Obsession and Sacrifice (Alaska #2)

by Tiffany Carmouche

  Chapter 27

  “I felt beautiful for a moment, a feeling shattered every time I looked in a mirror.”

  ~Nicole Carlise

  Obsession and Sacrifice

  Tiffany Carmouché

  *Nicole*

  I lit the candles that sat on Bradley’s kitchen counters. As the wax melted, I poured the liquid wax into my hands, combining all of the candles together. Ouch. It burnt for a moment but cooled quickly to a nice temperature. Taking tiny amounts of wax at a time, I rolled them in the warmth of my hands so they wouldn’t harden, to help them remain pliable. I closed my eyes to remember how his muscles felt in my hands and recreated the curves on my tiny figure. Smoothing out the wax, I used my fingers and an ice pick for small details.

  I picked it up and studied it and set it on the counter. The form, one of my guardian angels – a small statue of Dylan’s head and torso. As I allowed the wax to harden, I got some more wax and rolled it in my hands. Dylan walked over to me to see the tiny form.

  “Nicole, this is amazing. The details in the muscles and features are meticulous” Dylan picked it up, examining my creation.

  “I got the four muscles in your forearm.”

  “Look at that, you do! I’ve always wanted to see the world through your eyes.” He set it back down. “I know I had encouraged you to paint, but I never realized how talented you were. You never talked about art. Wow, baby, you really remembered. This is really excellent.”

  “The truth is, Dylan, when I traced your body with my hands, a feeling overcame me. It felt like I was sculpting and it felt so right. I needed to create.” I wanted to try it again. I sat in front of the wax, yet nothing happened. I stared at it. I rolled it, but I couldn’t begin to design anything. I complained to Dylan that I needed a muse. Just then, Bradley got home and I decided he would be my next guinea pig.

  “Bradley, can I borrow you?” I asked, trying to look innocent.

  “Sure, what do you need, Nikki?” I knew Bradley couldn’t tell me no. Dylan shook his head. I stared at Dylan so he wouldn’t say anything to warn Bradley to run. Dylan shook his head but didn’t say a word.

  I knew I made it hard for both Bradley and Dylan. I understood why I had been in love with Dylan but my memories of him were not as intense as my memories of Bradley, and I loved it when I got little glimpses into the past--a flash back which revealed a tiny piece of my world before I woke up in the hospital bed.

  The look of disgust in Dylan’s face showed me he hated the idea of me experimenting on Bradley. He couldn’t say anything though because I wasn’t officially his girl anymore, but I could see his teeth were clenched. I don’t think he wanted to witness me flirting with Bradley. I wasn’t really flirting. Well, maybe I was but Dylan’s jealousy excited me. What was wrong with me?

  And if Dylan loved me so much, why wouldn’t he kiss me? I practically begged him to kiss me, leaning in so he would taste my lips. And he kissed my forehead. My forehead, like a little girl. I wasn’t a little girl. I was a woman and I wanted him to kiss me like one.

  He sat in corner of the room. He didn’t want to leave the two of us alone, hoping it would make it less likely something would happen. Nothing would happen. Bradley wouldn’t try anything. I kinda wish he would. Is it possible to love two men? I couldn’t choose. I wished one of them would kiss me so I wouldn’t have to.

  Dylan didn’t object, maybe because he knew I wouldn’t listen but he did insist, “Stay in here, no bringing him to the bedroom.”

  “Excuse me?” Bradley turned to Dylan with his eyebrows raised.

  I held myself up on the corner of the couch and motioned for Bradley to come to me. He stood in front of me and I steadied myself on his body, gently pushing him backward, till he hit the seat behind him. I deliberately pressed him onto the chair. Bradley fidgeted. Dylan sat only a few feet away.

  “So what can I do for you?” Bradley questioned.

  “Shh.” I proceeded to quiet him as I straddled his legs, sitting on his lap, facing him.

  “Nicole?” His voice cracked.

  “Shh, it is important. I want to sculpt you.”

  “You want to what?”

  “It may help me remember. Shh.”

  Bradley sat there, me on his lap, my face close enough to kiss if he just leaned forward. My hair fell into my face, and as he started to push it aside, I grabbed his hand.

  “I need you to be completely still. Please?” I didn’t know who I wanted and I hoped this would help me choose.

  I ran my hands over the top of his shirt. Caressing his chest, I traced the power in his arms, touching the muscles of his body, protected by cloth. Although my eyes were closed, my face warmed. I blushed at my unrestrained exploration, pretending not to be intimidated by his powerful force and my own lust. I loved feeling the rhythm of his chest, hypnotizing me as I escaped into his physique.

  I knew he wouldn’t have me. I knew his loyalty overpowered his desire. It wasn’t that I wanted Dylan any less. I didn’t understand how I could be so confused. I wanted to know who was my soul mate. I had hoped touching one of them would have been less erotic to me. My heart beat faster. I secretly liked the feeling of control I aroused in both men. I felt beautiful for a moment, a feeling shattered every time I looked in a mirror. I needed both of them, they were all I had in the world and perhaps this was dangerous. I unleashed a risky desire, but I had to continue, hoping one of them would be daring enough to take me in his arms and enjoy my lips.

  Chapter 28

  Her intoxicating touch tortured him. Every moment of their brief intimate encounter he embraced as a moment stolen in time--cherished forever. “I love you Nikki.”

  “ He needed to tell her.

  ~Bradley Summers

  Obsession and Sacrifice

  Tiffany Carmouché

  *Bradley*

  Her eyes were so bewitching, Bradley didn’t move. He fell under her spell. He took a deep breath in. Her skin looked so soft. She vigorously rubbed her hands together to create warmth.

  This was not good, Dylan observed from only a few feet away. Bradley began to contemplate how he could camouflage his yearning for her.

  She began running her fingers through his hair. Her gentle fingers tantalized his scalp and a shiver tickled his spine. She closed her eyes as she began examining him with her hands.

  So stunning. Even with the fading scars he couldn’t think of anyone so beautiful to him. Her touch tenderly caressed his face, feeling his cheek bones and every contour of his features. As she leaned in, her breast gently brushed up against him. With her legs straddling his lap, he realized she could feel his desire for her build as his heartbeat elevated.

  Her face expressed utter peace as she tormented him. Her lips so tempting, her breast so inviting, as they gently lifted with each sensual breath she took. He did everything he could to control himself. Her fingers made their way to his lips, gently outlining them as she slowly inhaled. His hands remained resting at his side, almost tingling. The desire to kiss her, to caress her, to hold her burned inside him Why would she tempt him so? Once she finished her inspection of every characteristic on his face, she traveled down his neck wrapping both hands around it as she traced his Adams Apple with her thumb. She could strangle him and he would do nothing to stop her.

  He tried to control his racing heart while this beauty rested upon him stimulating his skin with her touch. Her hands made their way to the buttons on his shirt.

  Shit, he thought. I can’t do this. He cleared his throat.

  “Mmm,” she sighed.

  “Excuse me, I’m still in the room,” Dylan objected.

  Her eyes remained closed, dismissing their reluctance.

  “Shh.” Her lips pressed together almost as in a kiss as she allowed the sound to escape from her mouth. Bra
dley licked his lips, his secret desire, that she would feel his yearning and be drawn to him as a magnet. He fought his urge to share the passion that built inside him with her every smile, her every breath, her every touch.

  Captivated by her, Bradley lifted her up off his lap and just above his head. He pulled her body close to his and lowered her down his body. Her breast touched his face and brushed

  against his chest, and as he let her slide through his arms, their lips almost touched. For a moment, their erratic breath amplified as their bodies rubbed against each other.

  Her eyes still closed and wrapped in his arms, her feet touched the floor. He could tell she still had feelings for him. Was this her way of getting back at him for denying her? Was his loyalty right, if it denied him the one woman he ever loved?

  Her intoxicating touch tortured him. Every moment of their brief intimate encounter he embraced as a moment stolen in time--cherished forever. I love you Nikki. He needed to tell her.

  Chapter 29

  *Dylan*

  Dylan sat back in horror as the woman he loved touched another man right in front of him. Pain filled him as he watched her tiny hands undress Bradley and gently caress his chest. Dylan wanted to grab her and scold her for her behavior. It was wrong for her to tease them, but for some reason, watching her touch Bradley made him realize how much he needed her. His heartbeat rose in a mixture of anger and desire. He wanted to leave, he wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening, but he couldn’t walk out the door. He saw Bradley’s desire for her building and feared if he left the room, Bradley wouldn’t control his urge to make love to her. Dylan watched as Bradley held his breath while her hands fondled his body.

  It killed Dylan to see their attraction grow for each other, but he could not do anything to stop it. Then all of a sudden she began unfastening Bradley’s pants.

  “Holy shit! No, No, No!” Bradley grabbed her hands. Dylan jumped to his feet. “Dylan, control your woman,” he blurted out.

  “I just wanted to see if I remembered anything.” She smiled.

  “There is nothing to remember!” Bradley snapped.

  “There better not be.”

  “Dylan, control your woman.” Bradley repeated, clutching her hands again.

  Dylan snatched her away from Bradley’s body. “I think that is enough,” Dylan demanded as he took her in his arms.

  “I’m not his woman,” Nicole explained to Bradley. “He doesn’t even want to kiss me.”

  “Is that what this is about? I didn’t kiss you, so you seduce my best friend in front of me.”

  “All great masterpieces are done in the nude,” Nicole muttered under her breath. “I’m just saying,” she tried to look innocent. Dylan’s face reddened.

  “So you want me to kiss you, do you? You want a kiss, is that what you really want?” He put his hands on her waist and lifted her against the wall so her legs were dangling. He stared at her lips.

  “Excuse me, I don’t want to interrupt. I think that maybe I will just um, take a cold shower. Don’t mind me or anything. I don’t exist.” Bradley commented walking down the hall.

  Dylan leaned in to kiss her, her eyes closed in anticipation, and then he pulled away.

  “You are such a tease. You liked torturing us, didn’t you?” His voice was stern.

  Her eyes opened. “I wasn’t trying to torture you.”

  “Don’t lie, Nicole. What do you want? You know how I feel.”

  “Show me.”

  “If you don’t know who you want, I would rather wait. If I kiss you, there is no way I would ever put up with what you just did to me. I want you to make the right decision Nicole, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

  “I want to remember Dylan. I do. All I know is I love both of you. The two of you are all I have. You are my guardian angels and I don’t know what I would do without either of you.”

  “I love you Nicole and I’ll do anything for you, but I’m giving up a lot to be with you. I don’t want to give up everything and find out you chose him.”

  “I don’t want you to give up anything for me. If I’m a burden, leave me alone,” she snapped, using the wall for balance as she went into her room.

  “Wait Nicole, I want to.” Dylan held the door open. “I would gladly give up everything for you, if I knew you would be mine.”

  “Please leave me alone. I just need to be alone for awhile. I know how much you have done for me. I will find a way to not bother you anymore.”

  “Nicole it’s not like that, I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “You had to give up everything for me, you said it yourself. What can I give you if I don’t have anything to offer? I have nothing of my own, not even my memories. Just leave me alone.”

  He tried to say something and she interrupted.

  “Please leave me alone!”she shouted. “I don’t want to hear your lame excuses as to why you didn’t mean what you said.” She turned away from him.” I just need to be alone.”

  Chapter 30

  *Nicole*

  Finally he closed the door. I yanked a pile of clothes out of my drawers and they fell to the floor. Frustrated I balanced myself against the dresser and leaned over to pick them up and staggered to the bed, throwing them on the covers. I will not bother them anymore. Sorting through the mound, I sat with my legs crossed on the blanket, folding my arms in front of me. I’ll leave. I won’t bother them anymore. I pouted.

  Gathering the necessities like my winter coat, gloves and a warm hat, I got ready. Finally the house was still. They were both taking showers. I layered my body in clothing. Using the walls to balance myself, I struggled to the closet where they stored my walker.

  I quietly made my way out the front door and stepped outside. My layers protected me from the bitter cold. My walker however was not as efficient on the snowy roadways as it had been in the hospital hallway. The roads were bumpy with mounds of packed snow, creating an obstacle every few feet. I had to lift the walker up almost a foot with each step.

  I continued, determined to disappear and never ask the two of them for anything again. Every foot seemed to take an eternity as I tried to get my legs to move, one in front of the other. The atrophy in my leg muscles, and my stupid brain trauma made things, like forgetting how to walk, kind of a problem in my grand escape.

  The bright lit street seemed to go on forever, and the cold slowly set in, especially on my nose, which had slipped outside of the scarf that covered most of my face. I readjusted it to better protect me from the elements. With each feeble step, I began to reevaluate my great plan of independence. A gnawing in my stomach tormented me as hunger began to set in, an issue I hadn’t considered in my bull-headed decision. I had no idea where I was going, and in my haste I hadn’t thought about much except making it out the front door. I didn’t consider important things such as my lack of money, the fact I had no car and could barely walk or the fact that someone out there wanted to kill me. All I knew was that I didn’t need anyone, especially Dylan, and I was going to prove it.

  A mixture of pride and naivety made me feel I could just walk out the door and somehow everything would be all right. But I began to realize it wasn’t one of my smarter moves. I thought back to the comfort of Brad’s home, the warmth, the protection. I’d never felt hunger. I hadn’t appreciated the sanctuary. I took it for granted.

  With each step, my legs felt more and more like marshmallows. I yawned and rubbed my eyes. I grew tired, not because of the cold or hypothermia but from my lack of sleep.

  I wondered if they realized I had runaway. Should I go back? Maybe I could sneak back in bed and they would never know I had been gone.

  How was I going to eat? Where would I sleep? All of these questions I should have considered sooner. I began to realize all Bradley and Dylan had provided for me
and felt stupid for leaving the only safe haven I knew. Even if I made it to town, I had no money to buy even a cup of coffee. What was I thinking? I turned around. I should go back. But despite my handicap, I had made it quite a distance.

  My legs were killing me and I was so tired. I had to find a safe place to rest before trying to make the trip back to Bradley’s house. I hoped they would still be sleeping and not realize my foolishness, because I knew I would never live it down. Their home was a place of safety, and I really started to miss the two men who had surrounded me in protection.

  A quick nap, that was all I needed to get the strength to go back home. I searched around. If I lay down on the snow, I would surely get soaking wet and the cold would enter my bones. I couldn’t risk hypothermia. I scanned the area for someplace I could safely rest. It was night. Most people would be in for the evening. I hobbled to a car parked along the side of the road, I pulled the handle. It was locked. A little further up the road, an SUV sat in front of a house. I prayed it would be unlocked. My legs were throbbing and I could barely keep my eyes open. I didn’t feel safe sleeping out in the elements. I needed someplace dry. That would block the gentle breeze. I only needed like a half hour, just enough time to rebuild my strength so I could go home.

  I finally made it to the SUV. I tried to open the doors but they were locked. I shrugged. I went around and tried the back. It was open! It was open! I folded my walker, climbed inside, pulled it into the back with me and closed the door. Oh, it felt so much warmer. I curled into a ball to rest, just for a short nap to regain my strength. I closed my eyes.