This Isn't You, Baby (War & Peace Book 4)

by K. Webster

He promised them.

  And they’re everywhere.

  “Good girl,” he praises, his words doing their part to turn me on as well.

  My orgasm takes hold of me, and when it subsides, his tongue works me into another one. I’ve ripped at his hair, tugged at my tits, and screamed in a mix of bliss and frustration.

  “I. Need. You—”

  His tongue pushes into me and the sensation is unlike anything I’ve ever encountered. I’m on the edge of another earth-shattering climax when he bites down on the top of my pussy with his tongue buried deep inside me.

  This time, I see white.

  Just white.

  The all-body-consuming, intense pleasure has stolen me from this reality and dumped me into another plane of existence. I ride out the glorious waves, one ripple after the other.

  And then I’m full.

  So full.

  A musky tongue is dancing with mine.

  The tiger is tearing me up.

  Marking me and owning me.

  Obliterating the sad girl and pulling the tigress from her ashes.

  “My Brie…”

  His musical words sear themselves into my soul.

  “Duvan.”

  I wake with a thundering in my skull and an exotic brown-eyed woman about my age staring at me. She gives me a shy smile over getting caught.

  “Um, hi,” I croak and absently pat the bed beside me. Duvan is gone.

  When she notices me looking for him, she frowns and shakes her head.

  “Did he leave?”

  She nods and smiles again. Then, she motions for me to follow her. With a groan, I slink out of bed. The air hits my bare flesh causing me to yelp out in surprise. Last night is a blur, but I’m naked and sore and hungover. Bits and pieces remain in my memory bank.

  I remember Duvan taking me to dinner.

  I remember him kissing me like he wanted to crawl inside of me.

  I remember his tongue.

  And then he took me.

  Closing my eyes, I recall the way his black eyes drank me in while he did things with his tongue I didn’t know were possible. Then, he crawled on top of me and drove into me with such strength, I thought he’d rip me in half.

  He was huge and he mauled me.

  And I liked it.

  I reopen my eyes to find the woman staring at my chest, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

  “I’m going to shower. I’ll be right out,” I blurt out and dart past her to the bathroom. Once inside, I get a look at myself in the mirror. I look like hell. My hair is sticking up in every direction, my eye makeup is smeared everywhere like I’m some rabid raccoon, and purple hickeys mark up my neck and breasts.

  Oh, Duvan, what have you done to me?

  My head is clear but it hurts like hell. Two days ago, I’d slept with someone whom I thought I loved. And he betrayed me in the worst possible way.

  Now?

  I’m going at it with my new husband like Ren didn’t matter.

  But he did matter.

  God, my heart hurts.

  I swallow down the emotion bubbling in my throat. Ren was a mistake. Duvan is my life now. He’s been nothing but good to me since I discovered we were to be married. I’ve been treated with respect and he’s pleasured me beyond my wildest dreams.

  Leave it all behind and focus on being happy. That’s what Duvan wants me to do. So I’m sure as hell going to try.

  After a long, invigorating hot shower, I’m thankful that the girl isn’t in my room when I come out. I dress in some light grey lounge pants and a loose black tank top sans bra. Duvan said I could dress however I wanted. It feels weird not to be putting on fancy dresses for Heath’s personal enjoyment.

  It also feels unusual being in the house without Duvan. I wonder why he left without waking me. Did he go to work? What exactly does a Colombian drug lord do? Does he go to a factory and watch them make cocaine? Does he drive to fields and oversee crops? I know nothing about drugs and their origin.

  But you liked them last night…

  Shame heats my cheeks and I slip my feet into a pair of flip flops before hurrying out of the room. If I dwell on certain things for too long, I feel guilty. And right now, I’m too exhausted for guilt.

  It’s time to be happy.

  Duvan’s house is gigantic and modern while still maintaining a country feel. Giant windows line the front and back of the house. The front overlooks a flat field and the back is nothing but thick trees, like you’d see in the rainforest. I know he has a barn and a workshop. He promised he’d take me to tour the entire property this week.

  A woman is humming a sad song as I enter the kitchen. It’s the same woman who woke me up. She’s pretty. A little taller than me. Most definitely from these parts. Her black hair has been braided neatly down her back and she wears a crisp uniform. As she fries up some bacon, I realize she must be our cook.

  We have a cook?

  “You didn’t have to cook anything. I could have had cereal,” I tell her.

  She turns to me and gives me a sweet smile. Then she wags her finger at me and tsks before going back to her cooking. I frown wondering why she doesn’t speak. Does she understand English?

  “I don’t know Spanish,” I tell her and then bite my lip.

  She turns off the stove and deposits the meat onto an already prepped plate of eggs and fruit. A smile graces her lips as she motions for the small bistro table in the kitchen. The woman seems so proud of her meal, so I sit and accept her generosity.

  “Thank you. What’s your name?” I question, taking a bite of the savory bacon.

  Her hand covers her mouth and her eyes drop to her feet. “O.”

  “O?”

  She nods and her eyes find mine again, twinkling with delight.

  “I’m Brie.”

  Her hand goes to her mouth again and she peeps out, “Beh.”

  “Brie.”

  “Beh.”

  I frown because I wonder why she doesn’t talk well. Finally, I just accept it and smile. “Yep, Brie.”

  She points at me and then pats her chest where her heart is and points upstairs. Then, her eyebrows pull together as if it’s a question.

  “Do I love Duvan?”

  Her smile is adorable and she nods. The excitement glittering in her eyes has me instantly warming to her.

  Thrusting my hand at her, I show her the sparkling diamond on my ring finger. “He’s my husband. We’re still getting to know each other.”

  She lifts her eyebrows as if she understands. Then she taps at the watch on her dainty wrist before tapping her chest and pointing upstairs.

  “With time I will love him?”

  This time when she smiles, she reveals perfect white teeth and nods. She seems positively pleased I understand what she’s saying.

  “Do you know when he will be back, O?”

  She simply shrugs her shoulders before scurrying over to clean up. I gobble up the delicious breakfast. It helps for the massive hangover I’m nursing. The shower and the food helped but my body still aches—every muscle, my head, and inside as well. Not just where Duvan took me but my heart.

  My heart hurts.

  Sad memories of Dad and Mom have been brought to the surface. Knowing Ren’s sister was the person to kill my mom and seduce my dad is a wound on my poor heart that won’t stop bleeding.

  O leaves the room once she finishes up. After I eat, I clean my dishes and roam the house looking for her. I find her in a small room with a tiny desk. The room is painted sunshine yellow and has a window that overlooks the barn. I can see some chickens pecking at the dirt. She fiddles with a laptop and I realize it’s my laptop.

  When she stands back up, she motions around the room and then points at me, grinning.

  “This is my office?” I question.

  She nods and then surprises me by pulling me in for a hug.

  “Thank you,” I murmur, patting her back.

  Once she leaves, I sit down at the chair. The room is f
ree from decoration and a little trickle of excitement begins to build at the prospect of making it mine. I want Duvan to come home, so I can thank him for making me feel welcome.

  I open my computer and find an email from Duvan.

  Tigress,

  I see Luciano has shown you to your office. My American Express Black Card is under the laptop. Feel free to shop online for anything you need. Also, you can use it to enroll and pay for tuition if you decide you want to go to Oscar’s university in the fall. I’m away dealing with business this morning, but I’ll be back soon. Last night was fun, mi amor. Dress comfortably, and I’ll show you something when I get back.

  - D

  I’m smiling as I finish his email. It’s surreal being here. I’m not sure what I expected marrying a drug lord, but it wasn’t this. It is romance and a feeling of belonging and happiness. I’d imagined cartel criminals and torture and filth.

  Not this.

  Not chickens outside my window.

  Not being treated like royalty.

  Not a pattering of hope in my chest.

  I start browsing for the courses at Oscar’s college when my Skype app chimes. Toggling over, I open it and accept the incoming call. As soon as it connects, Oscar’s handsome face fills the screen.

  “How are you, Mrs. Rojas?” he questions with a sad smile.

  My cheeks heat and I fight a grin. “I’m good. Beautiful country. Just looking up courses at your school. How’s everyone? Vee?”

  He leans back in the chair and swivels. Familiar pastel purple fills the screen. Oscar is in Vee’s room which means she’s probably listening. I wish we could patch things up.

  “Heath is still a dick as always. Vee and I have been hanging out the last couple of days. Feels weird without our third wheel.”

  I let out a sigh. “I miss you guys. You too, Vee,” I call out, hoping she’ll hear me. “When do you come back home?”

  Oscar shrugs his shoulders. “I’m trying to talk Vee into taking a trip there for the summer with me. But…”

  I frown. “She doesn’t want to see me.”

  Guilt draws his features into a pinch. “I told her we were just playing around. It’s not a big deal.”

  I wince at his words. “Actually, Oscar, it was a big deal. You and I both know it should have never happened. We were both confused and the moment got away from us. I’m with Duvan now and I’m happy.”

  Oscar forces a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “What about Ren?”

  The breath in my lungs expels out in a huff as if I’ve been sucker punched. “W-What about Ren?”

  His eyes dart over to Vienna somewhere in the room before he looks back at the screen. “I thought you were going to see him on the side.”

  I shake my head. “I broke up with him. I’m going to try and focus on my marriage.”

  I hear whispering and then he rolls his eyes. “You tell her,” he grunts before swiveling the screen around.

  Vee’s bright red hair fills the screen. Her pouty lips are parted in shock and her green eyes are wide. “Uh…”

  God, I miss my best friend.

  “Vee, I’m sorry.”

  She frowns but nods. “Okay.”

  We stare silently for a moment and Oscar sniggers. “You two are terrible at being mad at each other. I never seen two women more depressed in all my life. Make the fuck up already.”

  Vee and I both giggle and just like that the three of us are comfortable again.

  “Well,” Vee says with an exasperate sigh, “now that we’re over that, I was going to say that just because you’re trying to make it work with Duvan, doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with Ren. You two were friends before anything transpired between you. Brie, you don’t have family anymore, it’s just your friends in this life.”

  The ever-present ache in my chest cracks open and I feel as though I might start to cry at any moment. “You don’t understand. It isn’t that simple. He…”

  “He lied,” she says bluntly.

  “How do you know?”

  Oscar pops in next to her. “He came over. I don’t even like the guy and I felt sorry for him. He was devastated when he found out you were already gone.”

  My brows scrunch in confusion. “He told you?”

  They both nod and anger blooms in my chest.

  “So now you see why I had to end it. His sister killed my mother!” A sob rips from me and I shudder.

  “Oh, Brie,” Vee says sadly. “You need a hug.”

  “Luciano!” Oscar hollers.

  Footsteps patter into the office and then Luciano is hugging me from behind.

  “Why doesn’t she talk?” I question through my tears.

  Oscar’s face darkens into something murderous. “Why don’t you ask Duvan?”

  A flash of anger surges through me. Did Duvan do something to her?

  “Just talk to him,” Vee pleads. “Ren is just as heartbroken as you.”

  “He lied to me which means Calder lied to you too. It was all lies. That is not friendship. That is not love. It’s wrong,” I snap.

  Oscar shrugs and Vee shakes her head in disappointment.

  “Nobody is asking you to be buddy-buddy with him. Just let him apologize. He’s your friend. Let him be one. You’re all the way off in butt fucking Egypt,” she grumbles. “You need all the friends you can get.”

  I drag my gaze from theirs and stare off at the chickens. “I need to go.”

  As soon as I hang up on my friends, O, now known as Luciano, escorts me back to bed. I’m thankful when she hands me the same two pills Duvan gave me the night Ren broke my heart. They’re not the happy pills, and I’m thankful. I don’t want to be happy right now.

  I just want to forget.

  “I’m scared,” I tell him, my legs straddling the surfboard. Ren and I are both floating in the choppy waves as he tries to explain how surfing works.

  “There’s nothing to be scared of. It’s fun,” he assures me with a panty melting grin.

  God, he’s so hot.

  Vee and I’ve been off with him and his brother Calder a few times. They’re funny guys, and I know his brother likes Vee. It’s been nice to get out some after being under Heath’s thumb for so long. I don’t constantly see my mother’s dead body in my mind or remember how Dad hugged me goodnight the night of her death and how it had felt like goodbye. Looking back, I should have seen the signs. Begged him to wake up and realize a psychopath was in our home. Pled for him to not leave me.

  But that girl, Hannah McPherson, stole everything from me.

  I was too late.

  Too naïve.

  And now I’m all alone.

  “Do you ever wish you could go back in time?” I question. “Say something that you should have said from day one?”

  His eyes flash with understanding and he nods. “Every day.” He bores his steel blue eyes into mine, trying to convey unspoken words. It makes me wonder what he regrets in this life.

  “I miss my parents,” I say sadly.

  A wave crashes into us and we’re both knocked off our boards. When we resurface and swim back to shallower waters, Ren grabs my wrist. He pulls me to him and my heart rate skitters in my chest.

  Oscar always tries to kiss me, but I never let him. I wanted my first kiss to be special.

  Ren’s wet hand slides into my hair and he narrows his smoldering gaze at me. His nostrils flare slightly. I can see desire dancing in his eyes.

  Ren Loveland wants me.

  This time, my heart stops beating completely.

  I’ve been crushing on this boy since I first saw him mow our grass. He’s starred in countless dreams where he kisses me dizzy and steals me away. We’ve been out a few times as friends, but right now, nothing feels friendly at all.

  This feels like way more than friends.

  His mouth descends upon mine and his soft lips that taste salty like the Pacific crush against mine. He kisses me with a soft possessiveness that makes my heart kick start bac
k to life. I moan when his tongue slides against mine. A simple swipe where he tastes me for the first time. Ren tastes minty with a hint of salt—like kissing the ocean on Christmas day.

  I’m gasping for air by the time he releases me. His lips press one more soft kiss to my mouth before he pulls away. A satisfied half-smile plays on his lips.

  “I like kissing you,” he says and runs his thumb over my swollen bottom lip.

  I slide my palms up the front of his chest to his neck and give him a naughty grin. “So do it again.”

  “Wake up, mi amor.”

  I groan and attempt to roll away from the sound. But then, soft lips start kissing my neck. At first it is sweet. A peck here, a peck there. Until it becomes hungry. Duvan suckles on my flesh and bites hard enough to make an embarrassing sound come from my throat. He somehow speaks to a primal part of me. I squirm from his kisses and turn to face him in the bed.

  His dark hair is gelled and in one of his just-fucked hairstyles. Black irises, with a hint of purple, shimmer in delight. A slight dusting on his cheeks lets me know he skipped shaving this morning. With the afternoon sun pouring in, he’s absolutely gorgeous.

  If I were braver, I’d ask him to make love to me.

  After the day I’ve had, I just want to be held.

  “Stop giving me fuck me eyes,” he says with a pained groan. “I promised I’d show you something, and it wasn’t my dick I had in mind.”

  I laugh and it feels weird after all the sadness that had nearly consumed me earlier. “I wasn’t making faces at you.”

  His smirk is immediate. “You made the same face when I was between your legs last night. Before I pushed into you and made you mine.” He uses his thumb to swipe my bangs out of my eyes.

  I’m glad he’s back home. Earlier today, despite talking to my friends, I’d felt hollow and alone. Now I feel…

  Complete.

  “Nobody has ever done that to me before. It was…” I trail off, heat warming my cheeks.

  “Something you want to do again?” he quips with a black, arched eyebrow.

  I swat at him and he laughs.

  “What, mi amor? Just like those hips tell me you love to eat, those eyes tell me you loved having my tongue between your legs.”