Deathbed Confessions of the Criminally Insane

by Jack Steen

  She was furious with me.

  I was going to ruin everything, she said.

  This can’t be rushed, she reminded me.

  What the fuck was I thinking, she shouted at me over and over again.

  It didn’t matter how much I tried to explain it, her body shook with anger and I started to really fear I’d crossed that line finally with her.

  It was too late to cancel though. I didn’t have her number and considering she was going to come over anyway…why not go through with it?

  Barbie slammed cupboard doors as she threw our clothes into our suitcases.

  She slammed our van doors after filling the back with the little personal affects we lugged around with us.

  She slammed the bedroom door as she got dressed, yelling at me to order the damn-fucking-pizza before she arrived.

  The pizza arrived before the girl did.

  While we waited, I couldn’t help but think I’d never seen her look so beautiful.

  She wore a short skirt and a tight t-shirt without a bar or underwear.

  She had her hair pulled back tight in a ponytail and I loved how it swayed with her exaggerated movements.

  I was fucking turned on even with her mad at me and she knew it.

  Barbie spoke her last personal words to me that night.

  They’re seared into my brain.

  If we get caught, I will never forgive you for this. Any other day fine. But not today. She’d said. I’ll be waiting for you in hell and I’ll make you wish you’d never see me again.

  The depth of hatred in her voice almost destroyed me.

  I wish I had found an excuse when the girl came to our door.

  I wish I had stopped her from coming in.

  I wish I had done something, anything to prevent Barbie from seeing her and severing any chance of us walking away that night.

  That girl, let’s call her Susie even though you should know her name by now, was everything we’d hoped she’d be and nothing like the girl we needed her to be.

  She was sweet. Naive. Charming. Innocent.

  She wore tight ass jeans but a flowy top that when pulled down enough, cupped her boobs.

  Oh, and let me just say, she wasn’t all that innocent. She came to the house without a bra on.

  One look at her and Barbie was lost.

  We ate our pizza while sitting together on the couch. Actually, I sat on the floor by Barbie’s legs. She kept her hand on my head or arm and the other close enough to the girl’s leg that she could casually stroke it while they talked and nothing was thought of it.

  Somehow, Barbie managed to get close to Susie, her hand cupping those beautiful young breasts and I sat there with the largest hard on while Barbie’s tongue played with the Susie’s sweet beautiful lips.

  At one point our phone rang and Susie spoke up that it was just her mom calling. Since this was her first time here, her mom liked to call to check in on her.

  Barbie answered the phone and sweet talked the mother for a little bit. She explained about her imaginary sister, how we just wanted to get to know Susie a little to ease her mind since she was very protective.

  After Susie talked with her mom for a little, we all eased back on the couch to watch a movie.

  Barbie was uncomfortable in her skirt and convinced Susie to help her pick out something else to wear. The girls didn’t leave the bedroom for quite a while. I heard a lot of giggling and moaning and pumped myself dry listening to them play with each other.

  By the time I heard Barbie call my name I was more than ready to join them.

  God she was such a sweet fuck. She wasn’t a virgin but she was so tight around me as I pumped into her over and over and over.

  Barbie and I both played with her.

  She in turn played with us.

  And then the cloths came out.

  Barbie tied Susie’s hands to the top of the bed railing while I sucked on her tits.

  Susie seemed a little concerned at that point and tugged hard, so I rolled away and let Barbie calm her down.

  Within in time, Susie was close to another orgasm and that’s when we knew it was time.

  While I was inside Susie, Barbie was playing with her nipples and whispering sweet nothings in between kisses.

  At one point I thought I heard Stacie’s name being said.

  Barbie’s hands covered Susie’s throat as I continued to fuck her and then eventually my hands covered hers.

  Susie didn’t notice until I began squeezing.

  Her eyes widened. Her arms pulled. Her body jerked.

  Then the phone began to ring.

  I was ignoring it until Susie started to say her mom’s name. But when she said the word police, my hands let up enough for Susie to squeak out that her father is a police officer and will come to the house if she doesn’t answer.

  Shit.

  I remember that moment with such clarity.

  The look in Barbie’s eyes repeated what she’d said to me before Susie arrived.

  If we get caught, I will never forgive you for this. She’d said. I’ll be waiting for you in hell and I’ll make you wish you’d never see me again.

  I panicked. I’ll admit it. I didn’t know what to do.

  I sat on the girl but I’d gone soft.

  The phone stopped ringing and Susie began to laugh.

  She laughed at us. At me. At how soft I’d become.

  The sweet innocent little girl was now a demon in disguise.

  Barbie started to freak out. She threw her clothes on, threw clothes at me and said we had to get out of here, that they’d catch us, that this wasn’t what Stacie had wanted.

  Susie looked at me with a challenge in her eyes as I continued to sit with my full weight on her.

  I leaned forward, placing more pressure on her throat.

  The challenge disappeared and it’s in place was panic.

  She whispered please, no, please as my hold tightened around her neck.

  Barbie watched before coming over and placing her hands on top of mine.

  For a moment, I thought she was going to force me to release my grip but instead, she squeezed down as if doing her part to help kill her.

  I whispered into Barbie’s ear, reminding her to catch her breath.

  She glanced down at my now growing cock.

  We didn’t have any time, we needed to get out of there if we were going to get away and yet I found myself getting harder by the second.

  And so we did it.

  Together.

  I fucked the girl.

  Barbie covered her mouth with her own, stealing her breath, breathing in her essence as I slowly killed her.

  We could hear the sirens in the distance as the light faded from Susie’s eyes.

  What was it like to have died knowing your salvation was so close at hand? I’ve always wondered that.

  By the time the cops were at our door we were in the kitchen.

  We hadn’t been able to make love to one another one last time like I’d hoped. Like we’d planned after each murder.

  Instead, I stood at the kitchen table while Barbie bled out from cutting her tongue out of her mouth.

  I was frozen. She’d destroyed me in the only way she knew how.

  She’d said words to me in that kitchen before grabbing the knife that I will never forget.

  I also won’t repeat them to you.

  That conversation was between us.

  Let’s just say that while I’m ready to die, I’m not ready to see her again.

  I hope she’s forgiven me. But I doubt she has.

  She blamed me for destroying Stacie’s memory.

  For fouling our moments with her.

  She blamed me for rushing, for not respecting her, for not listening to her.

  She blamed me for getting caught.

  She swore she would never tell a soul what we did. That it would stay within her, within her heart, her mind and her soul for the rest of her life.

  She swore t
he last words she would ever tell me were the words I never wanted to hear.

  She swore she’d see me in hell.

  It was all my fault. I’ve always admitted that.

  My fault for leaving with her that day.

  My fault for becoming addicted to her.

  My fault for wanting to make her happy.

  My fault for giving into her all the time.

  My fucking fault that she got hurt.

  My fucking fault that we got caught.

  And my fucking fault she died without hearing the words I love you from me one last time.

  15

  KEN TO JACK:

  * * *

  So there you have it.

  I’m a piece of work, aren’t I?

  I have regrets. Sure. I’ve already told you about them.

  They don’t need to be repeated.

  I’m an asshole. I know it.

  I’m going to die and my hell will consist of women who look exactly like Barbie but unable to love me.

  I don’t care about the girls we killed.

  I don’t care how that makes you feel.

  Wanna hate me? Go right ahead.

  Wish me to hell? Fine. I’m going there anyway.

  Now go.

  Leave me the fuck alone, Jack. I’m tired of seeing your face.

  Leave me the fuck alone.

  * * *

  Oh, wait. What day is it?

  Stacie died all those years ago today.

  Barbie died on this day too.

  Imagine that. I guess we’re both celebrating her death with our own death, aren’t we?

  16

  I walked over to Ken’s bed and played with his pump.

  I wanted him to think I was about to break my word and give him his next dosage.

  He could have stopped me considering his one hand was free.

  But he didn’t.

  He watched me with a look of resignation.

  It’s because of that look that I didn’t. Instead, I grabbed hold of his bed rail and leaned in close.

  “Do you know I was there with Barbie when she died?”

  His eyes widened.

  “I had to see her fucking stump of a tongue while she talked for fifteen minutes straight. Yep, you heard me. At the very end of her life, she woke up from her fucking two month coma.”

  Ken swallowed hard as his gaze filled with dread.

  “She had a message for you, Ken doll. Want to know what she said?”

  I couldn’t wait to tell him. The excitement pulsed through my veins.

  “She said, I’ll be waiting.”

  I let that sink in for a bit.

  Now that I knew the story, I understood what those words meant.

  I laughed.

  I continued to laugh as I left his room, dragging my chair behind him, knowing how grating the sound must be to him.

  I fucking laughed even louder the further I walked from his room.

  God, he was a piece of shit, wasn’t he?

  I can’t tell you the amount of times I wanted to smash his face in while he told me his story.

  The sad thing is that his story is nothing compared to some of the others I’ve heard.

  I work in an asylum for the criminally insane, remember?

  The floors below me are full of people just like Ken or worse.

  I can’t always stomach their stories. There’s a few I will not share. I debated whether or not to share this one and decided to edit out the really rough stuff.

  I need a hot shower now to clean myself off.

  When I left Ken, his hand was busy going at it with his junk.

  I’ll let Rene be the one to find him and clean him off.

  Do I think he’ll go through with it?

  Do I think he can honestly kill himself by willing it?

  Now that I know it’s the anniversary of both Barbie and Stacie’s death - yes.

  Like I said earlier, the mind is a power piece of equipment.

  * * *

  I waited till the end of Rene’s shift. I had him go down to check on Ken.

  There must have been something in my voice because Ike joined the kid.

  I should have gone too.

  After all, it was the kid’s first death on the ward.

  Instead, I took him to the bar afterward and got him plastered.

  Ike called his mom and said he was staying with buddies for the night.

  * * *

  Fuck. I guess this means I need to train Rene better so he can stick around. Once Ike takes to someone there’s no getting rid of him.

  * * *

  Do me a favor? If you know who I am, if you’ve figured out where I work…then you’ll know where my bar is. Come join me. Better yet, come to the bar while I’m on shift and put a beer on my tab will ya?

  Stick around if you want. The bartender knows my shifts. He’ll give you an idea of when I’ll be by. We can drink a round together and who knows, I might have more stories to tell.

  * * *

  See you then.

  More Confession Books?

  Hell yes.

  I’ve got notepads full of confessions.

  You sick fuck…if you want them, I’ll make them available. The more you buy the more beer I drink, so guess it’s a win-win.

  I’ve got a woman convicted of the deaths of babies - their bones were found at the bottom of a well.

  I’ve got a man who loves to keep women caged in his basement and they come out only to play ‘house’.

  I’ve got a couple with a fetish for babysitters.

  I’ve got a nanny serial killer who kills the whole family minus the youngest child.

  and more. Trust me, I’ve got lots.

  Keep an eye out for more confessions - they’re not in order so it don’t matter how you read them.

  Here’s a few out now (or soon)

  The Funeral Director

  The Babysitter

  The Nanny

  Mommy Dearest