Wade's Woman

by Christina Carlisle

  Tara could scarcely breathe as he lowered his dark head to hers. “Yes, I would like that,” she whispered as Ryan's mouth closed over hers. Her hands fluttered in the air before gripping Ryan's shirt. She clung to him, drowning in the glory of the moment. Ryan deepened the kiss, his tongue tasting and stroking her as Tara responded, releasing all of the pent-up emotion she had felt for him in the past weeks.

  When they drew apart, Ryan took a shaky breath, his hands touching her swollen red mouth. “That was long overdue,” he said. “I have wanted to do that since the first night I saw you."

  Tara felt burning heat race up her throat. “I didn't know."

  I sound so feeble. But Ryan wants to make love to me so I'm happy.

  "I'm sorry I've been a pain the last couple of days, Tara. I feel pretty bad asking you to marry me for what must seem very selfish reasons, but that kiss has broken down quite a few barriers. I would consider us sexually compatible, wouldn't you?"

  "I guess so. We don't really know yet."

  "Do you want to wait to have sex until we're married?"

  Tara placed her hands to her face, embarrassed at his bluntness. “I think it might be advisable.” To her ears her words sounded ridiculous. It shouldn't matter and yet, something held her back.

  Ryan laughed and leaning over the desk, pressed the buzzer for the next patient. “Not advisable for me, I can assure you. But I'll be patient, if that's what you prefer."

  Tara hastily cleared away the instruments and changed the sheet on the operating table. She was glad of the respite to allow her heartbeat to settle. She could hardly believe Ryan had kissed her with such abandonment and that she had returned the kiss with such passion—or that it had been followed by a very unromantic discussion about when to have sex.

  "Ryan, can you see little Brett Logan?” Lauren put her head around the door, her expression full of concern. “David's had to go out and I think Brett may be an emergency."

  "Sure. Bring him in.” Ryan straightened his shoulders as he tried to bring his mind into focus.

  He hadn't meant to kiss Tara—it was the understanding smile she had given as he had ushered Helen Marshall from the surgery. The look on Tara's face had caused his heart to lift in the most extraordinary way, knowing she bore no ill feeling about his abysmal behaviour of the past two days.

  He couldn't understand why it hurt him so much that Tara should think he'd had affairs. She had made it quite clear that she wanted him to sort himself out if they were to marry. He wondered if he presented the demeanour of a player, a man who enjoyed affairs even when he was married. Oh, sure, he'd been tempted, especially when their marriage had hit such low points, but some insane loyalty to Carol and particularly the kids had stopped him.

  It really disturbed him that Tara should hold him in such low esteem. Yet his own stupid pride prevented him from denying any rumours. He supposed he couldn't blame Tara for thinking the worst of him, with Carol feeding drips of poison through phone calls and the comments from her friends.

  Still, he wouldn't have changed that kiss for the world. It had woken a sleeping tiger within him, and Tara's response was everything he could have hoped for—and more. Perhaps they could make a go of this strange marriage. Although he was aware that Tara had some deep, dark secrets that she would need to share with him if they were to be comfortable together.

  Ryan watched her now as she turned to face the door, her profile serene and perfect. He felt a savage burning in his gut as he thought of another man kissing those soft lips, her body thrusting against his, her hands touching and caressing as they made love.

  Shaking his head, he turned his attention to Brett Logan and his anxious mother who was half carrying the five-year-old into the surgery. Moving forward, he lifted Brett from his mother's arms and placed him on the operating table while Tara helped Mrs. Logan into a chair.

  "What's up, Kirsty?” Ryan asked, watching Brett closely as the child curled into the foetal position.

  "Oh, Doctor Wade, he's been complaining about a pain in his tummy for a couple of days and now he's started to be sick. I think he's really ill."

  "How many times has he vomited?"

  "About four, but it's getting more frequent."

  "Has he still got the pain in his stomach?"

  "Yes. But not so badly."

  "Right.” Ryan turned to Brett who had pushed his head into the pillow. “Let's have a look, young fella."

  He gently rolled the child over on to his back and Brett immediately covered his face with his arms. Tara stroked the top of his head to keep him calm.

  "It's all right, Brett. It will all be over in a moment and I'm sure Doctor Ryan will have a little present for you for being so good,” she whispered to the child.

  Brett uncurled slightly but still kept his hands over his face.

  "I'm just going to feel your tummy,” Ryan said as Tara undid Brett's shirt and Ryan gently pressed his stomach and lower abdomen.

  "A bit tender,” he commented to Tara.

  "Is it the appendix?"

  Ryan didn't answer as he pulled Brett's arm away from his face and the little boy flinched. “Tara, can you turn off the overhead light please?"

  Tara did so.

  "Is that better Brett?"

  The little boy nodded.

  "Have you got bad pain in your eyes and down the side of your head?"

  Once again Brett nodded.

  "What is it, Doctor Wade?” Kirsty stood beside Ryan looking down at her son, her eyes clouded with worry.

  "When did you have your last migraine attack, Kirsty? About a month ago?"

  "Yes. You gave me a pethidine injection."

  "Well, I'm pretty sure that Brett has a migraine."

  Kirsty placed her hand to her mouth in dismay. “But he's only five. Surely that's not possible?"

  "Yes, it is. He has every symptom of a migraine in a young child. Pain in the centre of the abdomen, pale skin, vomiting, dislike of bright lights, headache down one side of his head. It can be hereditary and you've been a migraine sufferer for how many years? Ten or twelve?"

  "Oh, no! Poor Brett. What shall we do?"

  Ryan touched the boy's cheek in a comforting gesture. “Don't get upset, Kirsty. I'm going to give him a shot of pain killer and I think you'll find he'll be fine. But I'm going to arrange for you to go to Marlston when Brett is feeling better and get a CT scan of his head to make sure there's no other problem."

  He turned to Tara who handed him the injection. He quickly injected the drug into Brett's arm before the little boy realised what was happening.

  "There we go. That's going to make you a bit sleepy, Brett, but it will take away that nasty pain."

  Brett gave a small grin as Ryan lifted him up and placed him in Kirsty's arms.

  "Thank you so much, Doctor Wade.” Kirsty gave Ryan and Tara a look full of gratitude as Ryan scribbled out the referral for a CT examination and gave it to Kirsty.

  "Put Brett to bed and let him sleep off the drug. Tell me if he has any other problems,” Ryan said as Tara pressed a tiny toy truck into the now sleepy child's hands and watched the grin on his face with pleasure.

  Ryan closed the door after them as Lauren confirmed that Brett was the last patient for the day.

  Tara looked at Ryan with a certain amount of awe. She had worked with many doctors in the past eight or so years and had rarely seen anyone as clever and spot on with their diagnoses as Ryan—not even the many specialists she'd worked with. He really was astounding. His gentle manner with often frantic and sometimes unreasonable patients never varied. No wonder they loved him so much.

  "Ready to go next door?” Ryan asked, clicking off his computer.

  "I need to scrub down in here first. I won't be long,” Tara replied. She felt a sense of belonging at the thought of going home with Ryan

  "That was impressive,” she said as Ryan turned to go. “I would never have picked a migraine."

  Ryan shrugged. “I knew the family histor
y,” he replied. “That helps."

  "When are you going to tell Emma about going away with Carol?” Tara bit her lip as the words tumbled out. Every time she thought of Emma and Ben leaving with Carol, her heart ached for Ryan left without his children.

  "I thought tonight after dinner. Carol will be here in a couple of days so I'd better prepare Emma.” He frowned.

  "Ryan, there's just one more thing that I think is necessary before we marry.” The words trembled on her lips. "Before we marry"—how bizarre it was. They were marrying so they could help each other out of a jam. Even the agreement to have sex was so they could meet each others’ physical needs. It was a very clinical and cold arrangement and one that she hoped and prayed she wouldn't live to regret.

  "What?” Ryan sounded impatient now, keen to go to his children.

  "I ... I would like a contract drawn up stating the legalities of our marriage."

  "And that is?"

  "That when the result of the custody hearing is known no matter what the outcome, our marriage is to be terminated."

  "You make it sound pretty cold blooded."

  Tara took in his brooding expression, tight with suppressed anger. Looking directly at him she said, “That's the way it must be. I'm sorry."

  "Don't apologise, Tara. It's not every day a man gets a wife, a mother for his kids and a lover all in one, knowing he can get rid of her in a few weeks. I'll arrange things with a lawyer and don't worry; I'll make sure you have your escape clause. Heaven forbid that you should want to tie yourself to me for any longer than necessary.” With these cutting remarks, Ryan left.

  Tara began to scrub down the worktops, angrily dashing away the stray tear that rolled down her cheek. Damn it, Ryan! Don't you see this is the way it has to be otherwise you will break my heart? She furiously scrubbed away at the work top.

  CHAPTER SIX

  "Can I take all my toys?” Emma's expression was mutinous as she faced Tara.

  "No, I'm afraid you can't. I've already explained that you can take your favourites. The others will still be here when you get back."

  "Daddy will let me take them."

  "Daddy's had to go and see a patient. Now, come on, Emma. Your Mummy will be here soon."

  Tears filled the little girl's eyes and began to run down her cheeks. “I've changed my mind. I don't want to go,” she cried, running along the passage into her bedroom and banging the door behind her.

  Tara could hear her muffled sobs. She sighed. Emma was anxious about going to stay with her mother. Ever since Ryan had explained that Carol was coming to take Emma and Ben on a holiday to Sydney, Emma had alternated between huge excitement and fearful apprehension. Ryan had spent a great deal of time reassuring her, but both he and Tara were concerned at the obvious bewilderment the little girl was suffering.

  "Ben, wait!” Tara tried to catch Ben as he made his wobbly way along the passage towards the front door, only to scream with pain as he fell and knocked his head against the hall stand.

  "Oh, Ben darling! Are you all right?” Tara scooped up the screaming baby, anxiously examining his head where a large, red bump had already appeared on his forehead.

  "There, there, that must have hurt, little one.” She cradled him against her, murmuring words of comfort. A loud knock at the door made Tara jump and caused Ben to scream even more loudly. Still holding him, she opened the door and came face to face with an elegant, slim woman accompanied by a tall, fair-haired man.

  "What have you done to my child?” the woman demanded leaning forward and trying to take Ben from Tara's arms.

  "No, please, Mrs. Wade. You'll make him more frightened.” Tara backed away as Carol glared at her.

  "How dare you! That's my child you're abusing.” She turned to the man beside her. “Glen, do something, for God's sake! This woman is mistreating my kids."

  Tara swallowed, realising how the situation must appear with Ben still distressed and the sound of Emma crying from the bedroom. Suddenly two firm hands were placed on her shoulders and she was pulled against a hard, warm chest. Thank goodness Ryan had returned from his call and entered the house through the back door.

  "What's going on?” His manner was calm as he wiped away Ben's tears with a handkerchief.

  "You may well ask, Ryan. How dare you leave this girl in charge of my children? It appears to me that we've come just in time.” Carol stepped forward into the passage closely followed by Glen. Tara tried to back away but Ryan stopped her, holding her steady.

  "You're early, Carol,” he said coolly. “We weren't expecting you until eleven."

  "Just as well I'm early so I can see what this woman has been trying to cover up."

  Ryan turned Tara to face him. “Are you okay?” His tone was concerned.

  "Yes, of course. Ben fell over and hit his head and Emma's having another upset, but they'll be all right."

  Gentle fingers probed Ben's forehead. “Just a bit of a bump,” he said softly. “You take him in to see Emma, and I'll deal with things here."

  Thankfully Tara escaped, hurrying into Emma's room and closing the door. What a disaster! How angry Carol had been, she thought as she drew the little girl against her, comforting both children in her arms.

  Ryan turned to face his ex-wife. She hadn't changed. She was still beautiful in a cold, calculating way, with her blonde hair cut into a fashionable chic style surrounding her oval face. Bright blue eyes glittered at him with suppressed fury as she pushed past him into the lounge.

  "Come on, Glen. Let's collect the kids and get out of here,” she snapped, smoothing agitated hands over her expensive tweed coat.

  Ryan held out his hand. “Hello, Glen. Nice to meet you,” he said pleasantly. The older man sheepishly shook Ryan's hand.

  "You too, Ryan,” he replied.

  "I understand that you and Carol are getting married. Congratulations!"

  "Oh, for heaven's sake, Ryan!” Carol broke in. “Let's cut the niceties, shall we? Please get the children ready. We have a long trip back to Sydney."

  Ryan's mouth tightened. “Emma and Ben will be ready to go with you at eleven o'clock as was arranged by the court.” He glanced at his watch. “It's only half past nine so I suggest the two of you might like to fill in some time and have a cup of coffee at the local café."

  He almost smiled at the thunderous look on Carol's face. “I would offer you a cup here but Tara and I still have some packing to do for the children,” he continued.

  "So it's Tara, is it? That's the name of your new little harlot. Well, you're welcome to her, Ryan. And you're more of an idiot than I thought if you believe the courts are going to grant custody of Emma and Ben to a man of such loose morals who is living with a woman who abuses them."

  There was an ominous silence as Ryan stared at Carol. The memories of the arguments and bitter fights suddenly rushed at him. No, she certainly hadn't changed—she never would. How could he have ever believed that he'd loved her? He gave a slow, aggravating smile as he moved to one side to allow them to pass.

  "It won't work, Carol. You can be as vicious as you like, but the truth will come out in court. I'm sure my lawyer will vouch for that. Until then, there is no point in discussing things so I'll see you both at eleven."

  He watched as Carol stormed out followed by Glen who rolled his eyes at Ryan as he passed.

  Ryan leaned against the door and let his breath go with a rush. He could hear the muted sound of Tara's voice talking to the children and pushing himself away from the door, made his way along the passage. Now, came the hard part. Getting his children ready to leave him.

  * * * *

  Two hours later Ryan sat at the kitchen table, his shoulders slumped in dejection. “I could do with a drink."

  "It's a bit early for that, I think,” Tara said brightly. “I'll make a coffee."

  She filled the jug and plugged it in, sniffing furiously as she did so. Reaching for a tissue, she blew her nose. The children had left on their three week holiday with Carol
and Glen and she felt awful. Her stomach churned nauseously and her throat ached with unshed tears. She turned to look at Ryan. If she felt like this at saying goodbye, then how must he be feeling?

  "At least the children were happier when they left,” she remarked, spooning the coffee into two mugs.

  "Only because Carol bribed Emma with presents and Ben was ready for his nap. He would have fallen asleep as soon as they drove off.” Ryan's voice suddenly cracked with emotion and Tara placed a hand on his shoulder.

  "I'm so sorry, Ryan, but it will be all right, you'll see,” she murmured. Ryan turned and buried his face against her, his arms going around her waist. Tara leaned her head on his, gently rocking him against her.

  "I need you, Tara,” he whispered. “I need you more than ever now."

  Tara's heart was so full that she couldn't speak. She wanted to say: Yes, I need you, too, my love. At last I have someone who cares and wants me. You may not love me but that's okay, I can live with that. She had agonised over the look of despair on Ryan's face as the children had been driven away, snug and safe in their especially fitted car seats.

  He'd held himself together until then. He had deliberately teased and cajoled both of the children, reducing them to fits of giggles and laughter as he and Tara had packed their cases.

  "Have a lovely holiday, my precious,” he had whispered to Emma as he had hugged her goodbye. “Daddy and Tara will be waiting for you when you come home."

  Ryan leaned back and looked up into Tara's face giving a wry grin. “I guess we could look at it from another angle. If I was to be totally honest, the kids are hard work. Perhaps we need a bit of a holiday as well."

  Tara returned his smile, hers tinged with sadness. “I would rather have them here,” she replied.

  Standing up, Ryan reached over and took a swallow of coffee. “So would I but we're going to be pretty busy. I hope it's okay with you, but I've made arrangements for us to be married next Saturday. A celebrant will conduct the ceremony in David and Michelle's home. Afterwards I thought we could go away for a couple of days."