This Isn't You, Baby (War & Peace Book 4)

by K. Webster

  “I’m eighteen now, Dad!” she snaps. “I can do whatever I want.”

  When he lets out a furious hiss and stomps toward her, Calder rises from his seat with both fists clenched. He’s poised and ready to attack.

  “It’s not safe,” he snarls, fury contorting his features.

  “But you let Brie marry Duvan and willingly sent her over there?!” Her voice is shrill and her bottom lip trembles.

  His eyes flicker over to Calder and then me. As if forgetting his daughter, he sneers. “Jesus, the goddamned lawn boy is here too? You all fast fucking friends now, Oscar? Does your brother know you’re hanging out with the asshole who fucked his wife?”

  Storming over to him, I grab the front of his button up shirt and pull him toward me. Spit showers over him as I hiss my words. “Does Duvan know you put your hands on his wife? Whipped her ass like she was some small child? You’re a sick fucking pervert, old man.”

  He jerks from my grip. Oscar steps between us while Calder grabs me by the shoulders.

  “Heath,” Oscar says in a clipped tone. “We’re going to see my brother and Brie. They’re family and our friends. This is nothing more than a trip to check and see how they’re enjoying married life. I’ll keep Vee safe.”

  A look of disgust washes over Heath’s face. “If one hair is harmed on her pretty red head, I’ll gut you in front of your entire family.”

  Oscar, always the easygoing dude, tenses. His shoulders square and he glares at the old man with a menacing stare. “I’m sure Papá would love to hear how his business partner just threatened his son.”

  Heath has the sense to look fearful. “Whatever. Keep her safe.”

  I relax when the asshole hugs Vee before slamming the door behind him.

  “What a dick,” Calder mutters under his breath.

  Oscar turns toward us and scowls. Worry paints his features. “Stick with me and you’ll be fine. But as a precaution, I want you both to have eyes on Vee at all times.”

  Calder folds his arms across his muscular—despite eating a shit-ton of sweets at every turn—chest and smirks at Oscar before winking at Vee. “Not a fucking problem.”

  “Beh.”

  Thundering in my head.

  “Beh.”

  I groan and attempt to swat away the person attempting to wake me from my glorious slumber. A sleep where I find peace. My parents. Our old beach house. Memories of a time when I was happy.

  “Beh!”

  “What?” I snap and drag an eye open.

  Luciano’s brown eyes are darting all over me as she seems to check me over. A single tear streaks down her cheek and her bottom lip quivers. “Beh.”

  My entire body aches and I’m shivering. Shivering so much it hurts. When I crack open the other eye, I glance down to see I’m naked and bruised. Sticky and dirty. I’m burning between my legs which causes horrible fragments to slice through my mind, cutting my soul into bits. I touch between my legs and let out a gasp when they come back into view bloodied.

  I’m panicked for a moment until I realize I must have started my period.

  “What time is it?” I murmur as I try to sit up. “How many hours have passed?”

  She frowns and holds up five fingers. A crack of thunder makes us both jump. “Five hours?”

  My eyes close again in an attempt to escape the neediness raking its way along the inside of every vein in my body. A craving—unlike any hunger pain I’ve ever experienced—grips my entire being. I’m a prisoner to this starvation for the drug that’s had me in its hold for what…twenty-four hours? I realize I have no clue as to what day or time it is. Nothing makes sense.

  “I need to get out of here,” I croak as I reopen my eyes. But even then, I’m letting my gaze flit over to the safe. Esteban is nowhere around. And while it’s relieving to know he won’t be using me anytime soon, I can’t help but panic.

  What if he doesn’t come back?

  How will I get the heroin into my body?

  “I need your help,” I manage to say as I sit up. As much as I’m starving for food and a shower, my other obsession strangles me and won’t let go. “I need you to help me.”

  She assists me in standing. But when we tug in opposite directions, she frowns. “Beh,” she whispers and shakes her head no at me.

  Fury surges through me and I tug from her grip. “You don’t understand,” I snap. I’m stumbling into the room and trying desperately to open the safe while she whines from behind me. I get the door open after several failed attempts and hunt for the heroin.

  “Where the fuck is it?!” I screech.

  Pill bottles crash to the floor as I search the depths of the safe. My hands shake violently and I attempt to remember the name of the pills Esteban told me about. Blood from my period runs down the inside of my thigh, but I don’t care. A loud grumble causes my stomach to seize up in pain, but I ignore it. The thundering in my head nearly matches the storm waging outside, but I push past it.

  Luciano tugs at me. “Beh!”

  “No! Just leave me alone!” I scream at her so loudly, I nearly throw up from exertion.

  She’s still attempting to pull me from the room when my eyes land on the dark, almost black, eyes of Esteban. He’s sitting on the couch with a knowing grin on his lips. I have no idea when he showed up but my heart skips several beats when I see him. Not from fear or disgust, but from excitement.

  Luciano freezes, her gaze trained on him, a horrified expression on her features. “Beh,” she says, a sob clogging her throat before she shakes her head no.

  But I’m long gone on a stumbling mission for the drugs. Esteban’s face lights up when he sees me. He wiggles a syringe at me. “Miss me, sourpuss?”

  I fall to my knees in front of him and offer my arm to him. “Yes.”

  His thumb caresses my sore flesh and he frowns. “We’ve blown all these out.” He points to my other arm. “And those.” Then, his hand waves at my thighs. “Those too.”

  Panic seizes me. “W-What do we do then?” My voice is a shriek and bile rises in my throat.

  “Luciano,” he barks at the woman I’d long forgotten. “Make Brie something to eat.”

  She sobs but scurries away to heed his instruction. Once she’s gone, he regards me with a soft smile. “I could put it here.” His thumb drags along the side of my throat. My pulse leaps at his touch. Fear should be playing with my emotions, but it’s long gone.

  Only need.

  Only desire for the heated bliss.

  Only a craving like I’ve never experienced.

  “Please,” I croak, my throat parched.

  He leans forward and suckles on my throat. His tongue is where I want the needle. I grip his thighs and let out a frustrated mewl. He roughly pinches my nipple as he kisses my neck. I’m not turned on, just desperate.

  “Esteban…”

  He sucks hard enough to leave a bruise before popping from my flesh. His dark eyes meet mine, twinkling with mad delight. “Just getting that vein nice and fat for you.”

  I try to focus on how he’s cooking the heroin. How he gets it into the syringe. How much. But my mind isn’t taking notes. It’s just counting down the seconds until it goes black again.

  “Come here,” he urges, tugging me into his lap. The blood from my period soaks him through his slacks, and I don’t even care. I just need him to do what he does best. Take me away.

  His fingers fist my hair and he jerks my head to the side. The bite of the needle hurts worse in my neck, but as soon as the heat surges into me, I roll my eyes into my head. I hear the jingle of his belt and vaguely comprehend him lying me down on the sofa on my belly. His cock is soon inside me.

  I don’t care anymore.

  I’m going, going, gone.

  “Tigress!”

  I blink open my eyes in confusion. Duvan doesn’t come to me in my dreams anymore. Is he here now? My words come out as a whimper and nothing more. The pumping into me has stopped.

  Screaming and screaming.


  Warm hands are on me, turning me over onto my side. My eyes wash over Luciano once before falling behind her.

  Duvan.

  Is he really here?

  Bruises along his cheekbone. Blood crusted around his nose. He’s soaking wet and wearing a hate-filled scowl as he rears his fist back. I hear a crunch and then another. It takes me a moment to realize he’s hitting Esteban.

  This is real.

  “N-No!” I hiss out, my voice unrecognizable to me.

  When Duvan’s eyes meet mine, I see a look that tears my soul right from my body. A heartbreaking expression that matched my own when I’d looked in the mirror after I found my mother’s dead body.

  Despair.

  Revulsion.

  Disgust.

  Hate.

  “I’m s-sorry,” I slur out. My body relaxes, the bliss taking full control of me finally.

  Luciano slides out of the way and Duvan falls to his knees beside the couch. His fingers spear through my tangled hair. I expect him to yell at me. To tell me what a whore I am. I’m shocked to tears when his full lips whisper over mine, gently kissing me.

  “My poor, tigress. I’m so fucking sorry,” he murmurs. The pain in his voice is like tiny knives cutting through me. It hurts me to hear them.

  “You came back for me.” I’m not sure if I thought the words or said them aloud. Either way, he understands because he nods. His lips press hard this time to mine. A choked sound escapes him before he pulls away. The strong, fearless Duvan has tears spilling down his tanned cheeks.

  “I’m going to kill him. For you,” he vows, his voice a cold rain washing over me. “I’m going to cut him, limb by limb, until he pays for what he’s done to you.”

  “Wha!” Luciano cries out.

  Duvan jerks away and utters a, “FUUUUUCK!”

  The rest is a blur.

  I don’t remember him coming back.

  Or him scooping me into his arms.

  Or the entire walk back to our bedroom.

  The warmth of the shower seemed to soothe my soul some but even it was a fading moment.

  Finally, I felt safe.

  I’m going to find the motherfucker and slit his goddamned throat. After I slice his cock off and feed it to him. Fucking Esteban. My damn brother.

  Not anymore.

  Rage quakes so violently through me, I fear I’ll wake Brie. It’s been at least ten hours since I cleaned her up and wrapped my body around hers in our bed. Ten hours where I couldn’t sleep but instead replayed the betrayal of my brother over and over again in my head.

  I did this.

  I brought her here knowing this could happen.

  But I’d been selfish. Thought I could protect her here. Thought I’d have her all to myself.

  How did this happen?

  One minute we’re playing pretend for my brother’s benefit.

  The next I’m tied to the chair in my office at the warehouse while his goons beat the shit out of me.

  For five fucking days, I worried myself to the point of exhaustion.

  I knew whatever Esteban was doing to my tigress was sick. It’s his way. He’s a twisted bastard like our father. Brutal and a goddamned lunatic.

  Despite it being after noon, the tropical storm named Inez has come ashore. The winds are howling loud enough to wake the dead. I should check on my chickens but I refuse to leave her side.

  He starved her.

  He drugged her.

  He fucking raped her.

  Fury, more violent than the storm outside, ripples through me. While I was tending to her, he’d fled the house despite my breaking his nose and beating the hell out of him. I’ve put a call out to one of my most trusted men, Ravi, and told him to find my brother. I’m going to enjoy slicing him into tiny fucking pieces. Enjoy making him pay for everything he did to her.

  Her skin has grown hot and she starts to shiver in my arms. She’ll soon wake, craving her beloved drug. I’ve already instructed Luciano to flush it all. To rid my safes of anything that could harm Brie any more. Aside from the meds I’ll need to help wean her off, the rest has got to go.

  “Mmm,” she croaks, her eyes still clenched closed.

  I stroke her wavy hair out of her face. It’s long since been washed and air-dried. When I helped her shower last night, I almost lost my fucking head. Her body was littered with so many bruises. So many track marks. And once I finally determined she was bleeding from her period and not from sexual abuse, I had Luciano assist me with finding her a pad to line her panties with.

  My sweet, brave tigress is safe.

  She’s clean and I’m going to heal her.

  “Ow,” she murmurs, her entire body shaking. Not from the chill of the air but from need. Her road to recovery is just beginning. She’ll hate me before it’s all over with.

  I tug her into my arms and hold her quaking, emaciated self. I fucking hate how bony she feels in my grip. How hollow and breakable she is. My own body hurts from the blows I’d suffered to my ribs, but it won’t keep me from holding her.

  “I missed you, mi amor,” I murmur against her hair, which now smells like lemon and honey. A smell I never want to leave my presence again.

  Her fingers splay out over one of my bruised pecks and she whimpers. “Duvan. You’re really here.” A sob wracks through her.

  “I’m here, baby,” I assure her through clenched teeth. “You’re safe now.”

  She relaxes against me, her lips pressing against my throat. “Where’s…”

  I stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head. “He’s gone now.”

  At my words, she tenses. When her head tilts up and her dulled eyes spark to life, my heart throbs in my chest. God, how I fucking missed her.

  “I n-need…” she trails off, horror painting her gorgeous features.

  “I know,” I murmur. Our eyes meet. An entire conversation passes between us with just one look.

  “No,” she says, sitting up. Her eyes glance down at the hoodie I’d put on her. She tugs at it in confusion before turning her now wild gaze to mine. “No, Duvan!” She rips at the hair on her head before letting out a crazed scream. “You can’t do this to me! You don’t understand!”

  I grab her wrist and yank her to me. She’s weak so she falls onto my chest without much effort on my part. Once I have her squirming body tight in my grip, I growl out my words. “Oh, but I do understand, tigress. I’ve been there, baby. I’m going to fix you. Hate me all you want, but I’m going to find my sweet girl again.”

  A wail escapes her. Her fidgeting body becomes jelly in my arms as she gives up. “I’m not your sweet girl,” she cries, her tears soaking my bare chest. “I did things.”

  I close my eyes and take a ragged breath. I’m going to cut off his balls and fucking choke him with them. “I know, tigress. I know.”

  Her sobs become hysterical cries with uncontrollable hiccups and desperate gasps for air. I simply hold her through her meltdown.

  “Y-You don’t know,” she chokes out. “I…I did those things willingly…”

  Kissing her head, I let out a sigh. “I know, but it wasn’t your fault. Esteban knows how that addiction fucks with a person. He lived it with me. Back when I couldn’t take care of myself, it was my brother who dragged me to rehab.”

  “Oh, God,” she moans. “This hurts. I can’t do this!”

  I grit my teeth. “You can and you will. I’m going to help you.”

  She squirms and rages in my grip but she’s still too weak. Esteban didn’t feed her enough. And we have a long road ahead of us. She’ll undoubtedly lose more weight before I can put any back on her.

  Rolling her over onto her back, I grab her wrists and pin them to the bed. Tears leak from her eyes. She’s so fucking broken. It rips through me like the raging storm making all the windows in my house rattle.

  “Woman, listen to me,” I growl. Her body relaxes but her lip continues to tremble. “I love you, tigress. I’m going to fix you.” While I was bea
ten and tortured, I imagined over and over speaking those words to her. I love you, tigress. Each time, I could almost envision her brown eyes widening with surprise and her sexy lips tugging into a smile before she said them back. I love you too, Duvan. Of course, the perfect things only happen in dreams… This is our nightmare.

  A sob escapes her. “Then just give me a little bit. You know how to do it. Please, Duvan. Help me. It fucking hurts!”

  I hate to see her in pain, but it’s fleeting. Just a phase. “I am helping you.”

  “No,” she argues, her voice hoarse. “You’re hurting me. If you love me like you say, then give me just one little hit.”

  I close my eyes to avoid her angry glare. She makes me weak, but I’m doing this for her. “I’m sorry.”

  She spits on me and hisses. “I fucking hate you!”

  I swallow before kissing her forehead. “I know and I’m sorry.”

  “You have to eat something. You can’t stay holed up in this bedroom forever, Brie. Do you want to go with me to feed the chickens? It’s finally stopped raining.”

  She doesn’t answer me. For two days, as she’s slowly detoxed, I’ve attempted to bring her out of the shell she’s seemed to disappear into. When she’s not yelling at me or sleeping, she’s throwing up and begging for death. I’m worried to fucking hell over her.

  “Tigress…”

  “Just go.”

  “Baby…”

  “Leave me alone.”

  “Brie…”

  “No!”

  “Debemos de estar juntos…”

  The Methadone has been critical with her heroine withdrawals, but it’s not perfect. God, how she suffers. My poor girl has claw marks all over her stomach and thighs from the never-ending itch that consumers her. In some places, she’s even drawn blood a couple of times. Depression also seems to be taking its toll on her. Not being able to shoot up with what she’d grown accustomed to, she’s dealing with some all-time lows. It’s damn heartbreaking to watch her sob all hours of the day, begging for the drugs. But it’s the nausea that’s by far the worst on her. Nothing is appetizing to her and she throws up a lot of what I do get her to eat. Having been exactly where she’s at myself, I know precisely what a soul-shredding experience she’s going through.