Six Years Gone (Gone #1)

by Jessica Gouin

  Owen notices me standing in the doorway for the first time, and his face drops. “Morning,” he murmurs, pursing his lips. “You should get ready. You’re going to be late for school.”

  What a craptastic start to my Monday.

  I schlep back to my room and straight for my bag resting on the desk. The mint container rattles inside, and I immediately feel more optimistic about the day. Swallowing a pill, I mentally count the remaining amount, wanting to put off another Drew encounter for as long as necessary.

  Being that I’m not a huge fan of sports, or basically being active in any way, I’ve always had a natural hatred for gym class. In retrospect, I should have trained harder for today. Lachlan is my obstacle course. The moment his brown hair comes into view, I pivot and change directions. The jock table in the cafeteria doesn’t exist to me anymore; neither does the south end of the hallway where his locker is.

  If I’m ever going to be able to walk around with my head held high again, I have to woman-up and do what needs to be done. I have to apologize for being a bitch—which is not the norm for me, so I’m not sure how to go about doing it.

  Most of the baseball players’ girlfriends hang around the diamond, waiting for their guys to finish practice and offer support or whatever the hell the point of them being there is. To me, it’s similar to a death sentence because I always thought if I ever waited for a boy after practice, I would have to stab myself in the jugular with a shank.

  My vision zeroes in on a few girls claiming an aluminum bleacher, and I know I’m losing brain cells just by being within twenty feet of them.

  Where can I get a shank right about now?

  “What’re ya doin’ here, mate?” His voice makes me jump even though he’s the one I’m waiting for.

  The April breeze blows strands of hair in my face, and I swipe at them as I try to remember what the hell I’m doing here. God, he looks so good in his uniform.

  Dammit!

  What the hell is wrong with me? This is embarrassing….

  I look everywhere else but at his face. “I, um, just wanted to…apologize for Friday. I didn’t mean to be such a bitch to you. It’s just easier sometimes, you know? Plus, I’m not really used to people being nice to me for no reason. So, I’m sorry…and thank you.”

  He’s quiet.

  He’s quiet, and he’s staring at me.

  For a few seconds, I don’t think he’s going to say anything at all, which could seriously be the worst outcome of this whole apology thing. It was hard enough to come here in the first place, and if he doesn’t say anything soon, I’m going to need to find a cave to crawl into and die.

  “Life isn’t always better when it’s easier.” He proclaims his pearls of wisdom then adds a wink, and the upbeat Lachlan returns. “Since you came all this way just to say sorry, I suppose I can I forgive you. It seems to be in your nature to be a bitch, yeah?”

  I know I should be offended, but I think he’s got me there. “I guess.”

  His name is hollered from another guy on the team, and he acknowledges him with a flick of his chin. He returns his gaze to me. “A few of us are going to Mile High after practice. Wanna come?”

  His grin is so damn sexy. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I glance at Nathan and a few of the other guys as they take frequent glimpses in our direction. “I just wanted to pay you back and then apologize for being a bitch about paying you back.” We both chuckle and it feels good. “Besides, your friends and I have a mutual hatred for each other, so….”

  “Then we can go just the two of us. Go around with me.”

  Did that just happen? Did Lachlan ask me out in his own weird Aussie way?

  As much as I don’t want to admit it, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since he gave me a ride home. But just because I can’t get him off my mind doesn’t mean we should date. Together, in public. There are so many reasons why dating him won’t be good for either of us.

  “That’s not a good idea either. I’m sure if your aunt ever caught you with me in public, she would disown you or something.”

  A nervous laugh escapes me, and my gaze falls to his shoes, but he bends a bit to make me look him in the eyes. “If I’m not worried about her, then you shouldn’t be either. Come on, you’re being a bitch again. I’ll pick you up Friday night at seven.” A Cheshire smile spreads across his face.

  Well, shit….

  I should say no to the date. The smart thing to do here would be to politely decline and run away. Only, I can’t say no since the whole point of apologizing was to prove I’m not a bitch. Talk about a double-edged sword. “Fine. I’ll go out with you Friday night. As much as I’m sure I’ll regret this.”

  He shoves his hand in his baseball glove and punches it with his other hand, and all the while light dances in his eyes like I just agreed to give him the world. “What’s life without a little regret, right?”

  Right?

  Chapter EIGHT

  Lachlan

  Nathan eyes me hard during stretches and our warm up. We jog around the diamond for a few laps in tension-filled silence. He saw me with Sawyer, and it annoys him to not know what we were talking about. Like I told him in the workout room the other day, what happens between Sawyer and me is none of his damn business. I don’t have to answer to him. Or anyone.

  You can’t help who you have feelings for. That’s the entire beauty of falling for someone. How boring would life be if love was arranged and we knew exactly who we should be with and exactly when it would happen? I don’t want to be told who I can be with. Not by Aunt Claire or Nathan or anyone else. My life is just that, my life.

  Coach instructs the team to break off into pairs to alternate fly and ground balls in the outfield before our batting rotation.

  Nathan and I pair up, and, for every minute that ticks by and I don’t offer an explanation, the force behind the ball becomes harder until he straight-out fires them at me, completely eliminating ground balls. The next torpedo I catch stings my palm, so I pull off my glove and chuck it to the ground with the ball.

  “Seriously, Nate. What the fuck!”

  “Don’t what the fuck me, bro. I saw you.”

  “Well, I didn’t think I was invisible, so yeah, I know you saw me with Sawyer. So what’s your point? You don’t own me, and I don’t have to explain myself to you, so stop being a little bitch.”

  Nathan closes our distance in a few strides, and his hot breath is on my face. “What did you just say to me?”

  “You heard what I said. I’m tired of your bullshit, Nathan. It makes me sick, and I don’t know how much more I can take. Worry about yourself and get off my ass.”

  He shakes his head, chest puffed out and heaving, his eyes fixed on mine with murderous disgust. “Not only are you putting white-trash between us, you can’t even admit it to my face. After everything we’ve been through, you can’t be honest with me. That’s what kills me the most, Lach.”

  Out of my peripheral vision, Coach casually strolls over to us, as if we’re not engaged in a toe-to-toe scuffle. “Everything okay here, boys? Cause the other guys would like to continue with their practice and not deal with your girly drama. Does that sound good with you two?”

  Without breaking eye contact with me, Nathan nods. “Yeah, Coach. We’re done here anyway.”

  I cave and look away first to bend down to retrieve my glove and ball. Her hair is what catches my eye. It’s long and gets caught up and twisted in the wind easily. Sawyer’s standing at the far end of the diamond, on the other side of the fence. Part of me wonders if she stayed to watch me practice, but all hope is extinguished when I see she’s not alone. They’re too far away to make out who the other person is, but I can tell it’s a guy. Could be her brother, maybe? He definitely looks older than she is. I’m about to turn around and get back to practice before coach really reams me out when I notice the guy she’s with grabs her by the arm. She rips away and pushes his chest, but he comes right back and is in her
face. I’m halfway to them when Nathan catches up and stands directly in front of me, blocking my path.

  “Get the fuck out of my way.”

  “Coach is watching you asshole. You wanna get thrown off the team?”

  I crook my neck to the side to look past him, but Sawyer and whoever she was with are gone.

  The team and my friends are all I cared about for the past few years, but if Coach told me to leave right now, I don’t think I would ever look back.

  After practice, most of the guys take off, but I hang back to shower, letting the hot water wash my stress down the drain in peace. When my skin is plump and the water cold, I reluctantly step out. By the time I leave the locker room, the school is virtually a ghost town.

  I stroll through the desolate halls. A looming sense of apocalyptic mystery buzzes in the silence. The only sound comes from my duffel bag as I drag it on the ceramic tiles. When I’m standing in front of Sawyer’s locker, I pause to stare at the torn stickers on the front. From what’s remaining, it seems to have been some kind of skateboarding logo.

  The custodian appears down the hall, steering his cart in my direction, so I turn around and head toward the exit to the parking lot.

  The warm air blows against my freshly washed face and sinks into my pores. The breeze is light tonight, making me feel as though I’m walking in slow motion, almost as if I’m being carried. Unsurprisingly, my car is one of the only ones left. I slide into the driver’s seat, and as I jab the key into the ignition, the passenger door opens and someone sits next to me in one quick motion.

  “I was waiting for you.” Her soft voice in the confined space unsettles me. I scan the dimmed lot outside, trying to find something to make sense of this because surely she’s in the wrong car. When I don’t see anyone else, I look back, confused as all hell.

  “Courtney, what are you doing?”

  She reaches for her long brown hair, gathering it to one side and smiles, playing with the ends of her locks. “Waiting for you, silly,” she repeats in a sultry tone and giggles.

  “Alright, then. What’s going on? You need a ride home or something?”

  Her gaze roams my face then falls to my chest and lingers there for a moment before her eyes meet mine again. She licks her lips then tongues the inside corner of her mouth. “Are you offering a ride?”

  Jesus Christ, real subtle. “Listen, Courtney, I’m not sure we’re on the same pa—”“

  “I’ve been waiting for you for a while actually.” As she speaks, her hands move to the top of her sweater and she begins to slowly move the zipper down. “I was starting to think you really liked playing hard to get, which I don’t mind, but then Nate told me you were shy and might need some extra special attention, so…here I am.”

  I’m going to kill him. With my bare hands. It’s official; that asshole thinks he’s untouchable and can do anything he wants, treat people however he sees fit. We’re all here for his amusement because it’s Nathan’s show all the time. He can’t tell me to leave Sawyer alone and then send Courtney here to seduce me because he’s more comfortable with his best mate dating someone from our social circle.

  Fuck that.

  I reach over to still her fingers slowly making their way south. “Stop, Courtney.”

  “Stop? You want me to stop taking my clothes off?” Her eyes narrow as she stares in disbelief that someone is saying they don’t want her. I can’t blame her for being shocked. This is probably the first time she’s ever been turned down.

  Unreal. Here I am with this smoking-hot girl, who’s practically begging me, in the front seat of my car in an empty parking lot and she’s all tanned legs under a short skirt, breasts pushed together with the zipper of her thin sweater down just far enough to see her pink bra, hair fallen around her shoulders, and of course, I can’t think of anything besides Sawyer Mathews—who I barely even know.

  “Yes, I want you to stop. You don’t want to do this. You can get any guy you want, yeah? Really, you’re beautiful. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just…I’m not interested in you…like that.”

  She continues to stare at me, letting my words sink in.

  “I’m really sorry if Nathan gave you the wrong impression about what would happen with me. Can I at least give you a ride home?”

  She shakes her head as she looks down at her lap. With trembling hands she zips up the fabric to her neck, let’s out a puff of air, and gets out of my car, slamming the door behind her as she storms off.

  I watch in my rearview mirror as she gets into her vehicle parked behind mine, starts the engine, and peels away.

  What in the world just happened?

  The rest of the week I avoid Courtney as much as Nathan avoids me. The only person I seek out during school is Sawyer. Since we don’t have any classes together, it makes running into her difficult. I manage to get a few winks in when I see her passing by in the hall or cafeteria. If I’m not mistaken, her cheeks flush a brilliant shade of pink each time.

  Friday can’t come soon enough.

  Chapter NINE

  Sawyer

  During a normal school week, the days drag by. The seconds feel like minutes, and the minutes feel like hours. If every week passed as fast as this week did, I’d be graduated and away from this stupid-ass town by now. I swear I only blinked and it’s already Friday.

  All week I was unsure about going through with our date. That word date is so foreign to me. What does it even mean? What should I expect of tonight? More importantly, what does he expect of me?

  Lachlan and I haven’t spoken to each other since the baseball diamond where I agreed to go on this stupid date. And where Drew found me—not that I was hiding from my ex. I just didn’t want to be anywhere he was, so I’ve avoided all the places I knew he would be. He rarely goes near the school since he was kicked out two years ago for vandalism and drug use. Technically, he was trespassing just by being there, which is a violation of his parole.

  Once I walked away from Lachlan, I saw Drew, and, by the way he was leaning against the fence, I could tell I was the reason he was there. He was waiting for me. I approached him cautiously as I glanced back to see if Lachlan was paying any attention to me. Luckily, he was talking with Nathan.

  “I don’t need anything, Drew.” Which is somewhat a lie seeing as how I’m nearly out of everything, and if I really was going to be seen in public with Lachlan, I’m going to need some help taking the edge off. I really don’t want to ask Drew for anything though.

  “You know I always have what you need.” The hidden meaning dances in his eyes.

  “What’s that mark on your neck?”

  He shuffles his stance and zips his sweater all the way up, placing the hood over his head to hide the red lines on both sides of his neck.

  “Nothing. The old man threw a fit cause of some family shit that happened. So listen, you gonna need anything or what? Cause I’m gonna be leaving town for a bit.”

  “Because of what happened with your cousin? Tessa told me he died….”

  If I didn’t know him any better, I would have thought he was scared. Drew never gets scared. That’s when he told me every last detail about what happened the night his cousin was shot in front of him.

  “He didn’t die. I don’t know where Tessa got her information, but he made it through surgery. His girl…. She didn’t make it. He shouldn’t have been there. Neither of them should have been there. It was my deal. It should have been me. Even my old man thinks so.”

  Drew may have crushed me when I saw him with another woman, but I can’t stand to see what his father does to him daily. The beatings, both emotional and physically, are enough to turn anyone into an empty criminal.

  “No one should have been there because you shouldn’t be doing this shit. You’re better than the situations you put yourself in.”

  He shocks me by grabbing my arm and yanking me toward him. “You know me better than anyone, Sawyer. Don’t act like there’s a way out of my li
fe. You can think moving away from Woodsview is going to change you and make you into a different person, but it’s not. Nothing ever gets better for people like us. This is who we are. This is the life we get.” He lets go of my arm, and I rub the tenderness away.

  Well, Drew’s timing couldn’t be any better for him to leave town. I’m not sure what would happen if he saw me with a rich boy, painting the town red on Friday.

  Nothing good I’m sure.

  Lachlan is supposed to be here in just over an hour, and I’m flipping through hangers of clothes in my closet in an unsuccessful attempt at finding something decent to wear.

  I don’t even know what girls wear on dates. Am I supposed to get all dolled-up for him? Am I supposed to look different tonight than how I normally do every other day?

  Just as I swallow a pill, Sloane topples into my room with an armful of clothes. “Okay, so I know going on a real date isn’t exactly your thing, and, knowing you, the idea of cancelling sounds like a way out. You can’t see it right now because you’re too close, but I see it and you need to go tonight. So, here I am to make you look perfect. Also, I thought someone should be here so you don’t bail on the poor guy. To be honest, though, he has no idea what he’s in for with you.” After she tosses the clothes on the bed, she turns her flushed face to me and beams. She claps her hands and lets out a squeal. “I’m so excited for you!”

  I cross my arms, not impressed with being her Barbie doll or with her unnecessary enthusiasm. “Stop squealing. You’re not dressing me. And I have no idea why you’re so excited.”

  “Well, I won’t literally put the clothes on you, but I will be telling you what to wear. And I’m excited because, like I said, you don’t see it, but I do. This is big. This is bigger than big. Tonight will be the start of something epic. I can feel it in my bones.” Sloane and her crazed ideas of true love. I think she watched one too many Disney movies as a kid.