Wicked Plans

by C. Morgan

  “Do you want one?” I tried to keep my tone conversational and casual. If he felt like I was interrogating him, he’d be gone within seconds.

  Still watching him from the corner of my eye, I saw his strong jaw clenching as he mulled over my question. “It doesn’t matter what I want. Before you say that it does, I tried bringing that up tonight. I tried telling my dad that I wanted to make my own choices, and he responded by threatening to take everything away from me and seeing what choices I had left after.”

  The bitterness of the pain and betrayal in his voice was so thick that I could almost taste it on the air around him. Taking a deep but quiet breath, I sorted through my thoughts before I said anything.

  “Okay, let’s say he does take it all away from you, you’d still be Brysen Burke,” I reminded him gently. “You’d still be worthy and you’d still be you. Losing all those things wouldn’t mean losing yourself.”

  “What fucking good would that do me?” he grumbled. “I’m not you, Ruby. Your name means something on its own. Mine doesn’t. Think about how long it’s taken you to build that up. To get respect and goodwill attached to your name for what you’ve done and not what anyone else has done for you.”

  I rolled my lips into my mouth. He had a point there. I had worked hard for years to be able to say that it meant something—at least to my professors—to hear the name Ruby Sprite. No one else really knew me, except of course because of my name being attached to his with all those rumors just after his accident.

  But the important part for building a future, which was what we were doing here, was that the profs knew my name. And they did. It seemed senseless to try to deny it.

  “Fine, you’d have more hills to climb, but if you commit yourself to actually trying as much as you’ve committed yourself to being an asshole, you’ll become someone great. Your own version of yourself, not just the version your father has written down on a piece of paper for you.”

  The asshole bit had been meant to inject some lightness into an otherwise dark conversation, but he skipped right over it and scoffed.

  “Who are you trying to kid, Ruby? I’m a fucking clown and we both know it.” He finally turned his head to look right into my eyes. His were shrouded in darkness, but I could still make out the hard glint in them. “You keep talking like there is some other version of me somewhere. Like there’s some guy out there who wears my face who’s done something to be proud of.”

  I frowned. Even though I sort of got where he was coming from, I didn’t agree that he had nothing to be proud of. “I’m not trying to kid you or anyone else. You’re not a clown. You’ve made mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn from them to grow into your own person if that’s what you want.”

  “You wouldn’t understand,” he muttered, shaking his head as he let it hang for a second before snapping it back up and scowling at me. “Without my family’s money and reputation, I’d be nothing. I’m no one. I haven’t done anything noteworthy in any positive way. No one would look twice at me if they only saw what I had to offer on paper.”

  “Maybe, but—”

  “No, Ruby.” He sounded exasperated as he shook his head again. “There are no buts here. Are you seriously telling me to give it all up? The money, the connections, the name that makes me who I am? That gives me any fucking shot in life?”

  Seeing that he was getting defensive, I tried to back pedal. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not telling you to give anything up. All I was trying to do was to offer you a different perspective.”

  “A different perspective that would see me stripped of all my money and privilege, right?”

  I gave him a look that told him exactly what I thought about what he was insinuating. “No, because I actually don’t care about your money or privilege. I’m just trying to make you see that it might feel like you have no options and no control over your own life, but you do. Everyone does.”

  When he opened his mouth to contradict me, I held up a finger and continued to explain. “It’s true, Brysen. Anyone can do anything. I created my own opportunities and so did Hadley. We kept our heads down, worked hard, and made it happen. It’s not just us, either. Look at all the sports stars, athletes, actors, self-made millionaires, and business tycoons who—”

  “I’m not like you or like any of those people, Ruby,” he exploded. It wasn’t like a full-blown, yelling and sparks flying explosion. It was quieter, more subdued, and that made it seem all the more dangerous. “You and all those others you just mentioned knew in your bones what you were meant to do.”

  I could see he was gaining momentum, and I didn’t interrupt him, letting him get it all out. “I have no fucking idea what I’m meant to do. Nothing calls to me. Nothing feels right. Don’t you get it? That’s why I fuck around so much. At least it gives me something. A label. An identity.”

  “That’s not your identity,” I said immediately. “You can’t think about yourself that way. You can be whoever you want to be. All you need to do is to decide who that is.”

  He huffed out a frustrated breath, looking at me like he was seeing me clearly for the first time. “Now you’re just trying to manage me. Just like my fucking father. Stop telling me what to do. I’ve already got enough of that in my life.”

  “I’m not trying to manage you,” I said, a little more loudly than I’d intended. “What the hell, Brysen? The only thing I’m trying to do is to help you, but you won’t let me.”

  “You’re damn right I won’t let you,” he spat, suddenly rising to his feet. “You’ve been a fun fuck, Ruby, but that’s all you are to me. Don’t start thinking that you’re my shoulder to cry on or my shrink. I don’t need that shit from someone who’ll spread her legs in a janitor’s closet at a society event.”

  After that mean, insulting barb, he marched off into the night, leaving me crestfallen and confused. How could things have felt like we were on the right track just an hour ago, and now everything was slipping through my fingers?

  Tears welled in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. I was no one’s fun fuck, and I certainly wasn’t going to let him look down on me for what’d happened earlier when he was the one I’d been with.

  Fuck you, Brysen Burke. Just… fuck you.

  Chapter 34

  BRYSEN

  After I’d gotten back from the fundraiser last night, I drank myself into a stupor to numb all the bad shit that’d been tumbling through my head. As a result, I was incredibly fucking hung over and not in the mood for company at all.

  When someone banged on my dorm room door, the only appropriate response I had in me was to groan and chuck a pillow in its direction. “Fuck off! I’m not here.”

  I flopped over on my bed, screwing my eyes shut to drown out the single sliver of sunlight coming through the smallest crack in my curtains. Jesus, my mouth tastes bad. Did I chew up a gremlin last night?

  “Brysen?” Emily’s voice filtered through my door. “You need to let me in. Please?”

  A frown mashed my brows together and even though it sent intense pain shooting through my head, I rolled off my bed in the same heartbeat. What’s my sister doing here?

  “I’m coming, Em,” I called, my voice scratchy. “Just give me a minute.”

  I grabbed a pair of sweats—because yes, I did own some even if I hadn’t worn them to physical therapy—from my dresser and pulled them on over my boxers. Brushing my teeth before I got the door would probably have been the kinder idea to Emily, but I was too worried about why she was at my door, on campus, at this time on a Saturday morning.

  When I yanked the door open, she was crying right there in the hall. She seemed smaller than ever with her entire body seemingly collapsed in on itself as she sniffled in a wad of toilet paper she was holding.

  Everything in me stilled at seeing her so distraught. Hangover all but forgotten, I pulled her right into my arms to shield her from the stares of the other students out there, then I brought her with me into my room and kicked
the door shut behind us.

  “What happened? Are you hurt?” I asked urgently, letting go of her so I could take a step back to see if I could spot any injuries. “Em? Speak to me. What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you.”

  She finally lifted her teary gaze to mine, looking miserable as she held up the ruined ball of toilet paper. “Can I throw this away somewhere? Stop looking at me like that. My injuries aren’t physical. I need some Kleenex. Have you got any?”

  “Kleenex?” I repeated stupidly, then shook my head. “No. I can get you more toilet paper, though.”

  She sighed, but nodded. “I’ll take it.”

  Walking over to my couch while I headed to the bathroom, she sank down and started crying all over again. I took one look at the roll I’d been unwinding, then decided to take the whole thing to her.

  “Your room is a disaster,” she said between sobs when I went back to her. “I’m pretty sure this is the only clean place to sit.”

  For the first time this morning, I took a good look around the space. She wasn’t wrong. It did look like a disaster area. There were clothes everywhere that I’d left lying around during the week. Empty takeout containers, beer bottles, and last night’s whiskey bottle littered every surface. My desk was piled high with books, papers, and notes I’d never even looked at. I just kept dumping them there as I got back from class.

  “Sorry,” I murmured finally. “If I’d known you were coming, I would’ve cleaned up a little.”

  She gave me a sardonic smile between her tears. “No, you wouldn’t have. It’s okay, though. I didn’t come here to do a health inspection.”

  My gaze never quite left her as I cracked a window to let in some fresh air, then went back to the couch to take a seat beside her. “Which brings us to the big question. What are you doing here? What happened? It’s great to see you, obviously, but it’s not so great to see you like this.”

  “I didn’t know where else to go,” she said, and the sadness in her eyes when they collided with mine nearly bowled me over. “I’m sorry to barge in on you like this. It doesn’t look like your night ended on a happy note after we left either.”

  “I’m a single, freshman guy in a college dorm I don’t have to share. This is what it always looks like.” I shrugged before fixing her with a look. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re really here, Em?”

  She lowered her gaze again, reaching for toilet paper and tearing off a long strand of it as another sob rolled through her. She didn’t even bother to wipe the tears away, only blowing her nose before she started telling me her story between sobs and shaky breaths.

  “Things got dicey on the drive home from the fundraiser last night,” she said. “You have to understand that I was only trying to stand up for you, but then Mom and Dad got so angry. They wouldn’t listen to reason and that made me angry, too.”

  I scooted closer to her to drape my arm over her shoulders and rub soothing circles on her back while she spoke. It wasn’t only for her benefit, though. Having her this close by gave me something to anchor myself to when the urge to punch something—or go punch Tommy—struck.

  “Before I even realized what I was doing, I asked them if they would cut me off from my trust and abandon me if they were to find out I was a lesbian.”

  My heart started pounding. I didn’t know what to say, but I couldn’t believe she’d told them. After waiting it out when she blew her nose again, I stroked her back and dipped my head until she brought her eyes back to mine.

  “How did they take it?” I asked softly. “Since you’re here, bawling your eyes out, I’m assuming it didn’t go so well?”

  She cried harder as her chin lowered in a curt nod. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

  As scared as I’d been about her theoretically getting shipped off to boarding school once she told them, I didn’t think it’d really come to them being on the outs with her because of this. I didn’t think they’d really hurt her like this, but I should’ve fucking known better.

  I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her to my chest, murmuring to her in the gentlest tone I could muster when all I really wanted to do was to raze my parents’ world to the ground. Emily didn’t cry often. She might have been Tommy’s golden girl, but she was still a Burke. She’d been raised to maintain her composure.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her hurting so bad that she sobbed like this, and it made me furious. “It’s okay, Em. It’ll be okay. I’ve got you. We’ll always have each other.”

  Repeating the phrase over and over again until she stopped trembling, I kissed the top of her head and held her just like I used to when she was a little girl. With our parents hardly ever having been at home with us, I was the one she’d come to for comfort when she skinned her knees. I was the one who’d stuck the band-aids on and sang her to sleep at night if she woke up from a nightmare.

  “We don’t need Mom and Dad,” I whispered as I cradled her head against my chest and rocked gently back and forth. “We’ve never needed them. As long as we have each other, we’ll be okay.”

  “They hate me,” she whimpered as she pulled away slightly to look up at me. “Dad said he would never accept this.”

  “Hey.” I slid my finger under her chin when she went to burrow back into my chest. Her eyes were so red and watery that they looked sore, but she kept them on mine. “Who taught you to ride a bike?”

  “You did.” Her brow pinched with confusion. “Why?”

  “Who taught you how to tie your shoes? How to stand up for yourself? How to drive?”

  Her frown deepened and her voice was small when she replied. “You did, but why are you asking all of this?”

  “Because it’s always been you and me, kiddo,” I murmured. “I’ve been stepping in for Dad since you were born. Teaching you stuff he should’ve made the time to teach you. Fuck him. All they’ve done is hold us back by trying to force labels on us that didn’t fit. Maybe he’ll learn to accept you for who you are or maybe he won’t, but I love you, and there is no one and nothing in this world I’ll protect as fiercely as you.”

  “Your rep will be totally ruined if anyone finds out just how big your heart really is,” she murmured, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips now. “You also taught me how to flirt with girls and how to get into clubs while I’m still underage.”

  A snort came out of me when I tried to hold back my laughter. “Fine, so there was some unsavory stuff in Life Lessons with Brysen too, but I’ve tried to teach you everything I can.”

  “What do we do now?” she asked after pausing for a beat. “We’re all alone.”

  I rested my cheek on top of her hair and shrugged. “Actually, I suddenly feel less alone than ever. Maybe that’s unfair to you, but I can’t help that it’s how I feel.”

  “It’s not unfair,” she mumbled against my chest when she settled back into me. “What’s unfair is what they’re doing to us, and it’s all for what? Money? Appearances? The power to try to rule our lives just because they control our bank accounts?”

  “Yeah, you’re right. It’s ridiculous.” In my drunken state last night, I’d thought a lot about my father’s threats. I’d also thought about what Ruby had said.

  While I knew that it was true that I wouldn’t be very much without my family’s name, money, and influence, I didn’t want any of that if they were going to abandon my baby sister. It’d feel like blood money. Dirty money.

  Tommy being not only willing to but actually going ahead with cutting her off just because of who she loved was the last straw for me. I didn’t want anything to do with them from here on out. I didn’t want to be associated with them by accepting their money or the benefits of their reputation.

  As all these thoughts swirled around my head, a rush of clarity slammed into me. I was so stunned by how obvious the answer was that I burst out laughing.

  Emily blinked away her tears and frowned up at me again. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “Nothing, sis,” I
said. “For the first time in a long time, there’s nothing wrong. Or at least, there won’t be anything wrong with me soon. Very soon. I’ve got some stuff to take care of. Do you mind hanging out here for a while?”

  “I didn’t get much sleep,” she replied, though her green gaze was still filled with confusion. “Mind if I crash in your bed while you’re out?”

  “Make yourself at home.” I let go of her and stood up, stretching before going over to my dresser to pull out one of my last clean pairs of jeans and a shirt. “I’m going to grab a shower, then I’ll be out of your hair. I’ll come clean up when I get back, so don’t you dare touch anything. Just sleep or watch movies or whatever, okay?”

  She studied my features before nodding. “Sure. You cleaning up is something I’d like to see too much to interfere with that plan. Whatever it is you’re about to go do, good luck, Bry. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  I hoped so too, but there was this sense of purpose solidifying deep inside of me that told me I was finally on the right track. It felt pretty damn good and I had a feeling that the further I went down the path I was slowly starting to see, the more intensely I’d start to feel driven and determined to fulfill that purpose.

  If this is what Ruby feels all the time, it’s no wonder she’s always studying and that she’s willing to work so hard for what she wants. Because I’d never felt anything like this, and only a few minutes in, I already knew this feeling was going to change my life forever.

  Chapter 35

  RUBY

  By ten AM on a Saturday morning, I was usually out of bed and either studying or working on a research paper. I should’ve already gone for my run, reviewed my class notes from last week, and been knee-deep in preparation for next week.

  Instead of being out there and being productive this morning, however, I was wallowing in misery and unable to get out of bed. It was terrible. I honestly didn’t know how some people were perfectly content spending an entire weekend in bed. Every time I thought about all the time I was wasting, I felt so guilty that my throat threatened to close up.