Lonesome Cowboy (Honky Tonk Hearts)

by Dawn, Stacy

  Chapter Twelve

  Fierce muscles pounded beneath him as dust flew up like a smoke screen until Marshall could see nothing but the head of the bull, its heavy breath snorting dust in smoky ringlets away from them.

  He held on tight, rallying with the monstrous beast beneath him. No way was this thing going to beat him today. With gloved hand fisted around the rope, the muscles of his thighs and calves straining to hold on, every movement hinged on the bull.

  The whistle went, and he timed the bucking to release and dismount, hightailing his ass out of the way of the still furious beast.

  Two former bullfighters, now ranch hands for Chase, distracted the animal and attempted to corral it back toward the pen.

  Marshall shot a look back, the grin on his face widening as he watched White Fire kick his legs and storm around the ring. Damn, that felt good.

  Hell, everything felt good right now. He hadn’t felt this light in ages.

  “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or be pissed.” Chase’s laugh came with the hand extended toward him as he exited the ring. “Damn good ride. You were on fire there. Surprised you didn’t take him right down.”

  He shook the hand then slapped his buddy’s shoulder. “Got lucky is all.”

  “Good job there, son,” Elwood offered. “You should be good to get that title again this year.”

  “Right,” he agreed automatically.

  Though he’d told the old man he had no interest in going back to the rodeo umpteen times, Elwood never let up. He took the ensuing good natured thump to the back of his protective vest just as a red sports car drove up.

  Marshall shucked his gloves one finger at a time as long legs in a short business skirt exited the vehicle.

  Lee-Anne smiled as she approached, stopping to give Elwood a peck on the cheek. “Hey, Gramps. Chase, when are you going to get those damned potholes fixed? They’re hell on my shocks, not to mention my undercarriage.” She made her way to stand in front of him. “Marshall.”

  He should have known she’d be back for round two.

  Chase’s cousin crossed her arms over the crisp white blouse, pushing the cleavage higher into the opening. He chuckled. Maybe it worked for her other clients, but he wasn’t interested.

  “I’ve made my decision, Lee-Anne.”

  “Come on, Marshall.” A pout pushed the ruby lips forward as she brushed a finger down his sleeve. “After all I’ve done for you. I thought a good night’s sleep would change your mind.”

  An incessant honking pulled everyone’s attention to a truck careening into the space beside the sports car as more dust flew up than on his ride atop the bull.

  “Thank goodness!” Elwood exclaimed, hands swinging up in relief. “This doesn’t sound like a conversation a grandfather wants to hear.” He hobbled over to the truck where his old friends sat waving to the group. “See you at breakfast. Andee said the special was Texas-sized hotcakes today.”

  When the truck skidded off, Chase’s brow lifted in his direction, and Marshall shook his head. “Don’t even.” He’d never had any interest in his friend’s ambitious cousin, and Chase knew it.

  Marshall turned his attention back to the lady in front of him. “And no, I haven’t changed my mind. I’m not selling anymore. Take the place off the market, Lee-Anne.”

  She dropped her hand. “First you turn down some good offers over the last two years, and now you want the whole thing off the market? It doesn’t make sense. I never understood why you bought that run-down house in the first place. But what are you going to do with it now?” She stepped closer. “Come on, Marsh. We could make a lot of money off this if you let me do it my way.”

  He stepped away, taking off his Stetson to wipe his brow. “It was never about the money for me, Lee-Anne.”

  And he realized yesterday that it was never his to sell either. He’d bought the bed and breakfast for Amy. In his depression after coming back without her, Lee-Anne had talked him into putting it on the market, but he’d never been able to bring himself to let it go. Angry as he’d been, it was all he’d had left of her. The rapt look on Amy’s face yesterday as she explored the house only proved the place belonged to her. It always had…along with his heart.

  He’d spent the night spinning around everything he’d learned yesterday. All she’d had to go through, without him. They’d both made bad choices, mostly based on the manipulation of other people, something neither of them could have foreseen.

  He’d done a lot of thinking last night. Thinking that a lot of time had been wasted. Thinking that the little show of jealousy from Amy yesterday gave him hope they might have a second chance to be where they should have been from the start—together.

  A lot of things still needed to be worked out, and if not for Gus being short handed last night and his obligations to Chase this morning, he’d have already been on her doorstep.

  And he’d never get there if he didn’t finish up this redundant conversation with Lee-Anne, not to mention two more bull rides.

  “I told you yesterday, I’ll make sure you get compensated, Lee-Anne.” A grin grew on her face, and Marshall held his hand up. “Commission-wise. I’ll make sure you get your commission money.”

  The pout was back as she spun around, got into her sports car, and skidded out of the driveway.

  “You sure you know what you’re doing?”

  Marshall set his Stetson back on his head and squinted against the bright sunshine behind his friend. “Nope.”

  “Okay, then. Just thought I’d ask.”

  Chase’s laughter led the way to the gate as Marshall checked his watch, counting down the seconds until he could be with Amy again.

  ****

  “That’s great,” Amy said into her cell phone. “Yes, please email it to me. Thank you so much.”

  Rocking Charlotte in her arms, she discontinued the call and tucked her cell phone into the pocket of her shorts. An offer had finally come in on the house, and it wasn’t far off the asking price. Close enough that she was more than comfortable with signing the papers and getting the ball rolling. Better yet, they wanted an early closing date. The sooner the better, as far as I’m concerned.

  Calculations automatically started in her head, deducting lawyer and realtor commision, adding in an initial offer on the inn, renovation and start up costs for the B&B. It might be tight, but by living on the premises, they’d save a lot on living expenses.

  On a spark of excitement, she looped the baby sling over her shoulder, secured her daughter in the snuggly pouch and headed down the stairs. Along with everything else, Andee had been good enough to offer the use of the computer in the tiny back office if she needed it.

  Through the screen door of the Sunrise Café’s kitchen, she saw Andee corralling a whining Jackson in the office doorway while her cook, Marge, competently landed a stack of hotcakes a mile high onto a plate. Her cousin turned as she knocked and entered.

  “Hey there.” Andee grabbed up her son and blew out a heavy breath. “Want some breakfast?”

  “In a bit, thanks. I just need to borrow your computer first if that’s okay. An offer came in on the house.”

  “That’s great!” The red curls bobbed as her cousin stepped out of the doorway. “Go on in. Davis should be here any minute to take…thank God!”

  The screen door swung open, giving reason to the roll of Andee’s gaze heavenward and thankful sigh as her husband stepped up beside them.

  She hefted the squirming toddler to his father. “He’s been like a monkey on caffeine this morning.”

  Davis simply laughed as he rubbed a hand through Jackson’s rusty mop. “I’ll run him around the park for a bit, and then he can come with me to old Bart’s. His border collie just had pups.”

  “Perfect,” Andee said as she stood on tiptoes to pat her son’s back and give her husband a kiss.

  A small pang of envy clasped Amy’s chest, and she turned away from the intimate family moment.

  Within
minutes, the old printer was pounding out the pages of the real estate offer. Once complete, Amy patted her daughter’s back as she took the papers into the café’s seating area to read over breakfast.

  A group of regulars sitting along the counter nodded and smiled to her as she settled into a bright window table nearby.

  She looked up when Andee backed out of the kitchen door with another armful of plates.

  “Here you go, gentlemen. Elwood, no butter, extra syrup. Charlie, no syrup, extra butter…” her cousin recited down the line as she unloaded the plates before the row of men.

  Steam rose to fog the wire-rim glasses of one as he smiled. “Mmm, that’s some mighty fine smellin’ hotcakes there. When you gonna get me a date with Marge? I’m not getting any younger.”

  “Cold day in hell, Charlie,” the cook called through the small window.

  He winked up at Andee. “I sure do like ’em feisty.”

  Amy couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter at the exchange and was still smiling when her cousin took the seat across from her.

  “So? What have you decided?”

  Shuffling the papers of the offer in front of her, Amy grinned. “I haven’t read the details yet, but the realtor was happy with it.”

  Andee rolled her eyes. “I mean you and Marshall? Do you think he wants to get back together? Do you?” Concern laced the hazel eyes.

  Amy bit the inside of her cheek. She’d told Andee everything last night on another bender of confusion and guilt. Her mother’s lies and the truth about Hank. About Marshall not having a clue and bringing home a ring and…okay, maybe she hadn’t told her cousin everything. She’d left out the soul-jarring kiss, and the toe curling one after that, too. They were hers alone to hold onto in case what Marshall wanted to talk about wasn’t what she hoped he wanted to talk about.

  Reality was, a few kisses didn’t mean they could just pick up where they left off. And what about that realtor chick? Were the two in a relationship? Or was she just projecting her fears of being played again onto the blonde bombshell?

  Her chest tightened, pulled into a tug-o-war of emotions. She didn’t want to think too far ahead, but at the same time, if a second chance was possible…didn’t they deserve one after all the lies that had come between them, held them back, all the might-have-beens?

  A nuzzle against her breast brought her attention down to the fuzzy head. As much as she wished the past to be different, to be what it should have been with Marshall, she would never wish not to have Charlotte. Only a couple weeks and already she lived for her daughter, and her alone right now.

  “I don’t know, Andee,” she answered truthfully. “So much has happened. It’s not like it was before.” She brushed a hand over her daughter’s brow, smiling when the nose wrinkled in her sleep. “There’s Charlotte. That’s a big responsibility.” She of all people understood that now. “Not many men his age want a ready made family.”

  “But what do you want?”

  It would be a lie to say her heart was hers to give anymore…it had been Marshall’s from the first moment he’d hauled his duffel bag into the Morning Glory Inn. He had her heart, he always would…but was that enough for him to get over everything else? The lies, another man’s child?

  “I want to do the right thing, for all of us.” Her heart did a little rap on her chest wall, as if reminding her of its choice. She raised a hesitant tilt of her lip at her cousin. “But if there is a chance…then yeah…I can always hope.”

  “And believe me. I do wish that for you.” Andee reached over to squeeze her arm. “But please, promise me you’ll take it slow, be careful. Maybe I’m being overprotective because of all you’ve gone through, but in my eyes, he still broke your heart once. I don’t want to see it happen again.” She stood and came around to give Amy a big hug. “But if it means you’ll be sticking around, I can’t ask for any more than that.”

  “Hey, Andee. How about a refill on the coffee?”

  Her cousin glanced over her shoulder to the men, who all had their mugs raised toward her.

  Andee laughed and headed behind the counter to grab one of the carafes from the double-sized machine. When finished, she tapped Amy’s table on the way to the kitchen. “I’ll be right back with your breakfast. Eggs or hotcakes?”

  “Eggs please, and thanks.”

  Amy smiled, truly feeling lighter for the first time in a very long while. Maybe it was being around family again…or maybe cleaning all the ghosts from her closets—even the ones she hadn’t known existed. She put a hand to her lips, still able to feel Marshall’s pressed against them. She wanted to believe in second chances; his kisses sure hadn’t felt like a goodbye, more like a hello…a big hello.

  “And that Marshall…”

  Elwood slapped his leg and gave a hearty laugh that grabbed her attention as much as her heart’s name.

  “You shoulda seen him on that bull this mornin’. Rode like he had a fire in him, like he could conquer any beast at all. Smilin’ like he hasn’t done in years.”

  Amy bit a lip as her cheeks heated. It was probably egotistical to even think, let alone hope, that the coincidence of timing might have something to do with her…and maybe their kiss yesterday? Even so, it didn’t stop her chest from expanding with hope and an incessant need to see him, soon. Should she call him? He did want to talk today, he said so…and then kissed her senseless again.

  “That boy could get himself another title this season.”

  Her hand paused with her cell phone half-way out of her pocket, hearing only bits and pieces through the pounding of her heart as Elwood continued to talk about Marshall and the upcoming rodeo. Air deflated from her lungs as a slow, icy chill crept up her spine. She turned away from them to stare out the window as flashes of the past assaulted her—Marshall kissing her and walking away.

  Trust me. This will all work out.

  Those were the words; his last words before he abandoned her for the rodeo.

  And those were his last words to her yesterday…

  Amy knew it was crazy, knew she was being irrational, but she couldn’t stop her breath coming in short, hyperventilating gasps. In her mind, all she saw was Marshall driving away, and the long, lonely nights trying hard to keep the faith even as her heart broke. She grasped the table, knuckles white on the Formica as she tried to pull air into her tight lungs.

  “Lee-Anne was sure pawin’ over Marshall this morning.”

  The comment filtered through the ringing in her ears, and Amy whipped her head around toward the men, being caught eavesdropping too low on her list to care when the rapid thunder of her heartbeat threatened to explode in her chest.

  “From the sounds of it, they was making up for some little tiff they had last night,” Elwood supplied.

  The room began to spin.

  “She’s a mighty handful,” Charlie hooted.

  “The way Marshall handles those bull, Lee-Anne’s no problem.”

  Cackles from the cronies at the counter echoed like macabre laughter around her, at her.

  He’ll go back to the rodeo and leave you all alone again.

  Hank played you. Your mother played you, of course Marshall is playing you! Getting his revenge for you losing faith, for marrying another man.

  Kiss you, keep you, throw you away.

  Playing you, just like everyone else.

  The laughter and viper-like, inner voices continued until she jerked out of the booth with a gasp. No! That wasn’t going to happen again. A fierce fire burned through her core. She wasn’t going to be anyone’s pawn ever again.

  Charlotte’s angry cry at the sudden jolt joined the mayhem, and she cradled her daughter close as the fire burned into anger. Anger at those who thought they could manipulate her life for their own selfish amusement. Well, she was done with all of them.

  A hand grasped her arm and she snapped her gaze up to find Andee’s filled with concern.

  Her cousin set down a plate of eggs and toast. “Amy? What’s wrong
?”

  “I have to go.” It was time she started taking control of her life. Drowning in her own undertow of past versus present, Amy scrambled to collect the papers on the table, clinging to them like a lifeline. “I need to go settle the house.” And get the hell out of there before her chest and head exploded.

  “But, Amy…”

  A shake of her head was all she could manage in her mad dash from the café.

  Up in the tiny apartment, she carefully set Charlotte in the bassinette, and then started tossing baby items into the diaper bag. Her chest was so full of red-hot fire, she was afraid the tiny clothes would ignite beneath her hands. Right now, her survival instincts were on overload. And she would survive; her daughter depended on her. If it was the last thing she did, she would survive, and flourish—but on her terms, no one else’s.

  She’d been a fool to think she could clean out the ghosts from her closets. Ghosts never left. If you were lucky, they faded to a distant memory; and if you weren’t, they kept howling at the door, reminding you how stupid you’d been.

  Amy tossed her own suitcase on the bed. She’d never been lucky.

  A quick call to the realtor set up an appointment to sign the papers first thing tomorrow morning. Once they were signed, she’d start looking for a small apartment, and then a job—no, a bed and breakfast or small inn. Maybe it was the anger talking, or she just finally found the strength to believe in herself, but she knew she could run her own business, and she’d be damned if she let anyone tell her she couldn’t again.

  A cold chill snuffed some of the fire out as she put her cell back in her pocket. Marshall hadn’t actually told her she couldn’t; in fact, he was the only one who believed she could—and that little B&B off the highway had been perfect…

  Amy shook her head. No, it didn’t matter. She couldn’t, wouldn’t risk that he was playing her, too, flashing something in front of her face only to have it come with a price too high to pay, like her dignity…or her heart.