Against the Grain

by Freeze

  “How you been doing, Kay,” Shu-Shu asked as she hugged him. After the hug, she handed him a single rose.

  “C’mon, let’s sit down,” he told her. When Kay turned around and saw Lyniece sitting on Mike’s lap, he paused, a puzzled look on his face.

  Mike and Lyniece both smiled at him. “This is what I had to talk to you about, Kay. Me and your sister been going together for like three years,” Mike told him.

  “He finally wore me down,” Lyniece confirmed. “Coming around every day sniffing my ass and beggin’, so I gave in.” She smiled and gave Mike a kiss on the lips.

  “Damn, time really has changed things,” Kay said, looking at his sister and best friend.

  Ten minutes later, Quchelle came in with Gee’s wifey, Sandra. They were all having a good time. People lined up to get a good look at Kay or to meet him. All the major playaz greeted him with handshakes and welcome-home hugs. All was well until Kay looked up and saw Sonia and Mina slicing through the crowd. Mina walked over and gave Kay a kiss on the cheek. “Welcome home, nigga,” she said as she took her place next to her man, Dre.

  Sonia stood there for a moment looking back and forth from Kay to Shu-Shu, who was sitting next to him.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute, Kay?” Sonia asked. She had her arms folded in front of her and rolled her eyes at Shu-Shu.

  Shu-Shu laughed; Sonia must have thought that they were together. Then she thought to herself, She’s not his girl anymore. She doesn’t even deserve him. Fuck her!

  “Whatever you got to say, say it in front of my family,” Kay said. Sonia sucked her teeth.

  “Please, Kay, I just need one minute.” Kay got up. He and Sonia walked over to an empty booth.

  “Before you get started, I’ve been waiting almost nine years to say this: Fuck you! I don’t even know why I’m sitting here with you. Whatever it is that you want to say, hurry up, so that I can get back to my party,” Kay told her.

  “I guess I deserved that. First let me say, I apologize for not returning your letters. But I felt every one of them. I’m sorry that I did you the way I did, Kay. I was young and I didn’t know what to do. I never stopped loving you and I never stopped thinking about you.”

  Yeah right, bitch, Kay was thinking to himself.

  “I was mad at you for leaving Lil ‘C’ and me. Throughout the years I used to catch myself smiling and laughing from the remembrance of you. Or it might be something you said. Back then I felt peaceful and free. With you I was able to be myself. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to be me. When we were together, I can’t remember one time that you tried to change me. You loved me for the person I am inside. That’s one of the reasons why I love you so much. Kay, I hope that I was special to you because you were more than special to me.”

  This bitch has got to be dumb as a bag of rocks to think I believe any of this bullshit, Kay thought.

  “You taught me how to be a young lady. How I should be treated. What to expect in life. Survival on the streets. Please, Kay, don’t shut me out. Baby, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. Let me make it up to you.” Kay just stared at her with a cold hard stare. “You’ve always held a big part in my life and still do. One time I wrote you a letter and my boyfriend found it and freaked out because he really saw how I feel for you, versus him. He tore it up. I guess he was shocked that you meant the most to me.”

  Kay couldn’t believe she said no shit like that to him. So you let a nigga stop you from writing your son’s father? Bitch! I’ma drag your ass the first chance I get, he wanted to say to her.

  “Kay, I just want you to know the time I spent with you was the best of my life, and I’m not just saying that. I hope I’m not coming on too strong, but it’s time to be honest with you and myself. I was running from you because of what I felt. I didn’t understand how I could still love you and be in a relationship. I’d wish the feelings would go away. That didn’t work, though. I’m with the same guy. I wished you could be there or that he could be more like you. I guess once you get treated like the lady you really are, nothing less is accepted. Dealt with yes, but not accepted in your heart. I remember you told me never let a man play me. Let’s just say your advice stuck with me, but I didn’t put it to good use. I’m dealing and dealt with more than I should have. But what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. Overall, I’m beginning to make the best of my life. It’s so easy to guide someone else in life, but when it’s self, where does the knowledge go?” She paused a second for effect, then continued, “If you want me to leave my boyfriend, I will. I would like for us to start our relationship again, so that you can tell me about that next level. I still love you because of who you are, how you make me feel and how I always had that desire to make you feel good. You took care of me when no one else was willing. You respected me and would never ask me to do anything that would make me disrespect myself. You kept me smiling and were always full of surprises. Most of all you were truthful to me. From the very first day you made me feel special. All these years I’ve remembered that in my heart and that made me continue to love you. I was so young when we met. I was learning and you taught me more than you could believe. You tried to guide me from making mistakes. Some I still made, but after I made them, I could remember when you warned me. Only someone who really cares would have done that. So how could I still not love you? And you still love me, too, that’s why you’re sitting here with me. I just want to be happy again. I’ve got a little money saved up. I want me, you, and Lil ‘C’ to move out of Baltimore. I want you to be the man that you have always been to me. Can we be a family again, Kay? Can we put this behind us and move on?”

  Kay seemed unmoved as he looked at Sonia. She must think I’m a fucking sucka or something, Kay thought to himself. Then the music stopped.

  “Can I get your attention for a moment?” Mike said on the microphone from inside of the DJ’s booth. “Yo, this is your main man, Big Money Mike. I’m the governor and you bitch-ass niggaz is Kraus,” he said, sarcastically referencing the old TV show Benson. Everyone laughed because that was Mike. He would say whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted and he dared them to step to him about it. “All of ya’ll came out to help me celebrate the homecoming of my best friend. I just want to say thank you to everyone. Yo, Kay, come out here for a minute.”

  Kay looked at Sonia. “Fuck you, shorty!” he said, refusing to forgive the woman who broke his heart and deprived him of his son for so many years.

  Sonia was crushed.

  Kay got up and walked to the entrance of the VIP room. Everyone clapped and the women screamed and howled. Mike raised a bottle of Moët and said, “Welcome home, Kay.” So did everyone else in the club. “I love you, man,” Mike said.

  Kay smiled and said, “I love you, too.”

  Mike yelled over the mic, “Yo, DJ Caleek, enough of this shit. Let’s get this shit pumped up in here!” Then the music continued. “It’s time for the Per-cu-la-tor! It’s time for the Per-cu-la-tor!” The crowd went wild.

  12

  It was five minutes until noon when Kay woke up and dragged himself to the bathroom. He still felt like he was drunk. He had to climb over Bernette, who was still asleep. Once he finished taking a leak, there was a knock at the door.

  “Housekeeping!” a voice said. He couldn’t even remember how he got to the hotel.

  Kay looked through the peephole and saw the lady waiting to clean the room. “Nah, we’re aiight,” he said. He watched her go down the hall to the next room. When he turned around both Bernette and Mattie were sitting up in the bed, still naked from the freak sessions they had throughout the morning.

  Mattie held up a magnum condom. “Kay, we’re hungry again,” she said with a devilish grin.

  Kay smiled and walked to the bed.

  • • •

  A few hours later, Kay sat on the steps of his mother’s house with Caleek and another one of his little freaks. They watched one of the bodyguards that Mike insisted stay with Kay at all
times wipe down Kay’s new black Land Cruiser, which was a gift from Mike. Tramaine walked up the block, and Kay noticed that he wore a manager’s uniform from McDonald’s and his hair was done in cornrows. He was listening to headphones with a backpack over his right shoulder. Kay got up and the two men hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.

  “Ohhh, that’s so sweet, how close the three of you are,” Caleek’s female friend said.

  “What’s up, man? I’m glad you’re home. Sorry I missed the party last night. I had to open my store at four thirty this morning. Got to pay the bills. How was it anyway?” Tramaine asked.

  “It was aiight. I met plenty of women. Yo, I had these two phat ass—” Kay stopped what he was saying and the three of them looked at shorty.

  “Yo, take your ass upstairs anyway. Don’t you see I’m having a family moment with my brothers?” Caleek said to his female friend. She sucked her teeth and walked in the house.

  “You make me sick!” she yelled as she slammed the door.

  The brothers laughed and talked for hours. Tramaine told Kay all about his girlfriend, Pooh, and their beautiful little girl, Kelli. Tramaine was more laid back than Kay remembered. He had definitely grown up. He was a family man and he seemed to have his priorities in order. He thanked Kay for the ass whooping he gave him when he was younger, which kept him away from the drug game.

  Once when they were younger, Kay had kicked the shit out of Tramaine and Caleek when he caught them selling drugs for the local dealer Stink. He beat them so bad in front of the entire neighborhood that even their friends gave up dealing drugs. As for Stink, Kay put a gun in his mouth and told him he better never fuck with his little brothers again, and if he ever saw them on the corner again, Stink would pay with his life.

  Tramaine hated drug dealers and what they were doing to his neighborhood. That’s why he barely spoke to Mike. If it wasn’t for his sister, he wouldn’t have shit to say to Mike or any of the crew even though they were like family.

  Mama soon came home and was sitting on the steps with her boys. Lyniece came over with T-Kie and Lil ‘C’. Mike and the crew came through with beer and weed. Then Shu-Shu came over since she lived down the block. Mama started up the grill and fed everyone in the hood. That’s just how she was. Kay called Lady and she and Scatter showed up. Kay was the happiest he’d been in years. He had everyone that ever meant anything to him, right there with him. Their little get-together was going well until Kahdijah walked up the street dragging Kaneeka by the hand. Everyone got quiet. Kahdijah use to be one of the baddest women around the way. She even looked better than Sonia when they were younger. Before he met Sonia, Kay wanted Kahdijah for himself, but Apache beat him to her.

  “Mama Frost, can you please watch Kaneeka for me? I’ve got to go look for a job in the morning.”

  Everyone knew she was lying. She hadn’t made eye contact with anyone but Mama, so she didn’t even notice Kay. Kaneeka was crying, and her clothes looked like they hadn’t been changed in a week and she definitely needed a bath.

  “Yeah, girl, I’ll watch her. Has she eaten? Are you hungry, baby?” Mama Frost asked Kaneeka.

  “C’mon, Neeka,” Lyniece said. “I’ll fix her a plate, Mama, then run her some bathwater.” She rolled her eyes at Kahdijah.

  “I promise I’ll pick her up in the morning.”

  “Just leave her here for a few days while you try to get some rest and get yourself together, chile,” Mama said.

  “Thank you, Mama. You know I’ve been thinking about just letting you keep her until I can kick this habit. I know she would be in good hands with you,” Kahdijah said.

  “You know we got her,” Kay stepped in. She looked, then turned away, quickly covering the right side of her face with her right hand. For the first time she was embarrassed. When she looked at Kay, she saw Apache’s face. That’s how close they were.

  “Please don’t look at me while I’m like this, Kay,” she said as she turned her back to him. “I’ve got to go, Mama,” she said. She walked away as fast as she could.

  “Fucking crackhead,” Mike said. He said it so low that no one could hear him but Kay. Mike never liked Kahdijah because she turned him down. Kay shot Mike a quick glance out the corner of his eye.

  “What?” Mike said.

  “Go ’head with that bullshit, Mike, that’s Apache’s girl, man. She needs help right now,” Kay sounded a little upset with Mike. Everyone stared at each other as if they had just missed something. They weren’t used to people talking to Mike in that tone and neither was he. But Mike let it go. In fact, Mike didn’t think much of it at all. This was Kay, his best friend, so it was aiight. Besides, Kay was the only one that knew why Mike didn’t like her; Kay was with him the day Mike tried to push up on Kahdijah. But what Kay didn’t know was that Mike had always secretly hated Apache for being a pretty-boy-ass nigga and for him being the one she chose. He really wanted to step to Apache once he found out that Kahdijah was pregnant by Apache, but that was a chance he didn’t want to take. That would have been like swingin’ on Mike Tyson and not knocking him out. That’s why Mike didn’t shed too many tears when Apache got killed.

  An hour later Kay’s black Land Cruiser stopped in front of Sonia’s building. Big Duke, Kay’s 6′8″ tall bodyguard who weighed about 305 pounds, was driving. Kay looked over at Big Duke. “You can bounce if you want to. Just pick me up at seven a.m.”

  “Nah, playa, Mike would have a fit if I left you alone. I’ll just sit out here and listen to some Tupac and play with the twins,” Big Duke spoke in a slow southern drawl. He opened his jacket and exposed his two matching pearl-handled Smith & Wesson .45s.

  Kay smiled. “Aiight, well, I’ll be out in a little while. We’ll go down to Eldorado’s and fuck with some stripper bitches.” Kay got out of the truck. Lil ‘C’ was awake, but Kaneeka was knocked out. Kay picked her up from the backseat and Lil ‘C’ grabbed the bag of clothes that Lyniece had put together for her. The three of them went upstairs. Lil ‘C’ used his key to let himself in. Sonia was on her way to the door because she heard his key in the lock.

  She was surprised to see Kay and Kaneeka. She held the door to let them all pass. She avoided eye contact with Kay because of the way he played her in the club the night before.

  “Boy, you know you got school tomorrow,” she said to her son in Spanish. She closed the door and locked it. Kay followed Lil ‘C’ to his room. Kay laid Kaneeka down on the bottom bunk that T-Kie used whenever she came over to visit. She never woke up, even when he bent down and pulled the covers over her and kissed her on the forehead. ‘C’ went to wash up and brush his teeth while Kay stood there and watched Kaneeka sleep. She looked so much like his friend.

  “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Sonia asked from the doorway.

  “Yeah, she looks just like that nigga Apache and Kahdijah. I’m taking care of her from now on. I’m going to give her the world ’cause I know that Apache would have spoiled her. I feel like I owe it to her, since I’m responsible for her father’s death.”

  Lil ‘C’ pushed past his mother to get into his room.

  “Hold on, mister. I haven’t seen you all day. Dame un beso.”

  ‘C’ turned and smiled at his moms. He kissed her on the lips. “I love you, Ma.”

  Then he walked over and hugged his dad. It was the first time that he could remember ever seeing his parents in the same room together.

  “Yo, I’ll pick you up from school tomorrow,” Kay told his son as he lifted him to the top bunk. He turned the light off and shut the door behind him.

  “You want something to drink?” Sonia asked.

  “Yeah, give me some juice,” Kay said. He watched Sonia walk over to the cabinet to get a glass, then to the refrigerator to get the juice. She wore a floor-length satin nightgown with spaghetti shoulder straps, which had a split down the left side. She had her back to him. Her dark black hair was down her back and almost reached her ass. As she poured the juice, Kay walked up behind he
r and pulled her body close to his. He caught her off guard, and she jumped a little. His touch still felt familiar. She put the glass of juice on top of the refrigerator and closed the door. Kay wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed her on the neck. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as she stood on her tiptoes grinding her ass against Kay’s hard dick. She’d been waiting years to feel Kay’s touch. The anticipation alone made her cum. She couldn’t take it anymore. She turned around and faced him. They kissed.

  She started undressing him, taking off his jacket and shirt. Then she unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and reached inside his boxers. She backed up a few steps so that she could take a good look at his dick. “Damn nigga, yo shit got a little bigger since you’ve been away.” Before Kay could say anything she grabbed him by his hand and led him to her bedroom. She pushed him down on the bed. Kay couldn’t help but notice the way Sonia was handling him. She was a lot more aggressive than he remembered, but he liked it. She took off the rest of Kay’s clothes, then her own. She laid on top of Kay and they kissed again. Kay tried to put his dick inside her but she moved his hand to her ass, so he palmed her ass with both hands.

  They kissed harder. He slid the middle finger of his right hand into her pussy. Damn she’s wet, Kay thought. That only made him want to be inside the pussy even more. He could tell that his finger felt good to Sonia because she was moving her hips and throwing her ass to the rhythm of his finger going in and out of her.

  Sonia’s entire body tightened up. “Oh shit, baby, don’t stop,” she cried out as she came again. She bit and nibbled on Kay’s chest all the way down his body until she had his dick in her hand and in front of her face. She was on her knees between his legs. She went straight to his balls, kissing and sucking them, taking them one by one into her mouth. Then she licked from the balls, up the shaft, and to the head, real slooooow. She licked around the head in circular motions, then back down the shaft a few times before she spit on the head to get it nice and sloppy wet. The sloppier, the better. After she had it the way she wanted it, she took it in her mouth without using her hands—all of it. Kay couldn’t take it anymore; he grabbed her with both hands by the back of her head and guided her up and down manipulating her head to match the rhythm of his thrusts. She deep-throated his dick one last time and Kay couldn’t hold back any longer. Sonia never took it out of her mouth. She sucked and pumped his dick at the same time, trying to get every drop.