Going the Distance

by Christa Cervone

  “Gimme another, Patch-sy,” I slur, barely holding my head up as I order another drink. I’ve done what I could in the last couple of hours to drink Salem and tonight out of my head. I’ve already gone through the happy drunk phase, dancing with any available girl on the dance floor, and I even made out with a few; it didn’t make me feel any better. Now, I’m actually feeling worse, wallowing in my sorrows.

  My eyelids are heavy and I’m fighting the urge to pass out. My mind keeps torturing me with thoughts of Salem and me together, thoughts of the two of us outside of Blaine’s house. Our kiss in the garden keeps replaying in my head like a knockout in a boxing match. I wish I would’ve known then that it would be our last, because I would’ve made it last longer. I would’ve told her that I loved her before Jase interrupted us.

  And then, in pops the image of Blaine on bended knee. I burrow my head in my arms, trying to shake that vision. God, I hate that motherfucker after everything he’s put her through. That very moment seems so vivid; I’m standing up against the door, watching him slip that huge rock on her finger as he looks up at her adoringly. I certainly wasn’t gonna stick around for her answer. As I rushed out through the foyer, I nearly puked on the floor at the thought of her saying yes. Somehow, I managed to make it outside before I began dry heaving in the manicured shrubs.

  Stephannie already had the valet pull her car around, so she, Jimmy, and Jase were at the curb with the car, waiting for me to finish. How could I have ever thought she’d choose me over him? I could never take care of her financially, the way he can. Hell, I can barely afford to take care of myself. Jase was right, I’m nothing but a penniless boxer.

  “Jesus Christ, kid, you tryin’ to drink all of my Jack?” Patsy asks.

  “And thish time, hold da Coke.”

  “This is bad, man.” Jimmy looks over at Jase. “In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him like this.”

  “What the fuck are we gonna do? Should we call Frankie?”

  “No! We can’t call Frankie, he’ll lose his shit if he sees Saint like this. It’s bad enough we took off in the middle of…” Jimmy can’t even bring himself to say the words out loud. “Patsy,” Jimmy gets his attention and gives the signal to cut me off.

  Patsy looks at Jimmy in the mirror and nods. Walking back over, he begins to wipe down the bar with an old rag. “Kid, you drank me outta Jack.”

  “How da fuck?”

  “Don’t ask me. I guess I forgot to order more.”

  “Then gimme a Rum and Coke, hold the Coke.”

  “Nah, kid, I can’t do it. I’m cuttin’ ya off.”

  “Cuttin’ me off? Cuttin’ me off?! What the fuck, Patch-sy,” I pound my fist down onto the bar and kick the bar stool out from behind me. “Fuck this place!” I stagger away from the bar.

  Jimmy grabs me by the back of my shirt. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you’re goin’?”

  I can barely keep my balance and end up leaning against the wall to steady myself. “To another bar.” I point to Patsy and continue, “This asshole cut me off.”

  “Do you really think you need more, Saint?”

  “It’s the only thing that’s gonna work.”

  “Gonna work?”

  “Yeah, to keep my mind off of her.” It hurts too much to say her name.

  I hear humor in Jimmy’s voice, “I’m not sure how it’s gonna keep her off your mind. I think it’s only gonna make it worse.”

  “Worse? How can it get any worse?”

  “I dunno, you gettin’ arrested for public drunkenness?”

  I stumble back toward the bar. “I’m gonna go take a piss.” I can feel someone walking close behind me. I spin completely around to see Jase hot on my tail. “You wanna hold my dick while I piss, Jase?” I let out an obnoxious laugh and nearly trip over my own feet.

  Jase catches me before I land face-first. “You okay there, big brother?”

  “It’s thish fuckin’ floor; it’s uneven. I’ve been tellin’ Patsy for years to fix it, but he’s too cheap,” I yell in Patsy’s direction.

  “I hate to break it you, but it ain’t the floor, bro.”

  “Aw, come on. Not you, too?” I complain loudly, giving him a sour look.

  “Not me, too?”

  My brow furrows even further. “You’re gonna be a buzzkill, too?” I slap his face lightly. “Everyone in this fuckin’ place is a motherfuckin’ buzzkill. Doesn’t anyone wanna party with me?”

  “You’re drunk! Go home!” a voice shouts from the corner.

  My body jolts in the direction of the voice, “Hey, fuck you, man!” I stand with my arms sprawled out at my sides. “Do you know who I fuckin’ am? I’m Gabriel ‘The Muthafuckin’ Saint,’ that’s who.”

  “I don’t give a shit if you’re ‘Muthafuckin’ Theresa. You’re drunk. Go the fuck home.”

  This pushes me over the edge. Shoving chairs out of the way, I manage to get myself to the corner of the bar. I grit my teeth as I breathe out heavily. “You wanna shay that to my face?”

  The guy gets up from his seat and I measure him up. He has at least five inches on me and probably outweighs me by fifteen to twenty pounds. Looking down on me, he repeats, “I said, ‘Go… the fuck… home.’”

  I take a swing and miss him by a mile, nearly falling over as I stumble back a couple of steps.

  “Jimmy!” Jase shouts across the bar for some back-up.

  “Aw, fuck!” Jimmy shoots up from his bar stool and races over, managing to step in-between me and the guy.

  “Is this your friend?” the guy asks him calmly.

  “Look, we don’t want any trouble here tonight,” Jimmy answers. “As you can see, he’s drunk as a skunk.”

  “Yeah, I can see that, clearly. You better take him home before he ends up gettin’ his ass beat.”

  “Fuck you, man!” I shout from behind Jimmy, pointing my finger at him. “I’ll kick your fuckin’ assh any day of the fuckin’ week.”

  Jimmy gives the guy a forced smile. “He doesn’t really mean that.”

  “Dude, you better get him outta my face or I’m gonna level him,” I warn Jimmy.

  “Your friend has a serious problem.” The guy remains completely level-headed as he talks to Jimmy. Even after everything I’ve said to provoke him, I still can’t get a rise out of him.

  Jimmy apologizes for me, “Yes, I know and I’m really sorry.”

  “My only problem is you, dude.” I pipe in yet again.

  “He just doesn’t know when to shut his mouth, does he?” the guy chuckles and shakes his head.

  “No, apparently, he doesn’t.” Jimmy gives me the evil eye and pushes me back.

  “Take him home and put him to bed. He needs to sleep it off.”

  “Yeah, I will. Thanks for not kickin’ his ass.” Jimmy shakes the guy’s hand gratefully.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ve been there before.”

  “What’re you guys drinkin’? Let me at least buy you a round.”

  “That’s very nice of you, but it’s not necessary. Just be a good friend and take him home.”

  Jimmy again shakes his hand. “Thanks, again.” Then, with his arm around me, Jimmy ushers me to the bathroom. “Jesus Christ, Saint, do you have a motherfuckin’ death wish?” he asks, propping me up against the sink and splashing cold water on my face.

  I flinch and then I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t give a fuck, Jimmy. I don’t care what happens to me anymore,” I choke on my words. “I love her Jim. I fuckin’ love her.”

  “I know you do, Saint.”

  “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Marry her. Have fuckin’ babies with her. Babies, Jim.” I do my best to focus in on Jimmy’s face, but my vision has doubled.

  “I’m sorry,” he responds, pulling me into a hug.

  I begin to sob on his shoulder, “Why did she have to make me love her? I was fuckin’ fine until she walked into my life.”

  Jimmy runs his hand over my head. “I
know, buddy,” his voice is a low whisper, “I know.” I can feel him begin to rock me back and forth, trying to calm me down.

  Suddenly, there’s a pounding on the door. “Jimmy! Jimmy!”

  “Leave us alone; we’re fuckin’ busy!” Jimmy yells back.

  “Come quick, Jimmy. There’s an emergency!”

  “For Christ’s sake, what else can go wrong tonight?” Jimmy bitches as he hoists me up and leads me out of the bathroom.

  “There’s someone here to see Saint.”

  “Any chance you can help me with him?”

  I feel someone take my other arm, and I’m now being led through the bar by two people. My head is hanging low between my shoulders, and every so often I stumble over one of my feet.

  “Can you watch him for a minute?” I hear Jimmy ask someone. “Let’s sit him up here.” Again, I feel my body being moved, but my eyelids are so heavy I can’t even open them, and my head feels like a ten pound weight is sitting on top of it. “There you go, Saint, rest your head down on the bar.” Jimmy gingerly helps lower my head onto my arms where they’re folded on the bar in front of me.

  “Is he alright?” I hear a female voice ask.

  “Yeah, he’ll be fine. He just needs to sleep it off.”

  I then begin to hear the female and Jimmy talking. Her voice sounds vaguely familiar, but I can’t place it right now. I’m in and out of consciousness, so I only get bits and pieces of their conversation. What I do hear is Jimmy rattling off a series of questions: “Are you kiddin’?” “When?” “Is she okay?” “Where is she now?” “Christ, he’s gonna go ballistic!”

  “Jimmmmaaaay?” I grumble, attempting to lift my head.

  “Yeah, Saint, I’m right here.”

  “Who is that?”

  “It’s just one of Steph’s friends.”

  “Is everything okay?” I slowly lower my head back onto my arms as the room begins to spin.

  Jimmy pats my back. “Everything’s okay. I’m gonna take you home.”

  I feel a brisk slap across my face followed by, “Wake up!” and Jimmy trying to pull me from the back seat of the car.

  “Leave me alone,” I complain, swatting him away from me.

  “Saint, you gotta wake up. It’s Salem.”

  “Salem? What about ‘er?”

  “She’s waitin’ for you.”

  “Jimmy, stop fuckin’ with me. She made her choice.”

  I can feel the car move and a body hovers over me. “Saint, you need to wake up, now. She needs you. Something’s happened.”

  Turning my shoulder away from Jimmy, I mutter, “Yeah, she got engaged to a prick. That’s what happened.”

  Jimmy’s tone turns deadly serious, “No, Saint. He hurt her.”

  Jimmy’s words tear through me, taking me from drunk to sober in an instant, and my body shoots forward in the seat. “He what?! Where is she? I need to see her!” I’m running on complete adrenaline now as I push him off of me and attempt to hurl myself through the car door. I see where we are and I race up her front steps, taking them two by two. I barrel through her front door, not bothering to knock or ring the doorbell. “Say!”

  “What in the world?” Salem’s mother exclaims as she steps out of the kitchen.

  I rush past her as if she isn’t even standing there. My entire being is focused on getting to my girl. “Say!” I barge through her bedroom door, stopping dead in my tracks when I see Jocelyn curled up next to her in bed. Looking up at me, Jocelyn presses her index finger to her lips to quiet me down. Taking her cue, I shut up and tiptoe through the rest of Salem’s room until I reach the bed. As I get a better look at Jocelyn, I can see that her eyes are red and swollen. Carefully, she climbs out of bed, trying not to disturb Salem. “I fucking hate him,” she whispers with utter and complete loathing in her voice.

  I can feel my body temperature rise as I grit my teeth. “He… didn’t…?!”

  Jocelyn’s chin quivers, “He tried. Our girl fought back though! She kneed him in the nuts, then ran her ass off.” Jocelyn does nothing to hide the pleasure she gets from saying that last sentence.

  My eyes fall back on Salem, who’s peacefully resting. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him,” I snarl, clenching my fists tight enough that I can feel my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands.

  “He was arrested and I’m making sure she presses charges,” she says confidently. “There’s no way he’s getting away with this.” Jocelyn makes her way around the bed and leans over, kissing Salem’s head. “Her mom gave her a couple of sleeping pills, so she’ll probably be out for a while.”

  “Thanks, Joce, you’re a great friend.”

  She turns back at the door, “You better take good care of her.”

  “I will. You don’t have to worry.”

  “I know,” she gives me a reassuring nod and shuts the door quietly behind her.

  My arms immediately envelop Salem, and I pull her into my chest as she sleeps. As I rest my head gently on hers, I let out a shuddering breath, and all of the sadness I’ve suffered through these last few hours is gone. Looking up at the ceiling, I try my damnedest to fight off the tears, but I can’t stop them; they cascade down my face like a waterfall.

  Carefully, I ease back to get a glimpse of her. Her hair is still pulled back from the party. I study her face and notice a faint red mark surrounding her mouth. As I look closer, I realize it’s in the shape of a handprint. That son of a bitch. I fight the urge to leave and go find him. “I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve stayed and fought for you.” My fingers tremble as I gently run my index finger across her jawline. I choke on a sob, “I’m so sorry, Say.”

  I hear a light tap on the door and then it slowly opens. Dr. Nelson stands in the doorway. I glance up at her before my attention falls back on Salem. “May I have a word with you?”

  “I’m not leaving her,” I respond without even looking up.

  She moves to stand at the foot of the bed. “I wasn’t going to ask you to leave.”

  My eyes leave Salem momentarily to acknowledge her mother, “Well that’s good, because you would’ve had to call the cops to have me taken out in handcuffs.”

  “I don’t think that will be necessary, Mr. Vega. We’ve had enough excitement for one evening.”

  I again turn my attention back to Salem as my fingers continue to lovingly caress her face.

  “Do you love my daughter, Mr. Vega?”

  I close my eyes and exhale a shaky breath. “I do.”

  “Then it must’ve been very hard to watch what happened this evening.”

  “It was.”

  “But yet, you let it happen. Why is that? In your line of work, I would’ve taken you for a fighter.”

  “Because, I can’t compete with all the money you people have. All I have is my…”

  “Is your what, Mr. Vega?” Dr. Nelson takes a few steps closer.

  I gulp down the knot that’s lodged in my throat and look up at her, “Is my heart.”

  “I see,” she nods her head. “I’ll be staying the night. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

  “Okay, thank you,” the confusion is apparent in my voice. I watch as she walks out of the room, a small smile upon her face. I stare blankly at the door, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

  In my arms, Salem stirs and she lets out a soft whimper. I rub her back murmuring, “Shhh, I’m right here, Say,” and she settles back into sleep.

  At some point, I doze off, until Salem’s scream wakes me. She’s sobbing and gasping for air. I pop up out of bed, “It’s okay. I’m here.”

  She blinks her eyes a few times. “Gabriel?”

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  “You’re here?” She does a double take.

  “I’m here,” I confirm. I reach out to touch her and she flinches. My heart becomes heavy at the realization that she’s frightened of me. I shy away, giving her the space she needs.

  Quickly, she reaches o
ut for my hand and places it on her cheek, whispering, “I’m sorry.” I see the tears starting to build in her eyes.

  “Please, don’t cry,” I brush a tear away with my thumb. “I wasn’t thinking.”

  “No, it’s me who should be apologizing.”

  “Apologizing for what?”

  She repositions herself, sitting up on her knees. “For everything, Gabriel. For how I’ve treated you these last few months, for all the sneaking around I made you do. For…” her voice hitches, “tonight.”

  “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

  “If I had known what he was planning tonight, I would’ve ended it sooner. I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

  My mind can’t help but go back to five or six hours ago when Blaine got down on one knee in front of a roomful of people. I blink back those thoughts. “I didn’t see all of it. I couldn’t…”

  “Gabriel, I said ‘no,’” her voice rises. “You have to believe me,” her face looks panicked and she clenches my hands tightly; every inch of her is tense. “I looked up and you weren’t there. I ran out to find you, but you were already gone. I didn’t know what to do, so I ran out into the gardens. I needed to get away to think,” she takes a deep breath, “and Blaine followed me. He was so angry that I humiliated him. I told him that I’m sorry. That I…” she catches herself.

  “You what?” I coax her into telling me more.

  I watch her body language; her shoulders loosen and she looks deeply into my eyes. “That I’m in love with someone else.”

  My hearts skips several beats, but I don’t say a word in response. I let her continue.

  Her eyes turn vacant. “He went crazy, becoming a monster. He pushed me down and…” she fights to hold off the tears, “he forced his fingers inside of me and told me he was going to make me come like you do. He said I was his.” The corners of her mouth turn down and her chin quivers. “He then started to undo his belt, and I knew right then and there that if I didn’t do something, he was going to rape me.”

  I swipe at the tears that are running freely down my face. I knew he did something terrible to her, but to hear her say it is killing me inside. Every ounce of my soul wants to hug and kiss her and never let her go, to tell her nothing bad will ever happen to her again.