by Lexi Archer
I turned my attention back to the picture on the phone. That was a picture that was almost worth sneaking off to the bathroom for some quality time! It’s a damn good thing I was looking at her status update, too. Otherwise I wouldn’t have hovered my thumb over the list of people who liked her post. I wouldn’t have seen his name.
My eyes narrowed as I saw that name come up on screen. Wade Thomas. It was the dorkiest fucking name ever, the sort of name you’d expect from either a second rate superhero or some sort of old money jackoff from the East Coast. Not some guy who grew up in the middle of East Bumfuck, Ohio.
It also happened to be the name of Michelle’s old flame. The guy she’d dated before me. The guy she was with for most of middle school, high school, and the first part of college before they ended up splitting up for some reason she never went into.
Now why the hell would that guy be liking one of her posts? I didn’t even realize the two of them were friends on social media. When did that happen?
I tried not to be the jealous boyfriend type, but it was a little difficult when I was measuring up against this guy. Sure Michelle never said anything that would make me think she was thinking of him, but how could she not compare me to him? He was her first love. She’d even said once when we were both a little tipsy that she might have married him if it weren’t for whatever it was that ended up breaking them up.
She hadn’t revealed what that was even when she was drunk off her cute little ass.
I almost wished I hadn’t looked at that status update now. I wished I’d listened to that little voice in the back of my head that told me it was bad luck to look at the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding day. Sure social media made that a difficult tradition to keep short of unfriending her, but still.
If I hadn’t looked at her post, if I hadn’t been ogling my future wife in her wedding dress and thinking about how hot it would be on our wedding night when I pulled that dress up revealing inch after inch of that body that I loved to explore, a body that I hadn’t begun to explore fully, then I wouldn’t have seen that name. I wouldn’t be suddenly gripped with crippling self-doubt.
Damn it.
I almost thumbed over to the phone part of my phone, but I stopped. What would I say if I called her? Tell her that her old boyfriend liked one of her posts? She knew that, obviously. Where would the conversation go from there?
I knew where. Probably to her wondering why I was making such a big deal out of this guy in particular. There was a slippery slope there.
She was friends with hundreds of guys. She was a hot girl. How could she not be? I’m sure there were plenty of guys on there who’d had the hots for my future wife over the years and now creeping on her online was the only way they got to interact with her since they couldn’t do her homework anymore.
I was pretty sure most of those guy friends were people she hadn’t talked to in years. I was pretty positive that most of them were of the variety who stayed friends with the hot girls on their list so they could creep on their pictures of an evening when they were settling down for a hot threesome with a bottle of beer and lotion, respectively.
Not that yours truly would ever do something like that. No sir.
The point I tried to make to myself, and not very well, was that this was no time to start getting jealous. After all, we’d been together for a few years now and she’d never given me any indication that she’d ever thought of being unfaithful, let alone any evidence that she’d actually been unfaithful. It was unfair to suddenly hold her to a higher standard now just because it wasn’t her ex.
Wasn’t it? Wasn’t I being paranoid? That’s what I told myself.
Still, there was that nagging voice in the back of my mind. A voice that told me there had to be something going on. A voice that suddenly bloomed into a full on fucking unwelcome vision of my beautiful fiancee down on her knees in that wedding dress.
Only in this new fantasy scenario I wasn’t the one she was getting down on her knees for. No, it was that Wade guy. I’d never even known what he looked like until now, and even when I clicked on his name all I could see was a single grainy picture that didn’t show much on my phone’s screen.
Still, it was enough to fill in the blanks on my unwelcome fantasy. I sat at my desk and clenched and unclenched my fist a couple of times. It was difficult to maintain control. I was seeing red, and I didn’t understand it.
I’d never been the jealous type before. I’d never thought she would be unfaithful. I’d never even imagined her being unfaithful. That’s how far out of the realm of reality it was for me.
And now here I was imagining her on her knees in her wedding dress. Maybe it was our wedding day, or maybe she’d just called him up after she tried it on so he could have a look. He’d liked her post, after all. I’m sure he’d love a chance to like that view in person.
I shook my head. What the fuck was wrong with me? What brought on this sudden craziness? I needed to get this fucking intrusive thought out of my head. I hated it. I hated the vision of her leaning forward, pulling back her veil, and instead of kissing me in front of a church and all of our family she was taking his cock into her mouth.
I shivered. I knew just how good she was at sucking cock. She had to be a champ at it, after all. It was one of those things that we did to ease some tension while we waited for that magical day when we’d be man and wife and we could fuck.
And now here I was imagining her sucking some other guy’s cock. I wondered if she’d sucked his cock before. If he felt the same frustrations I did because she wouldn’t give it up.
Or had she given it up to him? I had no way of knowing. They dated for a long time, though. If she was going to fuck anyone before me, he’d be the one. Had he gotten to the prize before I did? Was all that stuff about waiting for marriage just a line she’d been feeding me? What if she was saying all that because she was fucking this guy on the side and wanted to keep me happily in the dark or something?
I shook my head. This was crazy. Crazy and dangerous. What kind of guy thought about his girl getting with another guy and got hard. Wait. I was hard?
What the fuck?
What the hell was going on here? Was I hard because I was turned on, or was I hard because I was pissed off? Because I was seeing red in a way that I never had before. I felt jealousy in a way I never had before.
I took a deep breath. Let it out nice and slow. Everything was cool here. I wasn’t losing my cool. I wasn’t going to get out of control and demand that Michelle tell me what the hell this guy thought he was doing liking a picture of her in the wedding dress she was going to wear on our wedding day.
I definitely wasn’t getting turned on thinking about it. I would just go home tonight, ask her what was going on, and we’d have a nice rational conversation about everything.
Yeah, that sounded good. That sounded like a great idea. Besides, I had the whole job thing to worry about. It wouldn’t do if I got so pissed off that I couldn’t do my work for the rest of the damn day. I needed to get it under control. These spreadsheets weren’t going to compute themselves.
It was amazing. I managed to get so caught up in work that I actually forgot about the whole ex-boyfriend thing until the end of the day. I didn’t think about it again until I got home later that night and I was in bed with Michelle.
We were cuddling when it suddenly hit me. I felt her body pressed against me, and I suddenly wondered if another man had felt her body pressing against him earlier in the day. If that was what that like was all about. It was a crazy and irrational thought, but I couldn’t help myself.
I’d hoped Michelle wouldn’t notice it, but of course she started grinding her ass back against me as soon as she felt my cock growing against her. Not that I could fault her for that reaction. After all, usually when I got hard like that it was a direct result of being up close and personal with my wife to be. Usually it had nothing to do with something crazy like a getting both angry and turned on at the same
time thinking about the idea of her getting with her ex-boyfriend.
That’s not exactly the kind of thing you think about in a relationship. Not usually. I could feel the anger returning. That wasn’t good. I was going to say something stupid. I just knew it.
Michelle reached around behind me and ran her hand up and down the length of my cock. She always seemed more than happy to cop a feel even if she was always reluctant to let me fuck her. It was a point of contention that had caused a couple of arguments in our time together, and thinking about it now just added to the anger that was already percolating under the surface because of the idea of her still being in touch with that guy.
That anger was made even worse because I had no idea if I was turned on or upset at the idea of her still being friends with that guy. Talk about fucked up.
“It seems somebody’s happy to see me,” Michelle said.
“I guess,” I said.
Michelle turned around, which incidentally gave her better access to my cock. Her hand moved up, and then one of her fingers slipped inside my boxer shorts. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on the delicious feeling of her hand wrapping around my cock. It was funny, but I’d actually come to appreciate hand jobs a hell of a lot more since I’d gotten with Michelle. Especially since hand jobs were one of the things she was willing to do on the regular.
Blowjobs were for special occasions, and apparently fucking was just for our wedding night. Or maybe for ex-boyfriends.
Damn it. Why did I let that thought keep seizing control of my mind? What the hell was wrong with me? What the hell was wrong with her, being friends with an ax like that? Particularly an ex who supposedly had broken her heart and left her so sad and upset.
“Is something wrong?” Michelle asked.
I bit my lip on the inside. Otherwise I was in danger of saying something stupid. Something I’d regret. Something that might put our relationship in jeopardy.
“No, nothing’s wrong,” I said. “Just thinking about something I saw at work today.”
Stupid. I needed to get this out there. We needed to have it out over this. There was no way I was going to stop thinking about this unless I talked to her about it. I suppose it was a good thing, or maybe it was a bad thing, that she wasn’t taking my evasiveness for an answer.
“Seriously, what’s wrong? You can’t hide it when you’re upset about something. You always had the worst poker face.”
I sighed. Opened my mouth and started saying something stupid before I could think about it. That was how it worked when I got really mad. My mouth ran head of my brain. It was a habit that had gotten me into a little bit of trouble on more than one occasion.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Do you want to maybe tell me what the hell is going on with you and that Wade guy?”
Even I thought I was being ridiculous. That I was overreacting to something that was probably completely innocent. I expected her to tell me I was being ridiculous. That there was obviously nothing going on between the two of them, and there hadn’t been anything going on between the two of them since they broke up.
The last thing I expected was what she actually did. She stared at me for a moment, her eyes moving back and forth and searching my own. She opened her mouth as though to say something and then closed it.
Then she burst into tears.
Well then. That was unexpected. I suppose the old saying about being careful what you wished for was true. And the fucked up thing? I was still rock hard.
Her crying meant there was a possibility that something really was going on here. The possibility that there was something going on here meant there was a possibility she was fucking around with this Wade guy.
It was kind of twisted and screwed up, but there was a part of me that figured if she was out there fucking around then it meant I had a chance of getting some before the wedding day too if I could just figure out why him and not me. And so I got turned on thinking about her with another guy. The idea of him plunging his cock inside her when I hadn’t been able to do that with my own fucking fiancée turned me on, and I hated it. I hated myself for loving that idea.
“So do you want to tell me what the hell is going on here?” I asked.
She kept right on crying. Damn it. Well this was a perfect ending to what had been a fucked up day.
3: Confession
Michelle:
What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I crying like this? I hadn’t even done anything wrong.
Sure I’d accepted a friend request from Wade a few months back and I hadn’t said anything to Travis at the time. I’d thought it was innocent enough. I didn’t think Wade would do something silly like bring up that agreement. Who asked a girl to fulfill an old agreement to let him be her first?
Especially when he hadn’t held to his side of the fucking agreement which resulted in our breakup in the first place!
And now the asshole was worming his way into my pending marriage. He was finding ways to get in between me and Travis and I hated it. I suppose that, more than anything, was the reason why I was so upset. Why I was lying here in bed next to my fiancé, next to the man I loved, bawling uncontrollably.
“Michelle,” Travis said. “Seriously. What the hell is going on here? Are you cheating on me?”
Was I cheating on him? No! I wanted to scream that out even as I screamed it in my head. Only I couldn’t get any words out. It was difficult considering I had these sobs wracking my body.
“Michelle? Is there something wrong here? Are we going to have to call off the wedding?”
That struck me like an arrow straight to my heart. He might as well have reached in and yanked my heart out while it was still beating and stomped it on the ground in front of me. That was the effect it had on me.
I wanted Travis in my life. I needed him in my life. He was going to be my husband, I hoped, even after all this.
I didn’t think that anything I’d done was bad enough to warrant calling off the wedding! It was just a text conversation, and it was a conversation where I’d told Wade exactly where he could shove that old agreement.
Why should I get in trouble for something like that? I’d been good. I’d done the right thing. Even if I had gotten turned on while I was doing the right thing.
That more than anything is what made me feel guilty. Travis was supposed to be all I ever wanted. He was supposed to be all I ever needed. I was supposed to want him. I wasn’t supposed to want to Wade back. Damn it.
And now all of that pent up guilt inside me that had been threatening to break free all day long, guilt that had stabbed at me when Travis came home and smiled at me like I was still the perfect fiancée, was coming out. I was sobbing and it looked exactly like I’d done something terrible. This was the worst possible reaction I could have.
No. I was not going to let this ruin my relationship with Travis. I was not going to let this ruin what we had. It was me and Travis against the world, and Wade wasn’t going to come between any of that. No matter how much he’d probably like that. I’m sure the pervert was off somewhere jerking off thinking about me dumping my fiancé for him.
Well he had another thing coming. I would just be honest with Travis. I would tell him everything. I would let him decide whether or not what I did was really all that bad.
I didn’t think it was, but then again I wasn’t Travis. I wasn’t the one who could make that call.
“It was just a couple of texts,” I finally managed to choke out. I was a mess. I hated that I was such a mess.
“Texts?” Travis asked. “What are you talking about? Were you sexting this guy or something? Jesus Michelle, you wouldn’t even do that with me and you’re sending dirty pictures to some stranger!”
The question and the accusation burned. And with that accusation something else replaced the guilt. Anger. Here he was accusing me of doing something I would never dream of. Of stepping out on him. How could he think I would be capable of that? And that anger broke through.
“No I was not sexting him!” I shouted. “The only thing I’ve done is accept a friend request that I didn’t think was a big deal! So I hit accept, and he liked that picture today and that’s it!”
I was surprised at the pure fury in my voice. I tried not to get that angry. I tried to be nice. To be the good girl. To be friendly with everyone. I especially wanted to be friendly with my fiancé.
I loved him. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him inadvertently. Only it looked like I’d already done that. I just didn’t know how to fix it when I didn’t feel like I’d done anything wrong in the first place.
“Geez, I’m sorry Michelle,” he said. “You just started sobbing and I thought the worst…”
“You mean you thought I was capable of cheating on you! You’re such an asshole!” I said, slapping his chest. Not a playful slap, either. I was getting good and pissed off. I didn’t really like it, but at the same time the anger was taking control just as assuredly as the guilt had been eating at me all day long.
I wasn’t sure if I was more angry at myself or at Travis.
“Now wait just one damned minute,” Travis said. “Aren’t you the one who was carrying on with an ex-boyfriend? Why are you getting pissed off at me?”
“That’s the thing,” I said. “I wasn’t carrying on with an ex-boyfriend at all. He just liked that one post. That was it. That was all! You’re turning something on social media that I couldn’t really control into some huge thing like I’m cheating on you!”
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t entirely true. I could have controlled whether or not Wade had the ability to get in touch with me in the first place. I could have declined his friend request when it came in, and I hadn’t for whatever reason. I was afraid of what those reasons might be. I was afraid that maybe in the back of my mind I’d been thinking about that agreement.
