by Bry Ann
“Of course.” He whipped out his laptop and started clicking a bunch of buttons. I hadn’t been on a computer in so long. I watched him with an odd fascination as he navigated his way around the screen. If I hadn’t already known, this act showed me how much I had missed out on life. I didn’t know any of this simple shit.
Rex was so patient with me. He helped me create a resume, which was semi impressive given my lack of job experience. He explained the job-hunting process to me. He broke down building a LinkedIn profile, and showed me the basics of the Microsoft programs. He even gave me some tips for searching the internet. I listened to him, enraptured. I tucked myself into his side, and I shot him a smile when I did. It felt good. No one had shown me this stuff before, and him showing me this meant more than bullshit flowers or chocolates. This was the beginning of my life.
My true independence.
...and of course, it was a gift from Rex.
Chapter 19:
Once Blaze and I got over our initial hang ups, we actually got along. Well, kind of. Blaze had a month before he had to go back to work again. He only had a few months left at his job, and then was going to move in with Mia. From there they were going to plan their wedding and ultimately their future.
We spent the month he was in town playing board games, watching movies and joking around. Blaze, despite his name, was a true country boy. Once in a while the darkness I’d sensed in him would come out and he would be a major asshole. Mia always recognized it and put a stop to it abruptly. Let’s say it was obvious who wore the pants in that relationship. I couldn’t help but admit I was curious about Blaze’s past. Why was his name Blaze? Why did he seem so dark despite his country exterior? What was his current job? It wasn’t my place to ask. In fact, it appeared to me the only person who knew the answers to these questions was Mia. I don’t think Rex even knew.
Rex was awesome with me. He really played a huge role and helping me adapt to the world after spending three years with Pytor and his men. It wasn’t until I met Rex that I realized how many issues I had from being locked away that long. It was a fucking lot. I came to realize I’d never fully recover from all that, but I could learn to adapt and move forward.
Rex was the closest thing to a guardian angel a girl could get. He let me talk about Anna endlessly. I talked until most of the rage and paranoia I felt had died down. The pain was still unbearable, the pain of a mother who lost her child, but that would never go away. Rex stayed at my place the whole month. I felt so safe with him there. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt as safe as I did with Rex’s arms wrapped around me. Of course, I got a bed once I realized he’d be staying with me. Yes, there was lots of stellar sex involved, but more than anything, I genuinely enjoyed his company. He’d grown up so much and turned into such a great guy.
Blaze was set to leave today so Rex was at my place giving him and Mia some space. I sat on the homemade sleeping bag couch Rex set up. He took a seat next to me.
“You’re seem happier Alex,” Rex said softly to me as he rubbed his thumb along the inside of my wrist.
“I’m not as miserable. That’s true.”
He laughed. “Always with the negative spin on things. Mia and I have enjoyed having you around again. Mia loves you, and you know you’ve always been my best friend.”
“You are going to make me say something corny. Rex,” I turned around and straddled his lap. I laughed when I saw his eyes darken. I slowly moved my hips over his cock just to torture him as I spoke. His hands quickly reached up to grab my hips. He dug his nails into my skin. I watched him fight the urge to push me down and fuck me or let me finish talking. I enjoyed his torment, but only because he was always so composed and ever the gentlemen. I liked seeing his reckless side win over. I set my hands on his shoulders.
“Rex, you gave me a home after returning from hell. I love you. So much. You’ve always been my safe place. Now fuck me. Please.”
Rex flipped me over in one quick motion. I saw the questions in his eyes, but he didn’t torture me with them. He simply kissed my head.
“You’re welcome. I love you too Alex Ray.”
Then he slid his hands into my shorts and leaned into my ear.
“Oh, and by the way, don’t think I can’t torture you as much as you torture me.”
I smirked. “Oh yeah. Try me.”
A huge grin spread across his face. “Oh sweetie, you are going to regret saying that.”
“I have great self-control hunny.”
Rex leaned in close to my face.
“Harder to have when you love somebody babe.”
“Bastard.” Even I could hear the lack of conviction behind my words.
“Hands up.”
I lifted my hands, so Rex could remove my shirt and bra. They came off effortlessly. He used my T-shirt to tie my hands behind my back, but he got my nonverbal consent before doing so. He was always careful to never make me feel trapped or out of control.
I laid there with my hands tied up and my breathing getting heavy. Rex smirked and removed his shirt. Holy fuck, I was going to lose this stupid little competition we had going on. My ego always got me into trouble.
“Ready babe?”
I was babe in bed or when he wanted me to be in his bed. Sweetie when he was being super nice or gentle or I was losing my shit, and Alex the rest of the time. I had his card.
“Always.” I fought desperately to keep my voice from sounding breathy.
Rex laughed and traced his fingers gently down my stomach. I shivered.
“Not affected at all, right?”
“Right.”
My voice betrayed me. Damn it. He traced his fingers around my belly button. I felt my shorts get wet. Stupid idea with the no underwear today.
“So, If I stick my hand in your shorts you won’t be wet?” His hand slid lower as his smirk only grew wider.
I bit my lip. I wanted to handle this right. I still wanted the upper hand, but my voice was wouldn’t work. He was teasing the edge of my pants.
“I… Rex.. ugh…”
“Just surrender. My hands are about to go in your pants babe. You’ve already lost. Just admit it.”
Then he slid his hands back into my shorts. I wanted to say something, anything, but I was beyond being able to talk. Words were useless now. He slipped his finger inside me slowly.
He kissed my head.
“You are a stubborn little shit. You know that Alex?” he said, feeling the wetness coating his finger. It took me a minute to find my words again.
“Fine. You win, you win,” I squirmed. His hand was still delicately tracing around my clit. “Stop teasing me you jerk.”
“Oh, but this is so fun.”
“Don’t forget I know your sister. I will make sure I make your life a living…”
Then he cut me off but sticking two fingers inside of me and arching them, so he was massaging me. I let out a loud moan.
“Here’s an effective way to shut you up.”
“Yeah,” I moaned, completely out of my head with lust. Rex removed my shorts quickly.
“Shhh… I’ll take care of you. Relax.”
I felt my body relax as Rex found my clit. I moaned and moved my hips up to meet his hand. I needed a release. He slipped two fingers inside me. I let my head fall back. Rex thrust his fingers in and out of me. He kissed the base of my neck and down my chest.
“You look beautiful Alex.”
I felt a smile tug at my lips. Sex that empowered verses destroyed.
“I am going to cum… Rex…”
“Let go.”
He slid a third finger inside me and I shattered. I wasn’t aware of anything going on around me. Pleasure took over my body like fireworks light up the sky. When I finally came back down from the high, Rex was hovering over me with a smile on his face. I felt his cock teasing my entrance.
“Holy shit. My body’s never static with you.” I stared at his thick lashes. “You’re so cute Rex.”
; “Cute?” he cocked an eyebrow. “I believe you just came all over my fingers.”
“Okay, Mr. Ego you are pretty sexy too.”
“Pretty sexy?” he slid inside of me just the tiniest bit. It was as if I hadn’t just an earth-shattering orgasm. My body wanted him again. I slowly moved my hips toward his, but he pulled away with a knowing smirk. “I thought I was just cute.”
“You are fucking hot. Okay Rex? Jesus. Fishing much?”
Rex thrust inside me, silencing all my thoughts. I pulled on the t-shirt holding my wrists, desperate to grab onto him. He seemed to sense my desire, because he slowly reached behind me and untied my hands. I wrapped my arms around his muscular frame as he began to move inside me. It was slow at first, and then he began to pick up the pace. I was super sensitive already from my last orgasm, so it didn’t take long for me to come again. Rex came soon after me. We laid next to each other breathing deeply. I rolled over and put my hand and face on his chest. He never gave me crap when I was vulnerable like this, and rarely said anything when the post orgasm high wore off and pretended it didn’t happen. These moments scared me.
Rex ran his fingers through my overly dyed hair. I closed my eyes and breathed in his musky scent.
“Why did you help me that day on the playground all those years ago? I’ve always been curious. It’s never been like you to intervene.”
I took a deep breath as I slowly made my way out of my relaxed state.
“Some secrets are mine to keep Rex.”
I could tell he was irritated by the change in my body language, but he didn’t say anything more about it.
“Okay. Whatever you need.”
I crawled off of him and threw on a t-shirt.
“I promised I’d go to the mall with Mia today. She’s calling in the favor. Apparently the first few days after Blaze leaves are the hardest. Today in particular.”
Rex ran a hand over his face and crawled out of the sleeping bag. I ran to the other room to get quickly cleaned up. When I got back Rex was in the kitchen making breakfast.
“I’ve been applying for jobs,” I said out of the blue. Rex dropped his toast.
“You have?” he tried to remain neutral, but I could hear the pride in his voice. It made something inside me flutter. I cared what he thought of me.
“Yeah,” I said nervously. “I love performing, but I want a stable job. Something I can make a career out of.”
Rex came over and held my hands.
“I’m so proud of you. You’re amazing. I hope you know that.”
“Thank you.” I could feel my cheeks turning red. “I think Anna would maybe like this path better.” My words came out fumbled, unsure and pained. Even I could hear it.
“I mean I don’t know. It’s not like I’m avenging her, or will even have a good job but…”
“She would,” Rex said with confidence. “Alex, she would be so proud of you right now. Revenge is the path to destruction. Love, living well, babe, that’s the path to thriving. You’ve gotta thrive if you want to do right by her. You hear me?”
I nodded feeling a lot like a doe eyed teenager. Rex patted my butt and smiled.
“Now finished getting dressed. My sister needs her shopping buddy.”
“Oh, fuck you!”
“You just did.”
He winked and started laughing. I couldn’t help but laugh too.
“You know I hate shopping!”
“I know. That’s why this is funny. You and Mia shopping. She dragged you into it when you were teens, but now it’s just plain hysterical. I sort of wish I could be a fly on the wall for that, but then I’d actually have to go shopping so no thanks.”
“Well, what are you going to be doing?”
He shrugged. “Probably playing football.”
“I wish I could play football instead of going shopping.”
“You can play football when you are done shopping.”
I stuck my tongue out at him like a petulant teenager and threw on my high-top converse. I ran my fingers through my hair hoping it looked somewhat presentable.
“You gonna drop me off at Mia’s?”
“Oh yeah.” Rex quickly shoved toast in his mouth.
I found myself at Mia’s quicker than I would have liked. Mia was waiting outside tapping her foot impatiently. Mia was a saint, but I could tell by the way she carried herself she was hurting. She was wearing an all-white sundress that contrasted with her long black hair. She looked pissed and gorgeous, but of course I’ve always thought the two go together.
People always say they have a sinking feeling when things are about to go wrong. They say knew something was wrong, but they did it anyway. None of that happened as I crawled into Mia’s car. There was no sinking feeling. No gut warning. No sense of dread. No fear I’d never see the Carters again. All I had was my usual dulled anger and the slight sense of hope my time with the Carters had given me.
Mia and I pulled up to the mall, and spent several hours going through all the girly stores. I hated it. It fucking sucked, but Mia’s mood transformed a bit and that made me happy. She was clearly very sad when we arrived at the mall and hardly said two words to me. Once she brought a few items she started to talk more. Shopping therapy was apparently a very real thing for some people. She talked about Blaze and how he’d be back soon, and how excited she was for him to move here permanently. She talked about how happy she was having me around. That made me feel good inside because, despite my confidence, I could not understand why anyone would enjoy having me around. It was nice having girl time with Mia. It was just a shame it had to be spent shopping, but she was like the sister I never had. I’d take what time I could get with her.
Three hours in Mia told me she had to go to the restroom. I nodded and told her I would wait outside for her. She went in. I watched her long black hair swing behind her as she walked. I leaned against the cold stone wall and crossed my arms over my chest casually. I had come so far since running into Rex at my gig. I felt as safe as ever I had. It was a feeling I couldn’t have even described up until that point, because I’d never felt it before.
...Until it was all shattered, because across from me, smirking, was my father with a Russian man who had slicked back black hair and a gold chain necklace.
Pytor.
Chapter 20:
Has your heart ever stopped beating in your chest?
Have you ever wished you could die because suddenly reality is no longer worth living?
That is nothing compared to how I felt in that moment.
I had gotten used to the peace I felt with Mia and Rex. I wanted to retreat. I wanted to run. To crawl into a whole.
But then I remembered Mia. That is how I got myself to move. I would not let them see her.
I straightened myself up and forced my shaking limbs to move. I became steel in my stance, but it was fake. Easily penetrated. I made my way across the walkway of the mall.
“Why?” I somehow forced out even with the bile rising in my throat. Fighting was pointless. I knew it. They didn’t come here without a plan, especially since Pytor was involved. That fucker crossed all his I’s and dotted all his T’s. He was always ten steps ahead of me. Until I knew what their plan was I had to go along with it. To keep Mia and Rex safe.
Pytor stood back with a smirk and let my dad speak. That fucking asshole remembered my dad’s name. I should have remembered I told him that.
“Alexandra,” my dad spit out slyly.
“Alex,” I snapped with a quivering voice.
“Seems like you got yourself into some trouble Alexandra,” he laughed, gesturing to Pytor.
I glared him. He was right and there was nothing I could say.
“Well, here’s how things are going to go. You are going to come with us, peacefully. If you don’t we will shoot Mia Carter and delivery her body to Rex.
Tears sprung to my eyes. They knew she was here.
“You wouldn’t?”
A man stepped out of the sh
adows. I saw his gun first. For a second my heart sank. I thought it was Anatoli. Even if it was Tobias it would have ripped my heart out. For them to betray me like this would have shredded what was left of my heart. I can’t explain why. We weren’t friends, but I trusted them.
To my relief I noticed the man was clearly American. It definitely wasn’t Anatoli or Tobias. I looked at Pytor curiously.
“Oh yes Alex. You cost me my best men.”
His voice sounded as calm as ever, but I could hear the venom in it.
I wanted to ask more, but Mia would be out any second. I looked directly at Pytor. I could read him clearly. I couldn’t read my lying prick coward of a father.
“You’d kill her here?”
Pytor smirked.
“I wouldn’t,” he stuck his thumb out to the side. “He would. He’s trained Alex. We’d get away with it. Worst comes to worst he gets arrested, but I have contacts. You know that. He’d be out soon.”
“I believe you.”
I did and that thought made me sick. My face fell. The pain took over and the tears slid down my face. I looked back and saw her rounding the corner. We needed to leave now. I sprinted forward, and the men followed. The second we were near the car the handcuffs came out. I was handcuffed to the car door, once I was inside of course. I knew it was coming. I let the ice take over my heart and body again. I watched the mall disappear along with the last of me. I knew Rex and Mia would think the worst. I knew whoever I was meant to become would never happen. All the resumes, all the lessons in business and relationships was for nothing. My dad, who was oddly withdrawn, and Pytor didn't say a word to me. That was the only sort of miracle I got that day. I…
I jerk back to the present when I hear a glass slam on the table. I look across the room at Sam, Gunner, Logan and Dana to remind me where I am. I hadn’t ever told my story in full detail like this, and it is fucking hard. I am out of tears to cry. I only seem to cry around one person and he is right next to me. He is the one who slammed the glass on the counter. It occurs to me in that moment he probably never knew why I left, and I want to sink into the ground and die rather than confront him now. I look down at my lap, and as if on cue, start shaking like a leaf. I can tell my story in a numb, detached state, but not like this. Not with Rex’s emotions in the game. I can’t do that and stay together.
