Thankful for Love

by Peggy Bird

  Quanna shook her head. “As much as I appreciate your coming here and what you said, I don’t think going back is possible. Thanksgiving showed me what I’d been afraid of all along—there are people around who don’t like the idea of a white man being with an Indian. I can’t set Jack and the boys up for that kind of treatment.”

  “Oh, you’re doing it for Jack and the boys.”

  “Of course I am. Who else would I be doing it for?”

  Anne finally stood. “Well, it occurs to me you might not be protecting Jack as much as you’re protecting yourself. I wouldn’t have thought you would be afraid of anything, but giving up because of what might happen ...”

  “Anne, this is about knowing what will happen, not worrying it might. I want to spare Jack and the boys having to go through what I’m sure they’ll have to face because of who I am.”

  “If you say so.” Anne put out her hand. “I don’t have the right to ask to be your friend. But I do hope you can overlook my recent behavior and give me another chance to win your regard.”

  Quanna shook her hand. “Absolutely. Thank you again. I appreciate your honesty and your courage in coming here.” She opened the door.

  Anne paused in the doorway. “Quanna, we’re all afraid sometimes. I was afraid to come here to see you. Courage isn’t feeling no fear. It’s facing the fear and moving ahead in spite of it. If you don’t want to take advice from me, I understand. But you might want to think about what I just said. It applies to you as much as it does to me.” This time her smile was open, friendly, and honest. “I hope I see you again.”

  Chapter 21

  During the drive out to the ranch on Saturday, Quanna kept hearing Anne’s words. Was she giving in to fear as Anne had said? And was she being honest about what she was afraid of? And for whom?

  And then there was Jack’s accusation. She had made the decision to break things off without talking to him. Was it because she was being brave for him or because she was being afraid for herself?

  She didn’t have the answers, but she acknowledged she had to talk to Jack in order to try to find them. She’d think about it over the weekend, and maybe by next week, she’d have the courage to do something about it.

  Her plan to wait until the following week changed abruptly when she arrived at the house and saw Jack’s pickup in front, in its usual spot. Maybe fate was suggesting rather strongly now was better than later.

  She parked next to it and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel for a few moments trying to decide if she wanted to go in. When Anne’s final comment resurfaced again in her mind, she decided to take the advice and a first step by facing all the Richardsons.

  Daniel answered her knock on the door. “How come you didn’t use your key?” he asked.

  “I’m not coming to work today, am I? And it’s not my house.” She stepped into the familiar entryway, looking around for evidence of the owner of the truck. “Your dad’s pickup is out front. I thought you said he wasn’t here this morning.”

  Daniel avoided her gaze and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I guess I misunderstood.”

  “Daniel.” She used the tone of voice that always got him to do what she asked.

  “Okay. I guess I knew he would be here.”

  “So, what about getting to the soccer game?”

  “There isn’t one. I wanted you to come here when you weren’t working and Dad was here so you could talk and make everything all right again.” He looked so unhappy she wanted to hug him. “But it didn’t work. He went riding. I tried to get him to stay, but I couldn’t.”

  “He didn’t want to see me?” Maybe her bravery was already too late.

  “I didn’t tell him you were coming. I told him we needed him here for homework and stuff. He said he’d help when he got back. He’s been riding a lot this week. To think, he says.”

  “You shouldn’t have lied to me, Daniel. You could have asked me to come talk to your dad.”

  “I didn’t know if you would say yes.”

  He had her, and he probably knew it. “I don’t know what I would have said. But I never had the chance to decide, did I?”

  “Please. Wait for him now.”

  The last thing she wanted was to have a conversation with Jack—this conversation in particular—within earshot of two curious kids. “Maybe I can go to him if you know where he went.”

  “I think he goes out to the pond where the cattle are.”

  “Oh. Then I guess I can’t. I don’t know how to find the road there.”

  “But you know how to get there on a horse, don’t you?”

  • • •

  Jack had been pitching stones into the pond for who knows how long, trying to decide if he was going to finally do what he’d set out each morning that week to do. On one hand, it made sense to get rid of the reminders of his hopes for a life with Quanna. On the other hand, if he did what he’d planned, it would be a sign any future with her was definitely off the table. Was he ready to give up? God knows, there had been little indication his tiny shred of hope was warranted. But there was still a part of him desperate to hang on to any possibility no matter how infinitesimal.

  He was about to reach into his pocket for the offending items when he heard the sound of an approaching horse. Damn it, Daniel had disobeyed again. He whirled around and started to light into his son. “How many times have I told you ...”

  It wasn’t Daniel. Twenty feet away from him was Quanna. On Rose.

  “You’re not Daniel,” was all he could think of to say.

  “No, I’m not.” She dismounted and led the horse toward him.

  “And you’re riding Rose.”

  “Daniel saddled her for me.”

  He had to smile. “The devious little ...”

  “You don’t know the half of it. He asked me to come out to the ranch today to take him to a soccer game because you were busy with something else.”

  “What soccer game?”

  “Exactly.”

  She was now so close he could reach out and touch her. He didn’t because he was sure she’d back away, but knowing he could made his heart ache with need. “What are you doing here?” His tone was more demanding than it should be, but he needed to know what was going on.

  “Like I said, I was lured here by a ten-year-old.” She seemed to be looking any place but at him.

  “I didn’t mean here as in the ranch. I meant here as in this spot.”

  “Oh, that. Well, I had decided on the drive out here I needed the answer to a couple of questions. And I can’t answer them without talking to you. Besides, I owe you the truth about something. Since Daniel set it up so nicely for us to be together, I’m taking advantage of it.”

  “What questions do you need answered?”

  “Do you think I’m a coward?”

  “Of course not. Why would you even ask?”

  “Anne pretty much called me one, and I’m beginning to think she was right.”

  “Anne Salazar? That’s terrible. When?”

  “When she came to apologize on Thursday, she said I wasn’t trying to protect you and the boys. I was afraid and trying to protect myself. I told her she was wrong. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how right she was.”

  She looked directly at him for the first time. “I kept saying I was trying to keep you from being hurt by what people like that Lenny guy would say. But it’s not true. I was scared. Gossip is like water falling on a rock. At first it rolls right off. But eventually, the incessant drip, drip, drip begins to make an impression. After a while, it wears away the rock completely.”

  She touched him for the first time, placing her hand in his. He regretted the gloves he was wearing kept him from skin-to-skin contact with her.

  “I love you so much I couldn’t run the risk you’d turn away from me because of the comments I knew people would make. It would kill me to lose you because of who I am. So I took the coward’s way out ...”

  �
��And sent me away because you were afraid I’d walk away.” He finally understood what had happened. The relief he felt must surely show on his face. It definitely showed in his shaking hands as he took both of hers. “I thought you knew me better, Quanna. I love you. You have to believe me. The opinions of some racist jackass could never change that. I’m not like your brother’s wife. I’d never walk away because things got a little complicated. Life’s complicated. I know that better than most. You don’t just give up. You keep going.”

  “Maybe my brother’s experience was more on my mind that I was willing to admit. Maybe that’s what made me so scared.” She shivered, and he drew her closer. “I thought I was the brave one in this relationship because I was willing to face the truth about what people might say and you weren’t. But I’m beginning to believe you’ve been the brave one all along.” She shivered again. “Sorry. It’s freezing out here.”

  Unbuttoning his shearling coat, he wrapped it around her. Her cold hands shocked him when she put her arms around his middle. “Oh, sweetheart. We need to get you home and in front of a fire.”

  “Let me finish first before we have two eager eavesdroppers. There’s another question. You said I was doing the same thing I accused you of doing—making decisions for us, for all of us, without consulting anyone else. Okay, then let me ask you, if you don’t think we should break up because of what happened on Thanksgiving, how do you think we should handle stuff like that? Because, trust me, it won’t be the last time.”

  “About that. I owe you an apology. I didn’t take it seriously when you warned me there were people like Lenny among my friends. I’m sorry. I won’t make that mistake again. But what do I think we should do? Act as a team. Present a united family front. Call the bigots out about their prejudice when we hear it. Talk to the kids so they’re not blindsided in case it happens to them. Live our lives without giving those assholes space in our heads.”

  “You mean it, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do.” He kissed the top of her head. “As long as we’re together, we’re strong enough to face anything. I’m sure of it.”

  “There’s one last thing.”

  “Right, the truth you think you owe me. You’ve got me curious.”

  “I got the job with you under false pretenses. I took down almost all the fliers you put up so I wouldn’t have too much competition because I wanted the job so badly.”

  For the first time in a week, Jack laughed. “That’s not much of a lie. But at least it explains why so few people contacted me. This time, there have been a dozen or more.”

  “Have you already hired someone?” She sounded worried about the possibility. Which made him happy.

  “Not yet. I haven’t even scheduled interviews. Thought I might get to it next week. Or the week after. I figured if I put it off long enough, I might have a chance to convince you to stay.”

  “Now I see where Daniel gets his deviousness.”

  “Speaking of the conniver-in-chief, we should get back to the house. I don’t like to leave them to their own devices too long. And you’re turning into an ice cube.”

  “Why are you out here in this weather, anyway?”

  “I was about to do something drastic.” He pulled two rings from his coat pocket. “I was going to pitch these into the pond so I wouldn’t have to look at them every day. Think I’ll keep them now.” He held out his hand so she could see them. “Amanda brought them on Thanksgiving. A jewelry designer she knows made them for me. I wanted rings with a special meaning for us. So the designer braided metals to remind me of how you wear your hair and used copper, silver, and gold to represent the strands that make up the two of us. They’re meant to be our wedding rings. I was going to ask you to marry me before you left on Thanksgiving.”

  Her smile was tenuous, struggling as she was to overcome the tears backing up in her eyes. “They’re beautiful,” she managed to get out.

  “Pretty enough to make you say ‘yes’?”

  “To marrying you? If I’m forgiven.”

  “I think we’ve established we both need forgiveness. So, if we’ve agreed to that, is your answer ‘yes’ for sure?”

  “Absolutely yes.”

  “Then I can finally do this.” The kiss to seal their engagement was sweet, if a bit salty from her tears. “I’ve missed that for the past week. But since I can’t warm up the rest of you right now, let’s get you home,” he said when the kiss ended.

  “And give Daniel a chance to gloat.”

  “I’m not sure I want to give him the power. But it’ll be hard to avoid.”

  “Should you tell them we’re engaged or should I?”

  “First one back to the house gets to. And just so you know, Hero always beats Rose.”

  Hero didn’t win this time. It was a tie. However, there was no need to decide who would tell the boys. Apparently, when Daniel and Lucas saw the couple walk hand in hand from the barn after they put the horses up, it did the trick. At least, from the smiles on their faces, it seemed the message had been received: Quanna was back. For good.

  A Sneak Peek from Crimson Romance

  The Gift of Love

  Peggy Bird

  The last thing Isabella Rodriguez wanted for her birthday was a book on how to find herself. The accompanying condescending remark from her oldest brother Luis about how she was wasting her life and needed to read the book, and the nods of agreement from her three other brothers, made it worse. She wanted to throw them—and their gift—out of the house.

  She tried to lower her blood pressure and calm her anger by taking a few cleansing breaths. Unfortunately, what was effective in her yoga class didn’t seem to work anyplace else, so she gave up the attempt and let her emotions win. “I don’t need anyone’s advice on how to live my life, Luis. Especially not yours.” She was sure steam was coming out of her ears.

  Luis continued as if he hadn’t noticed anything—the words, the tone, or the steam. “Look, Izzy, it’s not just me. All four of us agree. We love you. But you’ve been living for free in Dad’s house ever since he died while the rest of us cover the taxes and the cost of keeping it maintained. The house was left to all of us, not only to you. Those of us with families would rather support our kids, not our sister. I don’t know if we’re more frustrated or worried that you seem hell bent on living like some trust fund kid on our mutual inheritance but—”

  “My name is Isabella,” she interrupted. “Bella, if you must shorten it. Never Izzy, in spite of your continued use of the horrible sounding name. And I’m twenty-seven, not a kid.”

  “Okay, whatever, Bella,” Luis said, his hand slicing the air in an impatient gesture. “But your name was all I got wrong. The rest is dead on. You haven’t had a serious job since you left California. It’s like you just stopped living when you moved to Portland.” He ran his fingers through his mop of curls, one of the few traits Bella and all her brothers shared. “God knows we’ve tried to help. How many contacts did we give you in the real estate business here? Contacts who might have had a job for you.”

  “I didn’t realize pressuring me to take the jobs in the family business no one else wanted was help. Or trying to set me up with a job I didn’t want. I thought it was just interference. As this is.”

  Luis ignored her comment and went on with his lecture. “You shouldn’t bear all the blame for where you are in life. Mom and Dad indulged you because you were their baby girl. But Mom and Dad are gone. It’s time to get over being spoiled by them.”

  The mention of her parents punched her in the gut. As the only girl, the youngest in the family, and a late in life surprise for her parents, she’d had a special closeness with them both. And taking care of them in the last years of their lives had only strengthened an already strong relationship. Especially with her father, who’d had a particular soft spot for her. The empty space left by his death the year before was a lot smaller now than it had been right after he died, but it was still there. She missed him. Badly. No more
so than today, her birthday.

  If he’d been alive, this would have been a joyous celebration. He loved throwing parties for his kids, even when they were grown up. When her four brothers had said they’d all be bringing their families up from California for her birthday, Bella had visions of a family reunion and a party close to what her father would have arranged. It was serendipitous her birthday fell on a Friday this year, making it possible for them to all make it to Portland in time for dinner and, she had hoped, a weekend together. Friday the thirteenth of July would be her lucky day, she thought.

  Except it hadn’t turned out at all as she’d expected. Her celebration, it seemed, had merely provided an excuse to call a meeting to handle a crisis—her. She should have known. The four men never all came to Portland for anything other than a family matter to take care of. A new roof for the house. Papers to be signed for the business. Their father’s funeral. She was in the same category as home repairs and memorial services. She hadn’t figured it out until her three sisters-in-law took their kids and hightailed it out the door right after eating the dinner she’d carefully prepared for everyone. Leaving their gifts for her to open without them, they made no excuses and didn’t say goodbye. They waited until she was in the kitchen after clearing the table and left, abandoning her to the mercy of her brothers.

  What a stupid fool she had been to actually think her siblings cared about her birthday. All they cared about was their own agenda.

  At least Luis had brought up the subject of her future after the women and children had hit the lifeboats for the safety of the shore. Or wherever they were headed. The one good thing about all of this was that he’d had the courtesy not to embarrass her in front of her nieces and nephews.