Love by the Slice

by Heather Young-Nichols

  But Gio wouldn’t do anything to hurt us. Or at least, I didn’t think he would. I wasn’t sure I actually knew him anymore which twisted the knife even further into my back.

  I drove to work that day. The first sign things weren’t the same because it wasn’t something I’d normally do, but I wanted to be able to bolt at a moment’s notice without anyone being able to catch me. And we waited.

  Going stir crazy, I told Gramps I wanted a quick walk on the beach to clear my head and to not do anything until I got back. I needed to be there. This involved the restaurant, but it was also about my life.

  Not gone more than ten minutes, I got back to the break room and began rummaging through my locker when Gio showed up.

  “You’re not on this morning, are you?” he asked reaching to touch my cheek. I shied away leaving his fingers grasping at air. His brow dropped with a look of confusion. Once he got a look at me he knew. “What’s wrong?”

  Luckily, I didn’t have a chance to answer before Gramps and Joe joined us as if my increased heart rate called out to them. Without saying a word, Gramps tossed the photos of Gio with the other women across the table, almost over the edge onto the floor. Gio reached down to stop it in time.

  He kept his back turned to me so I couldn’t see his facial reaction as he flipped quickly through the pictures. Gramps left out the articles, but Gio had a sharp mind and could figure out we knew everything. Joe folded his arms over his chest, flexing those muscles that’d been there as long as I could remember. He loomed kind of imposing and intimidating in case Gio got any ideas. My one regret at that moment being I stood closer in proximity to Gio than to Gramps and Joe. I didn’t fear him but I didn’t want to be near him. I was afraid I’d want to comfort him in some way which I knew to be a crazy thought given what I’d found out he’d done to me.

  Gio twisted slightly to cast those dark eyes over his shoulder at me. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing the pain in mine, instead choosing to stare at the floor. Yet, I tracked every movement with peripheral vision. He paused, taking in everything from the look on my face to tilt of my posture, knowing me well enough to read me.

  “I think it goes without saying—you’re fired.” Gramps’ voice maintained a hard edge drawing Gio’s attention to him. “Effective immediately.”

  “I’d like …” he sighed glancing back at me. I wasn’t sure if he addressed me, Gramps or both of us. “I’d like a chance to explain.”

  “Bianca, why don’t you head home?” He motioned toward the door with his head. He wanted me gone for whatever else would come. Whether Gio went quietly or with the fight of his life, Gramps wanted me to be the one to leave and not stand there dazed watching the man I loved walk away. And it was going to happen.

  Shutting the locker, I put a little more oomph behind it than needed, before stalking slowly toward the door.

  “Bianca,” Gio pled, honestly pled with that one word.

  My entire body froze, every muscle turned to stone with a chill I didn’t know a person could feel and turned to him without my permission. I couldn’t have a big blow up with him in our restaurant, our place of business, our livelihood. My eyes locked on his and from the looks of things he understood what he saw. I couldn’t go back.

  “You got this stuff from Gemma?” he asked as I continued to glare. He nodded slowly as if my non-answer confirmed his suspicion which I suppose it did, but I wasn’t going to throw her under the bus when she tried to be a good friend.

  I just walked away.

  Of course, I’d be grilling Gramps for details later, but for now, I had to get away. I almost wished I would’ve walked because I could run some energy and emotion off instead of keeping it all inside. Locking myself in my apartment seemed like the best idea. But my place became too lonely.

  Instead, I called Bailey and told her everything. She cursed like the worst sailor on leave through every detail of the story. Then offered to put a hit on Gio. I told her it wouldn’t be necessary but I appreciated the thought. Even offered to do it herself, but again, I said no. The only thing she offered that I could consider was for her to come over. I wanted that, needed my best friend’s shoulder to cry on because, at some point, there would be tears even if I hated crying over a guy.

  Without knowing how the rest of the day would unfold, other than being pretty sure Gio would show up eventually, I told her I’d let her know. Wanting to sit on the couch didn’t work out well either because we’d made love on the thing. Sex. We had sex, I reminded myself. I needed to put some perspective on the situation but it was hard. I’d loved Gio like I’d never loved anything and probably would never again but I couldn’t be sure he actually loved me even if he said. By the looks of it, he may have said it to a lot of people. Those words may hold no meaning to him.

  I expected to cry, but for whatever reason, nothing happened. Too stunned to feel what was happening and too spaced out, it wasn’t until a knock on the door brought me back to reality that I realized the sun had started to set. I’d spent the entire day sitting in an oversized chair in my living room. My back protested when I got up to answer the door, with a sneaking suspicion as to who would be standing on the other side.

  I wasn’t disappointed.

  “Can I talk to you? Please.” Gio asked quietly, head hanging with an arm leaning against the jamb. He looked defeated and sad. But I wanted to kick my own ass because I shouldn’t have noticed or cared about him looking sad.

  But I was also torn. I didn’t want to let him in and let the ugly happen but also knew I had to. We needed to end things officially. If not for him then for me. The entire day had been spent with one question after another racing through my head and if he knew what was good for him, he’d answer them all. Without answering, I stepped aside to open the door wider, letting him pass.

  Everything had changed with him. Gio had the cocky swagger seen only in guys who looked like him. Everybody movement usually exuded confidence. But not anymore. His shoulders slumped as he passed me, there was nothing cocky in anything he did and his eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, had become a dull surface of sadness. Well, I was sad too and I had more right to be.

  He came to a stop leaning against the couch. I took a spot against the kitchen table but there wasn’t enough distance between us because I could still feel him on every surface of my body. There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be breaking that ice.

  “I didn’t think you’d let me in,” he started. “Now I don’t know what to say.” He sighed and his whole body deflated. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Bianca. I wanted to tell you everything … I don’t even know what you know.”

  “I have questions.” My voice broke from the dryness of not speaking for hours. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, half went down without taking a breath. Then I went back to my perch against the table. “Were you sent here by The Trinity Corporation?”

  He nodded unable to look me in the eye.

  “Is that what I am to you?” I spat, praying my voice wouldn’t crack. I’d resolved not to cry in front of him about this, but hell it got hard. “Gio! Am I your fucking job?”

  “No! Bianca, no.” He almost took a step toward me but perhaps the look on my face stopped him cold. Still skeptical, I figured my face showed that too because he closed his eyes longer than a blink, sighed then kept talking. “At first, yes.”

  “Explain how this works. Come on, Gio. Man up. Give it to me straight. I want all the gory details.” I didn’t want them but needed them. I had to know what this all meant to him. Secretly, I hoped I’d meant at least a little something.

  Slumping his shoulders even further, Gio shifted his weight until he sat on the edge of the couch. If I wasn’t utterly pissed and hurt, I’d almost feel sorry for him. He looked broken. I was broken. What right did he have to look like a kicked puppy? He did the breaking. All I did was fall in love with the jerk.

  “They send me in. When they want to buy a mom and pop shop who don’t wa
nt to sell, they send me in.”

  “They?”

  “My parents. I’m supposed to go in and—”

  “Make some pathetic girl fall in love with you.”

  His head snapped up and his eyes raged at my accusation, but from where I was standing, it had to be the likely conclusion.

  “No. I don’t … Bianca, I’m supposed to go in, get people to trust me, to like me, make me part of their inner circle. Then when the final offer comes in, I’m part of the conversation and I’m supposed to ‘encourage’ them to sell.” Cocking my head to the side, I narrowed my eyes to tell him I didn’t believe that he’d told me the whole story. I’d read the blogs. “Yes, sometimes … a lot of the times I played the ‘boyfriend’ role.”

  Meaning he slept with them all—I could read between the lines.

  “Does it work?”

  “Usually.”

  Nothing he said made me feel any better. He didn’t sound proud that he was good at his job which did make me feel a little better. Not better exactly but a little less humiliated, I guess.

  “So, part of this ‘inner circle’ thing includes seducing someone in the family.”

  “When they choose me it’s because … the owners have a daughter … ” He was squirming. Actually squirming.

  “Or granddaughter?”

  “Or granddaughter. It’s an … easy way in.” The minute the words fell out of his mouth, mine dropped open and he regretted his word choice by wincing. There went the chance of less humiliation. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  Turning my back to him, I needed a minute to compose myself. I was an easy way in. That stung. And got my hackles up even more. I spun quickly startling Gio with my movement.

  “Do you fuck them all?”

  He flinched.

  “I said I wanted all of it.”

  His hands raked over his face like he wanted to scratch a layer of skin off. The quick nod of his head would’ve gone unnoticed if I weren’t studying him intently.

  “How many?” He didn’t look like he’d answer. “How many, asshole?”

  “Nineteen. Including you.” His voice went back to low, the one he used to make it hard to hear him.

  “Nineteen? You’ve had sex with nineteen girls? I mean, I assume they’re all girls.” Low blow, but I didn’t care even if I knew he was completely hetero.

  “Twenty.”

  My eyebrows shot up.

  “The first wasn’t … an assignment exactly. And you aren’t either.” A hand rubbed his jaw roughly. “That’s why I couldn’t have sex with you the first time. You were already so much more.” He wasn’t allowed to say things like that. To try to make me feel special after everything instead of the notch on his belt I turned out to be.

  All the energy drained from my body. I needed him out of my apartment, out of my life if I had any hope of recovery. I fell hard for him. Absolutely completely fell for him to the point I began to wonder if recovery could even be a possibility. But I needed him out. I had a question first.

  “Why didn’t you?”

  His eyes locked with mine as he inched closer although I couldn’t be positive he even knew he’d started moving.

  “Why didn’t you ‘encourage’ us to sell to The Trinity Corporation? You had plenty of opportunities.”

  “That’s the last thing I want.”

  “Why? I thought that was your purpose in life.” My arms hung in the air around me. I was being mean. He deserved it.

  “I told you I fucking love you, Bianca,” he yelled then steadied himself. He had to know yelling at me wasn’t going to get him anywhere. “I … the last thing I want is you anywhere near them.”

  Giving my best smile, which turned out small and likely pathetic, I said, “I guess that’s not something you need to worry about anymore.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Without realizing it, I’d moved to the door and opened it, indicating our time together was over. Every emotion I’d ever known or read about ran through my body at a breakneck speed not seen even by the fastest roller coasters. My body hummed like my blood bubbled too close to the surface and it made me a bit lightheaded. I wanted him gone, erased from my life forever. I deserved better. But part of the crushing feeling in my chest came from knowing I’d never see him again. I was such a basket case.

  When he cupped each side of my face with his hands, it felt like his hands caused a shock against my skin. As if an electric current flowed through him into me. The energy was palpable as I became torn once again between wanting this to all be a bad dream so he could hold me the way he had in the past and the need for him to get the hell out. I only let him touch me for a second because I knew it’d be the last time. The last time the softness of his skin against mine would sharply contrast how strong those hands were.

  My eyes filled with tears and lunch climbed its way back into my throat. I was going to throw up again.

  “Please.” My voice shook more than I wanted. “Don’t touch me. Please.” It sounded like begging and kind of was because he I didn’t want him affecting me the way I knew he could. That would just make it harder and he shouldn’t be able to do that anymore. The feeling almost had me not caring he’d had sex with me because his parents told him to.

  “This isn’t over,” he said dropping his hands before stepping one foot out the door. “I’m going to fix this.”

  Doubt it. This was too big to recover from. And I felt like I couldn’t trust what he said to me. He’d hidden the truth from me for months.

  His eyes were on me, I could feel them. But I wouldn’t allow myself a last glance his way. Instead, I shut the door, leaned my back against it and slid down until my butt hit the floor hard enough to hurt. I barely felt it. Finally, tears filled my eyes and steeling myself like I had earlier, melted away into the heartbroken girl I really was. A sob wracked my body taking most of my focus and I hoped he left right away so he wouldn’t be able to hear me. Because I’m pretty sure my parents heard me in Michigan. Then there was another and another and even the hand I had clasped over my mouth did nothing to leave me a shred of dignity.

  I cried as I never had before. Screamed words of pain into the air in hopes of making myself feel a tiny smidgen better, but in reality, my heart shattered more. I only accomplished in making my throat feel like it had been set on fire and about to bleed. I hated the loss of control but the outside directly mirrored my inside.

  It all fucking sucked.

  ***

  I must’ve cried myself to sleep because I woke in the same spot curled into a ball on the floor. Every bone in my body screamed when I uncurled and protested, even more, when I forced them into action. I needed to shower and get to work. Even my head felt far too heavy for my neck to support. I couldn’t remember if I was actually on the schedule but I couldn’t sit alone in my apartment all day thinking about Gio. I had to get used to living with the weight in my chest because it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

  My hair looked like something curled up and died in it. Strands going in every direction and I wasn’t looking forward to working out the knot on the back of my head. My eyes were puffy and dry from all the crying. I looked so bad I’m pretty sure small children would run away in terror. Felt it too.

  But I cleaned up pretty well and only those who knew me would be able to tell I spent half the night crying my eyes out like a girl. And Bailey would be pestering me all day if I stayed home. I wanted to deal with reliving it all later. I had to go.

  “Bianca-bear,” Gramps called as I passed the office in a rough voice he used to reprimand me with when I was a kid and I couldn’t care about him calling me that. “You’re not on today.” His voice dared me to argue but it wasn’t going to work this time.

  “I want to work.” I leaned against the door jamb.

  “Rough night?” I didn’t need to answer. “Gio came over.”

  “How did you—”

  “I saw him. He was sitting outside your door last night and still
there when I left this morning.”

  “What?” Dear god, he heard me. Heard every sob, every tear and stayed even when I’d clearly fallen asleep. Why would he do that? I’d told him to go.

  “I wouldn’t count him out just yet, Bianca.” Not knowing what he meant, I chose to ignore it. I knew he’d talked to Gio yesterday after I left and now I wanted to know what he said but didn’t think my heart could handle any more right then.

  With that, he turned back to the work on his desk and I filled my day with customers and pummeling poor unsuspecting dough. It felt good, though. Better than anything else would have. But I couldn’t stay. I felt antsy, on edge, like any little thing would set me off. Which was not the best mood to be in when customers were involved.

  Sticking out the entire day, I knew I had to get out of there for a while. Go for a drive or something. The next morning, I did. I left before the sun rose intending to take a few hours to myself and try not to let Gio invade my brain. The last part I failed miserably at. He was there. Every moment we spent together replayed as I searched for signs of something wrong in our relationship. Something should have tipped me off if he’d come to town with a nefarious purpose. Even then I didn’t see anything. Not one indication of him being anything other than my boyfriend. What a joke.

  When I first took off, I didn’t have a destination in mind. I wanted space and time, at least enough to not have to face anyone else like Bailey or, god forbid, Nick, who I knew would be calling the second Bailey thought to tell him about my predicament.

  It wasn’t until I hit the state line I knew where I had headed without realizing it. I wanted to go home. Gramps would always be home but I wanted my mom and dad. Downside was, I obviously didn’t pack for a road trip but clothes could be purchased.