The Avatars Series: Books 1-3

by Blackwood, Lisa

  As if the focus of her thoughts caught his attention, he stirred from his lethargy.

  “Lillian?” he asked and cracked an eye open, his voice sounding a touch confused and groggy with sleep. He didn’t bother to lift his head from her shoulder. “Where am I? I feel strange.”

  “Rest my love, all is well and we are safe for the time being.” Though that was probably a lie, she thought as she looked at what the collar had wrought.

  He huffed out a contented snort and slumped farther to the side. Enough that only a little push was required to get him to roll off her and onto his side. She disentangled their limbs and slowly sat up, taking a quick inventory as she did.

  She ached in a few interesting places, and that wasn’t really a surprise. However, the faint streaks of blood on her thighs made her glad Gregory wasn’t awake to see. He never handled the sight of her blood very well, and somehow, she was certain he would blame himself for every little drop.

  He would never forgive himself for this, she knew. She worried this event might actually kill a small part of him. He held duty and loyalty in such reverence, she knew he’d see what happened as a personal failure on his part. Then an even more troubling thought surfaced. Would he believe he’d just raped his Sorceress?

  She replayed what had happened in her mind. Was it rape? Gregory might think so. She knew him well enough to know that he’d blame himself for centuries. This night would certainly haunt her for many nights to come, but did she see it as rape? Perhaps, but not as herself as the sole victim. Gregory was compromised by the siren’s enchantment through no fault of his own, and if she’d just allowed him to take her back to the siren, none of this would have happened. She’d known the stakes and the risks if things went badly. Oh, and they had. But she might still be able to avert complete disaster if she acted quickly.

  “Gregory,” she called gently. His one ear swung around to listen, but he didn’t open his eyes or otherwise move. She touched the tattoo encircling her own throat and loathed herself. It was quickly becoming a familiar feeling. “It is important that when you wake you don’t remember anything that happened here in this meadow with any clarity, nor will you remember that we became mates.”

  Gregory made a worried little growl at her demands. Lillian was quick to stroke his mane to sooth him.

  “It won’t change the fact that I am your mate, and I love you more than life, but this is to protect you, to keep you strong so that you may better protect me in turn. I need you strong and undivided in your convictions. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” he breathed out on a sigh and drifted into what appeared to be a deep, restful sleep.

  She and Gregory had promised to tell each other everything, to abstain from telling lies. Would omissions count as lies?

  Yes. But just this once more she would omit something. Oh, he might figure it out. His heightened senses might scent the truth or he might read the emotions on her face, but in the end the risk justified the means. They both needed Gregory strong and his faith intact if they hoped to defeat the Lady of Battles in the coming months.

  She rested a hand on her bare stomach. And if something more became of this than another one of her mistakes, well, she’d just deal with the consequences.

  Surely she wouldn’t conceive just from this one time? The odds were against it. The only thing that kept complete and total panic at bay was that presently she wasn’t the Sorceress. Her hamadryad tree had that honor. She was merely Lillian, not an Avatar capable of birthing a monster with god-like powers. And besides, in the past Gregory had broken his celibacy on a few rare occasions to beget a child on another. He’d even said that she’d done the same thing at least once.

  And those times had never brought down the wrath of the Divine Ones. Surely this time would be no different if the worst did happen?

  Lillian shook herself out of her revelry. What was she doing? There was probably almost no chance of her getting pregnant. She had greater concerns to deal with at the moment. Like what to do about the collar tattoos, Tethys, her parents, and the Riven. Oh and there was the small problem about what to do with the naked gargoyle asleep next to her.

  Somehow she had to keep him from finding out the extent of her mistake.

  Well, to start, she’d just have to hide the evidence. She’d already done what she could to keep him from remembering. Though she didn’t know if that would be enough. Gregory was good at ferreting out the truth. And there was no hiding the collars.

  Then again, he might be so angry over the collars, that he’d completely overlook the foggy, dream-like events that led up to the collaring, and never think to find out what other events might have occurred afterward.

  But he certainly wouldn’t mistake it for a dream if she didn’t get them cleaned up and the evidence washed away quickly. She untied her scarf-like top and dropped it next to her discarded loincloth. A glance at Gregory showed him still sleeping. She didn’t dare go far, or as past situations had shown, he would wake if she strayed too far from his side.

  Lifting her muzzle into the air, she scented the surrounding meadow, this time looking for a water source. The only water within the needed radius was a small, brackish little pool, home to a few bog plants and an assortment of amphibians. The boggy smell was enough to make her eyes water, and when she stalked through the muddy edges into deeper water, the muck proved to be worse than the water alone.

  She splashed herself with liberal amounts of the pond water. To call it a bath would be a gross injustice as she came out far dirtier than she went in. However, the pond water, and the mud now sticking to her lower extremities, certainly performed the function she wished.

  It was doubtful that she’d be able to smell anything other than the little pond for days, no matter how many times she showered. Jaws gapping, she breathed through her mouth in a desperate effort to defuse the retched stench, only to snap her jaws back together after the first breath. She could smell it and taste it combining on the back of her tongue in a glorious combination that might just fell her enemies.

  She gave herself a shake, sending drops of water and pond muck flying, and then walked back to Gregory and her discarded clothing. She donned her beaded loincloth. One of the right-side sashes was now shorter than the other, but she rigged it so it would hold together. Then she tackled the scarf-like top, which hooked on one of her horns. Flicking her mane out of the way, she settled it behind her head and twisted the fabric around front to crisscross it over her breasts and then back around to tie under the base of her wings.

  It wasn’t until she had her own tail, with a matching set of wings and horns, that Lillian had truly come to understand Gregory’s hardy dislike of clothing.

  That done, she couldn’t ignore it any more. “Oh gods, that smell.” She almost felt sorry for what she was going to do next. With a delicate shudder, she returned to the pond’s edge and scooped up generous handfuls of the muck, then returned to where Gregory still rested. After another half-hearted apology, she proceeded to smear his lower extremities with the mud in such a way it would look like he’d chased her through a bog.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  He awoke by degrees, fighting off sleep as if it was one of his more insidious adversaries. It clung to his mind, almost dragging him back to the land of slumber more than once. With a mental snarl, that in the waking world might have been a sleepy mumble at best, he shook off the clinging tendrils of sleep, and his mind finally sharpened enough his other senses started to relay information to him.

  That part of him, buried deep in his brain where his soul resided, the one that always knew where Lillian was and what her condition was, began feeding him details about her. She was close at hand, her mind alert, scanning the world around her for dangers while also keeping an eye on him. There was no panic or fear or pain, no urgent need for him to wake to defend them—his weary body tried to convince him that he could nap for a little while longer.

  He snapped fully alert then. No, that wasn
’t his body’s weariness trying to woe him back to sleep. It was most certainly the drags of an enchantment, one very powerful one, too. Ah, yes Tethys, a demigod of the ocean. The spell had been broken. Only a few fragments remained, but it was no wonder why he’d slept. That spell was no trifling thing.

  Another scan of Lillian showed she wasn’t under the siren sway, though there was some residue from where Tethys had tried to enslave her. Shame flared to life in his heart, remembering how he’d chased Lillian down like a deer. Well, not a deer, she’d put up a fight worthy of any gargoyle, and he was a little proud she’d been able to out run him for well over two hours. Her speed and stamina would only grow with practice and time.

  Hearing was the next sense to sharpen, and he tracked Lillian as she rose from her crouch and paced over to him. He detected another emotion he hadn’t noticed earlier. Anxiety. He reached farther and found her mind, her thoughts and emotions coming to him.

  Her distress and worry was over something she’d done—worry that he’d be angry and never forgive her for a rash mistake.

  Gregory jerked awake fully, bolting upright to discover what was causing his beloved so much stress.

  And he choked on his first deep breath.

  The second wasn’t any better.

  Glancing down at himself, he found he was coated in a layer of the vilest smelling mud he’d ever had the misfortune to encounter in all his lifetimes. Merciful Father, what had he been doing? Rolling in a bog?

  His gaze sought Lillian, looking for an answer to this, since he didn’t remember how it had come about.

  Come to think of it, there were a few other holes in his memory. He remembered the siren, and hunting Lillian, capturing her and then losing her—to another gargoyle! Lillian’s parents had come to her aid. Against him.

  Had she called them?

  He feared she must have.

  “Hello, how are you feeling?” Lillian asked, her voice held an edge of uncertainty.

  “Like I’ve been stomped on by the Lord of the Underworld,” he answered her truthfully. What had happened? He hardly dared to breathe, for more than the obvious reason. It couldn’t be good if Lillian was acting skittish around him.

  “Fancy you should mention him. He might be the only one able to save us from my stupidity.”

  Lillian ducked her head and swallowed hard, he could see the muscles working in her throat and could smell her guilt even over the stench of the bog mud. Why in light’s name was he covered in the sticky crap?

  He refocused his attention on Lillian and said, “Tell me what has happened,” instead of the ‘what have you done, now?’ that he wanted to ask. Over and over, throughout their many lifetimes, he’d always bowed to her command in every facet of their lives except when it came to her protection. In that, his word was law. And she’d always bowed to his demands without question.

  But not in this lifetime. This time around she repeatedly tried to protect him when she judged him to be endanger, every time at the expense of her own safety. On one hand, he secretly admired her for she valiantly defended those she loved, but on the other hand, she was going to give him a stroke. He’d played with the idea of tying her up to keep her out of trouble upon a few occasions this lifetime already.

  By her expression, she’d found her way into another great steaming pile of trouble.

  Perhaps he should put serious thought into tying her up for her own protection.

  Lillian’s eyes narrowed.

  “I caught that one,” she said with a spark of anger, then seemed to change her mind and came over and hugged him. “Maybe you should in the future if we survive this.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “You know,” she said in a weak voice. “Tie me up for safety’s sake. You’re going to hate me, and I’ll deserve that hate.”

  He was about to say that was nonsense, but she tilted her chin up and brushed her mane back from her neck and he saw it.

  It circled her neck, the golden glow of its spell shimmered ever so slightly in the moonlight.

  ****

  With equal parts shock, horror and disbelief, Gregory reached up and touched the twin to Lillian’s tattoo where it circled his own neck. At his touch, the wardspells flamed briefly but didn’t cause pain or otherwise incapacitate him.

  The stirring of power was more of a warning. One Gregory acknowledged by moving his fingers away from the slightly raised skin.

  “Lillian,” he pitched his voice low, holding steel in the tone. He needed answers not evasions, or worse, apologies. “Tell me what happened. Tell me everything. Leave out no details. It might mean our survival.”

  Lillian swallowed nervously, but she started to speak, haltingly at first, and then with more certainty. “I’ll tell you what I remember and what I think I know.” She paused and fidgeted with the tattoo around her own neck. “There were times when things became foggy. The siren almost rolled me under with her tidal power more than once. I only escaped because you fought, and she had to turn all her attention back to you or risk losing us both.”

  What she told him coincided with the few snippets he did remember when he wasn’t fully under Tethys’s control. He still didn’t relax since nothing she’d said even remotely hinted at an explanation about the powerful weaving circling their necks.

  She continued her tale, and Gregory interrupted at key parts for clarification. A hollow pit opened up in his middle where his stomach should have resided. He’d never been ill a day in any of his lives, but for the first time he thought he just might discover what it felt like to heave up one’s last meal.

  Lillian described how she’d escaped from the siren through the help of a spell laid upon her by her grandmother.

  Gregory’s emotions churned within him, hopelessly out of his control—part guilt that he hadn’t been strong enough to fight off the siren’s spell, and part anger over the fact her grandmother had led Lillian into danger in the first place. What was Vivian thinking?

  “Why didn’t you stay away where you would have been safe? Why must you always act so rashly?” The words flowed out of him. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but more came flying out. “Had you only gone to ground somewhere, I would have remained as stone, out of the siren’s reach.”

  Lillian jerked like he’d slapped her. Then her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. With her tail flicking in agitation, her anger was impossible to miss. “Well forgive me for caring, I was concerned,” she snapped her teeth at him, her wings unfurrowing as if she prepared for a physical fight. “Tethys was enslaving everyone in sight.”

  “And you, what? Thought it would be a good idea to make it easier to get to me through you.”

  “You’re being an ass,” she said and whirled away from him and then spun around and slapped him on the chest. “How dare you judge me? If our positions had been reversed, you would have run to my side without a second thought, even if I’d been standing upon the steps leading up to the Lady of Battles’ bloody throne. So you don’t get to judge me for coming to your rescue.”

  “I protect you. It’s my purpose.”

  “Says who? Did the Father sit you down on his knee when you were a mere speck of power and tell you that was your role?”

  “It was implied!”

  “Ha. I call bullshit! We’re two halves of the same being, equal in power and purpose.” She smacked him along one arm for emphasis. “I bet in the beginning we were more similar than we were different. How could we not. We were one creature. Did our separate personalities develop over time? It makes sense in a way. You always choose to be born as a gargoyle, whereas, from what you’ve said in the past, I’m more varied in my choice of forms. You’re stuck in a rut. Always choosing to be a gargoyle, imbibing more and more of their nature into your own. Gargoyles are protective by their very nature, it’s hardwired into them, and it’s becoming hardwired into you. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me to my face without lying. Go on tell me.”

  “Why must you question everythin
g? Can’t you just do what you’re told?”

  “Do what I’m told? Like a child! Is that what you think I am? I’m twenty-one. By human standards, I am an adult. Start treating me like one.”

  Gregory slapped his ears flat against his mane. “I’ll start treating you as an adult when your actions show a rational, mature reasoning behind them. Choosing agents belonging to the Lady of Battles over Tethys is not a mistake my Sorceress would ever have made.”

  “Well, I’m not your Sorceress, am I? I don’t have her memories or her magic. I don’t even possess her soul at the moment. My hamadryad stripped me of all that. Even she didn’t think I was worthy.” Her voice quivered and she turned from him.

  “Lillian, it’s not…that’s not what I meant.”

  “But it’s still true. An ugly truth, but true all the same.”

  “No,” Gregory said, feeling again that sick heaviness in his middle, but for different reasons this time. His words had harmed her, and he would do anything to take back that pain. “Your spirit is beautiful. You’re brave, noble and protect those you love with everything within you. Perhaps you’re not, at present, the Mother’s Avatar, but you are and always will be my Sorceress.”

  Lillian turned back to him. “But I lack her power and we sorely need it.”

  She fell silent and so did he. In good faith, he couldn’t contradict her.

  “We’re supposed to be equals, Gregory. But we’re not.”

  He sighed, feeling cold seep into his body. “I know.”

  She gripped his chin and lifted it until his gaze was level with her throat. “I may not be the Mother’s Sorceress at the moment, but as a mature adult, I accept that this,” she touched the tattoo-like brand, “is one hundred percent my fault, and the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and that it might get us killed. I gambled and lost. Yep. My epic fail. But I had to try to get you away from Tethys. She was going to use you, use us, to kill humans by the millions.”