Desire

by Alex Palange

  I started laughing, but Luke looked absolutely devastated.

  “Alexis, oh my god I’m so sorry.”

  He mumbled, trying his best to get up.

  “Oh calm down will you, it’s not like you haven’t been on top of a woman before.”

  I grinned, wrapping my arms around his neck, stopping him from pulling away.

  “Maybe, but you’re not a woman.”

  I frowned at him, and let go, allowing his escape. I jumped up and glared at him.

  “You’re not a woman, could you be any more fucking patronising?”

  I shouted. I was so mad and felt so belittled. It hurt more because it was Luke who had said it.

  “Whoa, Lexi, calm down”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down, when you have just offended me like that. I am a damn woman; I’ve been told I’m a sexy fucking woman. Shall I prove it, huh, Luke? Shall I show you how much of a woman I am?”

  I pulled my top off over my head, revealing my bare chest.

  “Are these not a woman’s tits?”

  I grabbed my breasts, almost presenting them to him.

  “How about this?”

  I reached for my shorts, and he shot across the room, grabbing a blanket on his way. He wrapped the blanket around my almost naked body.

  “Alexis, what the fuck are you doing?”

  He yelled. Shit, I had literally snapped and made a fool of myself. I stepped back, wrapping the cover around myself more.

  “Lex…”

  “Just go.”

  I mumbled, feeling utter shame.

  “I didn’t mean that how it sounded, I meant you’re not just any woman.”

  “Luke please, just go.”

  “Sweetheart…”

  “Stop, don’t call me that.”

  “Honey…”

  “Oh my god, are you trying to piss me off more. Luke, get out of my room.”

  I shoved at his chest, forgetting I needed to hold onto the blanket, and it fell to the floor. I was about to freak out again when Luke grabbed hold of me and did the one thing I never thought he would. He kissed me. I didn’t have a chance to kiss him back, because he shoved me away, and stormed out.

  I stood looking at the door, completely dumbfounded. Never, not once in my life had Luke ever even looked at me in a way that made me think he liked me. He treated me exactly like my dad did, almost like I was still a child. That was why I had never believed I would have a chance with him.

  But thinking about it, he had been weird all day. Since I had taken him his breakfast, and he had looked down my top, he had been very standoffish. Had he been looking at me somehow differently today? What had changed today to make him do what he had?

  I got showered, and changed, as quickly as I could with a sprained ankle. I had to talk to Luke before dad came home. I checked his room, before heading downstairs. He was sitting in the kitchen, nursing a beer. I leaned against the door just looking at him. He didn’t spot me straight away. When he did, he jumped up.

  “Lexi, I…fuck, I am so damn sorry. I should never have…fuck.”

  He had sworn in front of me today, more than he had my whole life, it was rather sexy.

  “So why did you?”

  I asked. He started tidying, mumbling about how wrong he was, and how bad he felt. I hated this, I’d never seen him act like this, he was always so in control.

  “I didn’t mind at all.”

  I smiled. He froze mid counter-top wipe and glared at me.

  “You didn’t mi…how can you say that?”

  He looked at me like I had just suggested killing a puppy or two.

  “Luke.”

  “No Lexi, I’ve known you since you were this big.”

  His hand hovered at his waist.

  “I’ve been part of your life, watching you grow up, it’s wrong what I did.”

  I walked, well I hopped, over to him, and made him look at me.

  “I’m not that big any-more, I’m not a kid, I’m a woman.”

  “Yeah, I think you just proved that.”

  He sighed. I saw it then, he was in some sort of internal struggle. He did like me, but he was conflicted because he had known me so long.

  “Luke, look at me.”

  His eyes met mine.

  “How do you see me?”

  “I’ve always seen you as Mel’s daughter.”

  That stung, I couldn’t hide it as I almost burst into tears. But he took my hands in his.

  “But, and I hate myself for this, but today, when you stepped into my room in that little dressing gown, my opinion, momentarily, changed. Then there were those shorts, that top, I tried to ignore it, believe me, I tried.”

  He hung his head in shame. I had to somehow make him see this wasn’t wrong, it’s not like he had always fancied me. This was new for him, and I was no longer a child, I was not related to him, and god, I wanted him so badly. I boldly reached out, touching his face. He didn’t pull away, however, shocked he looked.

  I stroked his cheek, feeling the bristles of his stubble under my palm, and he leant into my touch, closing his eyes. I fell in love with him all over again in that intimate moment. I shuffled closer, while he wasn’t looking, and moved my face in close to his.

  He must have felt my breath on his lips because he opened his eyes.

  “Lex.”

  He whispered in a warning tone. I shushed him, and gave him an open-mouthed kiss, taking his bottom lip between mine. I placed my forehead against his and sighed.

  “Luke, see me, just me, here, now.”

  He took my face in his hands.

  “Oh sweetheart, I do see you, but you must see how hard this is for me.”

  “I would like to.”

  I joked, raising my eyebrows. I saw the lust and panic wash over his face, and then the front door slammed. More panic followed, he shoved me away and started washing dishes like a man possessed, as though clean dishes would hide what had just happened like dad would know if the kitchen wasn’t spotless.

  I hopped over to the chair and sat down. Dad walked in with a huge grin.

  “Hi, guys.”

  “Hi, dad.”

  I smiled, Luke just gave a grunt, which made dad pull a face at me, and I laughed.

  “So what have you two been up to today?”

  He enquired innocently. Luke spun around and started babbling.

  “Us, what, nothing, we ran, she fell, ankle sore, knee all cut up and stuff, just normal day.”

  Then he swiftly left the room, my dad watching after him with the same perplexed look I must have been wearing.

  “What the hell was that?”

  “He’s been weird all day; he’s going through a lot.”

  Dad bought it without question and turned to me.

  “Are you hurt, or what, I’m not sure what he said.”

  He laughed.

  “I just tripped when running, cut my knee and sprained my ankle, it’s nothing”

  “Wait, you were running.”

  He laughed again. I pulled tongues at him and made my way slowly upstairs. I passed Luke’s room and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I stopped and popped my head in the door.

  “Luke.”

  He stood up and shook his head like I had asked him a question, and his immediate response was no.

  “Lexi, go to your room.”

  “Are you shitting me?”

  I laughed. He stormed toward me, and even though he was obviously mad, he was gentle due to my ankle, but he shoved me into the hallway.

  “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

  “What conversation, I didn’t say anything.”

  “I know what you came up here for, and it’s never going to happen.”

  I was mad myself now. He presumed he knew me; he had no clue what I was really like and what I really wanted.

  “Oh don’t flatter yourself, Luke.”

  I sneered.

  “What you said
down there was so damn wrong, just go to bed, and we are never talking about today again.”

  “You’re the one who kissed me.”

  I yelled the first part, but remembering dad was downstairs, I whispered the kiss part.

  “I didn’t know what I was doing, believe me, I will never do it again. You’re a kid to me.”

  I stepped back a few paces, feeling the tears form in my eyes. Seeing he had upset me, he tried to step toward me, but I stopped him by raising my hand.

  “Stay the fuck away from me.”

  I cried, the first tear falling onto my cheek. I rushed to my room and slammed the door. Fuck him, if he didn’t want me, there were many guys I knew who did. I would show him, he would see I wasn’t a kid, and realise what he lost. A plan formed in my head, and I slept well that night, I would definitely show him.

  The next day I got up early and went out in search of Greg. He was a guy I knew from school, he was always up for some fun, but I had continuously refused his advances. I found him in the café where he worked. We ate lunch together, and I flirted shamelessly.

  When he finished his shift, I invited him back to my house, he jumped at the chance. As soon as we were in the door, he grabbed hold of me and kissed me. My ankle was still sore, but luckily I could walk, as he led me backward up the stairs.

  As we passed Luke’s room, I noticed his door was slightly ajar. I purposefully giggled, as Greg kissed my neck. I thought I heard movement inside the room, and a thrill shot through me, I would give him something to think about. I laughed harder and left my door open too. I wanted him in no doubt about what was going on in my bedroom.

  Greg and I fell onto my bed and continued kissing. His hands were all over me, and however turned on I was, I knew I wasn’t about to sleep with him. I only wanted one man to be my first, and that was Luke. But there were no rules that said I couldn’t fool around a little bit.

  Greg gripped my ass and pulled my body closer to his. I could feel his hardness digging into my thigh. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by denying him totally. Then again, I didn’t want him to push for more and think I was a tease. I rolled him over and straddled his lap.

  I made sure I was sitting upon his bulge and rocked my hips. I closed my eyes and pictured Luke next door, listening to us. Would he be mad at me, would it get him off, or would he just not care one bit? Thinking about him, and the friction between us was enough to have me moaning loudly.

  Greg massaged my boobs, as I rode him harder, pushing ever closer to orgasm. I felt him twitch under me, and he groaned. The heat spread over his pants, as he shot his load. The extra warmth was enough to set me off. I let out a moan, as my pussy pulsed.

  I heard a door slam as I calmed my breathing, and knew it was Luke’s bedroom door. I couldn’t help smiling a little, it was the proof I needed that he had been in there and heard everything.

  “Sorry.”

  I heard an ashamed voice from below. I grinned down at him.

  “That’s alright; I’ll take it as a compliment.”

  “You are so beautiful Lexi, I’m one lucky guy.”

  “Awe you’re really sweet Greg, thank you.”

  We sat and talked for a little while after he had gone to the bathroom to clean himself up. He was a nice enough guy, I felt a tad guilty for using him like this, but needs must. I saw him to the door and said goodbye with a kiss. We didn’t arrange to meet again, I think he’d realised this was just a one-time thing.

  The next day it was Paul, a friend of a friend. He was another one who I had cumming in his pants. I couldn’t have sworn that Luke was even in this day, till I heard the front door slam as he left halfway through my performance. I didn’t come that time, unfortunately.

  A day or two later, I called on Mark, my ex-boyfriend. He was more than happy to call around. I opened the door and led him upstairs. As we passed Luke’s room, he appeared. Mark stopped, and looked slightly put out; I’d told him I was home alone.

  “Hey, I’m Luke, I guess you are today’s fuck?”

  He said to Mark. I stared at him aghast. Mark shuffled his feet uncomfortably, as Luke stared him down.

  “Just go home lad.”

  He warned, I’d never seen him look so angry before, yet he was being very calm.

  “See you later Lexi.”

  Mark mumbled as he fled.

  “Are you for real, how dare you, what right do you have…”

  “I have the right not to have to sit in my room every damn day, listening to you fuck random guys.”

  “They weren’t random, I know them. I’m not just fucking anybody.”

  “You are going to get a reputation for yourself.”

  “I give less than a fuck what anybody thinks of me, I did use to care.”

  I walked as close to him as I possibly could.

  “I used to care what you thought.”

  I inched even closer, so my lips were right next to his, surprised when he didn’t pull away.

  “Not anymore.”

  I whispered and turned to walk away, feeling quite smug. He gripped my arm, and pulled me back, slamming my body against the wall.

  “You want to be treated like a dirty slut; I can treat you like a dirty slut.”

  He shoved his hand up my skirt, cupping my pussy. With a quick yank, he ripped my knickers away. I could barely breathe. I was so damn angry with him, but that was overshadowed by the absolute pleasure I was experiencing. I had never been more turned on.

  His fingers slid inside me with more force than I was expecting. I let out a yelp, the sensation was pleasure/pain, and I pushed my pelvis forward, needing more.

  “Your dripping all over my hand, you like it rough, I can be rough.”

  His hand moved fast and hard inside me, all the while he was mumbling, telling me he knew this was what I wanted, I had pushed him to this, I had to stop fucking random guys just to get at him. Honestly, hearing his angry controlled voice whispering in my ear as he finger blasted me was almost too much.

  I cried out as I creamed on his fingers and down my inner thighs. He froze, and stared at me, like he had awoken from a trance, his breathing laboured. He removed his hand and struck his fist on the wall just behind me.

  “Fuck.”

  He yelled in my face and stormed into his room. I jumped when he shouted. He was beyond angry, although I knew his anger was more at himself than me, he’d actually frightened me a little. I was surprised that this also turned me on. I think that man could do anything and it would make me melt.

  He hadn’t closed his bedroom door, so I walked over and stood watching. Luke was pacing along the bottom of his bed, mumbling to himself like a madman. When he saw me, he stopped. His face was red, but the colour drained when he looked at me.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t Luke, I can’t stand here and listen to you apologise for something I wanted, not again.”

  “I meant, I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

  I hadn’t even realised I was crying. I wasn’t upset by the way he had treated me, or spoken to me. I realised I was upset because he had once again walked away. What was so wrong with me that he wouldn’t just allow this to happen? Why didn’t he want me, like I wanted him?

  “I should never have treated you that way.”

  “Don’t you understand it yet? I want that, I want you, I want it all. No man has ever come close.”

  “But you, and those fucking pricks…”

  I walked over to him, stopping right in front of his face.

  “They were nothing.”

  “Having sex is not nothing.”

  “I never had sex with them; I’ve never had sex with anybody. There has only ever been one man I wanted to be inside me.”

  I grabbed his face in my hands.

  “That’s you Luke, nobody else, never anybody else.”

  He closed his eyes, and let out a frustrated groan.

  “Please don’t do this to me, Alexis, you’ve no idea how much I wa
nt…but I…I just can’t. I’m sorry; I don’t know what else to say.”

  I kept my hands on his face.

  “If I was anybody else right now, what would you do?”

  “I’d lose myself in you.”

  Oh god, I loved his honesty.

  “So don’t think, just act, I want you Luke, please stop holding back.”

  He stroked his hand along my cheek, and I could see in his eyes he was trying to fight his desires, but his lips aiming for mine were an indication he had given in denying what this was.

  “Anybody home?”

  Dad yelled up the stairs. I’d never seen a mood change so quickly.

  “Lexi, enough, just get out.”

  He shoved my hands away and turned his back on me. I stepped up to his back and spoke into his ear.

  “You want me, you can deny it as much as you want, but it will happen, I have to feel this inside me.”

  I reached around and gripped his already hard cock. He sucked in a breath. I let go and walked back to my own room, leaving him hard and horny. I knew this was what he wanted now, just as much as I did, so I would make him mine, fulfil my ultimate desire.

  He avoided me for a few days when I walked into a room, he made an excuse and left. Dad said he was worried about him, so I said I would have a talk with him, make sure he was doing ok. The next day, when I heard the front door slam, I went to his room.

  I was about to knock, but the door was open slightly, so I just looked inside. Luke was angrily throwing clothes into a suitcase. I walked in without an invite.

  “Going somewhere?”

  I asked, he stopped and stared at me.

  “I’m just tidying up.”

  “With a suitcase? Give me some credit.”

  He sighed.

  “Look I can’t do this right now; I have a train to catch.”

  “A train?”

  I gasped.

  “I’m going to see my brother.”

  “In Ireland.”

  “Yeah.”

  He was packing again.

  “For how long?”

  “A while.”

  I stalked over to him and grabbed the jumper out of his hands.