Bad Habit: Downey Brothers Series

by Mara Leigh

  “I’ll go slow,” he said. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

  I nodded.

  Leaning on one elbow beside me, he moved his hand between our bodies and parted my folds, and I felt the pressure of something resting hard against my opening. Closing my eyes, I braced for the pain.

  “Relax,” he said, running his hand over my belly, then fondling one of my nipples.

  He kissed me again, sliding his tongue in and out of my mouth so carefully, so gently as his fingers kneaded my breast and flicked over my tightened nipple.

  His hand slid up to my shoulder and pressed down as he pushed his hips forward.

  I felt a sharp pain between my legs. “Oh!” My breath came out in hard, heavy gasps as he held himself still inside me.

  After that first shock, it felt fine to have him spreading me open down there. Not painful. Just strange.

  “You okay?” he asked, looking into my eyes.

  I nodded, and he pushed his hips forward, sliding into me farther. “Still okay?”

  “Yes. I’ll tell you if it’s not okay. I promise.”

  He nodded, pulled back slightly, and then pushed forward again, moving his penis more slowly inside me than he’d moved his fingers—a relief because it was so much bigger.

  Each time he slid it back, he pushed farther in, and I wondered how far it could go. Was I big enough down there? What would happen if I wasn’t?

  “You’re so tight. You feel so fucking good.” He bent over me, my face near his Adam’s apple as he penetrated my body, grunting occasionally as he moved his hips slowly. His entire body was tense, every muscle in his body fully absorbed in this act that I had to assume was pleasurable for him. Very pleasurable, given his restrained grunts and moans.

  For me…. it had stopped hurting, but I wasn’t quite sure what to think. It didn’t feel bad—not exactly—but it didn’t feel all that pleasurable either as he repeated the same actions over and over, sliding his penis ever-so-gently inside me, and the deed went on for so long I started to wonder how long this final act lasted.

  Mac

  I was fucking inside her, finally fucking inside her. The instant I pushed my dick through her tight opening, I was ready to come. But I couldn’t let that happen. Not that quickly. I wasn’t a high school kid and I needed to make this last—for her sake.

  I strained against my body’s demand that I thrust harder and deeper, that I pound into her tight pussy until I climaxed—something that wouldn’t take long if I let it—but this wasn’t about me, it was about her and I had to be gentle. Slow. Careful. Not penetrate too deeply.

  Fearing I’d come if I looked into her eyes, I moved up on the bed and continued to move with strokes as slow and shallow as I could manage. Just being inside her was more than I could bear, and I felt my finish building inside me.

  Baseball? Were you supposed to think about baseball?

  Faith remained still beneath me, her breath warm on my upper chest, and I listened for signs or sounds that I was hurting her. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. Fine. Thank you.”

  I hoped she was enjoying this, but I couldn’t tell. She’d been so responsive before, but now I couldn’t figure out what she wanted. I knew she couldn’t tell me what she wanted, so all I could do was be careful and make this last as long as I could possibly manage.

  Her hands rose and stroked my back, the first indication that she was enjoying the sex, so I kept things the same, wanting to prolong her pleasure as long as possible.

  One of her hands drifted down to my ass. I gasped. She circled my ass cheeks, then squeezed.

  I fucking lost it.

  “Faith. Oh, shit.” My hips took over, thrusting faster and harder until I came, shooting my load into the condom. I collapsed on top of her.

  Regaining my sanity, I reached to hold the base of the condom as I pulled my cock out, then rolled to the side.

  “You okay?” I tucked my arm under her shoulders and pulled her against my chest.

  “Mmm… hmmm,” she murmured. “Thank you for asking.”

  I pressed a kiss against the top of her head and felt myself drift toward a blissful sleep.

  Ten

  Mac

  Faith took a sip of ice water as we stretched side by side under the shade of the private cabana I’d reserved for us by the pool.

  “Want another drink?” I asked.

  “No thanks.”

  She adjusted the cover-up she wore over her conservative but smoking-hot bathing suit, in a turquoise fabric dotted with bright red cherries that reminded me of photos of 1940s pinup girls. She couldn’t look cuter, or sexier. Luckily my loose swim trunks helped hide my perma-boner.

  “You doing okay?” I turned onto my side on the double lounge chair, wishing I could see her eyes under her oversized sunglasses. The personal shopper at Barney’s had done an awesome job helping Faith pick stuff out.

  “I’m wonderful.” She rewarded me with a smile and took my hand. “You don’t need to keep asking. But it is thoughtful.”

  “It’s just that you’ve been so quiet today. Having second thoughts?”

  “About what?”

  “Committing all these sins. Losing your virginity.”

  She shook her head. “Just concentrating on the sloth portion of our itinerary.”

  “Cheers to that.” I raised my beer and took a sip, then lay back, loving how her hand felt in mine and trying to convince myself that nothing had changed between us.

  But something was wrong. I’d taken the cherry of a girl who’d promised herself to freaking Jesus. There was nothing more wrong than that.

  This morning, I’d found her carefully folding all the Barneys purchases, and my heart nearly snapped, thinking she was trying to sneak off and find her way back to San Francisco on her own.

  It was a relief to learn she only planned to take everything back to the store.

  I put a stop to that, finally telling her she couldn’t do the return without my credit card, plus she’d need a few more outfits to wear while we were on the trip.

  We compromised on her being able to return anything she didn’t get around to wearing in Vegas, and we’d sealed our deal with a kiss that lead to a steaming-hot make-out session that left me blue-balled when it became clear she didn’t want to go past third base.

  Not that third base wasn’t awesome, but now that my dick had been inside her, it had a mind of its own and was furious I hadn’t done all I could to force myself back in there again.

  Now that we’d done the deed, it almost seemed she didn’t want to do it again, like having sex once had gotten it out of her system. It certainly hadn’t gotten it out of mine. Just the opposite. If I’d wanted her before, now I only wanted her more. And not just for sex.

  I didn’t want to let her out of my sight. Ever. I knew this had to end, would never develop into a relationship—she had a prior one with God—but I wanted to make the most of it while it lasted.

  I stroked her hand with my thumb, and she responded with a low murmur of pleasure.

  I’d never felt this way around a woman. I hadn’t imagined it possible that I could feel so possessed, so devoted, so freaking committed to doing everything I could to make someone else happy, to do what I could to keep her at my side.

  I was drunk, but I’d only had two beers. Drunk on Faith.

  “Come here.” I slid closer toward her. “I want to hold you.”

  She snuggled up against me, and I tucked my arm under her shoulders and pulled her in close. Her hand rested on my chest, and she drew a long breath, her exhale dancing lightly over my pecs.

  My balls constricted. Fuck. I was so hard it hurt, but if that was the price of being able to hold her, I’d gladly pay.

  Her fingers teased my chest hair. “Tell me more about your business.”

  “It’s all pretty boring.”

  “Not to me. I want to learn, understand more about the world, your world.”

  “We import things, then s
ell them.” I lied so easily. Too easily. But the lie was close to the truth, and holding back details was for her own good. The less she knew the better. “I mostly do the selling part. Line up buyers, negotiate the deals.”

  “What kind of things do you import?”

  “Whatever we think we can sell.”

  “At a profit.”

  “Sure.” If I told her the truth, any part of it, she’d be done with me.

  I closed my eyes. What was I scared of losing? It was going to end anyway. Maybe it was time to man up and share the truth.

  My dick argued against telling her, knowing it might mean an end to the sex, and then my dick’s argument got stronger when her hand drifted up and down my torso, painting a line down to my abs and back up again.

  I shifted my hips, hoping to ease the pressure in my shorts.

  “Tell me more about your brothers.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything. Anything. I didn’t have any brothers and sisters.”

  “That must have been lonely.”

  “Well, I did have some friends. Samantha and Will.”

  “I thought you didn’t—”

  “They were pretend.”

  “Oh…”

  “It’s okay. It’s not like I didn’t know they were pretend. I used to play games with them, talk to them when Mother wasn’t around.” She lightly slapped my chest. “You’re stalling. I asked about your brothers.”

  I smiled. “Keagan’s the oldest. Women like him. You’re not allowed to meet Keagan.”

  “What?”

  “Just kidding, but women fall at his feet. Always have. And it’s more than his looks. He’s confident, smart. Knows how to talk to people.”

  “So do you.”

  “Not like him. I’ve never seen Keagan in a situation he couldn’t control. He’s… he’s powerful. And I know he’s my older brother, but it’s not just that.”

  “And your twin?”

  “Dillon. He’s about ten minutes younger.”

  “Identical?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. I suppose all five Downeys look somewhat alike, but Dill and I are fraternal twins. And we’re totally different.”

  “How?”

  “I’m into people, he’s into machines.”

  She shot me a look that was clearly puzzled.

  “He’s good with mechanics, technology, fixing things. I suppose he’s an introvert. He likes puzzles and machinery more than dealing with people.”

  “Oh.” She frowned a little.

  “But you’ll love him. He’s great, really. He just takes his time to decide what to say, who to talk to, who to trust.”

  “And your younger brothers?”

  “Shane’s next, then Nick. Nick may be the youngest, but since he turned fifteen, he’s been the biggest. He’s about four inches taller than me.”

  “But you’re so tall.”

  “He’s taller. And bigger.”

  “Eats too much?”

  “No. Well, he eats a shitload, but he’s muscular. Built like a weightlifter, except that he doesn’t do anything like that. He was just genetically destined to be strong and big. Our mom’s father was a big guy, too, so I’ve heard. But he was mean. A fighter.”

  “And Nick’s not?”

  “Nah. His size is so intimidating, he doesn’t need to fight. He’s a teddy bear, really. And he’s met a girl.” I smiled, thinking of how vulnerable Nick had been when Jade rejected all his apologetic gestures. “I think he’s in love.”

  She rubbed her body against mine. “You skipped over Shane.”

  “Shane.” What could I say. “He used to be fun, the one up for mischief—and he’d take a bullet for any one of us. We’re all loyal, but Shane…” I shook my head, thinking about how he’d done hard time rather than turning in Nick. “He’s a great guy, but he’s got problems.”

  “What kind of problems?”

  “Addiction problems.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

  “We’re trying to get him help.”

  “And you and your brothers are all in business together.”

  “Yup.”

  “That must be so nice.”

  “In some ways, sure.”

  “How did you know it was what you wanted to do?” she asked.

  “Working with my brothers?”

  “That, and being an importer. How did you choose it?”

  “I didn’t really choose it. Family business.”

  “But you enjoy it.” Her hand circled my abs.

  I drew a long breath. “You know… Not really. I mean, I like dealing with people, and solving problems. I love that aspect of my business. And I like that it’s not routine or boring, but lately…” My voice trailed off. This was headed into dangerous territory.

  I was an accomplished massager of truth when it came to negotiating deals, but I didn’t like lying to Faith. Not about things that were real. Not about me.

  “Lately what?” She looked up at me, eagerly anticipating my answer.

  “I’ve been thinking about making a change, I guess. Trying something new.” Nick wanted out of the business, and Dillon had hinted the same. They’d got me thinking about it, too. Or maybe it was Faith.

  “New? Like what?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  She sighed. “I can relate to that.”

  “Really?” I glanced over. “You seem so sure of what you want.”

  “Not anymore.” Her head shook, and her hair lifted into a sunlit cloud around her, a halo.

  Guilt flooded through me. “Look, Faith, this whole sin thing. It was just an experiment, right? You’re not going to turn away from your calling.”

  “I’m not sure I ever had one.”

  Elation flashed for an instant, then twisted with dread. She might not become a nun?

  She’d hinted at that last night, too. The idea that this thing between us, the chemistry, the attraction, could ever develop into something real, something lasting…

  I was shocked at how excited and hopeful that made me. But guilt weighed down my hope.

  Even if I could pull off a lasting relationship—with her, or with anyone—I’d be responsible for taking her away from the Church. If I weren’t already going to Hell, that would clinch it. And even if Hell didn’t exist, it still made me a shitty person.

  You’d think I’d be used to that feeling.

  “I haven’t been totally honest with you.” The words were out of my mouth before I decided to say them.

  “About what?” Her fingers drifted lower, and I gritted my teeth to keep from moaning.

  “I’ve done things that… I’ve done things that aren’t exactly legal.”

  “What kinds of things?” She looked up into my eyes. “None of us is without sin.”

  “I’ve done more sinning than most, Sister.”

  “I’m not a sister.”

  “I know.”

  She pushed up onto her elbow and lifted her sunglasses up to sit on her head. I lifted mine too, nothing between us, my truth in all its raw ugliness exposed.

  “If you want to confess your transgressions, you can. I won’t judge you.” Her fingers slid over my chest. “But you don’t have to. I know what kind of man you are.”

  I nodded.

  “Have you ever hurt anyone?” she asked softly. “Killed anyone?”

  “No.” I shook my head vigorously, and her body relaxed against mine.

  “Are you a drug dealer?”

  “No. Never. We never go near anything like that.”

  “Then what?”

  My hand slid up and down her back, wanting more than anything to pull her into a kiss—one that would stop this conversation. “Our family business. Shit.” I shook my head. “Most of the stuff we sell is hot.”

  “Hot?”

  “Stolen.” The word burned coming out.

  “Oh.” She frowned, and the quiet seemed endless. “But you don’t feel good about it. Not anymore
.”

  I swallowed hard as I nodded.

  “Then why do it?”

  Her question was simple, and so was the answer. “It’s all I’ve ever known. All any of us knew. Our Da—he’s in prison—he was always a thief. His da before him. Da trained us. I barely remember a time when I wasn’t involved in some kind of scam.” Shame scorched through me, and I looked away.

  Hand on my cheek, she pulled my face back around. “You didn’t have a choice.”

  I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that. Not always. Maybe when I was kid, but I always knew it was wrong. I didn’t need to go along with it. Even when I was a kid, I knew what we were. I knew the Downeys were scum.”

  Her hand lifted up to my face. “That’s not true.” She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, her eyebrows drawing closer together. “The clothes. You bought those, right? The hotel room? This trip?” Her voice got higher as she asked.

  “It’s all legit. Every penny.”

  “And you’re done with it. The stealing.”

  I nodded. I was done with it. I hadn’t realized it before, but I made the decision in an instant.

  Her head landed soft on my chest, and she slowly stroked my pecs on the other side. “We can’t help our pasts. They’re part of who we are, but we can’t change them or take them back. All we can do is move forward, right?”

  “I guess.”

  “I was pushed into a family business, too.”

  “How’s that?”

  “My plan to become a nun. That was like joining my family business. It’s what Mother wanted. No one even asked what I wanted. Not even me. I never even thought to consider it.”

  “And what do you want?” I risked a quick peek at her.

  She sighed, her breath hot as it slid over my chest. “I honestly don’t know. That visit from my aunt, the things she told me about Mother about my grandfather. It changed everything.”

  “How’s that?”