A Better Man

by Candis Terry

  “You sure? Because every time the subject comes up you hightail it out of the room.”

  “I’m a busy woman. I got things to do. Stuff to take care of.”

  Like what? he wanted to ask.

  Yes, he and his brothers were fortunate she’d stepped in and agreed to live in the main house with Nicole for the time being. It was obvious by her suddenly trembling hands that the question made her nervous. Whatever it was, she just needed to tell them so they could fix it. If she had anything to do with it, they’d forgive her. She was family.

  “Well, if you can think of anything you think we should know, you’ll tell us, right?”

  “Of course.” Her nervous laughter raised an even bigger question mark. “Well, I’d better get that plate. Your sister’s probably starving.”

  A few minutes later, sugar-­laden plate in hand, Jordan knocked on Nicole’s door and the strumming of the guitar stopped. He waited for the proverbial snotty teen response but to his surprise she opened the door and said, “Hey.”

  Thank God they’d moved on from “What the hell do you want?” Although with his luck, the reprieve was probably temporary.

  “I brought you breakfast.”

  She smiled. “It’s afternoon, you dork.”

  He could hardly tell his sister that he had happily lost track of time between the sheets with Lucy today, so he shrugged. “There’s never really a bad time to eat donuts, is there?”

  “No. But now I’ll have to exercise.” She snatched one off the plate and bit into it. “Mmmmm. I love maple bars.”

  “You sleep okay after we got home last night?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “No reason. Just trying to look after you. How’s the song coming along?”

  “I’m putting it in my repertoire.”

  “You have a repertoire now?”

  “Yeah. For when I go to Nashville.”

  “Nashville! What the hell are you talking about?”

  “My birthday is in a couple of months. So whether I graduate or not, I’m packing up my stuff and heading to Music City. You can hardly start a country music career here.”

  “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.” He put his hands up. “Let’s back this train up for a second.”

  “You’re not talking me out of it.” She sat on her bed and pulled the guitar onto her lap. “Besides, what do you care? I heard you guys talking this morning. Apparently I’m a giant pain in the ass you feel someone needs to babysit. This way you won’t have to worry.”

  “Are you shitting me?” Panic raced inside his chest. “You take off to a city you’ve never been to, all alone, and I’ll worry even more.”

  “You took off at eighteen.”

  “I was drafted by the NHL when I was eighteen. Big difference.”

  “Maybe to you. Besides . . .” She smirked. “I never said I was going there alone.”

  “What?” His head whipped around so fast his neck cracked.

  “A friend is going with me.”

  God, now he was getting a freaking cramp in his brain. “Does this friend happen to be a boy?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Hell yes it matters.” He sat down on the bed next to her.

  Now he knew how fathers of stubborn, wild teenage girls felt. And he had a feeling that talking sense into her was going to be like catching a fish barehanded.

  “Picking up and moving away without a plan, or money, or a job is crazy,” he said. “Doing all that with a guy who has expectations makes it worse.”

  “Who said I don’t have a plan or money?”

  “You don’t think Taylor Swift made it big the minute she rolled into town, do you? She had parents to take care of her needs. Who’s going to take care of yours? Where are you going to live? How are you going to pay rent? Buy food?”

  Holy shit. He sounded like an old fart.

  “I’m going to play in bars until I get discovered.”

  “You’re not even old enough to go into a bar. And I wouldn’t count on that instantly getting discovered thing. It’s not easy to make it in the music industry. There are people who’ve been playing those bars for years and have barely made enough to buy a McDonald’s hamburger.”

  “How do you know? You’ve never been in the music industry.”

  “No, but I dated an award-­winning country singer at one time. Gave me a little insight to the business.”

  “You dated a country singer?” Her eyes popped open wide. “Who?”

  “I’m not telling.”

  “Come on. No secrets.”

  He laughed. “Look who’s talking.”

  “Well, if you won’t tell me who she is, tell me what color hair she has.”

  “Blond.”

  “Carrie Underwood?”

  “Little sister, do you really think someone like Carrie Underwood would ever date someone like me?”

  “She married a hockey player.”

  “Yeah, but he’s a nice hockey player. I’m mean.”

  She giggled, and the sound rippled through him like a happy wave. “You do like to spend a lot of time in the penalty box.”

  “And you”—­he bumped her with his shoulder—­“like to try and change the subject.”

  She dropped her head and nodded. “I just don’t want to argue anymore. You’ve been . . . really nice to me. And I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve it.”

  “Listen.” Taking a chance she wouldn’t retreat, he wrapped his arm around her. “The teen years are hard enough without suffering the loss of your parents. I’m barely dealing with it, so I don’t have a clue how you’re coping. Everyone grieves in their own way. There’s no time limit.”

  “Jordan?” When she looked up there were tears in her pretty blue eyes. “That’s not why I’ve been so angry. Losing our parents makes me unbelievably sad. But it’s . . .”

  “Go ahead.” He gave her a side hug. “You can tell me. I won’t judge. I promise.”

  A heavy sigh pushed from her lungs. “It’s because of what I said to Dad just before they left for Hawaii.”

  “Did you have a teenage meltdown?”

  “No. I had an I’m-­tired-­of-­being-­ignored meltdown.”

  “Ignored?” From over three thousand miles away, he’d thought Nicki was probably being spoiled and growing up like a little princess.

  She dropped her face into her hands and sobbed. He pulled her into a full hug and just let her cry it out. She wiped her nose on his shirt and he didn’t even care. He wanted to know what was wrong. He wanted to help. At the moment he just wasn’t sure how.

  When the tears started to subside, he left her long enough to grab the box of tissues from her dresser. She pulled out a half dozen and tried to mop up the damage.

  “S-­sorry about your shirt.” She hiccupped.

  “I don’t care about the shirt, baby girl. I just care about you. Please tell me what’s going on. I can’t help if you don’t.”

  “You can’t help anyway.” She sniffed, then decided to blow her nose. “I got tired of Dad always having something else to do when it involved me. He’d practically run out of a room when I’d walk in.”

  “Nicki. That can’t be true. He loved you.”

  “I don’t think he did.” Her face crumpled and the tears started to flow again. “I’m not even sure I’m really your sister.”

  “What?” Where the hell had she gotten that idea? “Of course you are. You look just like the rest of us except prettier.”

  She shrugged. “I finally asked Dad why he ignored me. I hoped—­like Mom—­he’d tell me I was imagining things and give me a hug to make me feel better. But he didn’t. Instead he admitted that something in his past had affected him negatively where I was concerned. And that while he didn’t blame me, he just didn’t know if he could ever move pa
st it to be the kind of father I wanted.”

  What the fuck?

  Everything was starting to crumble and Jordan felt a cold chill slice up his back. He’d always thought his parents were perfect and that they had the perfect marriage. But now . . .

  “I don’t know what he meant,” his sister said. “Now he’s gone and I’ll never find out.”

  “Nobody else knows about this conversation?”

  She shook her head. “I wanted to tell Ryan but he’s so busy and he’s got to take care of Riley all on his own. I didn’t want to burden him with my problems.”

  “Why didn’t you ask Mom?”

  “There wasn’t time.”

  “God, Nicki, I don’t know what to say.” He gathered her up in a hug and she finally hugged him back. “But we’ll figure this out, okay?”

  She nodded. “What did you come in here to tell me before we got sidetracked?”

  Do the right thing.

  Jordan took a deep breath. “Don’t worry about anything, Nicki. We’re going to get this all worked out. I’ve made a decision and family comes first.”

  The nap Lucy had taken earlier revived her so that now when she should be thinking of going to bed she was wide awake. Waking alone had been both disappointing and a blessing. There was nothing she loved more than looking at Jordan’s sleek, toned muscles when he was naked. She loved the heat that radiated from his body. His always clean, masculine scent. And the feel of his soft hair beneath her fingers. But the discussion they’d had just before he’d hauled her off to the bedroom had been uncomfortable.

  For three years she’d been in control of her life. Of every step she took and every move she made. She’d made healthy decisions and she’d set healthy boundaries.

  Jordan ripped all that control to shreds.

  Not in a nasty way by any means. He did it with sweet talk, compassion, and a whole lot of hotness. She didn’t fool herself for one minute, though. When it came to Jordan Kincade, she wanted to lose control. She liked the way he made her feel safe, cared for, even sexy. Until he’d come along she’d never felt sexy. Never felt beautiful. Never in her life would she have thought he’d beg her to give them a chance.

  Lifting the wineglass to her lips, she paused the Oozma Kappa Party Central from the Monsters University DVD to find a snack that wouldn’t bypass her breasts and go straight to her thighs or hips. She had to step over Ziggy, who’d stretched out at her feet.

  The doorbell rang and she stopped midway to the kitchen, wondering who could possibly be at her door at this time of night.

  She looked down at her plaid pajama bottoms and baggy white T-­shirt and prayed to God it wasn’t Jordan. He’d seen her looking bad enough. And then she remembered the avocado mask on her face. Wonderful. No time to go wash it off, she went to the door, nudging tail-­wagging Ziggy aside with her foot.

  A Kincade stood there, but not Jordan.

  “Nicole? What are you doing here?”

  The teen stood there wearing a PINK hoodie, jeans, and Ugg boots, hugging herself against the cool night air.

  “Come in,” Lucy said, and then she remembered. “Excuse the mask. I wasn’t expecting company.”

  Ziggy did his usual happy dance and Nicole rewarded him with an affectionate stroke of her hand over the top of his head.

  “I’m sorry to bother you.”

  “You’re not. Have a seat. Would you like something to drink? Maybe something hot since its cold outside?”

  “No thank you.” She sat down on the edge of the sofa like she was ready to run.

  Lucy could see Nicole’s hands were shaking, and her concern ignited.

  “I probably should have gone to my brothers. But . . . I really thought you’d be the one who could help the most.”

  Lucy sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. “Honey, what’s wrong? You’re trembling.”

  “It’s Jordan.”

  Oh dear. What did the man do now?

  “Earlier when he came to talk to me I told him I didn’t want to go to college and that I wanted to go to Nashville to be a musician.”

  “And he got upset?” The news made Lucy sad because she knew how far Nicole could go with the right education. But she also realized that college wasn’t right for everyone.

  “Well, yes. He told me how dangerous and risky it was. And he tried to tell me how hard it would be. But he didn’t yell. Although he looked like he might when I told him I wasn’t planning on going alone.”

  “Going with someone else didn’t make him feel any better?”

  Nicole scrunched her nose. “I kind of made him think it would be a guy.”

  “Oh.”

  “And then I told him something I haven’t shared with anyone else. I told him the reason I’ve been so . . . angry.”

  As much as Lucy wanted to ask about the problem, it was none of her business. If Nicole wanted her to know she’d tell her. “And what did he say?”

  “He said he’d made a decision and family comes first.” Nicole squeezed her eyes shut for a second, when she opened them the blue was swimming in tears. “Ms. Diamond, I think he’s going to quit hockey, and it’s all my fault.”

  “Oh, honey.” Lucy pulled her into a hug even as she wanted to go find Jordan and ask him what he was up to. “If he does quit after this season it’s not your fault. Your brother’s a big boy who knows what he wants. Even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.”

  “No. I think he’s going to quit right now because of what I told him. I should have kept my mouth shut. I’d never dream of asking him to quit. It’s what he does. It’s what he loves. I could see that when I watched him play. I could see it at the meet-­and-­greet when he was with his fans. I don’t want him to stop doing what he loves because of me. I couldn’t live with that.”

  “That’s a heavy burden for you to bear. And, sweetie, you’ve been through enough lately.” Lucy pushed a lock of hair off Nicole’s forehead. “Did he actually say he was going to quit?”

  Nicole shook her head. “He didn’t have to. I could see it in his eyes and it was heavily implied. The determination on his face pretty much confirmed it.”

  “Then you’re right, he can’t quit.” The thought of the man not doing what he loved twisted Lucy’s stomach up in knots.

  “I know. That’s why I came to you. To see if you could try and talk some sense into him.”

  “Why would you think he’d listen to me?”

  “Because you two have something going on.”

  Lucy felt like she’d been hit with a shovel. She’d tried so hard to be careful so Nicole wouldn’t know. It would make things extremely awkward between teacher and student.

  “I know you tried to hide it from me,” Nicole said. “But it’s pretty unmistakable with the way you guys look at each other. Plus . . . I got up one night to get a glass of water and he wasn’t on the sofa. I knew he was in the bedroom with you.”

  “Oh my God.” Lucy covered her face with her hands. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Nicole touched Lucy’s shoulder. “I think it’s pretty cool.”

  Lucy lowered her hands and peeked over her fingertips. “You do?”

  Nicole nodded. “I think you’re good for him. He needs someone like you in his life. And . . . I like you. Even if you make me do hard assignments in school.” Nicole’s grin went straight to Lucy’s heart.

  “Only because I know you’re very smart and can ace anything you want if you’ll just try.”

  “I aced laying a guilt trip on Jordan when he first came home. I just always thought he was gone because he didn’t care about us.”

  “You know he does.”

  “I do now. But that was before I saw him doing what he loves. And I can’t let him give it up because of me. I’m selfish, but I’m not that selfish. I know he want
s to do what’s right. But staying here out of obligation isn’t right.”

  “I don’t think he’d stay just out of obligation, Nicole. I think he loves his family and he wants to be here for you. He wants to be a part of your life. He’s missed a lot over the last fifteen years.”

  “You can’t make up for lost time,” Nicole said sadly. “And if you give up something because you think that’s what you need to do to try, it’s wrong in too many ways to count. Before my parents died, quitting never entered his mind. Doesn’t that tell you it’s wrong?”

  Lucy knew she was the wrong one to give out advice. Especially where a family was concerned. She didn’t have one. She never really had. Her parents had quit on life way before she’d even entered high school. And for her to even try to step in and interfere with something she had no business doing scared the life out of her. But for a seventeen-­year-­old girl, Nicole made sense. And if Jordan was going to make such a gigantic decision, he couldn’t do it at the risk of making everyone else feel guilty because he’d done so.

  “It tells me he should give this a lot more thought,” Lucy said. “I think he’s just looking at it the way he does business on the ice. Out there he slams, punches, and pushes his way to get what he wants or needs. He doesn’t have time to think it over. He just makes an abrupt decision.”

  “Then will you please talk to him?”

  How could Lucy refuse the concern in Nicole’s eyes? “I’ll give it my best shot.”

  Relief washed over Nicole’s face. “Thank you.” She hugged Lucy, then leaned back and wrinkled her nose. “Although you might want to wash that mask off first. You’re cracking.”

  Lucy chuckled. “Story of my life.”

  The idea of taking the tiger by the tail and trying to convince Jordan he shouldn’t do something he probably really thought he should do would be a challenge bar none. Lucy hated confrontation. Of any kind. So she needed to come up with a disarming way to approach the matter. Catch him a little off guard. Then hopefully he’d see reason.

  Then again, she’d seen his deciphering on the ice, and Lucy knew that meant things probably wouldn’t bode well for what she needed to do. And the fact that she’d never been in this type of situation before guaranteed that no one should bet on her success.