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  Carter groaned when the pulsing in his cock didn’t stop. It’d been a long time since he’d had sex, but no sex had ever been like this.

  He came so goddamn hard he swore a blood vessel burst in his brain. He came so goddamn hard he swore he actually came twice. He collapsed on her. Not lightly either.

  Macie sighed.

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  Neither one made an attempt to move and break their connection.

  Thunder cracked outside the trailer and Macie didn’t freeze up.

  He smiled against her temple. Looks like he had figured out a cure for her fear of thunderstorms after all.

  Carter pushed up on his elbows to kiss her. He couldn’t get enough of the feel of her mouth welcoming his. He flustered her with the lazy, sweet kiss. He whispered,

  “Amazin’ Macie. I had no idea how true that was.”

  “Carter. You’re squishing me.”

  “I ain’t exactly a featherweight and you are a little slip of a thing.” He pulled out and rolled to his side. He reached for a box of tissues and got rid of the condom. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, but that’s sort of a lie because it did lead to you endin’ up tangled in my sheets. I’m damn glad you’re in my bed.”

  Macie smiled. “Mud and all?”

  “Mud and all.”

  “No regrets?”

  “Just that I hurt your feelings.”

  “You made up for it with hot sex.”

  “Mmm, really?”

  “But with you I’d even take lukewarm sex.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Shoot. I’d settle for cool sex. Yeah. Lots of cool, kinky sex.”

  “You know that’s not what I meant, Macie.”

  “So this isn’t just about sex?”

  Not on your life, kitten. Carter flopped back on a pillow and strove to keep things light. “Fine. It ain’t all about sex. If you insist, I’ll let you cook and clean for me. All summer. Whenever the urge strikes you.”

  “I’ll strike you, you jackass.” She pounced on him and held a pillow over his face.

  He tore the pillow away and kissed her until she couldn’t breathe.

  “No fair,” she panted. “Your kisses distract me.”

  “All’s fair, since just lookin’ at you distracts me, my sweet darlin’.” He dragged his fingers up and down her spine and she practically purred. “Stay with me tonight, Macie.”

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  “I can’t.”

  Or won’t? Disappointed, he said, “Okay.”

  “I’m not cooking for you either. However, I will let you wash my back in the shower.” She yawned. “Later. When I’m not so tired.”

  “Deal. Anything else?”

  “No.”

  After a minute he said, “Hey. The rain stopped.”

  “Ssh. Stop yapping. I’m trying to sleep so I can get to those wickedly explicit dreams.”

  “What kind of dreams? Am I in them?”

  “Sort of.”

  “Sort of? What the hell does that mean?”

  “Well, you’re one of the sexy cowboys in my dreams.”

  “One of? As in plural?”

  “Yep.”

  Block it out. Ah hell. He couldn’t. “I don’t suppose in your wicked dreams you and these sexy cowboys are just sittin’ around playin’ pinochle?”

  “I don’t suppose we are.”

  Carter paused and twirled a section of her hair around his index finger. “Sometime will you tell me what you are doin’ with these cowboys in your dreams?”

  “I’d rather show you. But we’d need a third player in our game…of pinochle. I don’t suppose you’ve got a hot guy friend who’s up for a rodeo?”

  Hell yeah, his buddy Jack would totally be up for that. “Lord, you’re killin’ me, woman, teasin’ me ’bout your fantasies. You are gonna share those details, right?”

  “Yes. But I’m too tired to do the fantasy justice right now. Maybe we can act out some of the…more challenging parts later. I vaguely remember a scene with ropes.”

  An image of a sexy, saucy Macie naked, at his mercy, blindfolded, tied up spread-eagled on his bed, every red-gold inch exposed and bound for his pleasure alone…yeah, his dick stirred with interest.

  “I’ll remind you as a ranch kid I’m wicked good with ropes.” He squeezed her ass.

  “You already know I’m good with my hands.”

  “Thinking about your talented hands isn’t lulling me to sleep, Carter.”

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  “That’s what I’m countin’ on.”

  Macie tried to scoot away from him.

  He laughed and nestled her against his body again. “I’ll behave. For now. Sweet dreams, sweet darlin’.”

  After a while she murmured, “I feel like I’m forgetting something important I’m supposed to be doing.”

  You are doing it, Carter thought. Rather than answer her, he kissed the top of her head and drifted away.

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  Chapter Fifteen

  Cash sipped his beer and stared out across the field beyond the barn. The rain had quit a few hours ago. The gloomy gray clouds cleared and the pink rays of the setting sun reflected on the tan grasses as a golden orange. It would’ve been a perfect evening for a horseback ride.

  Except Macie hadn’t shown up.

  Was it intentional on her part? He’d disappointed her so many times that she’d decided to give him a taste of his own medicine? It was no less than what he deserved.

  Yet, it seemed out of character for her. Macie had always been forthright even when she was a little girl. If she’d changed her mind, she would’ve come right out and told him.

  Would it feel worse if she’d just plain forgotten about their plans? No. The worst thing would be if Macie had blown him off because she’d gotten a better offer.

  From that damn Carter McKay.

  He’d felt so guilty last night after he and Gemma hit the road, when he realized not only had he left Macie alone in a strange place, he hadn’t even asked her if she’d wanted to ride along with them to Beulah. Then, when he’d heard about the nasty storms rolling across Wyoming, it’d made him stir-crazy not being able to reach her, especially after calling her for hours.

  So he had to sit in a motel room twiddling his thumbs, wondering if his daughter was all right, letting that goddamn guilt gnaw through him. Keeping Gemma at arm’s length so she wouldn’t see how badly he’d fucked up again.

  It should’ve pleased him to learn that Carter McKay had the wherewithal to check on Macie. Instead, it burned his ass. Oh, not because he’d found Carter in his daughter’s bed early this morning, but because he should’ve been there for her, her father, not some heart breakin’ wild goddamn cowboy.

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  Yeah. He was some great man. He could drown in the sea of regret of all the things he hadn’t done for his daughter. Hell, he’d been trying, bobbing along, swimming, mostly sinking, in that cesspool of remorse for a dozen years. He’d spent a few years shame-faced and shit-faced. Compacting his bad behavior with bad decisions. He’d spent a few more years wallowing in sex with any woman who’d crossed his path. All the while he cursed his bad luck and Macie’s mother. Blaming everyone but himself for his lack of parenting skills.

  He’d finally wised up.

  Cash supposed it’d make a more interesting story if he credited the change in himself to a vision, or because he’d received ancient wise words from a Lakota holy man. But the truth was, when Macie turned sixteen—the same age he was when he’d fathered her, the same age his father had been when he’d fathered him—he realized not only wasn’t he ready to be a grandfather, he’d never learned how to be a father.

  That was just
plain fucking sad. At that point, Cash knew he had to change and be the one to break the ugly cycle.

  Luckily, Macie had her head screwed on straight, no thanks to him. She was a bright, kind, sweet, funny, beautiful young woman.

  A young woman. He couldn’t help but think of her as a child. Cash took another swallow of beer. Was it because he hadn’t been around during her childhood and he’d always see her as kid? Or did all parents see their offspring that way? Macie was mature and wise in so many ways…yet in others…she seemed so damn young.

  So were you.

  At her age, he’d had a six-year-old child, not a six-year-old car. The autumn Cash turned twenty-two, he’d won his first championship gold buckle and his first big payout.

  That same fall, Macie would’ve entered first grade. He didn’t even know the name of her elementary school. Or where she’d lived. A brief memory of her sweet face and big brown eyes flashed in his mind. Had she cried and gripped her mother’s hand? Did she think of him and wonder for the millionth time why her daddy wasn’t around?

  God. How did he ask Macie any of this shit without sounding like a dolt? Without reminding her of all he’d never been to her?

  Would they ever figure out this father/daughter relationship? When it appeared they’d both find excuses to let it remain the same fucked up way it’d been for years?

  “Cash?”

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  He jumped at the sound of Gemma’s voice behind him.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

  “You’re not. It’s okay. Just sittin’ here thinkin’.”

  Gemma scooted next to him on the cement step. “Macie’s not back yet?”

  “Nope.”

  “Maybe she got called in to work.”

  “Be a little hard for Velma to reach her when Macie’s cell phone is dead and in the camper.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah. I checked.” He set aside the empty bottle and sighed. “Go ahead and remind me she’s an adult.”

  Gemma didn’t say a word.

  The sweet, low tones of mourning doves rose and fell in the early twilight. A bull roared in the north pasture. The humid air seemed to amplify the normal sounds and every breath he sucked into his lungs was heavy. Oppressive.

  Cash took off his cowboy hat and hung it on the metal railing so he could rub the knot at the base of his skull.

  “You okay?”

  “Just a headache.”

  “Probably from tension. Want me to rub your neck?”

  He glanced at her. “You wouldn’t mind?”

  “No. I like touching you, Cash. It doesn’t always have to lead to the bedroom.”

  Gemma’s sweetness soothed him somewhat.

  “Come on. Scoot down on the next step and lean back.” Once she’d settled him between her thighs, she asked, “Can I unbraid your hair?”

  “Sure. Why?”

  “I could claim a too-tight braid as the source of your headache, but the truth is, I’ve been dying to get it loose so I can run my hands through it. Been afraid to ask you if I could.”

  Cash looked at her over his shoulder. “Why? Do I scare you?”

  “Sometimes.”

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  “Is this about what happened in the barn?”

  Her cheeks flushed and she dropped her gaze. “No.”

  “That wasn’t a real convincin’ no, Gem.”

  “Fine. I like everything you do to me. But that’s why…oh, never mind.”

  “No. Tell me.”

  “I want equal time to do things to you.”

  That was all? He relaxed. “Okay. I’m listenin’.”

  “So far this relationship has been pretty one-sided.”

  “You think?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s been two days, Gemma.”

  “Oh. Seems longer, doesn’t it?”

  Cash didn’t know how to take that comment so he let it go.

  Gemma loosened his hair and massaged his scalp, derailing his train of thought. He groaned with appreciation at her magic touch.

  She dug her thumbs into the base of his neck.

  “God that feels good.”

  “There are other things I can do to you that will feel this good. Or better.”

  His cock perked up. “Like?”

  “Like, I don’t wanna give you a play-by-play, Cash. I’m more of a doer than a talker.”

  “That a fact?”

  “Yep.”

  “I gotta remind you of a fact, sweets. You agreed to let me be in charge when it comes to sex.”

  “I didn’t think that meant all the time.”

  “It did.”

  Her fingers quit kneading.

  “What?”

  “Nothin’.”

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  Cash faced her. “If you ain’t enjoyin’ bein’ with me, just say so.”

  “See? That’s not what this is about. You’re just like Steve, taking everything so personal to the point we can’t talk about it.”

  They stared at each other. It was the first time she’d brought up her husband’s name in front of him. It didn’t feel as awkward as he imagined it would. Maybe it was a good reminder to him that they both had a past.

  “Maybe you oughta explain that comment.”

  A gust of wind caught Cash’s unbound hair and it lashed Gemma in the face. Before he could yank it back into a ponytail, she grabbed a handful and pulled him close. “Let me take the lead once in awhile. That don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, it just lets me be on the giving end. Much as I like being on the receiving end, sometimes I just need to know you don’t mind when I’m aggressive and I don’t want to wait for you to take charge.”

  Cash watched her eyes. She had no idea how much her confession meant to him. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d warned her of his savage appetites, or of his secret taste for a little kink. So, not only hadn’t he scared her off, she was letting him know she might even go him one better.

  He whispered, “Show me.”

  Gemma slammed her lips to his. After ravaging his mouth, she jerked his head back by the hair and sank her teeth into the skin above his collarbone.

  And sucked like a vampire. He knew she’d left a mark and he didn’t give a damn.

  Her show of force made his dick hard even when it softened his heart.

  She licked the stinging spot. “I like to bite.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind when my cock is near those sharp teeth.”

  Gemma laughed softly. “Let me finish your neck rub. No teeth, I promise.”

  Cash relaxed into her once again.

  “Tell me about Macie’s mom. And how Macie came to be.” When he stiffened, she chided, “You had to expect I’d ask sometime.”

  “Yeah, well, you’d think I’d be used to it by now.”

  He wished he had another beer. “Macie’s mom, Jorgen Honeycutt, came to Pine Ridge on some kind of mission trip one summer. She embodied a gypsy, which appealed to a kid like me, bein’s I was stuck on the rez. Probably for the rest of my life.”

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  “How old were you?”

  “Sixteen. I lied and told her I was eighteen. When she mentioned she’d just graduated, I figured her to be twenty-two. Later, I found out she’d meant from grad school, which made her twenty-six.

  “I ain’t gonna lie. Jorgen was blonde, beautiful, rich, sexy and I talked my way into her bed.”

  “I’ll bet in your teens you were one of those cocky, slow-eyed, good-lookin’ Indian cowboys, weren’t you?”

  “Yeah. Me and Jorgen had nothin’ in common. She wanted to be with a ‘real’ Indian cowboy. We screwed around that summer and I knocked her up. Wasn’t a doubt the kid was mine as we wer
e together all the time. She wouldn’t consider an abortion.” Cash still winced when he thought about how hard he’d argued for that option.

  Gemma kissed the top of his head. “Sucks that sometimes those things from the past can still hurt us even when we didn’t make that choice.”

  Soothed by her again, he continued. “Jorgen had some family money, and wanderin’

  feet so she took off. Called me six months later to tell me I was a father. I didn’t see Macie for the first time until she was two.

  “I was such a bastard, Gem. I didn’t care. Thought I’d skated by easy ’cause I didn’t have to pay child support. Jorgen would call me, drunk usually, and tell me about my child. I dreaded those damn phone calls.

  “I wasn’t interested in bein’ a father until my friends started havin’ kids. I suppose Macie was about eight when I began to see her once a year. We had fun together, but it wasn’t any kind of relationship. Mostly because Jorgen made sure she had all the control.

  She’d decide when I could talk to Macie. Or see her. They moved all over the damn place so I had no choice. I never knew where they were, which drove me nuts.”

  “Doesn’t sound like your lack of a relationship with your daughter is entirely your fault, Cash.”

  “Maybe not. I don’t remember how it happened, but the year Macie turned twelve she called me. We talked for hours. I realized I wanted to get to know my child so I asked Jorgen if Macie could spend the summer with me on the rez.”

  Gemma gently worked his left shoulder muscle in silence.

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  “Jorgen refused. I was travelin’ the rodeo circuit so it was easier for me to get to wherever Macie was. I went hundreds of miles out of my way to see my girl whenever I could.”

  Cash took a break, not sure if he was doing the right thing telling Gemma all this nasty shit about himself.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “I guess.”

  “Is Macie like her mother?”

  “In some ways.”

  “Like?”

  “Like I suspect she’s got itchy feet. Macie doesn’t seem inclined to put down roots anywhere.”

  “Maybe she gets that from you. You’ve traveled around plenty yourself, Cash.”