Khalshir (Kingmakers Book 1)

by Jaye McKenna

  “Coryn—”

  “Don’t.” Coryn continued on down the hall without a backward glance. Rio couldn’t follow him without leaving his post, which would be a serious transgression. He remained rooted to the spot, mouth going dry as it occurred to him that by tonight, he might well be facing not only Bajhan’s displeasure, but the prospect of retirement.

  When Dani emerged from the dining room, he looked more subdued than ever. He didn’t say good morning, nor did he ask Rio how he’d slept. As had been their habit before Dani’s confinement, they went straight to the library, where Mistress Orlina awaited them.

  Lessons were a disaster. Far too distressed to concentrate, Dani made mistake after mistake. Instead of becoming impatient with him, Mistress Orlina was uncharacteristically solicitous. When matters didn’t improve, she sent him back to his suite and told him to get some rest.

  Alone in Dani’s suite, Rio put a tentative hand on Dani’s shoulder. “What is it, Dani? What happened?”

  “I’ve been given another chance.” Dani’s voice was steady enough, but his tone was bitter, and his shoulders were slumped. “I’m to begin accompanying him into the city for his evening meetings. Apparently, I need toughening up, whatever that’s supposed to mean. Gods only know what he’s expecting me to do.” He bowed his head, covering his face with his hands.

  Damn the Khalshir and their protocol. It tore at Rio’s heart to see Dani so upset, and he’d be damned if he was going to ignore his distress. With no more thought than that, he settled his arm over Dani’s shoulder and drew him close. It was meant to be a simple hug, a show of support, perhaps, or an offer of comfort. But when Dani lowered his hands and lifted his gaze to meet Rio’s, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Who moved first, Rio couldn’t have said, but their lips brushed in a gentle kiss, which quickly deepened into something wild and hungry.

  “Rio, please…” Dani gasped when he finally broke the kiss. “I need… I want you so much.”

  “I want you, too,” Rio whispered. “But I can’t. Your father wouldn’t—”

  “I’m not asking my father,” Dani said, lips moving against Rio’s. “I’m asking you. Make me forget. Please. Take me away, even if it’s just for a little while.” The kiss that followed was deeper, and it left Rio breathless.

  “Dani…”

  Dani’s lips brushed his neck. “Mmm… you smell like sun and wind and everything bright.” Dani’s hands moved to caress his back and shoulders. “Share some of that brightness with me. Please?”

  Heat flared through Rio at the thought of his body pressed against Dani’s, that fair, perfect skin under his hands, Dani’s hands gliding over his own skin. He choked off a whimper. “Dani, I… I want… I can’t…” But he was losing the battle, losing himself, and hell, if Coryn was going to tell Bajhan what he’d seen, taking Dani to bed now was hardly going to make matters worse.

  Dani must have sensed his surrender before Rio was even fully aware of it. His hand dropped between them to brush against the front of Rio’s breeches. Rio groaned as Dani stroked him lightly, tracing the shape of his erection with his fingertips.

  “You want to,” Dani whispered, kissing his neck again, scraping his skin gently with his teeth. “I want to.” Another kiss, this one behind his ear. “Nobody’s here except you and me.” He dragged his hand up to press it against Rio’s chest, exploring the hard, defined muscles beneath his shirt. “I want to taste you, Rio. I want to hear what you sound like when you come.”

  A whimper of raw need escaped Rio’s lips. All the tension drained out of him as he surrendered to the fire roaring through his blood. Dani’s mouth met his in a kiss that was gentle and questioning to begin with, but when Rio responded, quickly became hot and demanding.

  Fumbling with laces and buttons, they made their way toward the bed. Rio pushed Dani down onto the mattress. Golden-brown eyes burning with desire raked over Rio as he shucked off his clothing and then helped Dani out of his.

  When they were both bare, Dani tugged the tie from Rio’s hair and pulled the long, dark strands forward to spill over his shoulders. Rio gave himself over to Dani completely, and Dani played his body like a musical instrument, drawing forth a symphony composed of shivering sighs and deep groans.

  Much later, when Rio stepped into the sunken pool in Dani’s bathing chamber to clean up, he was not alone, and the music they’d made together filled his mind until he could think of nothing else. Still not sated, he reached for Dani, and they sank down into the hot water together.

  * * *

  Now that he’d experienced the pleasures of Dani’s body, Rio found it difficult to pay attention to his job. He was supposed to be watching Dani with an eye toward his safety, but every time his eyes settled on his charge, his mind went back to the memory of Dani spread out before him, moaning at his every touch, and a fresh shot of heat raced through his blood.

  It didn’t help that Dani took every opportunity to brush against him when he passed, or rake eyes of molten gold over him whenever they were alone.

  He’d lost his objectivity, and he knew it. Regardless of what Coryn reported to Bajhan, Rio damn well ought to take himself off the assignment before his distraction cost Dani his life.

  As shift change — and for Dani, dinner with his father — approached, the knot in Rio’s belly grew colder and heavier.

  Dani disappeared into his dressing room to change for dinner, and Rio checked his own appearance in the mirror. At least he’d retained enough presence of mind to drape his uniform over a nearby chair so it didn’t get wrinkled. Last thing he needed was to give Coryn even more to report to Bajhan.

  When Dani emerged from the dressing room, he was impeccably groomed, but all the light had gone out of his eyes. He looked like a man preparing for his own execution.

  Dinner was still half an hour off. Rio followed Dani into the sitting room where Dani picked up a battered eulalia and settled himself in the window seat. His fingers stroked the strings, and fragments of mournful tunes filled the air.

  “I should write a song for you,” Dani said.

  Rio’s heart skipped. “For me?”

  “Ai. The eulalia’s not really suited to what’s in my head, though. When I think of you, it’s all drums and fireworks…” He looked down at the eulalia, then gave Rio a rueful smile. “This is more suited to tender ballads.”

  “Nothing wrong with a tender ballad,” Rio said, heat rushing to his face.

  Dani smiled. “Then a tender ballad you shall have.” He began plucking out musical phrases, repeating some, discarding others.

  It wasn’t long before the music dissolved into dissonance. Dani stopped and held up a shaking hand. “You see what he does to me?” He clenched his hand into a fist. “Just the thought of eating dinner with the man makes it impossible for me to play. What if he wants me to go with him tonight?”

  Rio didn’t know what to say. He gave Dani what he hoped was an encouraging smile, but that was all he could give him.

  “Sometimes I wish you were the night guard instead of Coryn,” Dani said. “But then I wouldn’t see as much of you.” He rose and set the eulalia back in the corner, then went to the sideboard, poured himself a measure of shalan, and downed it in one gulp.

  Rio raised an eyebrow, but Dani just shrugged and said, “Liquid courage. Not knowing what’s coming…” He shook his head. “It’s the not knowing that’s the worst. I don’t know what he’s going to want of me, but if it’s anything like what happened last time… I don’t know what he’ll do if I can’t… or when it will come. I feel like I’m standing on a narrow ledge high in the mountains, just waiting for a strong wind to blow me into the black chasm under my feet.”

  Dani had articulated Rio’s feelings so precisely that for a moment, all Rio could do was stare at him, a deep, soul-wracking sense of longing throbbing through him. When he finally found his voice, it was a hoarse whisper. “I know the feeling.”

  Dani stared down at the floor, but a moment later,
raised his eyes to Rio’s, a small smile playing about his lips. “This morning… I wasn’t standing on a ledge this morning. I’d found a snug little cave where I could shelter from the storm. You gave me that respite, and I thank you for it. Whatever happens tonight… or any other night… I enjoyed being with you today, and I… I hope we get the chance to do it again. I wish I could promise we will.”

  A lump rose in Rio’s throat. Much as he wanted to, he was in no position to make promises, either. Depending on what Coryn reported and what Bajhan decided to do about it, these might be the last few moments he spent with Dani. Two days from now, he could be back at the Khalshir’s secluded desert compound in chains. Three days from now, he could be dead, or retired, as his Guild-mates would say. “I hope we do, too, Dani,” he whispered.

  They walked to the dining room in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Rio didn’t say goodbye, though he knew it might well be, and Dani had no reason to suspect Rio might be gone in the morning.

  “Good luck,” Rio murmured as Dani paused to draw in a deep breath at the dining room door.

  “Thank you. I…” Dani swallowed hard. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that, Dani pushed open the door and went inside.

  Rio squeezed his eyes shut and allowed himself a few moments to grieve for all he stood to lose in the next few hours. Then he choked down his fears and regrets and took up his post outside the dining room to wait for Coryn and whatever judgment he would bring.

  * * *

  Dinner turned out to be far less stressful than Dani had feared. His father was distracted and clearly in a hurry. They ate in silence, and Larrad excused himself while Dani was still poking at his dessert.

  When he stepped out into the hall, his heart was a little lighter than it had been when he’d entered. Coryn and Rio were both there, speaking in hushed tones as they exchanged information and orders. Rio spared Dani only a brief glance before murmuring a final word to Coryn and turning away. Dani followed him down the hall with his eyes, wishing he could spend the night wrapped in Rio’s strong arms.

  Alone in his suite — except for Coryn, who couldn’t really be counted as company — Dani quickly became restless. His confinement to his suite might have been lifted, but there was nothing he really wanted to do.

  He’d told himself he’d take things a day at a time, and not worry about the future tonight, but now that Rio was gone, Dani’s mind kept drifting back to the conversation he’d had with Larrad at dinner last night.

  What had he meant when he’d said Dani needed toughening up? Dani shuddered to think what fresh horrors might be in store for him in the coming days. His chest tightened, and the walls of the suite were suddenly too close, too confining. After a week inside, he desperately needed to breathe the open air.

  “I want to go out,” Dani announced.

  “Out?” Coryn gave him a dubious look. “You’re confined to the—”

  “For a walk around the grounds,” he clarified.

  Coryn nodded and escorted him out.

  Outside, the evening air was cool, and clouds obscured the stars. Dani headed toward the stable. He hadn’t been to see his little grey mare since Haiden’s death. He begged a few chunks of carrot from one of the stable hands and slipped them in his pocket.

  “Good evening, my lovely one,” he greeted her, stroking her nose. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you. As soon as Father’s finished punishing me, we’ll go for a ride together, shall we?”

  Meri whuffled at his pocket, finding the carrot easily. He fed the chunks to her one by one, reflecting on the fact that now Mother was gone, Meri was quite literally his only friend.

  Except for Rio. Rio might be his friend. Might be significantly more than his friend, if only they were free to do as they pleased. As it was, what they had could never be more than a pleasant diversion. Dani was expected to marry Eslian, and Rio… well, Rio would move on eventually. Once Larrad had solved the mystery of Haiden’s death to his satisfaction, he might well decide bodyguards weren’t needed.

  The thought of what his life might look like this time next year was more than enough to bring Dani’s mood crashing the rest of the way down. As he turned back toward the house, he caught a glimpse of Coryn’s face. His pale eyes were fixed on the practice yard, where two men sparred. Both were shirtless, one dark-skinned, the other fair. Rio for certain, and probably Jordi, with whom Rio often sparred.

  Watching Coryn out of the corner of his eye, Dani headed toward the practice yard, where he settled in to watch, lounging against the armory wall, half his attention on Rio, half on Coryn.

  Rio was so focused on the match, he didn’t appear to have noticed either of them. But Coryn… Coryn’s eyes were riveted to Rio. The look of naked longing on his face was enough to send hot shards of jealousy worming through Dani’s gut.

  Coryn wanted Rio.

  Watching the two of them interact on a professional level, he’d never have guessed. But watching Coryn now, it was painfully obvious.

  Maybe they were lovers, and had been for years, and Dani was just a pleasant diversion for Rio. Maybe Coryn resented the time Rio spent with Dani. It would certainly explain why Coryn was always so cold toward him.

  As if he felt the weight of Dani’s gaze, Coryn turned to look at him, eyes wide. Bright spots of pink appeared on his cheeks, and he quickly looked away.

  Dani cast one last look in Rio’s direction, then started back toward the house, Coryn trailing silently behind him.

  * * *

  Rio dreamed of rough hands hauling him out of his bed. He fought, but to no avail. In the end, he was chained and thrown to the floor.

  Traitor.

  He looked up to see Bajhan staring down at him. His mentor didn’t say a word, didn’t need to, with those cold black eyes full of accusation.

  Rio woke in a cold sweat in his quarters in the barracks, heart pounding madly in his chest. The first rays of the sun filtered through the thin cloud cover, providing just enough light for him to be certain he was alone.

  For how much longer, though?

  He sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. Truth was, he hadn’t expected to wake up here at the Jherek estate. The dream that had torn him from sleep should have been last night’s reality, but it hadn’t been, and Rio had no idea why not.

  Bajhan should have ordered him to the Wild Rose or had Hawk arrest him.

  Neither of those things had happened. In fact, when Coryn appeared for shift change last night — so late there wasn’t time to exchange more than a few brief words — Rio had fully expected to be told it was over.

  But Coryn hadn’t said anything of the sort.

  Nor had he said a word about meeting with Bajhan.

  Rio had spent a good part of the evening working off his nervous energy in the practice yard, first with Jordi, and then with Hawk. It hadn’t helped. His sleep had still been plagued with nightmares.

  He rolled out of bed and dressed in his uniform, then rebraided his hair, which was still damp from last night’s bath. When he reached the dining room, Coryn was waiting in his usual spot.

  “How was your night?” Rio asked Coryn.

  Coryn’s eyes remained fixed on the floor. “Nothing to report.”

  “Nothing? Not even your meeting with Bajhan?”

  “Nothing,” Coryn said flatly. He started to leave.

  “But—”

  Coryn spun around. “I said, nothing.”

  Rio stared at him for a moment, but couldn’t think of a thing to say. After Coryn was gone, he mulled over the brief conversation and realized Coryn hadn’t said he’d told Bajhan nothing. He’d only said he had nothing to report.

  What the hell did that mean?

  He was still mulling it over when Dani emerged from breakfast. Dani didn’t say good morning, and the smile he gave Rio was guarded, wary. The moment the door of the suite closed behind them, Dani fixed him with cool, golden eyes.

  “So tell me how it is between you and
Coryn,” Dani said softly. “Tell me why he looks at you the way he does.”

  “What… what are you talking about?”

  “Are you really that oblivious?” Dani smiled and shook his head. “The man is in love with you. You can’t tell me you hadn’t noticed.”

  “I…” Rio stared down at the scar on his palm. “He’s not. I’ve known him since we were children. We… we’re friends. Sworn brothers, even, but I don’t think… I’ve never…” He frowned and raised his eyes to meet Dani’s. “Why do you think that?”

  “You’ve never noticed the way he looks at you?” Dani prodded.

  “I… but…” If Coryn was in love with him, why would he have—

  Rio drew in a sharp breath. Had Coryn reported him to Bajhan?

  If Dani was right, maybe Coryn was struggling with his own conscience as much as Rio was. Was that why he hadn’t been ordered to report to the Wild Rose last night? Because Coryn hadn’t told Bajhan a damn thing?

  Dani said something else, but Rio wasn’t listening. He was thinking over the last few times he’d seen Coryn, and their last assignment together, a year ago, it must be.

  Now that he gave it some thought, it did explain a few odd things he’d observed over the years. The long silences, the sidelong looks… the way Coryn sometimes jumped guiltily when Rio looked at him…

  How long had Coryn felt this way?

  Rio cast his mind back further. Before they’d joined the Khalshir? Did it go that far back? He bit his lip, feeling vaguely sick as he realized it went all the way back to Vhalion. Maybe it was the whole reason Coryn had followed him to Akhat and joined the Khalshir in the first place.

  But why hadn’t Coryn ever said anything?

  He hadn’t meant to ask the question aloud, but he must have, for Dani said softly, “Maybe he decided he’d rather have you as a friend than risk losing you completely.”

  Was that why Coryn had been so angry with him when he’d found Dani asleep in Rio’s arms? Rio had assumed it was because of the breach in protocol, but… could Coryn be jealous?