the realisation that he lost. He had been defeated.

  He scratched his ear. She had not asked him to give up everything but she was realistic in her expectations. For a lover of romance novels who was sheltered for most of her life, he had to admit, she was right about London. She could not work as a nanny, but surely there was another job she could do? Eventually, the press would forget and move onto the next sensational story.

  Like him? She was giving him all the ammunition to bring down Sebastian. And then what? He would move on to the next scandalous story too. But it would be over between him and Sebastian, all over. He would have righted wrongs and fixed things for his sister. But she did not care anymore, a voice reminded him. She had been able to push past the duplicity and pain of her past, so why couldn’t he? He was not the one who had been betrayed. He wanted revenge. But Bea? Was it worth it? Of course it was. He had to bring him down. After years of yearning, he had to do this, whether it was for Bea or for the next unfortunate victim. He rubbed his hands through his hair and cursed the sweat building up on his hairline. Damn heat.

  During his visions of him and Tilly travelling, he had not thought about what she would do when he was working. Sit around and wait for him? His hours were long, especially during elections. She would be bored and there was only so much TV watching and internet surfing one could do, especially for someone as charming as Tilly. She deserved to be surrounded by friends, meeting new people and enjoying life.

  His head bowed and he rested it in his hands wondering what to do.

  A polite cough had him turning around, hoping she had returned. “Tilly. His face fell seeing it was the night manager.

  “Do you need a room for tonight? We have some vacancies.”

  “Yes, thanks.” His chest ached at the idea of being so close to Tilly and being in separate rooms. God, he was tired and drained. And it wasn’t just the heat. His hands trembled and his insides felt shredded.

  The manager nodded, oblivious to the hurt cramping his belly. “I’ll organise something.” He leaned over to collect their empty cups and water bottles.

  Nate thanked the man and followed him on wobbly legs to the front desk to retrieve his room key.

  Completing the arrival form, a wave of dizziness passed over him making him cry out.

  “Are you okay?” the manager asked.

  Nate waved away his concerns with a flick of his hand. “I’m just tired and sick of this blasted heat.” He needed to leave Israel, leave Tilly, leave the humidity and return to his life. Tomorrow, he would get out of the country. He had enough.

  The following morning, after a decent night’s sleep, a long shower and satisfying breakfast, Nate checked out. The man assisting was the same manager from the night before.

  The older man asked.
“Excuse me, but I need help. You’re going to the airport, yes? My son’s friend needs to go to Tsfat to help his mum. Can you please take him? It’s only thirty minutes from here.”

  An exasperated sigh slipped from his lips. “I’m on my way to the airport.”

  “Please—”

  “Can’t he get a bus?” Nate snapped, disregarding someone’s need for assistance.

  “Sir, there’s a bus strike and taxis are expensive.” He paused. “I’d drive him but I’m still working.”

  “Enough with the sob story.” Nate’s jaw clenched then relaxed as he took in the tired, dark circles under the man’s eyes. “Tsfat’s on the way?”

  “Sort of. Thank you, Sir.” The man’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “I’ll get Dov, he’s sixteen.”

  The manager made the introductions and Nate stared at the teen who looked like a surfer, with his blue eyes and blond curly hair.

  The teen grinned as though reading his mind. “I’m from California and moved here with my family a few years ago. Thanks for lift. Mom tripped and fell down some steps and I need to take her to the doctor.”

  Curiosity got the better of him. “What about your Dad?”

  “He’s in Jerusalem for work, just for a couple of days. It’s cool man, thanks for the ride,” Dov said as they walked to Nate’s rental.

  During the thirty minutes to Tsfat, Dov chatted, which surprised Nate who expected a sixteen year old to be moody or sullen.

  “Do you like living here?” Nate asked, interested in a teen who was so different to himself at that same age. Dov was friendly, relaxed and confident whereas Nate had been angry, hurt and bitter.

  “Yeah, took me awhile. I miss the beach but hey, it’s great here.”

  Nate hid his surprise, expecting the boy to be resentful from being uprooted from the beaches in LA to this tiny country in the Middle East. “What will you do when you finish school?”

  “We all do three years in the army and then I’m going to travel. I’m not going back to LA and spend my time visiting family. No way, I want to see Asia and Australia.” Dov paused. “Have you been there? Got any suggestions?”

  Nate’s throat clogged with thoughts of his Tilly and he nodded in reply.

  “I heard the girls are good looking in Australia,” Dov said.

  Nate bit his lip so not to laugh at Dov’s sincerity – he seemed much older than sixteen. He answered honestly, with a smile. “They are good looking.”

  “You have an Australian girl?” Dov asked.

  Nate took his eyes momentarily off the road to stare at the youth, “why do you ask?”

  The youth shrugged and look out the window. “I dunno, just did.”

  Nate cleared his throat a couple of times. “Well, yes. I have…I had.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Pardon?” Nate was growing tired from the inquisition. “You ask a lot of questions.”

  “I was raised that way,” Dov said with a flippant tone.

  “Her name is Matilda, Tilly for short.” Just saying her name made his lungs need extra air. He turned up the air conditioning fan so it blew stronger on his face.

  “That’s a nice name.” Dov said before pointing to a sign. “You need to turn here.” Dov then directed him to his home. “Thanks for the lift, I really appreciate it,” he said with a genuine sincerity as he gathered his things. He stopped and turned to Nate and said, “This is an ancient city, thousands of years old. It’s the home of Kabbalah. If you’re looking for answers, you should ask here.”

  “Are you sure you’re sixteen?” Nate asked.

  Dov slouched in his seat and looked at Nate. “When I moved here and was missing my friends, Mom used to tell me, ‘Let your faith be bigger than your fears’.” He drew in a deep breath. “It’s taken me awhile but it now makes sense and I think about it when I’m missing life back in LA.”

  Nate leaned over and ruffled Dov’s hair. “You’re a smart kid.” He held out his hand. “All the best and I hope your Mum’s okay.”

  “Me too, thanks.” Dov got out of the car and after a quick wave, headed to his house.

  Nate sat for a few minutes thinking about the kid and all the changes he made for his parents. Moving here, missing his friends and family, yet there was no antagonism. It would have been hard when they first migrated, learning the language, making new friends. But Dov had seemingly adjusted pretty well.

  The teen seemed so balanced and there was none of the sour disposition he’d carried as a teenager. But then, Dov had loving parents who wanted and believed in him. Closing his eyes, Nate wondered how he would have been if he had experienced an easy going, happy childhood. Would he have been so determined to achieve? How different would he have been now? Would he have managed the issue with Tilly differently?

  His foster parents had instilled wonderful traits of compassion and care in him and Bea. He owed them so much. It could not have been easy taking in two teenagers with their history, yet they had. It was not enough to say thanks, so Nate had added their name, Young, to his, giving him a double barrel surname, Morgan-Young. So had Bea.

  He rubbed balled fists over his eyes and thought about Tilly. He wondered what she was doing? Tilly. Even her name was a shredder to his guts. Her reasoning for them being apart was realistic, yet his chest ached every time he thought about the decision. He understood her reasoning for not wanting to move to London, but losing her was hurting in a way he had never felt before. More than when his mother died and certainly more than when Paisley ended their engagement.

  The hurt ached in his chest as if a hundred knives had been flung into his torso. His head rested on the car’s steering wheel as he recalled Tilly’s parting words.

  She was not interested in being with him and there was no compromise. What was the use in going over it again? He did not need her to reject him and his ideas again. All the plans he had thought about over the past couple of days, them travelling, them being together – gone. He sucked in sharp breath. Time to accept it and move on.

  Back to London, back to his life, back to his work. Lifting his head, he started the car and made his way through the windy roads until he came to an intersection. It was here that he would need to make his final decision. One way would return him to Tiberius, whilst the other would take him to the airport. With a sad sigh, he turned the car in the direction of Ben Gurion airport and away from Tilly.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Tilly lay in bed unable to move her weary body. Self-doubt had given her a night of interrupted and restless sleep, making it seem she had only dozed for a couple of minutes rather than eight hours. Despite her bravado in making a life changing resolution to remain in Israel, uncertainty about her and Nate itched up and down her spine. Should she have made more allowances for him? Should she have just gone to London and pretended everything was okay when really it wasn’t? At least she would be with Nate instead of on her own.

  To stop the tears of self-pity threatening to spill from her eyes again, she bit her lip. Had she made the right decision for her and Nate? Or just herself?

  Hugging her waist, lying in bed, she reflected on their talk and her determination to do what she wanted. She had not offered a compromise because she could not see one. There had been no allowances or consideration to him and the final decision was all about what she had wanted. Perhaps she should have spoken more with Nate before walking away?

  Here in Israel she was herself having a purpose and an opportunity for a new life. Regret inched up and down her back that Nate would not be a part of it. Would that be so bad? She had only known him for such a short time. How could she make a commitment like that? Was it possible to have both?

  Curling into a tighter ball, she reflected on different options. Could they live in England but not in London? Was there a job in customer service where she would not be bombarded every day with stares from people wondering if she was that woman? Could Nate find her a job? He would no doubt have contacts in different ar
eas. Just because she did not know about a job, it did not mean there was not one out there.

  And what about Sebastian? Tosser! The last thing she wanted to see was his smug smile, so self-assured in his ability to saunter from any situation and come out the winner. She could always turn the telly off when he came on. She chuckled at the thought.

  Grunting into her pillow, she longed for Nate to comfort and hold her. She missed the smell of his lemony aftershave and his ability to make her smile. She missed him.

  A couple of hours later, Tilly sat on the same bench, she and Nate had shared the night before, thinking of all the could-have-beens. She checked her mobile phone for the tenth time – there were no missed calls or messages. Sighing, she drew her legs up and rested her chin on her knees.

  “Tilly.”

  Her head whizzed around, hearing Nate’s voice. Her mind was playing tricks on her because he had checked out hours ago from the YMCA and should have been at the airport by now.

  “Tilly.”

  She rubbed her eyes, unable to believe Nate was walking towards her.

  Her gaze took in his cargo shorts and the snug fit of his white T-shirt which only added to the sexiness of his appeal. Despite the tired look across his jaw, he strode towards her and in seconds was beside her.

  Next to her, he took her hand. “Are you prepared to take a chance on us?”

  “What?” She shook her head to clear the fogginess in her head. There had not been a greeting or an acknowledgment about their unresolved issues from the previous night. He wanted to take a chance on her? For some reason, the ABBA song, Take a Chance on Me, whirled in her brain.

  Seemingly oblivious to the tumble drier of thoughts bouncing around in her head, he continued. “Forget about London and Sebastian.” He waved his hand in the air. “If it was just you and me, would you be interested in us dating?”

  Her heart lifted. “Of course, saying goodbye last night was really hard.”

  The soft smile fell from his face. “You didn’t compromise,” he said in a low voice.