Never Let Me Go: The Complete Set
Page 13
She nodded, and I helped her off the floor. After we packed enough clothes for them for a few days, I got Grayson into the car and opened the door for her.
“God, we were so fucking happy. Now it’s all smashed to hell.”
On the drive into the city, I called Faith to give her a heads up.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“It’s not a good time, let me call you back.” I heard a man’s voice and her smothered giggle.
“No, now. Listen the fuck up.”
“Geez, what has your panties in a bunch. Okay, what is it?”
“Hope’s staying with us for a bit. John told her today that he had an affair when she was pregnant with Grayson.”
“Shit.” She sucked in a breath.
“Yeah. She’s in rough shape. She’ll need us both.”
“I’m on my way.” She hung up.
I called Logan next to cancel our plans for the night.
“Hey beautiful.” His sexy voice filled my car.
“I need to cancel for tonight.”
“What? Why?” He sounded disappointed.
“Something came up with Hope. I need to be with her for a few days. I’ll call you when I can okay?” I went to hang up, but he stopped me.
“Wait, what’s going on? Is she okay? The baby?” His voice full of concern. It melted my icy heart.
“She’s not okay. Not even close to being okay. John had an affair when she was pregnant with Gray. She was in the fucking hospital trying her hardest to not lose her unborn son, and he was out there sticking his dick into some other woman.” Tears I had been holding in began to fall. My heart hurt. John had betrayed us all with this. He was my brother, the one who always looked out for me, protected me.
“Oh God. Where are you now?” I heard the scrape of his chair pushing away from the desk.
“In the car on my way back to the apartment. Hope’s just in front of me.
“How soon until you get home?”
“I don’t know, maybe twenty minutes, depending on traffic. Why?”
“Drive safe, Kitten. I’ll call you later okay?”
Damn him for hanging up without telling me anything. I cried the rest of the way home. Letting myself feel all the hurt that poured out of my heart. I needed to be strong for Hope, she didn’t need me falling apart, too.
Logan was standing on the sidewalk in front of my building when we pulled up. He didn’t say a word, just took me in his arms and hugged me tight. His lips were soft and tender as they pressed against mine. He searched my face to be sure I was okay before going to Hope’s car.
She sat motionless with her hands on the wheel, tears streaming down her cheeks. Logan opened her door and unhooked her seatbelt. He helped her out of the car and enfolded her in his arms.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, never letting her go. He held her until her sobs subsided and passed her over to my waiting arms.
Without being asked, he got Grayson’s seat out and all of the bags and helped us up to the apartment. I was grateful. Sometimes the best kind of help is the kind you don’t ever have to ask for. He came. He was here for us when we needed him, when I needed him. Maybe his secrets didn’t matter. If this was who he was on the inside, in his heart, maybe I didn’t care about all of the rest.
After we got inside, he lingered by the door. I walked over and let him hug me again. I craved it, I needed his strength. I was tired, emotionally exhausted. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, and I breathed in his scent, my face buried against his chest. This was what I had needed, even when I thought I didn’t. I was beginning to see who he really was.
“I ordered dinner for you guys. I assumed Faith would be coming, too, so I got enough for all of you. “ He kissed the top of my head and smoothed my hair down.
“Thank you. Not just for dinner but for being here when I needed you, when we needed you. Hope needed to see that not all guys are bad. She was ready to jump ship from team Logan. She needed this, too.”
“Kitten, wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, you will always be the most important thing in my life. I’ll always come. You needed me. Whether you said it or not, I knew it. I heard the sadness in your voice. I’ll always come.” He tipped my chin up to look in my eyes. “Always. Do you understand that?”
I nodded, and he kissed me.
“Good. I’ll call you in the morning okay? Go and take care of your sister.”
I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I didn’t. It was too soon.
“Logan. Wait please?” Hope called from the other room.
She came out and stopped in front of us.
“Thank you. For being here for me and for Grace. This is a shitty day, probably the worst I’ve ever had. Thank you for your kindness and for just being here.” She hugged him, her head fitting into the notch of his neck.
I watched as the man I just realized I loved, comforted my sister. I could tell he wanted to tell her everything would be okay. He stroked her hair, and pressed a kiss to her head.
“Hope, I wish I could tell you I could fix all of this for you. The only thing I can do is give you a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Night or day, you call me if you need anything .” He held her cheeks in his hands, looking into her eyes.
“Thank you.”
He kissed her cheek and squeezed her shoulder.
“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow, Kitten?” He looked at me over Hope’s shoulders.
I nodded, feeling a little breathless. I guess that happens when love barges in.
After he left, Hope looked at me.
“Forget what I said earlier. That one, he’s worth it.”
My heart clenched. I knew she was right.
ON THE DRIVE BACK TO the office, I searched my phone for any information I could find on John Fragiatti. There wasn’t much to find. A few commendations for heroism, things about promotions. I found out which station he worked at and had my driver take me there.
I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to do once I got there, but I was pissed off and needed to do something about it. My Grace was hurting because of something this asshole had done. Hope was devastated. Something needed to be done. This brought back memories of my own childhood, neither parent caring enough to hide their affairs. Leah and I were lost in the shuffle of mistresses and handsome ‘tennis instructors’ always showing up to the house. It was no way to live, and I didn’t want that for either Hope or Grayson. I already hated him. He had the life I had always wanted, he had a son and a wife who loved him, and he squandered it on a quick fuck because he couldn’t last a few months. Bastard. I would give anything to have Jackson back.
When we pulled up, there were a bunch of guys in the front washing down one of the trucks.
“Can I help you?” One of them asked.
“Yeah, I’m looking for John Fragiatti.”
The guy looked me over and apparently decided I wasn’t a threat. Boy was he wrong.
“Johnny. Some guy’s here for you,” he called into the wash bay.
John wasn’t what I expected; he looked like a broken man.
“I’m John, what can I do for you.” He looked wary.
“I’m Logan McFadden. I assume you know my name?”
He nodded and exhaled a breath. He knew why I was here.
“Go ahead, do what you came here for. I deserve it. There’s nothing you can do that will make me feel worse.”
“God, I came here wanting to hit you. But I can’t. You don’t deserve even that. I just came from Grace’s apartment. You fucked up, man. Big time. Hope is a mess, she’s broken.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he yelled. The other guys in the driveway looked over. He lowered his voice. “I know how bad this is. Hope is the best thing that ever happened to me. She’s it for me. It was a moment of weakness. I can’t even forgive myself, let alone ask her to forgive me. I know I smashed my life to pieces, I know what I did.”
“What are you going to do about it then?�
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“Hell if I know. Hope won’t even look at me.”
I looked at him and decided that maybe I did need to punch him after all. If only to appease my sense of honor, so I reared back and punched him in the nose. It made a satisfying crunch before blood gushed from it. He staggered back a few steps holding his nose.
“You think about what you’re going to do to fix this. You owe it to her and to your son.”
“What happened to not punching me?” He winced and pressed a dirty rag to his bleeding nose.
“I didn’t like your answers. Besides, you deserved it.”
“I think my nose is broken.” He grimaced.
“Good, now maybe you’ll feel some of the pain Hope is.” I wiped my hand on his shirt and walked back to my car.
“Back to the office?” my driver asked.
“Yeah, the office is fine.” I had a mountain of work to finish, but my mind wouldn’t get off Grace.
Once I was back at the office, it was clear I wasn’t going to get much more work done. I dialed my best friend Shaileen’s number.
“Logan. To what do I owe this pleasure?” She laughed into the phone.
God, I missed her. “Hey Shai, just missed you, that’s all. Plus, I could use some advice. How’s the baby?”
“I miss you, too. When are you coming out my way again? The baby is great. I’m as big as a house now.”
“I’ll come out soon. I want you to meet Grace.”
“Is she why you called?”
“No, not exactly. I think things are finally okay in that area.” I launched into the whole story about what happened today.
“Hmm, so you think punching him was the best thing to do?” She laughed.
“Probably not, but at the time, it made me feel better. If you could have seen Hope, you would have done the same.”
“Who are you and what have you done with Logan? I have to say I’m loving the new you, baby.”
“It’s all Grace. She makes me want to be better. She won’t accept less than that.”
“A good woman will do that for you. Same thing with a good man.”
“Is it bad that I want to help the guy? He seemed genuinely sorry. He completely realizes what he’s done to his family.” I chewed my lip. I hated not being fully certain, especially right now when this affected Grace.
“Tread lightly. It’s a touchy area. You don’t want Grace to feel like you’ve taken his side over Hope’s.”
“No, I don’t. Because I haven’t taken his side at all. I’m still mad enough to murder him. But maybe they can fix this.”
“I like this new you. I like that you finally have a heart. I always knew you had it in you. I’m proud of you, honey.”
“Thanks, Shai. So when’s the wedding?”
“In a month. I sent your invite to New York, but you obviously aren’t there. You’ll come?”
“Of course, I’ll come. Like you could keep me away.”
“I already asked Smith, and he said yes. I want you both to give me away. It only seems fitting, you two bastards are as close to family as I have. “
I heard the tremor in her voice even though she was trying to make light of it.
“Shaileen, it would be my honor to give you away. I’ve always loved you; from the very start, I knew you were someone special, just not my someone special. I’m so glad you’ve found your white knight, the one who will slay dragons for you.”
“God, Logan, way to make a pregnant woman cry. I’m happy things ended up this way. We always get to keep each other now. If we had tried it the other way, and I mean given it a real try, we would have lost each other. This is better. “
We hung up after she extracted a promise for me and Grace to be there a few days before the wedding. Work was a lost cause, so I went back to my lonely apartment.
I had made plans to take Grace out dancing, the dress I had bought for her was hanging in the garment bag in my hall closet. Oh well, another night.
I ordered dinner and sat down in front of the TV. So this is what being in a relationship felt like? Wanting the other person with you all the time. I wasn’t happy unless she was happy. And she for sure wasn’t happy right now. I wished so bad I could fix everything and make it all right for them.
I wasn’t totally sure when it had happened, but Grace was in my heart. Hell, she was my heart. I needed her like I needed air. I went to bed early, missing the girl who should be cuddled up with me.
HOPE’S PHONE WAS RINGING, BUT she was in my room asleep. I grabbed it and saw that it was John. I debated on whether I should answer and anger won out.
“It’s Grace. Hope’s asleep.”
He sighed into the phone. “I don’t suppose me saying how sorry I am will make you hate me any less?”
“No, it won’t. Why did you call? What could you say that she would want to hear?”
“I just. I don’t know Grace. I’m losing my mind over here.”
“Good. How could you let me hug you today? Knowing what I would find when I got upstairs. How could you do that to me?” I said softly.
“You’re my family, Grace. No matter what, I love you and your sisters. Don’t you think I needed to feel loved, even if only for that one second before you found out?”
“I honestly don’t care that you’re hurting. I want to hate you so much.” I did want to hate him. For hurting my sister and destroying the life they had made with each other. But love doesn’t turn to hate in an instant. I had known him and loved him for too many years to hate him. I was so angry with him, though.
“I met your guy today,” he said in a soft voice.
“Logan? Where?” I was shocked.
“He came to see me. We had a little chat, and he broke my nose.” He didn’t sound at all angry.
“He broke your nose?”
“I had it coming, don’t you think?”
I hung up. I didn’t need to hear anything else.
“Faith?” I called softly.
She poked her head out of her room.
“I need to go. I’ll be back tomorrow probably.”
“Who was that on the phone?” she questioned.
“John.”
“You’re going to see him?”
“No, Logan.” I didn’t stop to listen to her questions, just grabbed my purse and keys and ran out of the door.
I couldn’t drive fast enough. Every red light was torture. Luckily, he lived close.
I banged on his door, waiting impatiently for him to open it.
“Grace?” he said sleepily. I took in his bare chest and pajama pants. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, baby. Everything is finally right.” I launched myself into his arms and kissed him with everything I had in me.
He carried me back into the apartment and never broke the kiss. His hands snaking up my shirt to cup my breast.
I dragged my lips away from his long enough to bite into the hollow of his throat. I stopped thinking and just let myself feel.
We ended up in his room on the bed. My shirt halfway off, covering my nose and eyes, just enough for him to nibble at my skin.
I tried to touch him, but he smacked my hands away. “This is for me, Kitten. I’ve been torn up all day, in knots. I hated today. Every second I wasn’t with you was torture.”
He pressed scorching kisses down my stomach to the waistband of my jeans. I squirmed on the bed.
He slowly undid the button and dragged the zipper down. I needed to feel him, I craved it.
Logan had other ideas. He spent the next hour making me scream his name while he kissed and licked every inch of my body.
Finally, when he said I had enough, he slipped in and I felt complete. This is where I belonged, under him, connected to him.
“Come on, Kitten,” he rasped in my ear. “Don’t make me work for it.”
I brought his mouth down to mine and nipped at his lower lip with my teeth. I was feeling crazy, out of control. My nails raked down his back.
“That’s it, Kitten. Just a little more,” he groaned into my ear.
We moved in sync. I matched his every move. We fit together perfectly. I bit into his shoulder as I found the pleasure I had been racing toward all evening.
Later on, after we were showered and bundled up in bed, he turned to me. “Not that I didn’t enjoy this impromptu visit, but what brought this on.” He trailed a finger down my naked hip.
“Today made me realize something, Logan.” I was so nervous.
“What’s that?” He looked curious.
“It made me realize that I love you.” My heart clenched as I said the words.
“You do?” he said carefully.
I nodded, my voice was suddenly uncooperative.
“What made you realize that?”
“You came for me, Logan. You came for Hope. I didn’t ask you to, and you came because you knew I would need you. That she would need you. For so many reasons, for the man that I know you are. You amaze me constantly and spoil me rotten. I wouldn’t let myself believe that this was real. I talked myself into believing that you would wake up one morning and realize that you made a mistake and that I’m not who you want.”
“Never,” he said with feeling.
“I know that now. I know who you really are now. And I don’t care about what happened in your past. It can stay there forever for all I care. I just want you, only you.”
“God, Kitten. Do you know how long I’ve wanted you to say those words to me? That you love me? Because I love you, too, so damn much that it hurts. It killed me today to see you hurting and not be able to do anything to fix it. I want to be the man who deserves you. You make me want to be that, to do anything to keep you.” He rolled me over and kissed me.
“You are that man, Logan. I just had to really see you to believe it.”
“Never stop believing that, Grace. No matter what, never stop believing it.”
“I talked to John tonight. Right before I came over.”
“Am I in trouble?” he asked carefully.
“Not even a little bit.” I kissed him. “That you went to defend my sister’s honor was what made me come here tonight. You’re amazing.”