A Better Man

by Candis Terry

  “For now. But we both know distance does not make the heart grow fonder. It makes it more difficult. So isn’t it easier to say good-­bye now before things go any further?”

  “Why do you think we’ll say good-­bye at all?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “Not to me.” He slammed his hands down on his hips. Now she was pissing him off.

  “We’re too different,” she said, sidestepping his remark. “We run our lives completely the opposite. And . . . it’s also a good idea to keep our time together just between us.”

  “Why?” And now she didn’t even want anyone to know? What the hell? “Do I embarrass you?”

  “I’m thinking about Nicole. After all, I’m her teacher. It might make things uncomfortable for her if anyone at school found out. And your sister is already going through enough.”

  “And that’s the only reason?”

  “No.” Her jaw twitched. “Other than you, no one in Sunshine knows anything about my personal life. I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “Seeing me has already thrust you in the spotlight.”

  Her lips tightened. “No one in Sunshine is going to read a paper from all the way across the country.”

  “The paper has an Internet site, and I’m sorry for that. But I don’t see why it should make you doubt us.”

  Her shoulders lifted with a sigh. “You don’t understand.”

  “Then make me understand.” He tossed his hands up. “Because right now I’m confused as hell.”

  She looked away. When her gaze came back to him, he could see the shadows from the past emerge.

  “When I went through the divorce my name was dragged through the mud. His family hired the biggest, baddest attorney in town—­who also happened to be a close family friend. The man made me look ridiculous. Like I asked for the abuse because if I hadn’t liked it I wouldn’t have stayed with him for so long. It was like the rape cases you hear about where, because a woman wears a short skirt, she’s asking for it. The judge also happened to be a close family friend so I was in a lose-­lose situation.”

  Jordan never understood how that could happen in a court of law—­how a victim could be made to look like the one at fault or how a judge wouldn’t be recused because he knew the players in the case and couldn’t be impartial. When she put it in those terms he began to understand a little more what she’d gone through. And he got a big clue that maybe for Lucy, this really wasn’t about how much he had going on, but more about how his life operated in the limelight.

  “People called me a liar. They said I was making up stories just so I could get a big divorce settlement. I didn’t want money; I just wanted my life and my dignity back. I didn’t want to see my name in the newspapers anymore. It took me a long time before I regained my confidence and could look people in the eye again. I walked away with a suitcase of clothes and a hefty bill from my attorney. But I can tell you that no amount of money I might have received would have made up for what I’d been through.”

  “Jesus, Lucy. Who was this guy you were married to? Didn’t you ever file a police report?”

  “Who would have believed me?”

  “No one? Not even your mother?”

  “My mother and I haven’t spoken in years. Her life revolves around cigarettes and a bottle of her poison of choice. If she never came to my defense when I was a kid, how could I ever hope she’d do so now?”

  “I’m sorry, Lucy.”

  “You have enough on your plate, Jordan. You don’t need to be worrying about me.” She closed her eyes. “Devote your time to your career and your family. They need you.”

  “What about you?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Then what about what I need?” He clasped her arms. “I need you, Lucy.”

  “Jordan.” She turned her head. When she faced him again there were tears in her eyes. “Please. This is the way it has to be.”

  Jordan dropped his hands.

  Inside he was absolutely ripped apart; devastated that she didn’t have enough confidence in him—­in them—­to see things through.

  When she leaned in and kissed his cheek his heart shattered in a million pieces.

  On Saturday morning Jordan woke up in the bed at his grandfather’s cabin in a foul mood. Last night he and Nicole had dropped Lucy off at her house on their way home. After he’d gone inside to check and make sure there were no bogeymen hiding in her closets, he’d wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her good-­bye, but she’d kept enough distance between them to make that impossible. Unless he’d tackled her. Which, as bad as his heart ached, had been a possibility.

  On the flight home she’d sat at the back of the plane with Nicole, listening to a new song his sister was working on. When the music ended, the two of them put their heads together and chatted about this and that, completely excluding him. He was sure that, once again, he’d be the bad guy. A fact proven when he drove Nicki up to the main house, carried her bag inside, and was given a snippy “Thanks” for his efforts. He didn’t know how the hell he kept getting himself in that predicament but apparently all those penalty minutes he’d racked up during the games had leftover karma.

  A nasty one at that.

  After two strong cups of coffee he wandered over toward the main house to sit down with his brothers and go over the newest details of the missing money and exactly who was going to live in the house with Nicole until she went off to college.

  When hopefully she went off to college.

  On his way to the house he walked up and down a few rows of vines. The first buds had started to appear and the ground was moist from the early morning rain. He walked up to the event center and went inside. Any signs of the night he’d taken Lucy to the prom had long ago been cleaned up, removed, and delivered back to the high school. But even with everything gone, he could still picture her in that lovely gown, looking up at him as he danced with her in his arms.

  Presently there was a full staff decorating tables with blue and purple flowers and peacock feathers for an afternoon wedding reception. A large white tent was being constructed outside to keep the wedding party and guests dry from the light rain that had been predicted for the afternoon.

  Usually he never paid attention to things like weddings. For some reason the sight of one being set up on his family property coiled around his heart. The only one of them who had tied the knot or even gotten close had been Ryan. None of them ever thought Laura was the right woman for their oldest brother, and she’d proven them all correct. Still, they’d supported Ryan a hundred percent before the wedding and after she skipped town.

  Jordan had never thought much about marriage other than he figured it would eventually happen someday. He’d never gotten the right feeling for or from a woman.

  Until Lucy.

  It hadn’t been even twenty-­four hours and he already missed her so much it ached deep in his chest.

  He needed to keep walking. Find something to distract him from fighting the need to go over to her house and kiss some sense into her.

  With his hands on his hips he took a good look at the property—­the rolling hills, the creek, the rows upon rows of grapevines, the buildings in need of updating. What he saw was potential. There were so many ways they could make this a destination instead of an afterthought.

  While he’d been on the plane last night with no one to talk to except Ziggy, who’d abandoned him as soon as Lucy called his name, he’d made notes about investigating wine production in the area. A few new local winery tour companies had sprouted up, and he wondered if Sunshine Creek was on their map. He’d have to make sure he asked Ryan. Wine-­tasting tours were a great way to bring in revenue.

  When he opened the front door to his parents’ house, Ryan, Declan, and Ethan were already settled around the dining room table with a carafe of coffee in the
middle and various breakfast pastries piled up on a plate. The acid from the two cups of coffee Jordan had drunk clawed at the empty pit of his stomach. He figured what the hell and grabbed two bear claws before he poured another mug.

  “Dieting again?” Declan smirked. “Or drowning your sorrows in sugar?”

  Jordan looked up. His brother couldn’t possibly know that Lucy had kicked his ass to the curb.

  “Exactly what sorrows would I have to drown? Our team is one step away from the playoffs.”

  “And you’re front-­page news too. Gee, aren’t you lucky.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Ryan shoved the newspaper in his direction. When Jordan picked up the Talk of the Town and read the headline his blood pressure blew through the roof.

  KINCADE HOT FOR TEACHER?

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” He couldn’t believe the North Carolina article had made it to front-­page news in the local trash paper. “This is bullshit.”

  Lucy’s worst-­case scenario had transpired.

  “Is it?” Ryan lifted his cup of coffee and looked at Jordan over the rim.

  Arms folded, Ethan asked, “Does this have anything to do with your tux-­wearing apology?”

  “I don’t want to talk about my personal business.” Jaw tight, Jordan bit off a piece of bear claw and nearly choked on the glob of sugary icing.

  “Too damn bad,” Parker said as he came into the room. “You start making trouble around here, you have to answer to us.”

  “How the hell did I start trouble?” He shoved the rest of the pastry into a napkin, wrapped it up, and squeezed it in his hand. “I merely asked Nicole’s favorite teacher to come along because I thought she could help watch Nicki while I worked and maybe she could help her out with her assignments too.”

  Parker laughed. “That’s the lamest bullshit story I’ve ever heard.”

  “What do you want me to say? That I took Lucy along for my own personal reasons?”

  United, his brothers said, “Yes.”

  “Okay.” He wiped the sugar from his fingers with another paper napkin. “I’ll admit it was half and half.”

  “And are you hot for teacher?”

  “If you’re worried about Ms. Diamond’s character, don’t. She’s too smart for that.”

  “Meaning?” Declan’s eyebrows jacked up his forehead.

  “Meaning whatever I thought we might have had, she showed me the error of my thinking.”

  “Stop dancing around.” Parker poured himself a cup of coffee. “What the hell happened?”

  “Are you asking out of genuine concern?” Jordan asked. “Or are you just being nosy?”

  “Nosy,” Declan admitted.

  “Gee. Just when I was starting to love you again you go and get nasty.”

  “Did she dump you? Is that what crawled up your butt this morning?”

  Fuuuuck. He did not want to talk about this.

  “He did say she was smart,” Ethan reminded them.

  “She’s probably way out of his league,” Parker quipped. “I don’t think Mensa allows hard-­hitting hockey players.”

  “I’m glad you think this is so funny.”

  “It’s only because we love you, bro.” Declan smiled, and Jordan had a hard time staying mad at the person he’d once built sheet tents with so they could stay up all night building stuff with Tinkertoys.

  “I’m going to keep that in mind when a woman takes you down to your knees,” Jordan said.

  “Only one reason a woman will ever have me on my knees.” Declan grinned. “And I can guarandamntee there won’t be any clothes involved.”

  “Right, Mr. Celibate.”

  “Celibate!” Heads turned in Dec’s direction while he cringed and flipped them all the bird.

  “All right. Let’s stop joking around,” Ryan said. “This sounds serious.”

  It was serious.

  But how could he tell these yahoos he was related to that the woman he’d fallen hard for had decided he wasn’t worth the effort? He knew she felt something more for him than just the pleasure of great sex. Still, she’d found it pretty damn easy to give him the boot. He needed to investigate how serious of a problem this article was for her. He didn’t want her to lose her job or respectability because of him. And he certainly didn’t need to lose any more points in his favor.

  Aunt Pippy came through the door too late to rescue him, but she did brighten the room with a purple and yellow geometric print dress with a wide vinyl belt, silver shoes, and dangly earrings in the shape of bananas and oranges.

  “Sorry I’m late,” she said, dropping her big yellow bag on a nearby chair. “Had to hit up the farmers’ market first. Heard Mountain Ridge Cellars was having a wine tasting. Thought I’d go incognito and check out the goods.”

  Incognito?

  His aunt’s outfit glowed bright enough to be seen from outer space.

  “You’ve been hitting the bottle already?” Parker teased. “It’s not even ten o’clock in the morning.”

  “Just a nip.” She sat down across from Jordan and snapped up a powdered sugar donut. “They’re charging ten bucks for five wines and they aren’t even filling the glasses a quarter full. That’s some profit they’re going to take home.”

  “Maybe we should be following suit,” Ethan said.

  “I say we expand the wine-­tasting room right here,” Ryan said. “Bring them to us instead of us going to them.”

  “How are we going to do that when we’re in the red?” Jordan asked. “Have we found out any more about the missing money?”

  Aunt Pippy had just taken a bite out of her donut. Powdered sugar lined her lips when she popped up out of her chair. “Anyone need more coffee? I’ll make a fresh pot.” And away she went, disappearing into the kitchen without even waiting for a response.

  Jordan noticed that whenever they started to talk about the missing money she found a reason to vanish. But there was no way she could have stolen the money. She never dealt with the finances of the vineyards. Sometimes she helped out with picking the grapes at harvest, but for the most part, she didn’t have much to do with the business.

  Still, her behavior made him curious.

  Ryan frowned. “We hired an investigator and a fresh pair of accounting eyes. We should have a report in the next week or so. Until then, we need to discuss what we’re going to do about having someone live here in the main house with Nicki. Obviously she needs a full-­time in-­house guardian. She doesn’t turn eighteen for several months, and even then, until she goes off to college, she can’t be left alone. I can’t uproot Riley from her home and routine. She’s had a tough time of it already.”

  “No shit,” Ethan said. “Poor kid.”

  “I can stay the nights when the food truck doesn’t run,” Parker offered. “But driving here every single night from Portland and being back at four a.m. would be a bitch.”

  “I can come back in a couple of weeks and help out,” Declan said.

  “I can stay for a few weeks.” Ethan ran a hand through his newly cut hair. Jordan was happy to see the beard gone too. “Fire season doesn’t start for a little while. I got an offer to fight fires down in Florida this month but I’ll just take a leave of absence.”

  “I want to help,” Jordan said. “But everything rides on what’s going to happen next week in Dallas. If we win the series we go to round one of the playoffs. Then there’s a game every other day for almost a week at a time. But I don’t want to let Nicki or you guys down.”

  “We’re big boys,” Ryan said. “We can take care of ourselves. The playoffs are a big deal for you. We’ll manage until your season is over. Then we’ll reestablish where we stand.”

  “You sure? I’d walk on my contract but it would cost me around four mil. And I figure we could probably use that
money around here for upgrades.”

  “Jesus.” Declan’s eyes widened. “Four million? Don’t you dare walk away from that. We’ll make this work.”

  “I’m just worried about Nicki feeling like we’re tossing her around like a ball,” Jordan said. “Like none of us can stick long enough to make her feel like she’s important. But she is.”

  Aunt Pippy wandered back into the room without a new pot of coffee, giving them all the idea that she’d been in the kitchen eavesdropping.

  “You boys have got your hands full right now. Best thing is for me to stay with her,” Pippy said. “She’s a might touchy these days. Maybe having a woman around full-­time will give her someone to talk to.”

  It made sense for their aunt to stay with Nicole. She’d been retired for several years and didn’t work at anything other than keeping up with the local gossip. But that didn’t make Jordan feel any less guilty for not being able to step in to help out like he said he would. He was doing exactly what he’d sworn he wouldn’t do because he’d yet to find a way to make everything work.

  Maybe Lucy was right. Maybe he needed less to focus on.

  Only one problem with that.

  Walking away from Lucy took away a whole lot of inspiration. He not only wanted her in his life, he needed her.

  Being home felt good, but odd. Lucy hadn’t slept in her own bed for almost a week. That had never happened before. And she never thought she’d hate sleeping alone. But she did. She missed having Jordan curled up against her, his warmth, and feeling safe when he had his arms around her. She’d only been with him a few days, yet it felt like a lifetime. She’d have to get used to things without him. And that didn’t sound like much fun either. Even poor Ziggy looked a little sad. Not that he’d liked being in an apartment, but the extra attention he’d gotten from both Jordan and Nicole had been pretty great.

  But life now had to go on without Jordan, and in order to handle that reality, Lucy needed to streamline her focus on things other than tall, dark, and hunky.

  She needed to check on Mrs. B. Yes, Lucy knew the sweet old lady’s children could take care of her, but that didn’t stop Lucy from worrying or caring. The stack of mail and newspapers on top of her kitchen table weren’t going to get any smaller if she kept walking by and ignoring them, so she grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to go through everything. Junk mail, pizza coupons, and other delightful garbage were stuck in between her gas and electric bills. When her phone rang she considered it a saving grace from the rest of the envelopes.