Cook the Books

by Jessica Conant-Park

  “Nah, Ade and Patrick are fine. Look, Chloe,” Owen said, running his hands through his dark hair, “I came to talk to you about Josh.”

  “No you don’t!” I reached for the door handle, but Owen hit the automatic lock button. “Are you seriously keeping me hostage?”

  “Yes. Just hear me out.”

  I crossed my arms and sulked. “Fine. What is it?”

  “He really wants to talk to you, and he says that you won’t take his calls and that you brushed him off at the Penthouse’s opening.”

  “Why would I want to talk to him, Owen? He’s part of my past, and I’m trying really hard to move on, but no one will let me!” I held back tears.

  “First of all, he’s really worried about this Kyle that you’re working for. He says this guy is a total jerk.”

  “Yeah, what the hell is his problem with Kyle, anyway? He certainly can’t be jealous! Besides, I don’t care what Josh thinks.”

  “Maybe this is just an excuse for Josh to be in touch with you, but he wanted me to tell you that he and Digger went to culinary school with Kyle, so he knows more about Kyle than you think.”

  What? Kyle had never once mentioned that he’d gone to culinary school. Yes, he’d said that he’d gone to school briefly in Boston, but he certainly hadn’t said a thing about culinary school, and he hadn’t told me that he’d known Digger. I couldn’t remember whether I’d mentioned Josh’s last name when we’d discussed Simmer, but Digger was another matter entirely. There weren’t all that many Diggers in the world to begin with, and a guy named Digger who was a Boston chef? I was willing to bet that there’d been only one, and I couldn’t believe that Kyle had failed to reveal his connection. Furthermore, as I’d learned on the night when I’d cooked with Ade, Owen, and Kyle, the famous chef’s son couldn’t even cook! As for his taste buds, practically every dish we’d tried during our restaurant outings had tasted good to him; even when food was mediocre or downright awful, he thought that it was just fine. “Oh. Well, I didn’t know that Kyle had gone to school with Josh. And so what if Josh doesn’t like Kyle? Big deal.”

  “He misses you, Chloe. Josh really misses you.”

  “No.” I shook my head and looked straight ahead. “No, he doesn’t. He’s fooling around with Snacker’s girlfriend, Georgie. I saw them together the other night.” I sniffed and forced a smile. “So how are you doing? What’s been going on at your house?”

  “Smooth change of subject there,” Owen said. “But I’ll let it go for now. The truth is that things are sort of tough. The fish business blows, and I promised Adrianna that I’d look online for another job. In fact, that’s where I’m headed now. There just has to be something more reliable than this. I really thought that I could make this work, you know? I thought that by now I’d have a bunch of regular restaurants that would give me all of their business and that I’d be making fat commissions off all of them.” He shrugged and looked solemn and disturbingly un-Owen-like.

  “I’m sure you’ll find something soon. Who wouldn’t want to hire you? You’ve got tons of experience in so many areas,” I said, trying to put a positive spin on Owen’s erratic work history.

  “We’ll see. Adrianna and Patrick are going to be gone for a while tonight, so I’ll really be able to concentrate on this job search. It’s hard to pay attention when my beautiful wife and entertaining son are around.”

  “Where is Ade going? I could watch Patrick for you guys if you need me,” I offered.

  “Thanks, but she’s going to a clothing swap set up by her online mothers’ group. I guess they’re meeting at one of the mom’s houses for a potluck. Ade has a big bag of clothes that Patrick has already outgrown, but mostly I think she’s getting out of the house to make me stick to my job hunt. She knows me too well.” He laughed and then turned serious again. “I feel like I’m letting her down.”

  I leaned over and gave Owen a hug. “She adores you, Owen, and you could never let her down. Never.”

  “Thanks, Chloe. I love her, too.”

  “I know you do.” I kissed Owen on the cheek and stepped out of the truck. “You better get off to that job search, mister.”

  “Hey,” he started, “please think about talking to Josh. I think you’re blowing things here. He is still in love with you, Chloe.”

  “Tough!” I shut the door.

  “And you’re in love with him!” Owen called out the window as I walked away. “You know you are!”

  “Shut up, Owen!” I laughed over my shoulder. He meant well, but he wasn’t doing much to bolster the supposedly independent-woman theme I had going.

  I was wiped out. When I reached my condo, I immediately yanked off my mental-health-professional clothes and pulled on cozy sweatpants and thick socks. I was going to hunker down in front of Thursday-night television and work my way through a carton of ice cream. I rooted through my dresser for a top and pulled out the first one I got my hands on, a worn red T-shirt. Seeing what I’d yanked out at random, I pressed the tattered shirt to my face as my eyes welled up. The T-shirt was Josh’s. I’d forgotten that I still had it. I inhaled deeply, hoping that a trace of him still lingered on the shirt, but it just smelled like laundry detergent. I knew I should have shoved it back into the dresser or, better yet, thrown it in the trash, but I pulled it over my head, wrapped my arms around my chest, and hugged the fabric against me.

  I flipped on the computer, sat on the bed, and checked Facebook. I’d been out of the Facebook loop for a long time; I’d barely checked in since Josh had left. Despite having blocked all of his attempts to contact me, I hadn’t had the heart to remove him from my list of friends. I clicked on his name and saw my chef’s profile picture, a gorgeous shot of him with a ridiculously perfect ocean behind him, a photo obviously taken in Hawaii. His tanned face smiled at me, and I stuck my tongue out at him. When I browsed through a bunch of photos from Hawaii, it seemed to me that he had been having a jolly good time there frolicking on the beach with new friends, slinging back drinks on a lanai, and snorkeling off a boat in stupendous waters. Ugh, and there were lots of stupid, bikini-clad bronze goddesses in the pictures. I scoffed at the photos but felt pasty and bloated at the sight of those girls.

  When my cell rang, I haphazardly picked it up. “Hello?” I said, still staring at a glistening Josh emerging from the water after his first attempt at surfing.

  “Chloe, it’s Kyle.”

  I decided right away that I’d make no mention of the nastiness with his father. If Kyle wanted to bring it up, I’d certainly be there for him, but I was in no mood to exercise my social-work skills. “Hey, Kyle.”

  “Hey yourself. Do you want to try another restaurant tonight? I found this great- looking Cajun place tucked between an all-night laundromat and a goth bar.”

  “That sounds great,” I lied, “but could we do it another night? I’ve got so much schoolwork to catch up on.” Truthfully, I didn’t feel like spending another night out at a bad restaurant. Kyle just didn’t seem to know how to pick good ones. But our project was evidently still on.

  “Of course. I know I’ve been asking for a lot of your time lately. Maybe Adrianna is free? And Owen, of course? They might like to have dinner out.”

  “That’s a great idea,” I murmured as I glared at a photo of Josh in between two brunettes. “It’s really generous. But I just talked to Owen, and Ade is taking Patrick to some moms’ group tonight, and Owen is chained to the computer to look for a new job.”

  “He’s giving up on the seafood business?” Kyle asked.

  “Apparently. If he can find something better, which at this point could be almost anything.” I paused. “Your father can’t go with you?” I suggested tentatively.

  “My father is having dinner with someone else tonight.” He dropped the name of a very famous Food Network chef. I was duly impressed.

  “You weren’t invited?”

  “No, I wasn’t.” Kyle couldn’t hide his bitterness. “Anyway, I think I’ll go out and try t
his place by myself. If it’s worth it, then maybe you’ll come back with me another night?”

  “Definitely.”

  “Now, you sure I can’t lure you away from work? A little gumbo? Creole? Etouffée?”

  I had no appetite for anything but soothing ice cream right now. “Sorry. But another night, I promise. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  I hung up and clicked back to Josh’s profile page. One of my favorite things about Facebook is being able to see what friends are doing. When Facebook offers me the fill- in-the-blank opportunity to tell people what I’m up to myself-Chloe followed by a space to enter whatever I like-I usually update my status by supplying silly things like “Chloe is considering buying a BeDazzler so she can stud all her clothes with rhinestones” or “Chloe is wondering why she has the theme from Superman running through her head.”

  Josh’s status had been updated twenty minutes earlier: “Josh is still missing her.”

  My cell rang again. I figured that Kyle was calling back to reel off more Cajun cooking terms and repeat his invitation to go out. I was wrong.

  “You picked up this time,” Josh said.

  “It was an accident.” I clicked off his profile and hit the Status Updates button, the one that let me know what all of my online friends were doing at that Facebook moment.

  “What are you doing right now?” he asked.

  “Looking through Facebook. Isn’t that exciting? My life is terribly scintillating. No wonder you moved to Hawaii.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  Both of us were silent, but I stared at the computer screen as Josh’s status update changed:

  Josh is on the phone with the most beautiful girl in the world.

  Josh is sorry. He made a huge mistake.

  Josh is outside a brown house in Brighton.

  Josh is walking up her back stairs.

  Josh is hoping against hope that she’ll let him inside.

  Josh is totally and completely in love.

  My hands started to shake. I walked slowly from the bedroom into the living room and looked down at the floor for a moment before lifting my head to the window on the back door. Josh waved his BlackBerry at me. I dropped my phone.

  Josh and I locked eyes, and I rushed forward and opened the door. It didn’t matter to me at all that I had on crummy clothes or that my hair was in a ratty ponytail or that I was wearing his old shirt-in a desperate attempt to feel close to him. He stepped inside, putting his body inches from mine, and shut the door behind him.

  Josh slid an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “I love you,” he breathed. Everything became blurry as he slowly kissed me.

  I pulled back slightly. “I don’t love you,” I said, and then took his face in my hands and kissed him hard.

  “But I still love you,” he whispered, walking me backward toward the bedroom.

  “But I still don’t love you,” I whispered back, smiling and fumbling to pull off his shirt. “I don’t love you at all.”

  NINETEEN

  A good hour later, I rolled onto my side while Josh held me in his arms and kissed my shoulder. It felt as if no time had passed since the last time we’d made love, but I was keenly aware that everything was different now.

  “Josh?”

  “Yeah, babe,” he said as he ran soft kisses across my skin.

  “What about Georgie?” I shut my eyes, waiting for his answer.

  “What do you mean?”

  I sighed and scooted away. “I know you’re together, Josh. You and Georgie.”

  Josh rolled me onto my back and laughed. “Have you totally lost your mind since I’ve been gone?”

  My expression became serious. “Actually, yes.”

  He hung his head. “I’m sorry. But what would give you the idea that I’m with Snacker’s girlfriend? I talked to Owen before I called you, and he told me that you had this crazy notion that I’d hooked up with that girl. There is no truth to that idea whatsoever.” Josh slid his body on top of mine and brushed the hair from my face. “None at all.”

  “But I saw you two together. Last Friday.” I didn’t particularly want to reveal that I’d been hiding behind a potted plant, spying on him. “I just happened to be coming out of the ladies’ room when you told her how hot she was. Not that she isn’t, but…”

  “You nut!” Josh said with a smile. “Didn’t you notice that a lot of the food that night was lukewarm when it got to the table?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I was taking Georgie and all the other servers to task for ruining the food. They were all so incompetent. They kept letting the plates sit too long before taking them to the tables.”

  “Oh.” I gazed into his blue eyes and gently ran my hand down his back. “So you’re not interested in Georgie?”

  “God no. There is only one woman I’m interested in, Chloe.”

  “Oh,” I said again.

  “But you’re right about one thing. Georgie is not above cheating on Snacker.”

  “I know. Digger, right?”

  “Yeah. How’d you know that?”

  “That was another conversation that I happened to overhear.”

  “My, you heard a lot that night, didn’t you?” Josh teased. “I can tell you that Digger wasn’t the only guy she was cheating on Snacker with. I never thought Snacker would be the faithful one in a relationship, but he seems really into her. I feel bad for him, although he’s probably earned it after all the messing around he’s done in his life.”

  “You don’t think… you don’t think that Snacker could have…” I started.

  “No. Snacker did not kill Digger.” Josh shook his head.

  “Did Snacker know that his girlfriend was having an affair with Digger, his close friend? No one-not even Snacker, who has his own knack for philandering-would like that.”

  “I can’t believe that he would ever do something so gruesome. He loved Digger, just like I did.”

  “He did benefit from Digger’s death, though. He got the executive chef job at the Penthouse.”

  “I hate to admit it, but Snacker’s not the most honest, upright person I know, and yes, he did need the money. But that’s all.”

  “Do you know he stole some of your recipes? You couldn’t have missed the spring rolls he put on the menu. He thought you’d be in Hawaii and you’d never know.”

  “No, no.” Josh shook his head. “Snacker didn’t steal my recipes. After Digger died, Snacker asked me to help him with the menu. I gave him a ton of help, so of course the menu had my mark on it. I don’t mind if I give my permission, so it’s not like he was being sneaky or anything. Besides, after the opening, Snacker told me that he couldn’t handle being the executive chef there. He’s going to step down as soon as they find a replacement. He’s not ready, and he knows it. He never wanted that job, Chloe.”

  “Good. What about Digger’s girlfriend, Ellie? After all, Digger betrayed her with her best friend. She did seem totally devoted to him.”

  “Hmm.” Josh rolled off me and propped himself up on his elbow while he traced a finger over my stomach. “That’s actually a possibility.”

  “I was the one who had to tell Ellie about Digger’s death, and she took it really hard. She was genuinely upset and heartbroken. She asked me to call Georgie. Ellie was obviously on good terms with her friend then. Or she was pretending to be. I know that she went through Digger’s e-mail after he died, but she could have done the same thing before his death and found out that he was cheating on her with Georgie. I think she took Digger’s laptop from his apartment after the fire,” I said, remembering the clean, soot- free outline that I’d seen on the desk. “When she told me that she hadn’t been there, she lied.”

  “She’s a better suspect than Snacker, that’s for sure. Listen, Chloe,” Josh said, turning my face to his. “I have to talk to you about Kyle. I don’t know how involved you are with him, but-”

  “I’m not involved with him at all, Josh. Not like that. I’m just his co
okbook assistant.”

  “Really? That’s a relief. I thought you two were…”

  “I guess that’s what I wanted you to think.” I was not about to confess that I had, in fact, made an idiotic play for Kyle and been rebuffed. “It’s just that after you left, well, I was pissed. Actually, I’m still pissed. This,” I said, waving a finger between us, “is the result of temporary insanity.”

  “Don’t say that. Please don’t say this is temporary.” Josh leaned down and kissed my stomach, and I let him work his way up to my lips.

  “Last August you were only thinking about yourself and what you wanted. You didn’t stop and think about what leaving would mean for me. You left me, Josh. Don’t forget that.” I might have been talking tough, but I felt anything but.

  “I left, yes, but I didn’t mean to leave you. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s true. And I wasn’t thinking about myself. Okay, not just about myself. I really thought you’d want to come with me. The couple I work for put me up in this great guesthouse, I looked up a program where you could have kept going to school, and I just… I don’t know. I thought after the year we’d had that maybe it would be good to get away for a while. To go somewhere where we could just relax and enjoy each other. But you just said no so quickly… I screwed up, Chloe. I really screwed up.”

  “It was escaping, Josh. That’s all it was. Going to Hawaii meant avoiding everything here instead of tackling problems head-on. How were things supposed to become normal if we ran off?”

  “Babe, what’s wrong with escaping once in a while?”

  It was true that Josh had had good reason to escape. Josh and I had been madly in love, so that part of my year had been great, but chaos had sullied much of our time together. Its principal source had been his work. As a chef, he’d worked hideously long hours in return for terrible pay and little appreciation. Most of all, he’d had all-around crummy bosses.

  “I didn’t know that you’d looked into schools for me,” I said. “But you wanted me to just up and leave my life here! Leave Ade, Owen, and Patrick…” I trailed off. Adrianna had pointed out to me that, as much as they loved me, they could certainly function without me. “I mean, I have responsibilities here. I have school. I have… I have responsibilities. Big responsibilities. Of all sorts!”