by M. A. Owens
Buddy slammed his paw down on his desk, hard enough to send two pencils flying off the edge. "I'm not your pal, Trigger. If we were just pals, I wouldn't have hesitated to toss you in there with those other three. No, I respect you as a professional. If it wasn't for your work on putting Mr. B away, I wouldn't be listening to a word you had to say right now. I don't know what it is about you, Trigger. Maybe there's somethin' in the air, maybe I'm just feeling particularly foolish, but we'll go with your plan." I grinned and started to speak, but he raised his paw to stop me. "Even though I think what you did was idiotic. Even though I think you're risking too much by letting her walk away. Even though I'm confident we would have gotten Fernando anyways. Even though I think you take far too many liberties, cause me far too many headaches, and you're far more trouble than you're worth sometimes, you could be right," he continued, "as much as that pains me to say it."
I wanted to laugh, but thought it wise not to.
"Thank you for the clarification, Buddy, but I'll hold you to buying me breakfast when all this is over."
To my surprise, that got a chuckle out of him.
"I'll tell you what, Trigger. This crazy stunt, if you can pull it off, not only will I buy you breakfast but I also won't charge you as an accomplice in aiding and abetting a murderer. How's that sound, pal?"
"You are the embodiment of generosity. I won't let you down. However, I won't be able to do it without you."
He grinned. "I figured as much. That's why I blew my top in advance. Let's hear it."
"I'll start with what I wrote on that note I tossed Lady: 'Turns out everyone's in on it. Cops will be here any second to arrest Hans and crew. This was Fernando's plan to get rid of all of you. Bringing in the Grand Gobbler at ten tomorrow night to the back room of the Swindler's Den. Be my guest in killing each other over it.'"
Buddy tilted his head. "You were never one with words, Trigger. Don't you think that's a little on the nose?"
"Not really. I seem to recall you believing that I was helping her at first. Besides, she's come out on top in almost every encounter. She even took down her rivals and escaped the cops in broad daylight yesterday. She feels emboldened. Probably intends to betray my gesture and take me out tomorrow, along with Fernando. Then, there you go, all loose ends tied up. No more threats. I think from where she stands it's too good a payoff not to gamble."
"Sure, maybe. Get to the part where I come in," he said.
"I'm sure you know all about the Swindler's Den. There's a bar out in the front lobby. I want you to send three of your biggest, strongest plainclothes there. Have two of them order drinks. Have the other browse through the goods and ask a lot of stupid questions. There's a restaurant across the street. Have two of your officers pose as a married couple on a dinner date. Use two that are really married if you can. The more convincing the better. Assume that anyone in the area might rat us out. Across from the back alley, which is the entrance I expect she'll try to escape from if she can, is a small grocer. Send another couple in their shortly before ten. I want your fastest runner watching this back alley from as far away as he can see it and no closer. Make sure everyone's watches are synced perfectly. When that second hand touches five minutes past ten, I want everyone to rush that room at once. No one in that place will be a friend, so don't worry about taking it easy on anyone that 'accidentally' gets in the way."
"Looks like you might actually still be a cop at heart. All right, seems reasonable enough. I'll head the operation myself. What about you?"
"I'll be taking that statue there myself."
"Is that necessary? Why not just let her think you'll be there and stay out of danger?"
"Lady may be bold, but she's still cautious. She sees something that doesn't add up, she'll bail. She'll be watching, and if she sees me coming with the statue, it will give her the confidence she needs to take the chance."
"You're taking a big risk here. Sounds like you're gambling too much, putting yourself in that room with the two of them and the statue." He paused, as though he'd just realized something, and shook his head. "All right, I know how pointless saying that to you is. You've been at this just as long as I have, so you don't need me to explain the risks. If that's how you want this to go, that's how it'll go."
He waved his paw toward the door, ushering me out.
"Thanks, Buddy," I replied.
As I grabbed the door, Buddy stood up from his chair and walked over.
"Good hunting."
He held out his paw and we shook. Now it was time to pay Rick a visit.
When I arrived I noticed several other business owners were there, likely ready to exaggerate their concern and offer their well wishes in the hopes of earning major brownie points. A journalist from the Arc Daily was on her way out as I went in. The receptionist out front recognized me this time as soon as she looked up and saw me.
"Oh, Mr. Trigger. Rick said you would probably come by soon and wanted me to tell you he'd see you shortly. Give me a moment to notify him so he can wrap up his current meeting."
She buzzed his office. "Mr. Rick, the detective is here to see you."
"Thanks, tell him I'll see him in five."
I leaned back in my seat and slipped my hat over my face. Five minutes might not sound like a lot for a nap, but I was exhausted.
"Excuse me."
I ignored the voice beside me at first, but the next time it came with a gentle tug at my sleeve.
"Excuse me. I'm sorry to disturb you, but is your name really Trigger?"
I slid my hat back up my face and eyed the young cat beside me. "Yeah, that's right," I grunted.
I started to push my hat down my face again, but this time I was interrupted before it made it over my eyes.
"The private detective?"
I was alert now. I slipped my paw inside my coat and rested it on the old reliable shock stick. Needed to get that thing fixed soon.
"The one and only. Well, as far as I know."
"I thought I recognized you..." He choked up, and cleared his throat before continuing. "My father passed away not too long ago and left me our family business. I'd helped him run it since I was a kitten. Mr. B's lackeys came by and demanded higher payments. We were just about to close the business when we heard they had arrested him. I went to the trial and saw how you testified and how he reacted. I did a little asking around and folks in the know credited you with taking him down. I wanted to thank you."
He held out his paw and I shook it. It was funny. Here he was sitting in the building of a dog who deserved more credit than me, and I couldn't even say so.
"Don't mention it, kid. Glad to hear it made your life a little easier, and you kept your business."
"Actually, that's why I'm here to see Rick. We're looking to sell. This is a canning business and I thought it might interest him in having the business to prevent waste. See, fresh strawberries don't last long. If you manage to can them before they go bad, you can use them in things like jellies years later."
Three cats walked out of Rick's office and slammed the door behind them. They didn't look happy. His secretary stepped in for a moment, then came back out.
"Mr. Trigger, Rick will see you now."
I gave the cat beside me a pat on the shoulder. "Good luck, kid."
I went into Rick's office and closed the door behind me.
"What was that all about?"
"Oh, you mean those cats? They want me to support their political organization, the Feline Liberation Party. I'm a businessman. I need to stay out of politics, but between you and me, these guys are dangerous and they'll cause problems down the road if I don't... nevermind. What brings you here?"
"I'm here about the statue. I ended up tracking down the head honcho that both Fernando and Lady were trying to get it for. It's a long story, and I'm still trying to get all the details straight myself. I'll fill you in on everything later if I come out in one piece. I need the statue ready tomorrow for easy transport by me, preferably in so
me kind of rolling luggage box thing. You know the thing I'm talking about?"
He grinned. He was still in the wheelchair, but he seemed to be in less pain.
"Sure, I can arrange that for you. I'll have one of my security dogs deliver it to you in time for you to get there."
"Thanks, Rick. Wish me luck."
"Let's hope you don't need it."
29
I was expecting a hulking mass of muscle to show up outside my hotel to hand over the Grand Gobbler. Instead, it was a skinny poodle dame wearing glasses. Guess I should've expected that with Rick. Hide in plain sight.
She had a bag thrown over her shoulder that looked like dry cleaning. The rolling luggage box drew no attention at all; it looked like more dry cleaning. She waved at me when she got closer, whistling a tune I didn't recognize.
"Oh, hey, detective! Here's that thing you asked for."
"Thank you, ma'am. Have a nice night," I replied.
I wanted to stop her and ask if she knew what was in this box, but thought better of it.
As I began my walk to the Swindler's Den, I felt a strange sense of calm. I thought of Constance, the cat that was murdered at my door. I was glad Benjamin wised up and backed off, or he'd have ended up the same way.
I tried not to look around too much. I knew Lady was watching me, and she could take the Gobbler whenever she chose. Wouldn't be anything I could do about it. No, I was counting on the fact that Lady would be out for revenge against Fernando. If she let me deliver the statue, she'd have him off guard.
When I arrived to the back door, I didn't bother to knock. I opened it up and walked in like I owned the place. There were three cats standing around a circular table at the center of the room, a pile of assorted valuables sitting on top. One spoke up as soon as I closed the door behind me.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Friend of Fernando's. Got something for him."
"Don't we all? We're a little busy tonight, so why don't you get outta here and come back tomorrow."
"Afraid not. It's important."
The cat's lip twitched and he dug his claws into the table as he leaned toward me.
"You can either take whatever's in that box and go somewhere else or we'll do it for you, little dog."
I said nothing. I reached down and opened the latches on the box. I lifted the lid.
"I wonder what Fernando will say when he finds out I sold the Grand Gobbler somewhere else at your request?"
His expression changed instantly. "The Grand-" he interrupted himself, rushing over to look into the box. "Wait here. Don't move."
He was gone less than a minute before returning with Fernando. Fernando signaled for everyone to leave and greeted me.
"Hello, Mr. Trigger. I was just told that you have the Grand Gobbler with you. Surely he misunderstood you."
I pointed to the box. "He understood me just fine."
His eyes grew wide. "You mean..."
He froze for a few seconds, his breathing becoming faster. A moment later he broke from his trance and jumped up to the table, taking his arm and pushing everything off onto the floor. All manner of gold jewelry, cash, and other valuables hit the floor and rolled to all corners of the room. I took the cue and pulled the statue out of the box, placing it on the table. He took a deep breath before pulling the sack off. When he saw it, he placed both paws over his mouth, as though he'd just reunited with a best friend he thought long dead.
He looked to me and his eyes narrowed. "Detective, how did you get this?"
"Easy, actually. I retraced Rico's steps. I thought to myself about what I might do if I'm running away with a heavy statue like this and my pursuer is gaining on me. Then it hit me. I'd toss it in a dumpster or a can before they caught up and then try to use the extra speed to get away. I could come back later and get it once I was safe. It turns out that's exactly what he did. I found it in the dumpster just a couple of turns before where their fight happened," I lied.
"Genius, Mr. Trigger. You truly are a remarkable sleuth." He picked up the statue and turned it over, noticing the hole drilled into the bottom. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You've damaged it, but nothing that can't be fixed. I can have something like this repaired easily. It will affect the value very little."
"Don't worry too much about that, Fernando. With it being a fake and all, I don't think it'll devalue it by much."
He looked it over and looked back to me before a smile appeared on his face. "Oh, you mean because of the tungsten core?"
"That's right."
He laughed hysterically. "Oh, Mr. Trigger. You really know how to give a cat a good chuckle!"
This confused me. I half expected him to blow a fuse when he saw the tungsten. Instead, he reacted like... this.
"I'm not sure I follow," I said. This situation was taking a turn.
"Oh, you don't. Let me ask you this: why would having a tungsten core prove this was not the original?"
"Because the original was solid gold?"
"Wrong! Isn't that funny? The Grand Gobbler was never solid gold. It always had the tungsten core. Common idiots who assume too much started those rumors. When it first arrived, it was common knowledge, but rumor always takes the upper paw I guess. Rather than make a point of disproving it, any of us who knew the truth used this rumor as a tool for getting the statue. Someone, like you, would inadvertently find it. Then their own inquisitiveness would work against them. If they drilled, they'd discover the tungsten and discount it as a clever fraud, landing it right into the paws of one who knows better. Me. Funny how these things go according to plan," Fernando explained through a devilish smile.
"What about Constance?"
"What about her?"
"Was that according to plan?"
"It was."
I glanced down at my watch. Still two more minutes until ten o'clock. "You don't say?"
"Don't bother trying to play it cool, detective. I know how upset it must make you to hear that. Constance was some filthy cat I found in your disgusting district. I told her if she delivered it she could come work for me here. I wasn't lying. I'd have hired her if she managed to get out of such an impossible situation. I knew who Lady and Agatha were before I ever went there. I made sure Lady could get a good look at her and could follow her easily. I carefully planned her timing and delivery so she'd at least make it to your apartment. I never could've imagined it would work out so well. She made it all the way to your door, and Lady didn't get the letter off her. It gave you a jump start. I knew your reputation and I was working for Mr. B when he finally caught onto you. I knew if I could put you on the right path you'd take care of all of them for me and then deliver to me what you thought was a fake. By tomorrow, I'll be long gone from here before your cop friends start looking, and there'll be no more Hans and his attack cats and no more Lady and Agatha. Detective, thank you. You have lived up to all of my expectations. As a reward, I'll allow you to leave here with your life. I know you were expecting financial compensation, but as you can plainly see, you're in no position to demand it. Farewell, Detective Trigger."
"No thanks. I think I'll hang around. I enjoy hearing you talk." I looked at my watch again. Ten o'clock.
His smile faded. "Why do you keep checking your watch like that?"
Before I answered, the handle turned on the back door. Like clockwork.
Time seemed to slow down to an agonizing crawl. Even though I knew who it was, it didn't make it any easier. I hoped Fernando and I could talk ourselves out of death for a long five minutes.
Lady walked inside, hood on, the weapon tucked under her arm with the casual stance you might use to carry an umbrella out of the house when you were expecting rain. Fernando froze and glanced toward the door leading to the front lobby.
"You won't make it. To the door, I mean. You'd be dead before you touched it. Dead before you hit the floor. May as well stay right where you are," Lady demanded. She walked over and picked up the statue. "There it is. You know,
the detective must really hate you to do this. He could've let the cops try to get me yesterday, but he let me go. I'd have gotten away regardless, but it's the thought that counts. Isn't he just a sweetheart? He let me go all so I could come here, take the statue, and we could kill each other. Isn't that right, detective? Though, that will only be half true. I'll make it away with the statue just fine. Though, I must kill you both. I can be clever, sure, but not compared to the two of you. You fooled me once already, Trigger. Shame on me. And you, Fernando, well, I just don't like you. I'm afraid I can't take the chance of leaving either of you to your plotting."
I looked down at my watch. Three minutes past ten. This wasn't good. There wouldn't be time.
"Wait! You really think I'd bring the real statue here just so you could kill me? If you want to know where the real one is, I'm afraid you'll have to keep me alive."
She grinned. "A fake, huh? Looks exactly the same as the one I had recently."
"Look at it for yourself."
She obliged, picking up the statue and turning it over, examining every angle.
"Other than the hole you drilled in it, it's the same statue. It's pointless. Did you really think I'd be so stupid as to not recognize the statue I held in my own paws?"
I looked down at my watch. Four minutes past.
"Don't you want to know why I warned you away yesterday?" I asked.
"No, Trigger, I don't. I want to know what it sounds like when I bring this steel down on your skull."
She brought out her bar and I glanced at my watch. I had to make it a few more seconds. I dove under the table as the bar came down. It shattered the table in half. I rolled between her legs, but it was the end of the line. I was a detective, not a martial artist. I only hoped she'd have some last words for me. Luckily, she did.
