Obsession and Sacrifice (Alaska #2)

by Tiffany Carmouche

  I was secretly happy he was awake, though. I bit my lip.

  “I thought we were being robbed.” He smiled as he continued scratching his head, and then they opened. His eyes, his beautiful blue eyes finally focused on me and I lost my footing and fell to the floor. He ran over to me. “Nikki, Nikki, are you okay?”

  “I’m sorry, I was just trying to get a cup of hot cocoa. I couldn’t sleep.”

  “You okay?” He pulled me back to my feet.

  “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just a little humiliated but I will survive.”

  Once he knew I was okay I could hear the sarcasm in his voice. “Yeah, I must say that was pretty classic. Well, you woke me up if that was your intention.”

  “It was. It was all part of my master plan.”

  “My god woman, it is still dark outside, it’s not even six a.m. What were you thinking?”

  “I don’t know, I really wanted hot chocolate. I thought with this walker it would be a breeze, I mean it’s only like fifteen feet away!”

  “And how were you planning to get out the hot chocolate from the cabinet?”

  “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

  “Here sit down, I’ll make you some.”

  I sat at the table and watched the snow out the window. The tiny puffs of white drifted through the back porch light. They looked so soft. I stood and grabbed the walker, dragging my feet so I could put my hands against the pane of glass. The cold surprised me but I didn’t take them away. I gazed out the window at the tiny speckles made their way to the earth. They were almost invisible in the darkness but in the light, it was almost as if they magically appeared, just for me. I had seen snow. It was everywhere. It covered the earth like a soft blanket almost as if it was erasing everything unpure. But I hadn’t remembered seeing the flakes descend from the heavens. They were so delicate individually, but as they joined each other and formed mounds you could see their power. I wanted to touch them. I wanted to feel the tiny flakes from heaven. I played with the latch on the door.

  “What are you doing?”

  “They look so soft, I want to touch them.”

  “The snow? You want to touch the snow?”

  “It’s so beautiful the way it gracefully falls, almost as if it has no cares in the world.”

  Bradley came over to the door. “It’s cold outside Nikki.” He handed me the hot chocolate. The steam frosted the glass and I saw his soft reflection behind mine, almost translucent as if we were superimposed on the falling snow. I looked at him in the reflection. I liked looking at him.

  “You really want to go, don’t you?” He could tell by the smile that took over my face in the glass that I did. “Only you, Nikki. Only you would want to go and play in the snow before sunrise. Let me get your coat.” He came back in the room and put my boots over my socks and wrapped a scarf around my neck as I held onto the walker. Then he covered my head with the hat, pushing my hair to the side out of my eyes. I felt it before. He would sweep the hair out of my eyes with his gentle touch. I glanced up at him. And he looked at me. He looked at me with the same tenderness. A memory! But just as quickly, it was gone. I leaned on the walker as he helped me put on my coat. He zipped it up. “It is really cold, you sure you want to do this?”

  I watched as Bradley walked over and banged on Dylan’s door, “Hey man, we’re going outside for a bit if you want to come.” Dylan came to the bedroom door. He looked puzzled.

  “Nikki wants to play in the snow.”

  “What time is it?”

  “I know. That’s what I said.”

  Dylan yawned, “Sure, I’ll be right there.”

  Bradley grabbed his coat. “Leave the walker here, you can hold onto me.” Bradley took my arm and I secured myself, leaning against him as he opened the back door.

  Dylan showed up and put his arm around me on my other side and they brought me out to the winter wonderland. The light danced off the snow and it sparkled almost like diamonds. I stood for a moment fascinated. And then it kissed me, my first snowflake, then another. The tiny cold droplets caressed my face, one at a time decorating my eyelashes. I giggled.

  I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, leaning on the two of them, and I opened my mouth, letting the tiny cotton-like flakes melt onto my tongue. I opened my eyes and watched the white flakes descend on me. Learning back, I squinted. The porch light illuminated Brad and Dylan’s silhouettes as if they were angels--almost as if I were experiencing heaven. God sent them to me. These beautiful angels, who knew me by name and appeared in my life to protect me and make everything wonderful. Maybe I had died. Maybe this was heaven. I stared up at their images looking down at me.

  “My angels.” I sighed.

  “Snow angels? You want to make snow angels?” Dylan swept me off my feet and dropped me gently into the snow.

  I quickly sat up. “Hey what was that for?”

  “Snow angels, I thought you wanted to make a snow angel.” He realized I had no idea what he was talking about. Both he and Bradley laid down in the snow, flaring their arms and legs.

  “Snow angels?” I laid in the snow like they did and flared my arms but my legs didn’t want to move. Bradley stood up, opening my legs and closing them and lifting me to my feet. The three of us looked down into the snow, and my face lit up. “Angels. Snow angels.” Our three snow angels lay side by side in the virgin snow.

  As I put my hand down it landed on a mound of snow and I couldn’t help it. I knew I had little hope at surviving a war with the two of them but I grabbed a mound in my hand and threw it up at Dylan. Then I grabbed some more and threw it up at Bradley. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn’t run! I couldn’t even walk to get a way! I covered my face with my hands but they were quickly pried off.

  “Oh no you don’t!” Dylan grabbed my hands from my face and Bradley dumped a mound of snow over my head. I reached and flung the snow back toward them laughing hysterically trying to remain stable. They continued to take turns covering me with snow and our laughter echoed throughout the snow-covered hills. I stopped. I heard it, Jessica’s laughter filled my heart.

  I stood still.

  “You okay, Nicole?”

  “My daughter, I think we were playing with her in the snow. I can hear her laugh.”

  “She won. Do you remember? She ambushed the fort and dumped a bucket of snow on my head.” Dylan laughed. “Like this.”

  He grabbed a little bucket of snow and covered me with it.

  “Bradley, are you going to let him do that to me?”

  “Let’s get him!” Brad held Dylan’s arms as I grabbed the bucket filling it with snow and dumped it on top of him.

  “This means war.” He picked me up and spun me around. And then he stopped. Something moved in the dark.

  “Wait!” Dylan got serious. “What was that?” He looked out into the trees.

  We all stopped and looked into the woods. I heard something move in the hillside. “What is that?” In the shadows I saw a huge figure. His antlers spread at least 6 feet across, and this creature stood almost as tall as the roof. “Is that a deer?”

  “No Nikki, that’s a moose.”

  “It’s huge, it looks like it’s on steroids!” It seemed to just watch us, wondering what we were up to. “It’s really pretty. Can we pet it?”

  “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why don’t we get inside? It’s probably harmless but it is better not to take a chance.”

  I looked around at the snow we spattered all over, nodding down at the ground. “At least we didn’t ruin our angels.”

  They dusted the snow off my face and out of my hair and allowed me to lean on them as we reentered the house.

  “I like snow.”

  “Apparently you do.” They said in unison dusting some
more of the snow out of my hair.

  Chapter 16

  “Why is your body so familiar? Why is your heartbeat so comforting?”

  ~Nicole Carlise

  Obsession and Sacrifice

  Tiffany Carmouché

  *Nicole*

  A week later I stood up from my bed looking at the bedroom door. One, Two, Three! I did it! I took three steps by myself. Where is everyone? I heard Bradley coming out of the bathroom and wanted an audience to witness my improvement. I anchored myself on the wall as I made my way into the hall to surprise him. My jaw dropped, and eyes lowered quickly--his bare chest exposed. I peeked up and felt a tingle enter my body as a warmth filled my cheeks. I unconsciously stared at him for a moment, biting my lip. So gorgeous. I blinked, remembering why I had entered the hallway in the first place.

  “Watch this.” I said with enthusiasm, trying to camouflage the crush I had developed for my guardian angel. “Watch this, Bradley.” I let go of the wall, taking a few steps, but my legs quickly seemed to give out and I collapsed in his arms. He held me up and I grabbed him tight for support and rested my head on his chest. I couldn’t help it. My hand began to explore his upper body. His heartbeat--so familiar, his body--so nice. As Brad began to pull his body away, I embraced him tighter.

  “Hold me please. I remember, I remember the feeling of being in your arms. Your heart beat’s so unforgettable. The sweet smell of your body’s so comforting.” I grazed his chest with my fingers, resting my hand over his heart. He cupped his hand over mine and we stood there in the hall, silently, my body secured by his arms. I could feel his breath on my neck. I closed my eyes.

  Time seemed to stall as his heartbeat grew even more pronounced and even more familiar to me. I pulled myself away from him, using his forearms for support, and gazed up.

  “It was snowing, I remember the snow, I remember the cold.” I enfolded my arms around his waist, hugging him tight. “I remember the warmth of your body… Bradley?”

  “Yes, Ni--,” He cleared his throat. “Ni…Nikki.” He held his breath.

  “Bradley, I found this.” I began unbuttoning my blouse, revealing my red négligée and let my shirt fall to the floor. “Bradley,” I gently stroked the silk. “When I found this, I remembered your arms. I remembered your security. I remembered…your touch.”

  I felt his heart racing as I again touched his chest. “I remember your warmth.”

  He gently stroked my face, looking at my lips as he slowly brought his face closer and closer to mine. He licked his lips to moisten them. I closed my eyes in anticipation of his kiss. A shiver went up my body. I felt him lean in even closer, my heart about to explode. He suddenly pulled away.

  I could feel him hesitate and opened my eyes, feeling stupid, feeling rejected.

  He stared at me, not saying a word.

  “I’m sorry.” I looked down, embarrassed. My heart fluttered, yet void. A sick feeling filled my stomach. I’m so stupid. I pulled further away. “I’m sorry,” I struggled to pick up my blouse off the floor. Bradley quickly grabbed it for me, and I snatched it out of his hands.

  “I’m sorry!” Embarrassed by his reaction, I used the wall to secure my travel.

  “I’m sorry,” Bradley whispered.

  Upset, I retreated, bewildered. How could I have misread something so profoundly? I had been sure he was my lover, yet, he didn’t want me.

  Wobbling back to the bedroom, I slammed the door behind me. A hollow feeling ate away at my core. I looked at myself in the mirror. Bruises and scars stained my face, the scars scabbed over. He is repulsed by me, I realized.

  Tears invaded my eyes. I’m a creature. How could anyone want me?

  Chapter 17

  What if destiny had made her remember his touch?

  Obsession and Sacrifice

  Tiffany Carmouché

  *Bradley*

  She thinks we are lovers. Bradley wanted her so badly, but he couldn’t deceive her. She wanted him because she assumed they were lovers not because she loved him. As much as he wanted her, his sense of loyalty for his best friend won over his infatuation.

  Bradley heard the weeping behind the door. He didn’t want to hurt her. He didn’t want to deny her. He wanted to kiss her lips but it would be wrong. Knocking, he begged. “Nikki, Nikki, open the door.”

  “Go away!”

  “Nicole, open up!” She ignored his plea. “Nicole.” He banged harder. She didn’t open it. He ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from one of the drawers. He glanced at the flowers on the counter that he had bought her for Valentine’s Day, shaking his head, he realized it was not a good idea to give them to her now. He made his way back to the bedroom.

  “Go away, Bradley!” He could hear her faint cry as he jammed the knife through the crack in the door, fidgeting with it until he released the lock.

  She lay on the bed, buried in her covers. As he entered the bedroom, his stomach became uneasy because he had offended her. Making his way to the bed, he sat down beside her.

  “Go away, Bradley!” she sobbed through her covers. “Go away!”

  “Nikki.” He had no idea how to begin. He wanted to stop her crying. He wanted to taste her sweet lips. He wanted to caress her beautiful body as he explored her every curve. She made it so hard to be a loyal friend. He wanted to slowly remove her clothing and lay with her naked, letting their heart beats harmonize. He wanted to tell her that he loved her.

  “I’m ugly!” she blurted out.

  “What?”

  “I’m so ugly. I know that is why you don’t want me anymore. I don’t know what I was thinking. Why would you want to be with someone so disgusting? I can’t even walk! What was I thinking?”

  “Nikki, is that what you think? It’s nothing like that!” He slowly unwrapped the blanket so he could see her tear-stained face, and gently he wiped away the moisture.

  “Please leave me alone!”

  “Nicole, you are beautiful! You are so beautiful, never say that!” He gently traced the scabs. “These will go away. But even if they never do, I don’t see any of these when I look at you.”

  “Please leave me alone. I feel so stupid.”

  He finished unwrapping the blankets that had been her hiding place and put his arm around her. He had been waiting for this moment. She wanted him. He pulled her body even closer to his and looked into her eyes.

  “I’m gonna be honest with you, Nikki. You are right, you do remember--I held you. I love holding your body next to mine.”

  “Why don’t you want me anymore?” She gazed at him, her big brown eyes hurt by rejection.

  “I do want you, Nikki. I want you so bad, but you are not mine to have.” Bradley realized he couldn’t live with himself if he tried to steal her from Dylan. Dylan was like a brother. “You’re not mine,” he repeated, trying to remind himself as well, even though he wanted nothing more than to be with her. She was the only woman he had ever loved.

  “Why is your body so familiar?” She touched his chest again. Her head rested on his shoulder. “Why is your heartbeat so comforting?”

  “We were outside, freezing. We held each other to stay warm”

  “But I remember, I remember this.” She fondled his chest.

  “I unbuttoned our shirts so our body temperatures could warm each other.”

  “But what about this?” She touched her lingerie. “It smells like you, and I can picture myself wearing this in your arms.”

  “You were scared, Nikki. It was innocent. I held you when you needed me, that’s all.”

  She looked into his eyes. “I remember the snow.” She rested her head back on his shoulder. “I remember your embrace.” Her fingers gently traced his chest again.

  A burning sensation built inside of him, and he ran his hand across her back.
Her skin felt so soft.

  “I love hearing your heartbeat. It’s like a lullaby. Hold me Bradley. Let me lye here for awhile. I feel so at peace.” Bradley realized he couldn’t stay. He kissed her on her forehead, starting to leave.”

  “Please don’t go.” She nestled closer to him.

  He had to leave. The incredible feeling of holding her in his arms, slowly replaced the loyalty he felt toward Dylan. What if destiny had made her remember his touch?

  Bradley convinced himself that she chose him. Why would she come to him on Valentine’s Day if it wasn’t destiny? She began to fall asleep in his arms. He took her tiny hand in his and placed it on his heart and pulled the covers over their legs, but they were stuck under her body so his chest remained exposed, but the warmth of her touch smoldered inside him like a gentle flame. He loved the feeling of her body snuggled in his arms.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Nikki,” he whispered. He longed to kiss her now that life flowed through her body. So pink. Instead he just held her in his arms and soon drifted off to sleep as well.

  Chapter 18

  *Dylan*

  Dylan made his way down the hall with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. It wasn’t how he envisioned spending Valentine’s Day with her, but until she was a little bit stronger, he knew he couldn’t spoil her the way he wanted to. Perhaps if she was up for it he could surprise her and they could do something special. The house was quiet. Maybe Brad had taken her somewhere or maybe she was taking nap. He walked to the doorway of the bedroom.