I followed the women inside, the place had a comfortable homey feel that made you instantly like it.
“Mom, you around?” Faith called.
“In the back.”
We followed the sound of her voice and found her in the small office by the kitchen.
“And who might you be?” She eyed me with interest.
“Logan McFadden.” I held out my hand.
“Love DeLeo, good to meet you. Are you the Logan my Grace is always talking about?”
I smiled. “That would be me.” I could see where Grace and her sisters got their looks from. Love DeLeo was beautiful, tall and thin like Faith, but with many of the same features as Grace.
“Come on. Let’s get some food, and we can talk.”
Instead of the dining room, we ate in the kitchen. I tried to be calm, but it wasn’t going to happen. The DeLeo women were a force to be reckoned with.
“How did you screw this up already?” Love looked at me with a penetrating stare.
I coughed on the bite in my mouth. “I see where Faith gets it from now.”
She smiled and nodded. “Answer please. I want to know if you’re worth it or not.”
“There are things in my life I just can’t share. Secrets that are not mine to reveal. Grace doesn’t need to know everything about my life the same way I don’t need to know everything about hers or what came before me.” I paused and gulped down some water. “I’m sure the girls have told you a bit about my past?”
Love nodded again.
“I’ve been running a multi-billion dollar empire since I was nineteen. Not a lot of people tell me no. I’m used to getting what I want, and women are usually what I want. I’ve never pretended to be anything but what I am. I have slept with a lot of women, more than I can count. Does that make me a bad guy? No. It makes me a normal guy. Now that I’ve met Grace, I don’t want any of that anymore. I don’t want her to always give in and tell me yes. I like the fight in her, I relish it. Her temper and strong will are what make her so appealing. I’m considering this a rough patch. I know we’ll get through it because I can’t bear to think of a reality where we don’t.”
Love looked at me thoughtfully. “I feel like you really didn’t answer my first question. That being said, I like the other things you said.”
“You want an answer? I’m not sure I have one. We’re in this place because my past came back to bite me in the ass. Nothing more than that. There are no other women, nothing like that at all.” I looked her in the eye.
“Well, I think I’m satisfied with those responses, Mom. How about you?” Hope leaned back in her chair.
“You already know my stance on this, or I wouldn’t have brought him here,” Faith chimed in as well.
After what felt like forever, Love finally answered. “Okay, I’m in.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.
“You know she’s going to hate that we’re all conspiring against her in this.” Hope shook her head.
“Can’t be helped. Sometimes when you love someone, you have to save them from themselves. This is one of those times where Grace needs to be saved from throwing something amazing away,” Love answered.
“I’m happy I passed the test.”
“Don’t get too happy, honey. I’m still not a huge fan for the mere fact that my daughter came home in tears yesterday and you’re the cause of it.” She looked at me sternly.
“I’m here, aren’t I? I came as soon as it could be arranged and straight to her door. I hate that she’s upset, and I want to fix it. I’m not perfect, I know there will be many times I make her cry in the next twenty or thirty years.”
“Oh, so you’re thinking long term with this? Marriage, babies, all of that?” Hope arched a brow and gave me a look that said she didn’t quite believe me.
“Whatever she wants. I would lay the world at her feet to see her smile.”
“Oh God, I want to barf.” Faith rolled her eyes. “I told you he was into her. Imagine sharing a meal with them. I wanted to gag myself.”
“I’m sure this wasn’t what you had planned for the day was it?” Love asked me.
“No, I have a meeting with my realtor in a bit, but I can reschedule.”
“I think I got what I needed today. We’ll be in touch.” She stood up and patted my cheek as she walked back to her office.
“So, what did you think of her?” Faith asked.
“You know, I really liked her.”
“She can be terrifying,” Hope laughed.
“I didn’t say she didn’t scare the life out of me.” I grinned.
“Come on, I’ll walk you out.” Faith pushed her chair back and walked me out to my waiting car.
“Don’t take no for an answer. She’s going to want to push you away, so your job right now is to not let her.” She kissed my cheek and sent me on my way downtown to look at apartments.
LAST NIGHT WAS A MISTAKE. I knew it the moment I woke up in his bed. I never should have gone with him. I would never get over him at this rate.
Faith wasn’t home when I had flown in like a tornado to frantically get showered and dressed before running off to the office.
The good thing about my job, besides the fact that I loved it, was that it would take my mind off Logan.
I had more paper than actual wood showing on my desk. I was knee deep in a project when a soft knock on my door made me emerge from my work.
He stood with his hip against the doorframe, wearing jeans and a t -shirt and looking way too hot.
“Can I take you to lunch?” Logan asked, coming into the office to kiss me.
It was hard to think with his scent all around me. “I don’t know, I wasn’t planning on taking a lunch today. I have too much to catch up on.”
“You have to eat.” He pulled my chair away from the desk.
I sighed and let him haul me to my feet. “Fine, but a quick one. I have too many fires to put out before the end of the day.” I pulled my coat on and grabbed my purse.
We stopped by my assistant's desk. “Karrie, I’ll be back in an hour. Call me if anything comes up that needs my attention.”
She smiled, clearly wanting to know who Logan was, but I didn’t offer up an explanation.
“Where would you like to go?” He slung his arm around my shoulders as we walked outside.
“Don’t care. Somewhere quick.” I knew I was being a bitch. I could literally feel the barb in each word.
“Kitten.” He stopped and tipped my lips up to his.
The kiss was angry. I could feel his emotions bubbling around under the surface. It was a clash of lips and teeth. I clawed at his clothes, wanting to push him away and pull him closer at the same time.
“Are you ready to play nice?” he panted.
“Sorry,” I muttered and let him lead me into the limo.
“So, what would you like to eat?”
“I don’t know, Chinese? I really don’t care.” I looked out the window, trying to get myself under control.
I didn’t pay attention to where we were going. He talked the whole time, and I just listened, not offering anything to the conversation.
I finally registered where we were when we walked through the lobby of his hotel.
“Uh, uh. We are not going to your hotel room for lunch.”
“Why not?” He grinned wickedly.
“Because sex isn’t lunch.”
“I didn’t say we were going to have sex, although if you’re offering, I wouldn’t turn it down.”
“Then why are we here?”
“To talk, that’s all. We can order room service.”
“This feels like a bad idea, but I don’t have the energy to fight about it.”
He linked his fingers with mine, and we walked through the lobby to the bank of elevators.
“Still mad?” he murmured against my ear when we were alone in the elevator.
“Yes.” I tried to push him away, but he held me tighter.
Once we got into the room I slipped my shoes off and curled up on the bed. Being mad really took it out of me. I faced away from him, wanting to look at anything but his eyes.
“Tell me this, why exactly are you mad?” He sat next to me.
I hated how rational he sounded. “I’m mad for all the reasons you already know.” I traced little patterns on the comforter.
“Tell me again.” He reached out and put a hand on my hip. I stilled instantly at his touch.
“I hate the secrets.”
“We went over this already. I’ll tell you what I can. I don’t want to keep secrets from you. What else?” He leaned over and pressed a kiss on my hip bone.
“No, not what else. I want answers. You need to give me something,” I demanded, still not looking at him. I knew if I faced him now all my arguments would be forgotten.
“Fine. I’ll tell you what I can. What do you want to know?” He sounded resigned.
“Who is Annabelle?”
He got up from the bed and walked to where the dresser was and leaned against it. “She was a girl we knew from a long time ago.”
“Who is we?” I finally turned over so I could see his face as he spoke.
“Fiona, Smith, and me. We all used to party together. Smith and Anna used to hook up when they were high.”
“Did you ever sleep with her?” I demanded.
“Probably. I slept with everybody back then. Fiona did, too. It never really mattered to either of us.” He looked embarrassed.
“So, what’s the big secret then? Why the hell would I care about some druggy chick from a million years ago that you and Smith used to bang?”
“There’s a lot that I can't tell you for now. It’s not all my story. There are other people involved.”
“Who, Fiona and Smith?”
“And a few others, yes.”
“Well, Fiona obviously doesn’t care if I know since she was the one who threw the name out there to begin with.”
“Why does this all matter so much to you? It was over fifteen years ago. It doesn’t matter for us, for our future. Can you leave the past where it is?”
“I don’t know. I’ll try. I guess I just hate that you won’t tell me. It makes me think that you'll do this in the future, keep things from me. I don’t ever want to be blindsided like I was in New York.”
“I don’t want to keep anything from you. I would tell you everything if I could. Do you believe that?”
I nodded.
“Good, what else?” He sat next to me again.
“Fiona. I hate her. I hate that you had a child together, and I hate that she was in your apartment naked.”
“Join the club. All except hating that I had a child with her. I loved Jackson more than my own life. I’ll never hate or regret him.” A flicker of anger marred his beautiful features.
“No, Logan. That’s not what I meant.” I instantly hated myself for even saying those words.
“I know. The scar is still raw, Kitten, maybe it always will be. But you know that she’s not in my life anymore. If it would make you feel better, we can get a new apartment in New York, one that’s just ours. What else is making you so mad.”
“Right now? How fucking calm you are when I want to jump out of my skin.”
“I’m not calm. I’m anything but calm right now, Kitten. I’ll never be calm when it comes to you and me. I just have had a lot of practice at hiding my emotions.” He leaned in and gently touched his lips to mine. “Is that all? Anything else you’re pissed about?”
“Not at the moment, no. But I’ll let you know as soon as I think of something.” It was impossible to be angry with him. He had this way of talking me out of all of my valid arguments.
He was trying to hide his amusement. It wasn’t working.
“Stop looking so smug.”
“I’m not smug.” He laid down next to me, pulling me against him.
“What are you then?”
“Happy. Whenever you’re around me, I’m happy.”
“Oh man, why do you have to say things like that. You make it so hard on a girl to stay mad.”
“I think you know my stance on that.” He kissed me.
“Hey, aren’t you going to at least feed me before you tear off my clothes?” I giggled as he slipped his hand under my shirt.
“Who said I want to tear off your clothes? Maybe I just wanted to grope you a little.”
“Uh uh, feed me first. You lured me here with talk of lunch. Now feed me!” I gave him a shove to get him moving.
He grabbed the room service menu and plopped back down on the bed next to me.
“Twenty dollars for a hamburger? It better be made of gold for that price.” I shook my head.
“Kitten, order what you want. I think I can afford a twenty dollar hamburger.” He kissed the tip of my nose.
THINGS WITH LOGAN WERE BETTER. We had been in Chicago for almost a month. I was trying to move past everything and go along with Logan’s plan of a fresh start. So far so good. I still wanted to be with him more than I didn’t.
I drove out to Hope’s after work. I needed some baby snuggles.
“Hope? Are you around?” I called as I walked into the house.
I heard a mumbled reply.
“Hope?”
“No, sorry it’s me.” John came around the corner.
He looked like hell. Like he hadn’t been sleeping.
“Hey, I thought you would be at work.” I hugged him.
“I’m on my way out now. Hope’s upstairs with the baby. See you later.” He kissed me on the cheek and left through the garage.
I walked through the living room to the stairs and noticed the bed made up on the couch. This left me with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Hope was upstairs in the baby’s room, sitting on the floor in the dark with her back against the dresser. Grayson was asleep in his crib.
“Hey,” I said gently.
She turned and looked at me but didn’t say a word.
“What’s going on? Why are you in the dark?”
“John,” she whispered and started to cry.
I sank down to my knees next to her and cradled her in my arms. “What happened?”
“He told me today that he had an affair.” The words were choked out with her sobs.
“Oh my God.” My free hand flew to my mouth. I couldn’t believe it, not John, not our John. He loved my sister so much, I couldn’t imagine a scenario where he would cheat.
“He says it’s been over for a long time, and he had to tell me because it’s been eating him up inside.”
“I’m so sorry. I wish I could say something more, something better. But I’m at a total loss with this.”
She shook her head. “I knew something was up. The past few months he’s been weird. Like he can’t be around me. Now I know why.”
“When did this all happen?”
“When I was pregnant with Gray. About two months after I was put on full bed rest in the hospital. He said it just happened, he didn’t mean for it to, but he was so lonely.”
“Bullshit. It never just happens.” I was so angry.
“It was a woman from work, of course. And it went on for a month before he says he came to his senses.” She looked so sad.
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around this. So, you’re telling me that while you were lying in a hospital bed trying not to miscarry your child, he was out screwing some other chick?” I wanted to throw up.
“He says it didn’t mean anything. But how can I ever believe him again?”
“What are you going to do? I just saw him when I got here. Is he still going to live here?”
“How can I ever trust him again? How can I look him in the eye and trust him with my heart, with my life?” Hope sobbed
I didn’t have the answers she needed. I was still looking for my own with Logan. Hope and John were my canary in the coal mine. They were my example. I needed them to be solid, I needed it
so I could believe that Logan and I could make it eventually.
“What are you going to do?”
“I told him he needs to find somewhere else to stay for a while. I can’t look at him. I feel physically sick when I think about it. Him with another woman, touching her, kissing her. It makes me want to vomit. The worst part is that I probably know her. I’ve probably seen her a billion times and let her hold Gray and coo over him. I’ve always been friendly with the women that work at the station.”
“This is shit,” I sighed.
“It really is. I feel so lost.”
“When did he tell you?”
“Just before he left for work. He’s been so weird lately, not even sleeping in the bed with me because he says he’s too restless and doesn’t want to keep me up. Now I know it was his guilty conscience.”
“God, I’m so sorry. I know I said it already, but I really am. I hate that you’re hurting, and I can’t help you.”
“Fuck men. You’re better off single. I know I’m supposed to be on team Logan now, but fuck him and fuck John. We can be single together and you can move in and we can raise Grayson together.”
“Hold up a second, what do you mean you’re supposed to be on team Logan?”
“The day after you got home, Faith arranged a breakfast with me, her, him, and mom. We all agreed that we would help him win you back. But now…now I don’t know if that’s the best thing for you. What if he hurts you like this? What if the secrets he keeps are something like this or worse? Can you live with not knowing?”
My heart lurched. What if she was right? What if his secrets were worse than this? “I’m not going to address that right now, honey. We need to figure your situation out more than mine at the moment.”
“I can’t stay here tonight, with all of his things hanging in the closet, and his smell all over the pillows.”
“You’ll come and stay with me and Faith for a day or so until you figure out what you want to do.”
“I’m sure Faith will love that.” She snorted derisively.
“Hey, give her some credit. She loves you and Gray, and she will literally want to chop off John’s balls when she finds out about this. I know our place tends to be party central because of her lifestyle, but she can tone it down for a few days for your sake.”
Never Let Me Go: The Complete Set Page 12
