Shampoo

by Karina Almeroth

  My heart seriously sank. Never see my baby again?? I was devastated. I couldn’t fathom it.

  I FUCKING LOVE MY CAR!!!

  “We’ll do a search of the local area, see if these joyriders left it nearby, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you. I’d call your insurance company, get the ball rolling on getting you a cheque.”

  Older Cop gave me his card and they left.

  I handled it super well.

  I promptly burst into tears and started wailing, “It’s gonna be TRASHED, I just know it!” and “I’ll never see her again!”

  Nat tried to console me. Dan rolled his eyes.

  Right before Christmas and my holidays, no car.

  I rang Dad, who was all, “Aw, that sucks babe!” Then, “Can you put your sister on?”

  (thanks Dad!)

  Then all I wanted was to hear Ever’s voice, so I dialled his number to be told by his mum he was still asleep.

  Then I just felt stupid, reaching out to Ever when he supports me through NOTHING.

  So I rang Tee, who cheered me up, then Lachie and Melinda, cause tomorrow we were supposed to go to the coast together, and Lachie offered, “We’ll come over and help you find it, okay, Pinky?”

  “Ugh. I love you Lachie!!”

  “I know. Just don’t tell Melinda.”

  I heard laughter and Melinda slapping him, yelling, “Tell me what!! Tell me what!!”

  Nat and Dan have left me in my misery, and gone to the boat with Dad and Cruz.

  (thanks Family!!!! Once again, THANK YOU)

  All I can console myself with is thinking those fuckers that stole my car must have got in, saw all the pink

  (like EVERYWHERE)

  and went, “Fuck! We’ve stolen a girl’s car!”

  Ha ha!

  1.52pm

  OH. MY. GOD.

  What an adventure.

  Matt and I FOUND MY CAR!!!!!

  So I rang Matt after speaking to Lachie, cause he was planning on coming to the coast with us too, and I thought I’d better let him know I wouldn’t be driving us

  (plus maybe I just really wanted to hear his voice)

  and Matt was all, “Shit! That sucks! That’s awful,” but he didn’t say anything to me saying Lachie and Melinda were coming over, he just went, “Let me know what happens,” and we hung up.

  Within half an hour, Matt was here!!! Looking so fucking hot I could barely deal, and all Prince Charming like, turning up on my doorstep like this in my time of need.

  Evvy NEVER would have done that for me.

  (he’d be all, “Not my chicken-wing lunch” and “I shouldn’t waste petrol actually driving my car”)

  “Matt!” I exclaimed.

  (take me now or lose me forever!!)

  “You’re here!”

  He grinned. I fell.

  (literally and figuratively. I tripped over the rug near the front door)

  We waited a bit for Lachie and Melinda, and when I rang Lach on his mobile and said Matt was here, Lach was all, “REALLY?? Melin, Matt is THERE. Ahhhh, actually something has come up, we can’t make it now, so sorry, bye bye,” and he hung up!

  I stared at my phone, confused.

  Matt grinned. “I heard. Let’s go,” pulling his keys out his jeans pocket

  (dear God, I did NOT need to look at his crotch region in his jeans. I’m weak),

  (so Lach was playing matchmaker, right??)

  Matt and I jumped in his Commodore and searched all the streets in Moorooka. Nothing.

  “Should we go on the motorway then off at Acacia Ridge?” Matt asked. “Seems like you’d at least go on the motorway for a bit to let it rip.”

  I winced. I lost hope then, cause if you get on the Ipswich motorway and let it rip, my car could be in Warwick or Esk by then. “Sure. Let’s try.”

  We got on the motorway for two seconds and exited almost immediately, heading into Acacia Ridge. It seemed a strange way to go to me, cause if I were a car-stealing hoon

  (instead of just a hoon),

  I’d stay on the motorway and drive like a motherfucker.

  But Matt seemed to have some kind of detecting instinct happening.

  (it was hot!!)

  We searched street after sheet

  (aaargh!!!!! I can’t believe I wrote that)

  STREET

  (focus!!)

  after street after street. Nothing. Most of them seemed to end in a dead end, so we could drive past the top of the street without going down it, and see all the way to the end.

  So we drove past one street, and right at the end you could see a blue car, but was too far away to be sure. We both saw it, but kept going, and Matt looked at me and said, “What was that?”

  “I think maybe a blue Commodore.”

  We looked at each other. “Should we go back?” Matt asked.

  I nodded. “I think so. Just to be sure.”

  Matt had to drive on for a bit to be able to turn back, but as he did an illegal u-turn, he leadfooted it, getting back to the street super fast.

  (was hot. Everything he did today was hot)

  As we got closer, Matt started laughing. He recognized it as my car before I even did.

  (hot)

  “I can’t fucking believe it!” he laughed. “What are the odds??”

  “Oh. My. GOD!!! IT’S MY CAR!!!!! IT’S MY FUCKING CAR!!!!!” I started screaming.

  Matt just laughed harder. Oh my God, I was giddy.

  The door was all dented and scratched, the ignition panel on the steering wheel ripped off, my air con knob was indeed acting as a key, and everything in my car was ripped and thrown about…

  (those fuckers)

  But the damage was minimal.

  Neither Matt nor I had taken our mobiles with us

  (I thought I was the only one not up on mobile phones and texting, etc…seems Matt is in the dark ages with me)

  (hot. Something hot about a guy never on his phone. Like he’s an old school gentleman)

  so we had to knock on the house my car was out front of and ask to borrow their phone.

  The lovely couple handed me their mobile and I rang the cop first.

  The cop: “You FOUND IT?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where?”

  “Acacia Ridge, not far.”

  “Still. YOU FOUND IT.” He sounded truly amazed.

  “Yep. What do I do now?”

  “Call a tow truck, get it taken to your insurer. And I’ll close the case!” He sounded so happy.

  Matt and I solved a case!!!!

  (hot)

  We waited for the tow truck to arrive, the couple chatting to us the whole time, then Matt and I hopped back in his car as we watched my baby being driven off.

  We found my baby!!!!!

  “We solved a case, Matt,” I said, grinning.

  “I know!! Like we’re cops!”

  “Or detectives,” I added. “Like in Moonlighting.”

  Matt completely cracked up laughing. “Moonlighting!!! I like that.” He laughed some more. “I’m David Hayes and you’re Maddie Addison.”

  (close enough)

  I LOVE how he knows their names!!!

  (sort of)

  I fell. More so. In that moment.

  Turning up at my doorstep, taking me to look for my car, FINDING MY CAR, dropping everything to rush over to me this morning, putting me first, like all that wasn’t enough…

  The knowing and getting Moonlighting did it for me.

  I’m in trouble here.

  4.31pm

  Ever rang. I’ve got tears in my eyes, cause I didn’t tell him how I feel.

  (you’re gone, buddy, and Matt is in!!!)

  He was all, “I hear your car’s been stolen!”

  (Dan)

  “Yes, but we found it.”

  “You FOUND it??”

  “Yeah. Me and Matt.”

  (couldn’t help enjoying that little knife in his side)

  Silence. Throat cleared. “Y
ou and Matt?”

  “Yeah, well, I RANG YOU FIRST, and your mum said you were asleep, so I spoke to Matt, cause – “

  (I’m secretly half in love with him)

  “ – I was going to drive us and Lachie and Melinda to the coast tomorrow, so had to tell him I can’t, my car’s been stolen, and he turned up here, like IMMEDIATELY, and we went looking, and we found it.”

  Silence. Wounded silence by Evvy. “I would’ve taken you to look for it, you know.”

  “But. You didn’t.”

  “If you’d told my mum your car’d been stolen, she would have woken me. I would’ve come over and taken you to find it.”

  (how does that pain feel, Evvy? Hope it fucking hurts!!!)

  “Would you have, Evvy?”

  “YES!!!” Pause. “Can you come over?”

  “DUH. My car was stolen. It’s at the insurer’s.”

  “Shit. I can’t believe it was stolen!”

  So then we got off the phone and he didn’t offer to come pick me up.

  Nice.

  5.18pm

  Mark and Josie have been round.

  They’re so nice. I love them so much. I love the Scooby Gang.

  They always take such an interest in me, like I’m this fascinating creature. It’s nice to feel loved.

  (happens so rarely)

  “Have you seen our boy?” Mark asked.

  “No! I see you more, Mark.”

  “You want us to drop you at Evvy’s?” the sweet, sweet Josie offered.

  I can only imagine how OCD Evvy would react if I was unexpectedly dropped off at his house. He’d have a fit, ignore me, treat me like shit, and I’d have no way of getting home.

  “Ah, that’s sweet of you to offer, Jose, but he wouldn’t drive me home.”

  “What?” Mark asked, confused.

  “Trust me, he wouldn’t.”

  “I can’t believe that!” Mark exclaimed.

  Josie kinda looked like, “I can.”

  She is HIS friend, after all. Friends since school, not Evvy and Mark. So I’m sure she knows what Ever is REALLY like.

  “He needs his head examined,” Mark declared.

  “Hmmm,” was my response.

  (instead of, “Hell yeah!!”)

  5.33pm

  So I rang Ever to give him a serve.

  If Josie and Mark hadn’t egged me on, I so wouldn’t have rung him and got myself all upset.

  So I begin revving him, and he’s half asleep and dopey

  (dopier)

  and going, “I don’t want to hear it!”

  He’s been crap for weeks again. I’m so disappointed in how it is.

  “How about I just hear it from you tomorrow night,” he said nastily.

  What did he mean by that?? That we have plans tomorrow?? That I’m such a nagger that I’ll be on the same rant tomorrow still?

  (he’s probably right. I will be. Cause I’m so unhappy in this crap relationship!)

  I just hung up on him. He’s not going to hear anything from me now!

  Going to go cry.

  7.33pm

  I just watched THE best episode of Moonlighting EVER!!!

  It’s the one where they FINALLY get together. Oh I loved it so much. It’s Thursday night’s episode I taped to video.

  I will keep it forever.

  It reminded me of Ever and I. Maddie and David were both saying they’re sick of the time wasted on each other, to still not be together, and they’re going they’re miserable, it wasn’t meant to be…

  Then they kiss and make love!!!

  Swoon.

  Sigh. Why is Matt’s face coming into this picture though?

  Tomorrow is what should be Ever and I’s six month anniversary. Six months from the first time we kissed.

  (and got arrested)

  But does he know that?? No. I want flowers and romance.

  I want his love. He doesn’t love me.

  Mark and Josie just came in. They got home with Nat and Dan from wherever they went, and came into my room and asked me straight away, “What happened with Ever?”

  (like they knew I would call him after our convo!! Or Ever told them. Does everything really get discussed in this group?? Seems like it does. I can’t SHIT without one of them telling the other I have)

  (kinda warms my heart, I love being talked about and cared about and thought of)

  “I said to him, ‘you’re annoying me, I want to tell you how you annoy me, ‘ and he said he doesn’t want to hear it, and I hung up!”

  (funny how things get a bit lost in translation)

  I’ve got to sleep. Depressed.

  Monday 27 November 2000

  7.00pm

  Had to do everything with my car before work this morning – pick up hire car, sign forms at Suncorp repair centre.

  I got to see my baby covered in fingerprint dust. The assessor told me the police had dusted her for prints yesterday afternoon.

  Then I drove my new hire car, a Toyota Camry

  (yuck)

  to work, and found Matt and I finding my stolen car the talk of the place.

  All the warehouse boys (including Matt) came out to look at my car. “See if you can thrash this one, Pinky,” Benny said. Then, “piss on Toyota.”

  I agree, Benny. But she’s actually got a bit of guts in her! I’m impressed and trying not to be. Must stay loyal to Holden.

  I quite like driving her. I love the gears for some reason.

  (shh, my car might hear)

  Ever didn’t call today. He’s called me every day. Until today.

  Tuesday 28 November 2000

  7.34am

  Can’t wait for my holidays.

  10.00pm

  I’ve been to Ever’s. And, WHAT A SURPRISE, I’m very upset.

  Kinda numb, too. Defeated. In shock.

  Just bloody give up on him, woman!!

  (oh my God, he calls me woman all the time. Heart ripping itself out of chest)

  Evvy and I talked and talked, and nothing was resolved.

  I was all, “I can’t do this anymore,” and he was all, “I want to see you still.”

  I wish he’d stop fucking saying that. It just keeps me hanging onto him. Why can’t he just say ‘I’m over it, be gone woman’??? Would make it much easier for me to walk away.

  “I want you madly in love with me, Everard! Can’t stand it, going crazy, pull your fucking hair out love!!” I said.

  “I can’t!! I can’t BE that person! But I CARE, okay? I care about you, and don’t want you to end this.”

  (he admitted to caring!!)

  “I know I’ve done so much wrong, woman. I WILL get it right.”

  “Will you?”

  “Eventually, yes!!”

  “I only want a proper relationship. I don’t want all this other crap!”

  I burst into tears then. He grabbed me and pulled me into bed with him.

  Then he started kissing me, and positioned me so he was on top of me while he ravaged me with his lips and hands. Was hot.

  But there was no way I was making love, making myself that vulnerable, then walking out and us being over

  (or worse),

  or things exactly the same between us.

  Evvy basically BEGGED me to stay, while I was begging HIM to tell me how he really feels.

  “USE YOUR WORDS, EVERARD!!!”

  “I don’t have any words!”

  “Then I’m going!” And I would push him off me, go to stand, and he’d grab me and flip me back on my back and climb back on top of me.

  Fuck it was hot.

  “I just can’t SAY IT.”

  “It?”

  “It.”

  “Ugh, Evvy, you’re SO ANNOYING – ”

  “So are you, Lady!! TRUST ME!!”

  Then we’d stare at each other some more, inches apart, him pinning me down, then grab each other and kiss madly.

  Then it would start all over again.

  “I need MORE, Ever!”
<
br />   “Then let me get there in my own time – ”

  “It’s been SIX MONTHS, Evvy!”

  “Really? It’s been six months?” while he pinned my hands above my head.

  “It was our six month anniversary, like, the other day.”

  “That’s cute. Our six month anniversary OW!!”

  (I’d managed to free a hand and whack him)

  “I can’t do another six months like this.”

  “I’ll try harder.”

  “I don’t WANT you to try harder. I want you to be SO INTO ME you just ACT like a loving boyfriend.”

  “I just CAN’T!! I may NEVER be able to – ”

  “Then. Let. Me. Go!!”

  We went round and round and round. Finally, I said, “You call me when you want a relationship,” and Evvy was all, “No, you call me when you want to see me.”