Thankful for Love

by Peggy Bird

  “How about you start on your breakfast before you plan out the autographs on your cast?” Jack said. “I’ll take out the cereal if you’ll get the milk and juice, Quanna.”

  “Who’s gonna help me pour stuff?” Lucas asked, the pathetic tone reappearing. “I can’t use my right hand.”

  “I’ll help until you get used to using your left hand,” Jack answered.

  And with that, the morning routine kicked in and the atmosphere lightened. For the moment.

  • • •

  Within a week, the new normal for the family was as familiar as the old normal had once been. Lucas seemed to revel in his popularity at school, which had already been high because he was such a congenial kid but was now over the top thanks to his tale of horseback adventure and the resulting blue cast. He also undoubtedly enjoyed the attention he was getting from his father and brother, the latter mostly out of guilt for being the cause of his injury.

  He coerced Quanna into being his homework scribe after school. He solved the problems and did the thinking; she did the writing. He still complained about homework, especially math, even with her help. His “theory” was it was stupid to learn something a computer could do for you. In an attempt to get him to see the usefulness of what he was complaining about, Quanna finally asked one day, “What are you interested in, if not math and science?”

  “The Roman gods and goddesses,” Lucas said. “Or Egyptology. I think I’ll study ancient Egypt when I grow up.”

  “Yeah, because studying dead Egyptians is such a useful thing to do,” his brother, who had finished his homework without complaint, muttered.

  Quanna was afraid the conversation was headed for a rare quarrel so she intervened quickly. “Archaeologists use math and science in their work. If you want to be one, you have to learn the tools they use.”

  “I’ll hire someone to do the math. I’ll do the research.” Lucas dismissed the argument with a wave of his casted hand.

  Sighing, Quanna said, “I give up. Your dad can help with the rest of your math after dinner, which I better get to preparing. Then I should get home and finish the reading for my class.”

  “But we haven’t worked on my essay for Ms. Eagleman yet,” Lucas said. “And the sloppy copy’s due tomorrow.”

  “You can work on it after dinner,” Jack said as he joined them. “We can’t keep Quanna here all evening because you’ve been putting off writing it by complaining about your math homework.”

  “But Quanna’s good at essays, Dad.” He turned his big brown eyes to Quanna and begged. “Please, please, please stay for dinner and help me with my essay. Please.”

  Jack said, “You’re welcome to stay, Quanna. But I don’t want you to think you have to because Lucas is begging.”

  “I don’t want to intrude on family time.” She tried to sound firm in her refusal even though the thought of eating dinner with Jack was more attractive than it should be. To Lucas, she said, “Your dad can help you with the essay, can’t he?”

  “No. It’s about him,” Lucas said. “Can’t you stay this once? Please?”

  “That’s five pleases,” Jack said. “Some kind of record.” His smile was more inviting than any number of pleases.

  “I guess I’m staying then,” Quanna said.

  Sitting at the table with the three Richardson males, catching Jack’s eye when one of the boys said something funny, earning a grin from him when she said something he liked, was both fun and a challenge. On one hand, she loved the attention he was paying her, which felt more personal than professional. On the other, she had to keep her feelings at bay while still engaging as the boys’ “kid wrangler.”

  The other challenge was to keep from getting caught in the warmth of being part of a family, especially this family, with a man she found so attractive and kids she had learned to love. She barely tasted the food she ate trying to keep her conflicting emotions in balance.

  After dinner, Lucas was excused from dish duty while Quanna helped him craft the first draft of his essay. It was a relief to have Jack in the kitchen during this process, as Lucas’s assignment was to write about someone who had been important in his life. As Lucas had said, he’d chosen his dad, which wasn’t great for Quanna’s peace of mind.

  The exercise began with a laundry list of Jack Richardson’s virtues. And as Quanna already knew, he had many, although it was tempting to add a few to Lucas’s list. Not only was he a great dad who looked after his boys with care and love, as Lucas pointed out, but his protective streak extended to women alone in bars. And he was the fantasy hero of half the staff of the Golden Years Retirement Center. But that probably wasn’t an appropriate addition to his son’s essay, although it was pretty high on Quanna’s list of his virtues.

  • • •

  Jack stayed in the kitchen after he and Daniel loaded the dishwasher. He told his son it was to finish wiping up the counters and set up the coffeepot for the morning. It was actually so he could eavesdrop on the conversation in the dining room. He told himself he was curious about what his son was writing about him, but he knew he really wanted to hear what Quanna would say.

  What he heard made the eavesdropping well worth it. Lucas talked about what a great dad he had, and Quanna agreed that he had an “amazing father.” As an additional highlight, Luke made a couple jokes and she laughed, giving Jack the chance to hear the musical sound of her laugh, which he’d grown to like. He listened as she gently prodded Lucas to get ideas from him and to organize them into something resembling an essay. Between his pleasure at what Lucas said and Quanna’s reaction to it, his ego was stroked quite nicely before the hour was up and the draft Lucas needed for the next day was ready to turn in.

  “I’ll let your dad finish up your math with you,” Quanna said. She picked up the textbooks and notebooks she’d piled on the sideboard. “Time for me to get home and do my own homework.”

  She was headed for the front door when Jack interrupted her departure. “Let me walk you out. I want to talk to you.” He noticed she seemed to walk far ahead of him through the living room, perhaps in a hurry to get away.

  He followed her to her car. The sweet smell of the plains mingled with the spicy smell he’d begun to associate with being around her. It was a combination hard to resist.

  When they got to her car, he touched her arm to turn her toward him. “I don’t think I’ve told you how much I appreciate what you’ve done helping Lucas since he broke his arm. Both the boys love having you around. So do I.” He added quickly, “Appreciate having you here, I mean.”

  “I’m glad you’re happy with my work.”

  He noticed she emphasized the words my work. “We’re more than happy. All three of us. You’ve made a big difference in our lives.”

  She seemed nervous, dropping her gaze and jingling her car keys. “Thank you for saying such kind things.”

  “Not kind. The truth.”

  He shifted gears away from a subject that seemed to be embarrassing for her. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t want the boys to get excited before I decide if it’s going to work out, which is why I wanted to do this out here.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Before the boys’ mother was sick, my brother and I used to swap kids every summer. Sam, my brother, wants his boys to have some appreciation for the kind of life we lived growing up. After his boys were here for a couple weeks, I sent Daniel to the city. Luke would be old enough now to go, too.”

  There was an awkward pause as he tried to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. “The thing is, Sam called today and asked if I had thought about reinstating the tradition. It wasn’t possible when Anne was taking care of the boys. She could never handle four of them. Not sure too many people would want to, actually.”

  “But you’d like me to,” she finished for him. “I’d love it.”

  “You’d take on all four of them for two weeks?”

  “If your nephews are anything like your sons, it won’t be a
problem.”

  “Actually, they’re a bit older. Maybe a bit more civilized. And they wouldn’t be with you all day. Usually in the summer, the boys help me all morning and aren’t around the house until after lunch. So, if you’re sure...”

  “I am.”

  “Thank you. I’ll call Sam and tell him it’s a go. Of course your pay will increase the two weeks Sammy and Jack are here.”

  “Your brother named his sons for the two of you?”

  “Yeah, gets a little complicated when we’re all together, but it was an honor. Anyway, I’ll increase your pay for those two weeks and give you vacation with pay the two weeks Lucas and Daniel are gone.”

  “That’s way too generous, Jack. I can’t take two whole weeks off and expect you to pay me.”

  “No, it’s not. You’ll earn it, believe me, with four boys here.”

  “How about I work half time while they’re in Portland?”

  “Two days a week with pay for all five. And I’ll make sure you get overtime pay for tonight, too.”

  “Please, I don’t want to be paid for tonight. I stayed because I wanted to. And staying here for dinner meant I didn’t have to go home and cook.” She put her hand up as if to ward off the money.

  He captured it with both of his. It was a big mistake. He hadn’t counted on his body’s reaction to touching her. Completely inappropriate thoughts crowded his mind. Like what it would be like to touch her cheek or kiss her luscious pink lips. What her body would feel like pressed against his.

  He felt the warmth of the hand he held and wanted to hold it for a good long time. He knew he needed to back off. He couldn’t just drop her hand like a rock, though. So he made a clumsy attempt to turn their connection into a handshake. It didn’t work.

  Quanna tried to untangle their hands but that made it even more awkward, which seemed to embarrass her, if her slight blush was any indication. To cover his inept gesture, he continued the talk of salary. “We can negotiate pay later. Thanks for agreeing to the change in plans for the summer. You’re invaluable around here.”

  “Thanks. Again.” She withdrew her hand and opened her car door.

  He watched her drive away, shaking his head after he was sure she couldn’t see him anymore, wondering how the hell it had gotten so difficult to talk to an employee. A beautiful, smart, sexy, and totally entrancing employee.

  Dear God, he was in over his head.

  Chapter 6

  After the essay-writing evening, at least once a week, one of the boys, usually Lucas, came up with a reason for Quanna to stay for dinner. As time went on, it became almost routine for her to be there once or twice a week. The issue of overtime pay got settled the way she wanted it: she had no intention of being paid for a social evening and a good meal.

  There was no repeat of the hand-holding incident, for which Quanna was grateful. Sort of. She had loved the feel of his hand, loved the look in his eyes when he told her how much she was appreciated. It had become her favorite just-before-sleep thought. One that usually guaranteed lovely dreams. She knew she was embarking on the slipperiest of slopes, fantasizing about Jack, spending free time with the three of them, but she loved being around the three Richardsons so much she was willing to try to keep her balance.

  With the arrival of summer came changes in Quanna’s routine with the boys. First, they were around more every day, and she had to organize something to occupy their time when they weren’t out helping their dad with ranch chores. Once a week, they went someplace the kids had not been to or wanted to visit again—the Tamastslikt Cultural Institute on the reservation, with its exhibits on the history of the American Indians who had lived in the area for centuries, was one. There were picnics, trips to the library, an occasional movie. They built raised beds in the garden and planted vegetables in them. She even started giving the boys cooking lessons.

  Caught up in the busiest time of the year on his ranch, Jack wasn’t around much except first thing in the morning and late in the afternoon, just before she left. Once a week or so, she had dinner with the family, reminding her of how strong the attraction to him was. A reminder she kept pushing out of her mind so she could focus on her job and the importance it had for both her and her family.

  When the end of July arrived, so did Jack’s nephews. Except for the increase in laundry and the huge amounts of food it took to keep four active boys from being hungry, they were easy to deal with. Each morning, they enthusiastically worked with Jack getting ready for harvest, and they often rode horses with their Aunt Barbara and her boys at Barbara’s ranch where there were enough horses for everyone. They didn’t mind mucking out the stables because, as they told Quanna, it made them feel like real cowboys. Even when Jack’s other three nephews were in Quanna’s charge, which happened a couple times during the visit, it was more pleasure than problem.

  The two-week visit seemed to rush by. Before Quanna knew it, she was packing clothes for Daniel and Lucas’s stay in Portland and then hugging all four boys goodbye before they piled into Jack’s truck for a trip to the big city.

  • • •

  “For chrissake, Jack, light someplace, will you? I have a crick in my neck from trying to follow your pacing, and you’re driving Chihuly nuts.”

  Jack dropped into the leather couch opposite the one his brother Sam was occupying. The two men looked so much alike they would have been hard pressed to deny their relationship. Jack had two inches and a few years on his younger sibling, but that was about all that was different.

  Well, except for the expressions currently on their faces. Sam looked relaxed and content with himself. Jack was sure he projected neither quality.

  Before he responded to his brother’s complaint, Jack motioned for Chihuly, the curly-coated retriever Sam had acquired when he married Amanda St. Clair, to sit beside him. “Sorry. I guess I’m restless today.” He scratched a spot between the dog’s ears, hoping to make up for his pacing.

  “No shit, Sherlock. It doesn’t take my finely honed investigative skills to figure that out. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle.” Jack concentrated on the dog’s head, avoiding his brother’s eyes. “I’m not much of a city guy, I guess. I love your house, but I’m happier at the ranch.”

  “I get it, but this is more than wanting to be home in the wide open spaces of Umatilla County.” Sam cocked his head and furrowed his brow. “It can’t be money troubles. The last accountant’s report on the ranch looked healthy. Is there something going on with the wheat crop this year?”

  Jack shook his head, still not looking at his brother.

  “Not money. Not wheat. Haven’t heard of any cattle disease. And your boys are healthy and happy. That leaves woman troubles. You got something you want to talk about?”

  Jack had never hid his personal life from his siblings, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to be totally open with his brother right now. So he just kept scratching the dog’s head and looking down. “Not really.”

  “Jack, I’m a cop. Every damn day of my life, I get lied to or have to put up with people trying to avoid telling me what I want to know. That’s why we’re given this bullshit meter when we graduate from the Academy. And right now, mine is pegged out at the high end of the scale. You might as well tell me so I don’t have to resort to the thumbscrews we’re also given along with our badges.”

  “There’s nothing to tell. Nothing I want to tell, anyway.”

  “Who’s this woman who finally got to you? Is it what’s-her-name—Doreen—who’s been running after ...? Wait, of course not. It’s the pretty nanny, isn’t it?”

  Jack sighed and finally met his brother’s gaze. “Leave it, Sam. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Yeah, because stewing about it and wearing a rut in our wood floors is gonna solve the problem. Talking can’t help.”

  “Jesus, what are we a couple of middle school girls? I can figure this out by myself.”

  “From where I’m sitting, you’re not mak
ing much progress on that front. And, FYI, Chihuly needs the fur you’re scratching off the top of his head.”

  “Shit. Sorry, boy.” He discontinued his attention to the dog and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. “How cliché can you get? The only woman who’s interested me in God knows how long turns out to be my kids’ nanny. Not only that, but she’s so young, she could be my daughter. I’ve turned into a dirty old man.”

  “Oh, come on. Unless you hooked up with someone while you were dating Paula and have a daughter I don’t know about, she couldn’t be your daughter. Although if you did do something like that, Barb might know. I’ll ask her.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it. And for God’s sake, don’t bring our sister into this. If she ever found out...”

  “If she found out you’d finally decided you’re too young to be alone and started looking at an attractive woman the way a man should look at her, she’d be happy for you.”

  “Or ream me out.”

  “Come on, Jack. We all know Paula made you promise you wouldn’t be alone after she was gone. When are you going to stop looking out for everyone else and start looking out for yourself? And why would you want to fly solo when you have a pretty woman who might want to fly with you?”

  “Quanna’s not merely pretty. She’s beautiful. And smart and funny and warm and...” He shook his head at the smirk on his brother’s face. “Leave it, Sam. She’s too young. Not only that, but she works for me and has shown no interest in me as anything more than her employer.”

  “She doesn’t seem too young to me. And from the way she looks at you when she thinks you’re not paying attention, she’s interested.”

  “You met her for all of, what, ten minutes when you brought the boys to the ranch. That makes you an expert, does it?”

  “More like twenty-four hours and, again, I refer you to how I make a living. I know how to read people. She’s interested. I’d bet my retirement on it.”