by Bry Ann
“Sit,” she said again, more gently this time.
I took a seat, and she sat across from me with her head in hands.
“It’s my fault,” she began. I scrunched my face. No way was this her fault. Was this some sort of misplaced guilt thing?
“I fell in love with someone. Someone with a bad job. I’m leaving out any details that Sam may not want people to know, but, uh, yeah, I fell for a drug dealer. I have no clue why,” she let out a cry of desperation and frustration. “Their drug ring was doing all sorts of horrible things, things he was getting dragged into further and further. He was exhausted all the time and not himself. Usually he’s different with me, nicer, but he was becoming cold and indifferent. I couldn’t hear about what they were doing to people and not do anything about it. I just couldn’t. I traded this group in for his immunity. Sam was long gone by then. She’d been gone for five years! The cops assured me of everyone’s safety. I was so innocent to corruption and all that. Plus, this sounds really cocky, but Logan’s my brother. He always has security, ya know? I’m used to that.
Well, Sam came back with Jazmine really soon after that. Life was good until me and Sam went to the garage to put food away. We were ambushed by Tim, the guy running the drug ring. He was running from the cops and had killed Logan’s security. Those lives are on me too. They were such good men,” Dana’s tears fell faster. “I was trying to leave this out for Sam’s privacy, but all I will say is Sam had some involvement with them a few years back, selling drugs and stuff. It was a short-lived mistake.”
I was starting to see more and more why Sam and I got along. She sold drugs? Well, fuck. I didn’t see that coming.
“When we were ambushed Sam knew I was the one who turned them in. She took the fault. For me. She said she turned them in because she was pregnant and was worried about them hanging around. She took the fault, and I was too scared to speak up. We were taken. In the car, I just froze. I was terrified. Sam made a deal with them saying that she would do what they wanted without fighting back if they’d leave me alone and I got released early. She made that deal for me and them…” Dana choked. “Tortured her.”
Fucking. Sam., I wanted to be angry at her for sacrificing herself, but I got it. I understood why she did it. Dana was a sweetheart, and I knew she meant a lot to Sam. I mean Dana was Jazzy’s middle name, and I knew that was no coincidence. Plus, Sam was all strength and steel, Dana was a lot more vulnerable than her. I am betting Dana would have taken this a lot harder than Sam… if Sam would wake up!
I was never the comforting or sympathy type, so I just nodded and thanked her. I could tell she wanted more from me, but what the fuck was I supposed to say. The situation was what it was.
Finally, on that fifth day Sam woke up for real. I was the one in the room with her, even though Dana made me promise to call her immediately when Sam woke up. Sam seemed a little out of it when she woke up, but I could tell she was different than before. She was actually up this time.
Before I called Dana, there were things I had to say. For my own sanity I needed to know I said them to Sam before reality hit her. I had no idea what Sam was in for or how she was going to handle what happened, all I knew is it wasn’t going to be good.
As someone who had been through their own fair share of hell I reminded Sam she was cared about. I told her that I cared. I could tell right away Sam had very little memory of what happened. She seemed a little confused by my uncharacteristic outpour of feelings and sentiment, but I could tell it meant a lot to her that I said it. She told me she loved me and that’s when my armor nearly cracked. Sam was not someone to give her love easily. The fact that she loved me, as fucked up and broken as I was, well, hell, that meant a whole fuck of a lot. I couldn’t lose her, and I was terrified of the effects this ordeal would have on her psych.
Day fifteen is when I realized I wasn’t all steel and hard ass, there was a little Alex still left in there somewhere. Logan and Sam decided to have Jazzy see Sam. I had been mostly responsible for watching Jazzy, with Logan and Dana as an assist. Jazzy was losing it. That light that made her, her. She was scared and anytime somebody mentioned a mom or mother she would look at the floor, somber. Logan decided that it would better for Jazzy to see Sam in a bad condition, then for her to live with the unknown of what was going on with her mom. I agreed too… until I saw Sam undress.
Sam put me in charge of getting her ready for Jazmine. She knew that I would be the least likely to be emotional. Sam didn’t need someone doting over her and giving her pity when she was trying to hold it together herself. I was the best personal for that job, or so I thought.
When I pulled off Sam’s hospital gown to help her get changed my eyes went wide.
“Oh my God,” I said breathlessly. Sam visibly deflated. I felt horrible for letting that slip. That wasn’t me. I was just so surprised and horrified. Across her body were deep gashes, ranging in size and depth. Her body was bruised and swollen all over. She frankly looked like a woman who had been sentenced to punishment in hell. I’d seen a fuck of a lot, especially working with Pytor, but I’d never seen a beating like that. Especially not on a friend.
“You aren’t helping Alexa. I need bitchy Alexa right now, not the one who actually gives a fuck. Okay?!” Sam snapped. I could tell she was disappointed in me for letting my feelings slip.
I shook my head several times trying to shake out what I was feeling. Trying to put the Alexa character back on. I was Alexa. I’m Alexa. Alexa, I kept telling myself. I tried to bring her back, but Sam’s kidnapping had effectively put a crack in the wall I’d built. No matter what witty, vulgar remark I made it fell short, felt fake. I could tell Sam sensed it too, and I felt like shit about that.
Days later something happened that I felt was virtually inevitable after all Sam had been through. It was what I was scared of and trying to warn everyone about. I got the call from Logan himself. His words were rushed and cold.
Sam tried to kill herself. I needed to get to the hospital immediately.
I didn’t waste a second. I bolted out the door and made it there immediately. Logan and Dana were fighting. I could split the tension between the two of them with a knife. I mean it abundantly clear they’d been fighting. I just didn’t understand why. When Sam finally woke up she seemed totally confused. It was as if she barely remembered what had happened. What she did remember made her want to sink into herself. The second a word came out of her mouth Logan exploded, and I do mean exploded. Sam cowered and thank God Dana jumped in with more force than I would have guessed she possessed. If she didn’t I would have kicked Logan’s ass for yelling at Sam when she was at her most vulnerable. If he knew her at all he would know that she’s not a quitter and must have been in a fuck of a lot of pain to try and end her life.
While Logan and Dana were distracted I went over to Sam and said the one thing I knew could provide some sort of relief. I grabbed her upper arm and gave it a quick squeeze. Human contact.
“I get it. I really do,” I whispered. “But you don’t get off that easy.”
That seemed to visibly relax her, and for that I was grateful.
After the suicide attempt Sam was nearly murdered in her hospital bed. It was intercepted by Gunner, badass moto. After talking to Sam about the incident it was clear that nearly being murdered had helped her in a really fucked up way. It sounds crazy, but it makes sense. The only reason I hadn’t offed myself yet was because of weird life circumstances that came into play at just at the right time; there was getting pregnant, seeing Rex again, getting raped and being so desperate for revenge I wasn’t ready to die. Sometimes a person's reason for living doesn’t come in the form of flowers and happily ever after. Sometimes it comes wrapped up in sin. In drugs, sex, violence and revenge. So overall the attempted murder was a good thing I guess.
Sometime after the murder attempt Logan got his shit together. I have to say, once he did, he became way more attractive and more like the guy I pictured meeting. He put S
am at ease faster than anyone I’d ever met. She looked at him like he was the moon and the stars, which was nuts to me because it was so unlike her.
Logan took fucking charge of Sam’s discharge. He was doing everything he could to make sure that it went as smooth as possible. The press had become a problem. They got wind of Sam’s kidnapping. In Hollywood world the articles looked more like “Logan Prescott’s Sister and Girlfriend Get kidnapped!”
The second the story was released Logan was furious, raging angry, and Dana fell apart. She disappeared off somewhere. Wherever it was she went she left crying and in a hurry. She came back stronger and more prepared to be there for Sam, but something about the story tore her up. Whatever it was bothering her Logan knew about it. He was softer with her after the story broke. He had to put on his big boy pants and be there for his sister, daughter and Sam, whatever, she was to him.
The day of Sam’s discharge came around faster than any of us were ready for. Even I was fucking nervous for Sam to face the press. She was still in a fragile condition and the press was brutal. Logan had coached me extensively on what to say and, more importantly, what not to say, and there was a lot. It was very hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not cuss out every last one of those motherfuckers.
Sam was excited and nervous to leave the hospital, rightfully so. I could tell she was excited to get out of bed and to not be treated like a baby anymore, but the press made her nervous. She even asked us to keep them away from her, which is huge for Sam. She never asks for help.
The next words out of her mouth were if the press knew about Jazmine. I jumped on quickly at that.
“Fuck no! Logan, Dana and I have made sure of that. I’d have to kill someone if they started messing with Jazmine right now. Logan explained it all to her too, about fame and stuff. She seems okay with it.”
Then I explained to Sam that Logan had hired an army to keep her away from the press as much as possible, and I wasn’t kidding. When I said army, I meant army. Sam wouldn’t be near the press for more than ten seconds, if that. Kudos to Logan.
Time went on after that. Months passed, and of course I moved to Nashville with the rest of them. These people were my family. Things started to settle in. I dyed my hair again to signify the change. One closer to my roots. It was a pretty blonde with brown highlights, and I decided to grow it out. It was more natural. More like me. It was the little bit of Alex I let back in after Sam cracked my wall with her near-death experience. For the first time in years I hadn’t really given Pytor a thought. Anna still weighed heavy on my mind, and I still had pent up anger from all that happened, but when I was with my friends it wasn’t there. The dark parts of me weren’t with me all the time anymore. It was now a part of me, but it wasn’t all of me. I felt actually lucky for once. I had my own place, a job. I helped Sam with her PTSD and with Jazmine. I felt connected to people. It was really, really nice.
Plus, I got to see Sam happy. Logan, her and Jazzy were building a life. Sam didn’t change who she was, which made me love her all the more. She included everyone she loved in her world. She didn’t get so lost in Logan she left me in the dust, which, I admit, I was totally scared of.
Logan and she talked about what Sam was like pregnant. What he missed. I was so fucking glad I recommended Sam take pregnancy pictures. At the time I recommended she talk them for me. Because I wished I had taken them with Anna. It is my biggest regret. It turned out those very pictures, however, became the link connecting Logan with Sam and Jazmine’s past. The one he’d missed.
It felt like we were finally getting our happy ending.
Until I got a call from Sam.
Dana was going after Gunner.
A drug lords.
… and my world got shaken up again. This time in a much bigger way.
Chapter 28:
I didn’t think much of Dana’s ordeal until I got a call on my cell phone from her. Dana and I weren’t exactly talking buddies, so I was a little surprised to hear from her.
“Talk,” I said, annoyed she was calling versus texting.
Instantly I could tell Dana had been crying. Her voice was scratchy and hoarse. When she said my name, it sounded more like a plea than a greeting. Instantly my mind went to Gunner. I snapped. If hurt, her I swore to God I was going to kick his ass. Dana looked one heartbreak away from joining a convent. It wasn’t even compassion fueling my rage, it was just the idea that anyone could hurt Dana at all. She is literally the sweetest. Plus, after all Sam went through to protect her, if someone hurt her I’d probably kill them. I practically growled just thinking about it. Dana cut off my spiraling thoughts.
“He’s gone. Gunner’s gone! He’s in trouble. I’m…. Logan can’t know or the police. They’ll kill him. They came… Tanner was… I …” Her voice was jumbled, and she stumbled over her words. All I heard was “he’s gone” and “Tanner”. Gunner was in trouble, and somehow the guy who raped her was involved. What the hell had she gotten herself involved in? I swore to God I was gonna kick Gunner’s ass for letting her get tied up in this a-fucking-gain.
I didn’t even hesitate. I told her I was coming. I knew she’d tried to kill herself before, and I wouldn’t let her try again under my watch. Of course, I couldn’t let her know I cared so I told her Sam cared and would be upset if anything happened to her. I needed to be sure she was protected against her own mind, without implicating myself.
The second we were off the phone I called a number I never called. Logan.
“This is Logan Prescott speaking,” he answered. I snorted, so professional. “Alexa?” he asked in shock, after glancing at the caller ID.
“Yeah it’s me.”
“Uh, what’s up?”
I could tell he was totally thrown off. I mean I literally had never called him personally. It felt sort of shitty to lie to him about his little sister, but I couldn’t break my promise to Dana until I knew what she was tied up in. I knew firsthand the damage loving someone could do.
“Can I borrow your jet Logan? Pretty please.”
“My jet?”
“Yeah sorry it’s…”
I heard the phone being pulled out of Logan’s hand, there was fighting and then Sam’s voice came on the speaker. “Logan’s gone. What’s wrong with Dana?”
“Nothing.” Yeah, huge lie.
“Bull fucking shit. You never call Logan, and you need to borrow his jet. Why? You miss Mike all of the sudden!”
She was so bitchy when she was pissed. I l couldn’t help but laugh.
“Maybe I do.”
“Then call him or find a new fuck buddy. In the meantime, tell me what the hell is going on with Dana.”
“Sam…”
“No!” she snapped. Yep, Sam was in protective mommy mode. “Don’t Sam me! You tell me or there’s no way in hell you are borrowing the jet.”
“It’s Logan’s, not yours.”
There was a very telling silence on the other end of the line. I knew just as well as she did Logan would not let me borrow it if Sam said no.
“Fucking shit!” I yelled. “Fine. I’m coming over. I’ll tell you in person. Get it ready. We need to leave ASAP.”
“Texting the pilot now.”
Then we both hung up. I got my butt in gear and bolted over to the Prescott’s. The second I got over there I banged on the door. Logan answered, looking totally confused and flustered. I pushed past him.
“Where’s…”
“Sam’s in the car waiting for you,” he interrupted. Then he crossed his arms over his chest. “What is Sam getting involved in? She can’t handle much more, despite the fact that she thinks she’s superwoman.”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t want her involved.”
With that I gave him my best sympathetic nod and ran off. Sam was waiting in the car tapping her foot anxiously. I ran in and slammed the door behind me.
“Drive,” I commanded the driver.
“Please Mark,” Sam mumbled. She was always excessively
polite to Logan’s staff. Especially after the security guards were killed. Then she turned to me. “So…”
I sighed. Dana was gonna pissed. I’ve seen that girl worked up before. She can really be a stick of dynamite when she wanted to be.
“She called me, which she never does. She said Gunner’s gone. He’s in trouble. She said something about Tanner Sam.”
“Tanner?” Sam’s whole body stiffened. “Mark!” she said abruptly. “I need to be on that jet yesterday. Okay? It’s for Dana.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“It’s Sam,” she mumbled. As we drove her leg bounced around rapidly.
“Sam? Are you sure you are up for this? I mean, I got it.”
She glared at me. “This is my friend. Of course, I’m up for it!”
The look on her face told me not to ask her again, so I didn’t. I’d say the same thing in her position.
It really didn’t take us long to get to Missouri. Dana had texted us everything we needed to know and left all the doors open. I bolted into her hotel room with Sam close behind me. I went to give Dana a hug, knowing I sucked at them. The second Dana saw Sam she exploded.
“SAM! I told you not to tell her. Gunner will die. I TOLD YOU!”
Then Sam, being in the bitchy mood she was in, went over to Dana and slapped her square across the face. A surprised smile slipped across my lips, and I let an unintentional laugh. I quickly looked up, still smirking, to make sure no one saw me. The second I did my body went cold. I found myself face to face with a pair of crystal clear blue eyes. Eyes I knew all too well. They were cold and angry. I felt all the blood drain from my body. This could not be happening. This could not be happening. I wanted to close my eyes and shut out the world, but I couldn’t. My eyes were glued to his in shock. What was he doing here? I mean how the hell…? I heard Sam and Dana calling my name, but I couldn’t respond. The past back and slapped me square across the face. I couldn’t handle it this time. I couldn’t.
