Ripple

by Heather Smith Meloche

  “You’re doing well at the hospital,” she said, smiling.

  “Wouldn’t want Corinne Norbrett to hang my axed-off head on her office wall.”

  Ms. Barnes let out a husky laugh. “She’s not someone to screw with.”

  “I never would. I like her.”

  Ms. Barnes leaned back in her office chair, her fingertips pressed together in front of her chest. “So, have you thought about where you might go next fall?”

  Agitation scraped inside me. “Alcatraz was my first choice, but since it’s closed, my options have been narrowed to Rikers Island and Louisiana State Pen.”

  Ms. Barnes scowled. “You know I meant colleges.” She rested her hefty forearms on her desk. “You may not realize it, but I like you, Jack.”

  “Ms. Barnes! This is so sudden.”

  She gave a genuine smile. “What I mean is, I get you. I would bet that you pull most of your B.S. to show all of us higher-ups that we aren’t as in control as we think.”

  “I’ve never been a fan of a raging God complex.” I shook a finger at her. “And you should be careful about making bets, young lady. Gambling never ends well.”

  “Regardless, I would also bet that you buck the rules and the system to prove to yourself that you’re more in control than you think you are.” She stopped for a moment, her brow wrinkling. “Officer Fogerty told me how your mom tends to drink.”

  Her words made me cold inside. I had the stinging urge to bolt the hell out of there. And slam her door behind me.

  “I bet there are times when you feel like life is just bulldozing you,” she said, “so you grab up your bleacher signs and your deer anatomy to show life you can dish it out as much as you can take it.”

  I didn’t look at her, my eyes drifting toward the window.

  “Life doesn’t have to happen to you, Jack,” she said. “And your mom’s problems are hers. She’s not your responsibility. There are people you can contact who help people like her, and you have your own choices to make.”

  I kept silent and still. I knew she was trying to help, but Ms. Barnes has no idea of the scope of my mom’s issues.

  The silence stretched on until she said, “So that’s not the only reason I called you down. I wanted to inform you that you aren’t working tomorrow night. Ms. Norbrett thinks you deserve a night off so you can go to the homecoming dance, and I agree.”

  “I’d rather work,” I said, disgusted.

  “Not going to happen.”

  “Then I’ll just hang with my friends.”

  “That is also not going to happen. As much as you are, as Officer Fogerty puts it, ‘a menace to society,’ you also have a tendency to take on too much responsibility. And for your last year of high school, you should enjoy being the senior you are. Go to the dance.”

  I lifted my eyes to the ceiling and released an annoyed sigh. “Fine. I’ll go.” I pointed at her. “But I’m not getting you a corsage, and we go halfsies on any expenses.”

  She chuckled. “I’m not your date, Jack. But I can be your friend if you can look past that V and P in front of my name. And I mean that. I’m here to talk anytime.”

  Since Fogerty 2 said I had to do everything VP Barnes told me to, I’m in the thick of this hellacious evening. I considered bringing Emma, rolling her onto the dance floor in her wheelchair. She would have dug that. But even though I promised her I would visit once she left the hospital and went home, I can’t bring myself to look at her. Not when I know my mom is the one who did that to her.

  I roam around until I find Sam and Juliette having a conversation by the wall, standing side by side and barely looking at each other instead of behaving like two people who obviously dig each other.

  “Hey, Jack,” Juliette says. “Living life on the right side of the law tonight or have you jerry-rigged the sprinklers to go off any second?”

  “That’s a good one.” I give her an impressed look. “You should join the dark side. Sam and I would have you any day.”

  Sam shifts, slightly embarrassed. “I wouldn’t say I’m on the dark side. I’m a man with his own side.”

  “Uh-uh,” I say. “You can’t claim innocence. Not tonight. Not while we are surrounded by all this pathetic pomp and circumstance.”

  We stare at the crowded dance floor. My eyes snag on the quarterback with Simone Channing off to one side, and I wonder if this means that Tessa actually broke up with him. Seeing her kiss him in the hallway earlier this week made me want to punch my fist through a locker. Even though I have no right to feel that way.

  I’ve been keeping my distance from Tessa, for Mom’s sake. I was worried for a while Tessa might tell someone about Emma’s hat in Mom’s car. But she hasn’t told.

  Simone’s dress sparkles like she is the disco ball set up for this evening. She leans her ear next to the quarterback’s mouth as he talks above the music. Then someone steps out from behind them both—Tessa, looking left out of the conversation. The sight of her is a blow to my chest. Not just because she looks freaking beautiful, but because she’s clearly still dating her boyfriend.

  “It’s not over.” I don’t mean to say it out loud.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Juliette is suddenly next to me.

  “I thought she was breaking up with that guy.”

  Juliette looks over at Tessa and the football player. “I don’t know what her plans are there. I just know she really wanted to come tonight because of that really stunning dress she has on.”

  I take in the red dress hugging Tessa’s petite body. Her blond hair hangs in ringlets against her bare, pearl-like shoulders.

  “Her stepdad worked extra hours,” Juliette says. “He saved money to buy that amazing gown for her, and since you live next door, I’m sure you’ve noticed they don’t live in a mansion. The gesture meant a lot to her, and she swore she’d wear that dress tonight no matter what.” Juliette pokes my arm. “And I guess since you decided she’s not worth talking to—”

  “It’s not that. I just shouldn’t be getting any closer to her since . . . Listen. My mom and I have decided to move again. I won’t be here for very long.”

  “Why don’t you just tell her that?” Juliette looks at me like my brain has malfunctioned.

  I shake my head. “I can’t tell her.”

  Juliette throws her hands up. “What is wrong with guys? Just tell her what the hell you’re thinking.”

  Sam leans in. “I find it best to smile and nod when she goes off like this.”

  Juliette points her finger at him. “Your two cents don’t help right now, Sam Kearns.”

  Sam pinches his lips together, not saying a thing.

  Juliette turns on me again, but this time, her round face is filled with concern. “Jack, lately Tessa’s . . . She’s just not talking to me a lot. She’s struggling with something. And I’m worried. She mentioned she’s talked to you, and I don’t know how much. But if Tessa’s confiding in you, please, Jack, talk to her.”

  “Okay,” I say.

  “Thank you.” Juliette takes a deep breath. Then her finger juts in my direction again. “And one more thing. Tessa is under enormous pressure right now, so if I find out you’ve upset her more, I’ll rip your balls off and hang them from the cafeteria ceiling.” Juliette throws me a scalding glare, then walks away.

  Sam shrugs. “Sorry, dude. She’s a little aggressive sometimes.”

  “She is,” I say. “But she’s right a lot of the time.”

  “Don’t remind me.” Sam levels a look at me, like the future lawyer or politician his mother wants him to be. “And now that she’s gone, I’ll give you my two cents. My mom’s mentioned that your mom’s got some problems. So I hope you don’t mind me saying that, you know, dude, you can always talk to me. Seriously. But if that’s kind of awkward for you, and I get how it could be, then you might need Tessa to confide i
n as much as she needs you.”

  I’m quiet for a moment since I’m not sure I like Sam knowing about my mom’s “problems,” which must mean her drinking. Still, Sam’s a good dude to have as a friend, and it’s kind of cool he knows some of what I deal with without me having to actually talk about it. And I can’t argue with him about Tessa being someone I can confide in.

  “You might be right,” I tell him.

  Sam smiles. “Later,” he says, and wanders away to find Juliette.

  I glance over at Tessa. Ty Blevens has joined them. He’s talking to Tessa, but she doesn’t look too happy about it. He’s leaning in too close.

  Suddenly, Tessa stalks away. But Ty is right behind her.

  Tessa

  When Ty approached us in the gym, chills cruised through me. He acted all casual, saying hi to Simone and Seth, but I could tell he was still seething, like his car I’d cracked up yesterday was right there in the low-lit room with us. He just stood there, saying stupid things like, “Wish they’d let us ball players have our own dance so we didn’t have to hang with some of these turd balls.” All the while giving me that hard, evil look until I couldn’t take it anymore.

  So now I’m walking away, heading through the dancing crowd and toward the bathrooms out in the hall. The silence is heavy after being where the music thumped and blared. I push at the bathroom door.

  “I don’t think so.” Ty grabs me hard by the arm and yanks me into the boys’ bathroom instead. The smell of urine assaults me.

  Ty pushes me until I stumble against the hard sink. He stands in front of the door, blocking the only way out. Panic spasms through me.

  “We have a situation,” he says.

  I keep silent. Stay strong. I can’t let him intimidate me. Whatever he says to me, I’ve got some pretty damaging info about him as leverage.

  “I can overlook my car.” He nods. “It’s already been fixed. I just told my dad some sex-crazed skank came begging me to love her and, when I wouldn’t, she smashed in my windshield.”

  I keep my breath even. In response, Ty sticks his ugly face in mine. He smells like sour beer. “But you and I still have our original arrangement.”

  My stomach knots. “I’m not delivering drugs for you anymore.”

  “Wow.” His tone is flat. His dark, deep-set eyes glare. “What will your boyfriend say, then, when I tell him about that little scene I came across in the basement of Coffee Haven?”

  I think about the consequences of defying him. I know I should break up with Seth eventually. But even if I’m not his girlfriend, when the truth comes out, he’ll tell Simone. Simone will tell everyone. Everyone will know that I’m that girl. Even Principal Levy, who could tell my grandmother. And Mrs. Cronson in the front office, who could tell my mom.

  Still, I can’t keep doing this for Ty. I’m just trying to run from something that I did. Maybe it’s time to face what I’ve done.

  Ty pushes closer, his hot breath burning my face. “Your silence tells me you’re reconsidering.” I back up, against the sink. “How about we alter the arrangement? You do something else for me, and I’ll keep quiet.”

  His hands suddenly grip my face. His thick lips crash against mine.

  But no power floods me. I am a girl. Held down by a guy. And I’m on the verge of something very dangerous.

  I try to push Ty away. But he is solid, determined. Fear crackles. His hand stays clenched around my jaw to keep my mouth locked to his.

  And I wonder if this is what I deserve. Maybe this is what I am. An easy screw in the boys’ bathroom. An easy screw anywhere. Maybe this is what I’m good for.

  Jack’s words ring in my head. We blame ourselves for most of what we do. We beat ourselves up. It’s chaos theory. And his ripples on the dark pond flash inside my head.

  Instinctively, I gently clutch Ty’s shoulders, let my body relax. I slip a hand around Ty’s neck, a soft embrace.

  He groans. His mouth smiles against mine. He thinks I’m acquiescing. He thinks he’s won. His grip on me loosens.

  I tighten my hold on his neck. And I find a power I’ve never felt before.

  With one heave of my knee, I rear up and hit him between the legs. He grunts, bends. I squirm from his grasp and run toward the door.

  One quick glance behind me and I see he’s already righting himself.

  But I’m free.

  I yank at the door handle, hurl out into the hallway, and stop. Ty’s footsteps clap right behind me. But I’m staring straight at Seth, Simone clutching his arm. Their surprised gazes moving from me to the “Boys” sign on the bathroom door.

  Off to one side, someone else steps from the shadows.

  Jack.

  His expression as shocked as Seth’s.

  Ty slips his arm around my stiff waist. His wide lips slide into a smile.

  “Thanks, Tessa.” He gives me a lecherous wink, looks down as if checking to make sure his fly has been properly zipped, then saunters away.

  “Why?” Seth whispers.

  Or maybe it’s Jack.

  I can’t tell. And I can’t answer. I am glacial with guilt and shame.

  I want to explain how I was attacked. How I fought. And won.

  But I can’t. This moment is about so much more than what just happened.

  And everything I had just moments before starts to crumble in front of me as Simone presses her body against Seth, acting like a pretty pillar of support.

  “How could you?” she says to me. “How could you do that to him? I said you were a skank. I knew it.” Simone’s dark brown eyes are venomous.

  Seth stares at me, confused.

  “Let’s go.” Simone pulls Seth toward the gym. The crowd sucks them in. The door closes behind them. And the hall grows silent as Jack and I stand there, alone.

  I wait, stone-straight, for Jack to spit his disgust at me. So I can tumble as far down as I deserve.

  He steps close. His gaze flickers over my messed-up hair and, most likely, the reddened skin where Ty’s fingers clamped against my jaw.

  Realization hits.

  “Fuck no,” he says. In a second, he’s a tower of lean muscle, launching past me, heading to wherever Ty went.

  I rush to stop him. “Jack, just leave it. Please.” I can’t have Jack fighting my battles. I have to learn how to do it on my own.

  Emotion streams across his face—pain, disgust, sympathy. “Let’s just go,” he says, reaching his hand out for me.

  Before he changes his mind, I take his hand.

  As he leads me out of the hallway, a girl screams in the gym. Then another. I startle, but Jack keeps moving.

  People shout, “Worms! Maggots!”

  Jack laughs, a sound that warms and thaws me, turning what was glacial into muscle and blood, bone and girl, flowing faster behind him, running now until we’re both through the school exit and headed away from the chaos.

  Jack

  I get Tessa safely in my car, then rush back into the school. Lucky for Ty, he doesn’t run into me. With Tessa not here to stop me, I have no idea how I’d react. I grab Tessa’s jacket and make Sam promise to cover for me with Ms. Barnes.

  “Tell her I went home sick,” I say.

  “Ebola? Bubonic plague?” Sam asks.

  “Tell her this dance made my malaria act up.”

  Juliette marches up to me with a camera in one hand and bits of rice in the other. She glares. “Did you put rice in the punch?”

  “Wasn’t me.” I point at the camera. “But I need that.”

  “Forget it. I’m taking pictures for the yearbook.”

  “It’s for Tessa,” I tell her. “We’re taking a little field trip.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “Where?”

  “I don’t know yet, but I bet it will be picture-worthy.”

  She hands ove
r the camera as she says, “She hasn’t photographed in months. She’s in the mood to take pictures?”

  “I’ll get her in the mood.” I wink.

  “What’s her boyfriend going to think about that?” she asks.

  “Moot point now.”

  Juliette smiles, like she’s impressed.

  “Jack,” she says, “tell her I want to see every photo she takes. No deleting.”

  “Absolutely no deleting.” I slip the camera into the pocket of my sports jacket.

  Juliette’s expression warms. “Thanks, Dalton.”

  • • •

  Back in my car, Tessa is wiping smeared lipstick from her cheeks. I slide in next to her, and my anger grows thick again as I spy bruises along her jaw.

  “Just go, Jack.” She looks out the windshield, to the road.

  I put the car in drive and ease out. Every breath I take calms me down. But I still need to know. “Tessa, did Ty—”

  “He kissed me,” she interrupts. “And pushed me up against the sink. Then I kneed him in the balls.”

  The image of Ty bent over holding his nuts lessens some of the burn. I smile. “Tough girl. But why didn’t you tell what really happened back there?” I ask.

  She clasps her hands in her lap. “I’m still guilty, Jack. Not for what Ty did to me in that bathroom, because that was way wrong. But I wouldn’t have even been there if he hadn’t caught me with someone other than Seth. So I guess I felt like I deserved having Seth looking at me so disgusted. And having Simone call me a skank.”

  Tessa shivers, wrestling hard with her past actions.

  “Okay. But you should report Ty for trying to hurt you,” I say, not wanting the asshole to get away with it.

  She gives a weak shrug. “Maybe I will. When I can think about things clearer. But after Ty eventually tells everyone about me cheating on Seth, and I’m sure he will, the police might listen to me, but no kid at Pineville High will believe I didn’t willingly go into that bathroom.”