Sunshine Through the Rain

by Gilly Stewart

  ‘We don’t need pictures to remember,’ said Angus.

  Lucy had been about to nod, but now she fell silent, hiding her face against Ellen’s shoulder.

  ‘Of course you don’t,’ said Ellen. ‘It’s up to you. But I thought it might be nice, somehow …’

  ‘I think we should have that one,’ said Callum pointing to the one of his parents together. It might be slightly blurred and off-centre, but it caught the moment well. Callum’s voice wavered, but he spoke loudly. ‘I think it would be good to put that up in here.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Lucy.

  Angus shrugged.

  ‘I’ll get some enlargements made and we’ll see,’ said Ellen.

  She shuffled the pictures together and sat upright. That was enough emotion. ‘Now, I hate to nag but there are still some chores to be done. No one’s collected eggs today and Monty needs feeding and …’

  The children seemed as thankful as she was to have tasks to distract them. They drifted out. Ellen left the photographs on the table in case they wanted to look at them in private later.

  Then she went to pick up the post which she had heard arriving a short while before. And there was the letter she had been awaiting and dreading, the one summoning her and Angus to the Children’s Hearing. There was a similar letter addressed directly to Angus. She put it to one side until tomorrow. He didn’t have to cope with everything all at once, even if it sometimes felt like she did.

  Kit had to do something. Ellen was point-blank refusing his help, but that didn’t mean he should just give up.

  His mum was in the cottage hospital and plans were in hand for her to move to Westerwood House. She was making good progress. With the input of the physios and the speech therapist she was now able to sit up and feed herself, even hold short conversations. And she actually seemed happy! She explained, slowly, that it would be nice not to have to worry about the house, about being on her own. He should have realised that living on her own was too difficult for her.

  ‘I should have moved back home …’

  ‘No, why would you do that? You’re a good boy, Kit, but …’ A pause. ‘But it’ll be nice to be with people my own age. Westerwood House is nice. You did like it, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes, Mum, I’ve said already.’

  He shook his head in bewilderment. His mum’s speech might be slow, and she might be a little confused at times, but one thing was clear. She was looking forward to this move.

  And now he had to do something for Ellen. He decided to get in touch with Social Services. They obviously had no idea what a brilliant job she was doing under incredibly difficult circumstances. Ellen might not like it, but if he didn’t tell them, who would?

  His months of dealing with the bureaucracy of the planning department stood him in good stead now. He phoned ahead and after numerous diversions eventually secured the name of the social worker allotted to Angus’s case (Kathleen Mitchell) and obtained an appointment to see her. He put on his best pair of corduroy trousers and a clean shirt and set off in plenty of time.

  Kathleen Mitchell was a plump, untidy woman who ushered him into a tiny meeting room amidst chatter about the weather and apologies for keeping him waiting. She seemed rather pleasant, which was off-putting. Kit had been all ready to face down an ogre.

  ‘What was it you wanted to see me about?’ She sat at right-angles to him, with a small round table at her elbow, pad and pen laid at the ready.

  ‘Angus Moffat.’

  ‘Ah, yes.’

  ‘I’m a neighbour of the Moffats. The nearest neighbour, as it happens.’

  ‘I see. Mr Ballantyne, isn’t it?’

  ‘That’s right. Christopher Ballantyne. I work at the veterinary practice in Dunmuir. I bought a plot of land off the Moffats just over a year ago now, and I had got to know them quite well before the – the accident.’

  Still the woman waited, smiling pleasantly. Kit urged himself to get to the point.

  ‘I have also got to know Ellen Taylor very well in the months since she moved down to Craigallan.’

  ‘Ah, yes. Are you the neighbour she asks to help out with the children?’

  ‘Ellen rarely asks anyone to help out with anything. She is very hard-working and takes far too much on herself. Before most of the farm animals were sold I helped a little with them but I don’t think she has needed assistance with her nephews and niece. You know that she gave up a good job and her own life in Edinburgh to come down and look after them, which she currently does full-time?’

  ‘Yes, I know she hadn’t had much to do with children before this happened.’

  ‘I don’t think most parents have had much to do with children until they become parents, have they? This was just a bit more extreme a situation. And Ellen, Miss Taylor, has coped with it admirably.’

  Kit was getting into the swing of things now. ‘I don’t think you realise how hard a time she has had, how much she has done. Those kids were absolutely devastated to lose their parents, you can imagine, and she has stuck by them through thick and thin. Angus isn’t the easiest of people but Ellen has tried and tried to get through to him, to make things right.’

  ‘Angus has been a bit of a problem, has he?’

  ‘Angus is a thirteen-year-old boy who has recently lost both his parents and has had one or two difficulties at school. You wouldn’t expect things to be easy there, would you? But he’s basically a good kid.’

  ‘I see. Do you think that getting into a series of fights, as this youngster seems to have done, is the behaviour of a good kid?’

  ‘It wasn’t his fault, for goodness sake.’

  ‘I realise that the adults with responsibility for him have a role to play …’

  Kit could feel his voice rising. ‘So you really are trying to blame Ellen? I knew you’d try to twist things like that. Don’t you realise that sometimes it’s just the circumstances that make things happen in a certain way? Ellen has done everything she possibly can for that boy, why don’t you look at the school and see if you can say the same for them?’

  ‘And would you say Miss Taylor takes the same amount of interest in the younger children?’

  ‘Yes!’ This woman seemed determined to twist his words. ‘Yes I bloody would. She’s been an absolute marvel. You’ve only got to see Lucy with her to see how good their relationship is.’

  ‘And there’s another boy, isn’t there? Callum?’

  ‘Callum’s fine too. It’s not that Ellen doesn’t worry about him, she does, she worries because basically he is so much easier than Angus. She does her best for all of them. They’re always going to football and swimming and all that stuff, and she makes sure they have a good diet, and everything. For goodness sake, aren’t there any kids with serious problems you should be worrying about?’

  ‘Just because children come from a middle-class background doesn’t mean to say there can’t be problems at home.’

  Suddenly the cool tone struck Kit as ominous. ‘You’re not going to take the kids away from her, are you? You couldn’t do that?’

  ‘I’m not at liberty to discuss the situation with you. I’m grateful to you for taking the time to come in and talk to me. I appreciate the effort you have clearly made to help the family.’

  ‘They don’t need my help. That’s what I’m saying. They’re managing absolutely fine.’

  ‘As I said, I do appreciate your taking the time to come in.’

  Kit stared at her. Had he made things worse?

  ‘Do call me Kathleen,’ said the Social Worker to Angus for the third time. Why should he call her Kathleen? He didn’t want to call her anything. He didn’t even want to talk to her.

  ‘Why d’you have to see me at school?’ he asked. It was the first week back and he’d been embarrassed to be called out of Geography like that.

  She smiled kindly. ‘This was the time I happened to have free, and your headmaster was good enough to allow me to see you here.’

  ‘Does Ellen know?’
<
br />   Kathleen cleared her throat, a good sign that she was trying for time to think. ‘Your aunt knows that I was planning to have a follow-up chat with you sometime soon. We didn’t discuss any details.’

  ‘She’s my guardian, isn’t she? Shouldn’t she be here?’

  ‘Your guardian doesn’t need to be present at every interview. Sometimes it can help you to relax if there are fewer people around.’

  ‘I won’t tell you anything I haven’t told Ellen.’

  ‘No, no, of course I’m not asking you to do that.’ The woman sighed and pushed strands of hair back from a face that was beginning to look red and uncomfortable. Good. Angus didn’t think it was his job to put her at ease.

  ‘Are you going to tell the rector everything I say? And the police?’ It felt good to be bolshie again. He had spent the last few weeks feeling so remorseful he hadn’t been able to get things in perspective. Now he’d had time to think, and Simon Scott had told him that git Sean was just putting it on. That made him feel a whole lot better. He wasn’t angry with his aunt any more, he didn’t know why, but he still had plenty of resentment for the school and the whole stupid system he was caught up in.

  ‘Whatever you tell me will be entirely confidential,’ said Kathleen, looking hopeful.

  ‘I didn’t do anything,’ said Angus. ‘Much.’

  ‘I’m sure you didn’t, but if we could just go over the series of events again …?’

  ‘I didn’t start it. They started it. They surrounded me and started pushing me about. I’m the victim here, you know.’ Even as he said the words Angus felt an insane desire to laugh. He could just imagine Jason Armstrong coming out with those exact words. I’m the victim, life’s not fair, it’s not my fault … This thought made him change tack. ‘Actually, I was being a bit … stupid. I shouldn’t have been carrying the knife. I knew it at the time but it made me feel safer, you know?’ He paused. ‘Will I go to prison?’

  ‘Of course not. You’re far too young to go to prison.’

  Angus sighed. Grown-ups were so stupid sometimes. ‘You know what I mean. To a Young Offenders place or whatever they call it. I want to know if that’s possible. It’ll be hard on my aunt if I do. And the kids.’ He was sorry they had been dragged in to all of this. Lucy was really upset. Angus wondered if he should have listened to his aunt and moved to a school in Dumfries.

  ‘That will depend on what happens at the Children’s Hearing. I wanted to fill you in a little more about the hearings.’

  Angus shrugged.

  ‘This is a unique system of care and justice for Scotland’s children,’ said Kathleen. She looked more relaxed now, spouting jargon. Angus let the words go over his head. Why should he want to know about the stupid child-centred justice system? He just wanted it to be over.

  ‘Why does it take so long?’ he interrupted. ‘It’s really upsetting my brother and sister.’

  Kathleen had opened her mouth to continue with her boring explanation. Now she closed it and frowned.

  ‘The system in Scotland prides itself on dealing with these kind of matters quickly.’

  ‘Yeah, well, it’s still been weeks.’ Angus hoped she couldn’t hear the catch in his voice. ‘Look, I know I’m in the wrong. Can’t I just admit it and they can decide what to do?’

  ‘I’m very glad that you see the error of your ways,’ she said.

  ‘But I’m not the only one in the wrong, you know.’ His aunt had been very keen to make sure he knew she knew that, and he was grateful. ‘And I bet Jason and the rest aren’t sorry. Not really sorry. Not so as it would stop them doing the same thing again.’

  ‘Are you worried they might try to find you and cause trouble?’ Kathleen picked up her pencil.

  ‘No way. They’ll leave me alone now. But I’m not the only one they bully, you know. If they get away with this then they’ll be even worse the next time. Have you thought of that?’

  ‘I’m sure that is being looked in to. I’m not the social worker allocated to their case, and even if I was I couldn’t divulge to you anything that had been discussed.’

  ‘Huh,’ said Angus. ‘That’s a lot of help.’ The woman coloured with annoyance, but he knew she wouldn’t do anything to him. She was too keen for him to think she was on ‘his’ side. As if.

  ‘Sean Mackay’s dad’s in prison at the moment, you know, for assault. And his brother’s just come out after doing time for drugs.’ Angus had learnt this from Simon, who was an excellent source of information. ‘Doesn’t that give you some idea of what he’s like?’

  ‘We shouldn’t judge a child by their parents.’

  ‘No.’ Angus glared at her. ‘Well, you can’t judge me by mine, ’cos I haven’t got any any more.’ He knew that would make her feel uncomfortable and it did. She brought the interview to a close soon after.

  He felt rather pleased with himself. He’d got her measure all right. He’d tell Ellen about it when he got home, and maybe help her start painting some of the downstairs rooms. Now they didn’t have so many animals he had more free time, and it wasn’t fair to expect Ellen to do everything in the house. He’d have to make sure the kids pulled their weight as well.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Ellen was worried sick about the Children’s Panel hearing. The solicitor had tried to be comforting, the social worker had dripped sympathy while being noncommittal, and Angus, surprisingly, seemed to be taking it in his stride. But she felt an immense weight of guilt that she had let him get in to this situation. It was she who had insisted he go back for those lessons with Grant, when he had clearly been intimidated away. She had been cross with him, had made him go into town on his own. Why hadn’t she seen his side? She could feel panic rising. What if this ruined the rest of his life?

  Her mother had offered to come down and accompany them to the hearing, but she had declined. That would just give her one more person to worry about.

  Callum and Lucy went off (unwillingly) to school as normal and she made arrangements for them to go to Clare’s afterwards, as she had no idea how long the hearing might take. No one could say she wasn’t being responsible. She put on one of her dark work suits, which felt oddly uncomfortable after so long in casual clothes.

  Angus, she discovered at the last moment, had no trousers other than his school ones or jeans. She didn’t know what would look worse, the unnatural smartness of school clothes, or the I-don’t-care attitude that might be portrayed by jeans. Why hadn’t she thought of this before?

  ‘Look, these jeans will have to do, I’ve ironed them,’ she said, waving the offending garment at her nephew who looked horrified to see his favourite trousers now sporting a neatly ironed crease. ‘Wear them with that shirt Grandma got for your birthday, that’ll have to do.’

  He looked ready to argue, but a knock on the door sent him retreating upstairs. Who could it be now?

  Kit was standing on the doorstep, looking ill at ease.

  ‘Yes?’ said Ellen. She didn’t have time to be polite.

  ‘I, er, heard you were off to the Children’s Panel this morning.’

  ‘Yes. We’ll be leaving in a few minutes.’ Pointedly, she didn’t invite him in. She didn’t know what had gone wrong between them. He might have his own problems but she didn’t have the energy for them just now.

  ‘I wanted to wish Angus all the best.’

  ‘That’s kind. I’ll tell him. He’s upstairs getting changed.’

  ‘Ah.’ Kit looked relieved. ‘Could I come in for a minute?’

  Ellen sighed. He knew she was in a hurry. Hopefully whatever he had to say wouldn’t take long. She let him in, but didn’t take a seat, just in case he hadn’t got the message that time was short.

  ‘How do you think it’ll go?’ asked Kit.

  ‘I’ve no idea.’ When that sounded a little too abrupt she added, ‘The solicitor sounded fairly positive, but really, I don’t know what to expect.’

  ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine. There was one thing I wanted to mentio
n. I’ve explained to the social worker how well you’re doing.’

  Ellen frowned. ‘What social worker?’

  Now Kit looked decidedly shifty. ‘Er. Well. I got in touch with Social Services myself. I, er, wanted to do my best, to let them know that none of this is Angus’s fault.’

  ‘You what?’ Ellen could feel her stomach tense, her throat tighten. She had been so near the edge of panic it only took one more thing to push her over. ‘This is none of your business!’

  ‘No, of course it’s not. But I thought it would be a good idea for someone to put your side of the story …’

  ‘And you think we haven’t?’

  ‘As an outsider, you know. I thought it couldn’t do any harm and it might help. So I made an appointment to see someone in Social Services …’

  Ellen could hear a strange buzzing in her ears. ‘Thank you so much. I’m sure that counted for a lot.’

  ‘I was trying to help. I just wanted you to know, that they have heard this from someone, from me. Don’t let them pretend they’ve only heard bad things. If they have heard bad things. Look, I’m saying this all wrong …’

  Ellen couldn’t believe he had done that. Really, was there no limit to his interference? ‘I haven’t time for this. We have to go.’

  ‘Yes, of course. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.’

  ‘You think I’m not? Now …’

  They were interrupted by the sound of Angus coming down the stairs two at a time. ‘I don’t see why I have to wear …’ He paused when he saw Kit. ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi yourself. I just popped by to wish you all the best.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Angus tugged at his collar and then shot them both an unexpected smile. ‘It’ll be all right, you know. They won’t send me to prison, and nothing else is too bad, is it?’

  Ellen tried to smile back. She didn’t think there was any point in informing Angus of all the other measures that could be taken against him (and her). She had looked into it. They ranged from sending him to secure accommodation, through foster care, parenting orders, something called ‘restorative justice’, and simple, old-fashioned fines. And the worst of it was, she had absolutely no idea which was the most likely outcome.